Trashfire Ethan Ralph vs. Mister Metokur & Gator - It's finally happening

[Tatsuya Suou]

Maybe this is a shit take, but eh, fuck it:

Having listened to the Mundane Matt stream with Jim Ralph hopped onto, it's really dawned on me just how fucking SURREAL this has all become. I know Jim often says he doesn't have any "internet fwends", but it is so goddamn telling when up to, and even to some extent now, he's remained almost passive. Yeah sure, he liked the Jim show, laughed at a lot of Ralph's misfortunes, but he often kept any insults and the likes to the BARE minimum. Any time he's been on other people's streams regarding Ralph's shenanigans, he remained mostly silent. And don't even get me started on the numerous times Jim's hopped onto the Killstream, even without being asked or coerced to.

In his Ballad of Mundane Matt video, he- to some extent- stood up for him. This is all to say that Jim definitely got along with this guy at the ABSOLUTE least. It just baffles me how this never even once dawns on Ralph.
Jim only ever got confrontational here because Ralph legitimately took things way too far.

Listening to this, I can't help but feel some blend between "wow I kinda feel bad" and "but he really brought all this upon himself". I mostly feel the latter, though.

I never thought I'd see the day.

 

[A Sunset]

Here's abridged version:

• Ralph get pissed over gator shaking pills with flamenco and Gym
• They part ways, Gaydur spill beans about being cohost of Ralph
• Meanwhile Ralph getting beat up posted his face on twitter for pity points
• Gym makes fun of Ralph
• Ralph seethes
• It all culminated in boulder stream 2.0 but roles were reversed
• Gym politely told Ralph he was never his friend and berated him for attacking Jade
• He rage quit the stream with broken heart

You dropped this, king

Now that I’m caught up - Ralph is a fat faggot who nearly cried live in front of thousands of people, because a Boomer troll said he wasn’t his e-friend. Hearing his pig squeals slowly transition Into high-pitched quivering whining as he fought back salty tears was truly wonderful.

 

[Tatsuya Suou]

You dropped this, king

Now that I’m caught up - Ralph is a fat faggot who nearly cried live in front of thousands of people, because a Boomer troll said he wasn’t his e-friend. Hearing his pig squeals slowly transition Into high-pitched quivering whining as he fought back salty tears was truly wonderful.

That was something that kinda bothered me for the longest. Seeing Jim actually tell it to his face where he can actually here was amazing.

 

[Yaniv’s Hairy Balls]

Bro I'd have to be borderline retarded to start digging through streams looking for examples to clip because you're mad I called your internet daddy a name you don't like. Do you seriously think this is a reasonable thing to ask somebody to do? Do you seriously think anybody would actually do it?

I can sympathise with Jim being like a father figure to you but my opinion shouldn't threaten your worldview this much.

Never change dyn.

 

[Ralph Barnhardt]

I don't get how Jim is winning in the poll. Ethan hemmed and hawed, contradicted himself, cried, lied and was called out for all of that by Jim but Ethan stayed there for all of it. It wasn't until Matt asked about his report history that Ethan took his hardest turn from trying to be nice to antagonism and when Matt pushed him just once the Ralphamale tucked his gunt between his legs and ran away.

Matt is the real hero here. Jim's stuff was fun and interesting but it wasn't anything we didn't already know. Ethan is a liar, a hypocrite, and has both the morality and alcoholism of fellow gunt Bob Chipman. With one simple question Matt turned the greatest killstream moment, one that Ethan beat to absolute death, right back on him.

I never paid much attention to Jarbo before the Boulder stream, had a little fun trolling right after, and forgot about him until he was brought up by others. This stream has really endeared me to him. I don't know if he's gonna try to get back into internet stuff but I really hope he doesn't. There's nothing here but misery and autism. What he's doing now is paying for his woman, kids, and himself. This is such a beautiful ending to the saga of Matt Jarbo and I would hate for it to be ruined.

