TGWTG Linkara / Lewis Lovhaug - HMMMMMMM? (Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang)

[Von Clausewitz]

I did that MST3000/CinemaSins Thing.

Spoiler

Up to 2:05 - Oh my god! Make it stop! His fucking intro already takes ages in that crummy show of his... *ding*

2:15 - I know that guy, he's funny! Sadly in this he's totally wasted. *ding*

2:27 - Bad lighting. Bad focus. Shitty frame composition! Weak wrists! *ding-ding-ding-ding*

3:58 - I know this is the self-adulation-movie of a comic book reviewer. But this is still pretty stupid, so.... *ding*

5:35 - ...and can I assure you, that you are in dire need of more acting classes. *ding*

5:58 - Seriously: Acting classes. *ding*

6:21 - Stop with that weak-wrists-camerawork. *ding*

7:00 - I think that was his transgender girlfriend, her father and his parents who just left. *ding*

7:30 - So the budget didn't went into the special effects. *ding*

8:25 - Flashback Dream Sequence Cliche in Black and White. *ding*

8:40 - Nobody grabs ones hat like this after waking up, except it is a integral part of his body or something. *ding*

8:40 - 9:10 - 30 Seconds of waking up from a nightmare that wasn't shot from the dreamers point of view. *ding*

9:13 - Mandatory Doug Walker Cameo! *ding*

9:27 - I know it's a stupid comic book reviewer movie, but this guy has a super-ship in orbit. Why... having a Sub-FTL fly to Jupiter... dammit I am over-analyzing this. *ding*

9:38 - Ah, there went the two hours of real work Spoony had scheduled for October. *ding*

10:25 - Obviously the money didn't went into a new Robot-Puppet. *ding*

11:21 - That Lenovo Thinkpad ist the first halfway decent thing I see in this movie. *ding*

11:25 - His password is "asdfghjkasdjkl". *ding*

11:35 - SoftWorks product placement. *ding*

12:30 - We are 12 minutes in and this is the first thing the main character does, besides from getting drunk is reviewing a comic that does not exist. *ding*

12:52 - That slanted angle might indicate, that something is bothering the character, or something is wrong with his psyche... but since many of the shots were tilted because of bad camera-work, I honestly can't tell. *ding*

12:58 - "Lite Beer Beer" *ding*

13:03 - Bad shot composition, also more Cameo! *ding-ding*

14:30 - So you are like the Leslie Knope of government liaisons? *ding*

15:12 - Comic book reviewer with talking robot friend, magic gun and a freaking space-battleship, who saved the world multiple times is entering midlife-crisis. *ding*

15:52 - Well that is awkward. *gnid*

16:05 - Patreon money? *ding*

16:30 - Comic Book reviewer with WMD in orbit, is blackmailing the government for Star Trek props. *ding*

16:42 - More Cameos! *ding*

17:35 - Comic book reviewer has not idea how the vessel of a near-future Jupiter-Mission would look like. For further information for interstellar travel watch "The Martain" or "Interstellar". *ding*

17:44 - "Middle-class American House Cellar bridge design" from "To Boldly Flee", granted Insano said that in the beginning of the movie. But where did the 50k go again? *ding*

18:00 - Also artificial micro-gravity-generators apparently exists, but the space ship is still reliant on regular propulsion techniques. *ding*

18:30 - Astronauts, that should be well aware of the consequences of debris hitting the space ship, are discussing this shortly before the arrival at a debris field, they must have approached for some time now. *ding*

18:42 - This movie is treating "To Boldly Flee" (the wacky comedy where General "KNEEL!" Zod and Terl from Battlefield Earth teamed up and fought a bunch of internet reviewers in flying space houses) as backstory, but tries to play it straight. *ding*

18:44 - Also: Christmas lights. *ding*

19:00 - "The Comfy Chair" is not the comfy chair from Monty Python's Spanish Inquisition. *ding*

19:14 - Dammit movie, stop hanging lanterns on your plot-holes. I am not sure if I should 'sin' this or not. *ding-gnid*

20:25 - Astronauts decide to bring unknown power source aboard, without checking what it is, despite it being part of a debris field from a destroyed doomsday weapon that was known as "The Death Bomb" *ding*

20:39 - Look! A decent reviewer! *gnid*

20:42 - More Cameos! In Family Guy cutaway scenes! How random! *ding*

21:12 - Narcissistic ringtone is narcissistic. *ding*

21:15 - Oh my god! Look at all these cameos! Don't you love random, pointless cameos of people you know?! Here are the keys you liked as a baby! Let me jingle them for you! *ding*

22:15 - So far over 22 Minutes have passed, and all that happened can be perfectly summed up with "Government is fine that comicbook reviewer with midlife crisis has an armed space ship" and "NASA Mission to Jupiter has found a energy source in a debris field of a dooms day weapon." *ding*

22:28 - "Wuuuuuhaaaaa!" *ding*

23:15 - Even more Cameos! *ding*

23:52 - I love this guy. *gnid*

24:30 - Does this mean a bunch of internet reviewer is going into space? Never heard of this one before! *ding*

25:08 - Perfectly funny and subtle gag ruined by close up shot of tweet. *ding*

25:23 - Please remember, that the other space ship took weeks or even months to get there, not to mention the cost to build it. He can do it in a few hours.
If you own a space ship like that and the government would let you keep it, you had literally hundreds and hundreds of scientists knocking at your door, offering you money and blow jobs for a ride through the solar system. *ding*

26:16 - Brad is awesome. *gnid*

27:30 - So this is where the money went. *ding*
And 'Ding' because if you give me a saw, some wood, hammers and nails a few plastic tubes, spray paint and a few LEDs, I can do that for a few hundred bucks in my spare time.

