moral of the story if your planning a school shooting don't be an edge-lord about it and hint about it
I don't think he really wanted to commit a school shooting. I think the remaining working parts of his brain and feelings wanted to be stopped. I think he had a schitzo obsession with committing a shooting. If you look at one of his restraining orders, he emailed his MOM that he was going to kill people. If you tell your mommy you're going to do something bad, and you give her enough time to stop you, you're wanting her to stop you.
I honestly think buried under all the crazy creepy sex stuff is ALSO a weird ironic sense of humor. As you read it, it's like you can see his mind coming and going from mania, to anger, to amusement, to furious horniness, back to mania.
In the moments where he is calmest...I think some of this was supposed to be funny. I think complaining that Jesus never invaded Poland was supposed to be funny.
One theory of Schizophrenia, (which is polygenic meaning there are many many genes that make you susceptible) is that having only a few of these genes, or having them expressed differently, allows for tangential and outside of the box thinking. Meaning that a few Schizo marker genes might make you smarter or more creative. But too many, or having too many of them triggered, fries you brain. It's heritable, but still an identical twin with a schizo twin still has a 50% chance of not getting it.
And in some moments, a few shining gems in the MADNESS, you can see where the outside of the box connection WORKS. Where what he's saying is both different AND makes sense.
Indians dance like they're hopping over rabbits. Indians rhythms sound like they are lost in a drum trying knock on a door that isn't there. Indian food tastes like someone turned the lights out and spilled expired cans of spice on a pile of mud. Indians dance like they are spinning tops wabbling to somehow avoid collapsing into their own curry-soaked feet at free fall speed. Indians smell. Their religion is basically bad anime. Indian music sounds like someone broke a string and played the backwards for a thousand years. The vocal melodies sound like someone choking on toothpaste. It sounds like a woman getting fucked in her nostrils. Asians are lost like they're still trying out Michael Jackson. It's like they are a race of mindless automaton drones or something. Indians dance like infants trying out their knees for the first time.
Like infants trying out their knees for the first time.