Semper Fi and take this

All hail the Boulder King.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

Late to watching the entire Jarbo/Jim/Ralph stream but Jesus, how embarrassing. Jim went way easier on Ralph than Ralph deserves and he still had the nerve to cry over it and say Jim was trying to ruin him.

The most ridiculous part was Ralph claiming he loves his son. I'm sure even Ralph has moments where he feels guilt and regret, but nothing he has ever done is out of love for his son. Even when Faith was pregnant, rather than trying to ensure a healthy mom and child, he was more concerned with drinking, choking her out and securing a polyamorous relationship with a lolicon (who was also pushing for a relationship with a pregnant teenager, just so many red flags). Then he made sure to totally burn the bridge with the baby's family. Admittedly, the Vickers are drama whoring retards but as a parent, you have to make compromises for your child's sake. The idea that he now or has ever "loved" his son is 100% laughable. Love requires self-sacrifice and actions that benefit the other person, something that Ralph seems incapable of doing. Jim even had the good graces to avoid shitting on him over it.

Ralph predictably looked like a pathetic addict faggot the entire time.

It’s absolutely retarded that Ralph says “I love mah son.” He’s never met his son, scarified nothing, never seen him in person and never will. He’s not only done nothing for his son, he’s actively acted harmful towards his mother and the family actually caring for and raising him.

His son might as well be a figment of his imagination, he’s just a concept that Ralph uses a shield or pawn for his pathetic persona and to grift money.

If you put little Xander down in a room with other 9 month old babies Ralph wouldn’t have the slightest clue which one he even was.

 

[bovinedrainer]

"Well I'll be damned I just heard a knock, someone must have come over to drop off my shipment of Maker's M-"
"WAT IN DA GOD DANG, SOME AYHOG JUST LEFT CORNCOBS ON MY PORCH, AHHHHHHHH"

 

[Thirteenfifty]

Some of you may have hinted this, but I thought I'd remind anyone who has forgotten just how wild and widespread the reaction to the original boulder stream was. That is to say, all of the sudden people would leave comments or superchats on channels of people who either knew a little about IBS and Mundane Matt or nothing at all. This is what Ralph has to face from now on.

I wonder when Ralph will have to get a job at uber eats?

and yeah the boulder stream was huge. it was a bit after warksi live went down in flames and there was no livestream content left so people were hyped for a new streaming show, personally I thought the killstream was boring even back then and wished someone else would replace them.

 

[Weeb Slinger]

Is anybody terribly surprised that Ralph's dossiers haven't t amounted to very much? If they exist at all on the Cheetos-dusted drives of his soiled computer, they are likely disorganised info dumps, arranged with even less care than the junk hoards that show up on any given episode of American Pickers.

Ralph is not a man who gives too much though to the past or the future. Like an animal, he dwells in an eternal present moment, where his go-to chess move is to viciously swipe as many pieces off the board as he can, before lighting a cigar to celebrate his victory. I could see him perhaps selling email addresses, or other contact details, to data brokers for Vegas money, but he lacks the surgical finesse for blackmail.

His proposed leaflet campaigns (that he hopes will hole the lives of his former associates below the waterline) will likely curate information that is already out there, plus whatever mean-spirited personal jabs he can't resist including, as his insatiable rage boils over the fleshy rim of his gunt. If Metokur or Gator were Sir Roderick Spode figures who could be neutralised by the word "Eulalie", then Ralph would have played that card already.

What Ralph is doing only really works on the kind respectable personages who wouldn't go near him with two 10ft bargepoles taped together. Despite his insistence that 'Christ is King' I don't think that a single figure from the clergy has graced The Killstream. Ralph's closest association with a man of the cloth will be when a priest reads him the last rites, as he convulses at the foot of a blackjack table in a third-rate Vegas casino.

 

[IamnottheNSA]

I don't get how Jim is winning in the poll. Ethan hemmed and hawed, contradicted himself, cried, lied and was called out for all of that by Jim but Ethan stayed there for all of it.

And that's why he is winning IMO. He brought Gunt to the verge of tears, something no ayylawg has done before AFAIK. And, in spite of that, Gunt stayed and kept producing corn. We want him to embarrass himself, and we want him to continue embarrassing himself.
Jarbo immediately started pressing him on the flagging question, so he ragequit. It is true that he turned Ralph's (actually Zidan's) greatest moment completely around, but Ralph ragequitting without actually showing anyting means no more corn (at least at that moment).

 

[Disheveled Human]

Imagine MundaneMatt being able to dunk on you.

"But the reality of it is we're here and I'm not dead" -Matt Jarbo on Boulder talk radio

Ralph has a boulder moment then sunsets himself...

Poetic Justice gone full circle.

 

[thismanlies]

I wonder when Ralph will have to get a job at uber eats?

Imagine Ralph driving while checking Kiwi Farms with one hand and eating someone’s cheeseburger with the other. Oh and for funsies, let’s imagine him inebriated because of course he is.

 

[Ralph Barnhardt]

And that's why he is winning IMO. He brought Gunt to the verge of tears, something no ayylawg has done before AFAIK. And, in spite of that, Gunt stayed and kept producing corn. We want him to embarrass himself, and we want him to continue embarrassing himself.
Jarbo immediately started pressing him on the flagging question, so he ragequit. It is true that he turned Ralph's (actually Zidan's) greatest moment completely around, but Ralph ragequitting without actually showing anyting means no more corn (at least at that moment).

But we already know all of that we have multiple threads and hundreds of pages of Ethan contradicting himself. At the very beginning of the stream he says that he has ongoing legal things that he cannot address and if Jim were to bring those up he wouldn't run off. Granted we'll never know if he would or wouldn't but that's what he said. Matt asked about his reporting history once and Ethan drunkenly gets offensively defensive and runs away 30 seconds later. He ran away from Matt Jarbo. That is something we haven't seen before.

 

[Octavia]

All hail the Boulder King.

To me it seemed like as soon as Matt asked for the flag history it really clicked with Ethanol Liver for the first time how much of a spiral he's been through, and it hit WAY harder than all the ways Jim said "I'm not your E-Daddy" in the previous hour.
Matt really did turn things around, huh? Outside of my yearly rewatch of the boulder stream I haven't even once thought about Matt or where he's been since. Glad to know he's turned around from being a flaggot.

 

[Berrakh]

But the reality of it is we're here and I'm not dead" -Matt Jarbo on Boulder talk radio

That’s actually a good line.

 

[Octavia]

That’s actually a good line.

It is. I thought Matt would had fucked off from the internet entirely and got a gig as an uber driver or some shit to support his kid, where nobody's gonna bring up the weird shit he got called out for and cancel him. Ralph can persevere too provided he gets his thumb out of Meigh's ass for five seconds and earnestly tries to fix his issues.

 

[Davis O'Shaughnessy]

Imagine Ralph driving while checking Kiwi Farms with one hand and eating someone’s cheeseburger with the other. Oh and for funsies, let’s imagine him inebriated because of course he is.

Maybe He could get herby hopps (If you don't know about him, Check him Out) as a co-host.

 

[Angel Dust]

!!!!! Faggotry incoming !!!!

On my breaks, I play a mobile game called Time Princess. It's basically a dress up game and the user base is 80% middle aged women who want a break from their kids and shitty husbands, 10% Tumblr snowflake retards and 10% people who just want to look at pretty clothes. (And 100% autists). Today in the chat box, Ethan Ralph was being discussed. That's how truly well fucked he is. He's being talked about and dissed by wine moms in a dress up games chat room.

 

[Lorne Armstrong]

People do that shit with much less well known cows

Exactly! Anyone who does that is a pizzachit!

https://youtu.be/iwt_Qjmzr9s

 

[DirtyOldish_pol_tard]

>implying Ralph won't die sooner

God I miss Mornings with the Manchild.