29:00 - Unlabeled control consoles. *ding*

30:53 - *gnid*

31:20 - "Hands Shaking" *ding*

(51)

 

[Long Sun]

Do Spoony and Linkara still have a bromance?

Perhaps Linkara as an unrequited crush on Spoony ?

 

[Mungo]

Do Spoony and Linkara still have a bromance?

I don't think so, considering that Linkara is virulently PC. He doesn't sound like someone who'd be best buds with Spoony, at least after the rape joke thing. Not to say that that whole story wasn't ridiculous.

 

[Von Clausewitz]

Spoiler: I did it again

Part 2

0:01 - It is correct that space is a dark. However, as they are moving inside the solar system and from Earth towards Jupiter, at least one side of the ship should be illuminated. Except they are moving through the shadow of a planet right in that instance. *ding*

0:10 - Acting! *ding*

1:00 - For some reason I will sound incredibly smug for my upcoming dialogue. *ding*

2:30 - *gnid*

3:15 - Heroic comic book reviewer with own battle-space-ship is once again depressed about how awesome his personal wish-fulfillment is. *ding*

3:30 - This is for my Social Justice Fans. *ding*

4:50 - They are not already flying at top speed? *ding*

4:55 - Flyby sound in vacuum. *ding*

6:29 - Okay, that was pretty funny. *gnid*

7:15 - Wacky mad scientist is wacky, for the reason of wackyness. And because he had to be written out. *ding*

7:30 - Detects readings without having any actual readings to read. *ding*

7:51 - *gnid*

8:10 - "Not at liberty to say."-Cliche. Also why isn't he at the liberty to say, when the continuation of this mission obviously hinges on that? *ding*

8:10 - ...and why didn't he tell them in the first place what is really going on? It's not like they are now stuck out there, or as if the way back home would take months and they could say something: "Well before we get back into cryo-sleep we could take a look." No, the way back to earth only takes hours and they can be back home in time for dinner and an evening of Netflix. *ding*

8:50 - All of this could have been explained easily beforehand is now only brought up to generate false tension. *ding*

9:20 - Well that sounds and looks surprisingly "Star Trek: First Contact" *ding*

9:30 - Ship is now lit from all sides. *ding*

9:40 - ...or you are using consoles without any displays. *ding*

11:15 - Well yes, but assuming they destroy you right before you are boarding them, they would be caught in the explosion or debris they cause by blowing you up. *ding*

11:20 - ...except they attack with cheap After Effects, of course. *ding*

11:45 - Red lights indicate "evil". *ding*

12:00 - *monotone* Oh my god the tension of this space battle is killing me... *ding*

12:10 - We call it "Force Wall" and not "Shields", just so you are reminded what this movie is named after. *ding*

13:30 - Obvious Villain is obvious. Also, Comic Book Reviewer who knows and owns tons comics he could use as inspiration for new villain, is reusing the same old evil robot twin villain. *ding* Also, Doug Walker Narciscissm Bonus for playing the Hero and the Villain in your own movie. *ding*

13:49 - This shot is way out of focus. And it is just Linkara in front of a wall. They couldn't just redo this shot? *ding*

14:00 - Discount SHODAN insults. *ding*

14:10 - Needless Exposition! *ding*

14:25 - Magic! Scince! No Explanation needed! *ding*

14:28 - Dramatically talking to no one in particular. *ding*

14:39 -

*ding*
15:30 - I will kill you right away... right after my big villain speech! *ding*

15:52 - Angry Joe realises in what kind of movie he is in. *ding*

16:08 - "Only my hated for you kept me going."-Cliche *ding*

16:24 - Linkara perfectly mimics the audience. *ding*

16:38 - All you need to turn humans into drones is some marker. Basically you can control every friend of yours, you ever drew a penis on while he was passed out drunk. Also as I said, First Contact. *ding*

17:10 - Death by red face paint. *ding*
(51+31=82)

 

[A Random]

What's with the 2:30 and 3:30 events on your list?

 

[Von Clausewitz]

What's with the 2:30 and 3:30 events on your list?

2:30 is Brad being awesome. / 3:30 Belonged in Quotes, it's about Linkara commenting about women in scanty clad battle armor.

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

I love Brad's little snort after making a joke denying doing cocaine.

Seriously, Brad and Nash are the only plusses this thing has going for it.

 

[Jewelsmakerguy]

Okay, after hearing Mechakara's (admittedly cliche) speech. I can't help but root for him. Yet I know he's going to lose because Lewis can't write drama for shit.

Also, is it just me, or did the CGI get even worse in this part?

 

[Long Sun]

I also love lupa reflecting the audience want to beat up 90's kids also she sounds super real when she says "why don't I Know any normal people"

 

[MarvinTheParanoidAndroid]

Do Spoony and Linkara still have a bromance?

Yes, just an hour before the premiere of the movie, Linkara was modding Spoony's chat during a livestream of Fallout 4. I was there to capture this:

The second part starts off pretty strong, I will admit, with an actual establishing shot of the ship! & they even had the foresight to be quick about so as to not draw lots and lots of attention to how poor the CGI is.

Then there's the very obvious green screen at 0:18. You can literally see the green screen appear through her hair. This is a big reason why you want to use higher definition cameras, because the chroma key compositing won't work nearly as well on a smaller aspect ratio. Speaking of green screening, so much for having a real set, Lewis.

Speaking of the set, the whole thing looks like it's made out of styrofoam spray painted with shades of green and grey. How much money went into this "set" exactly? Look at the way the sets were cut, they all have this wavy curve to the outer rims. This set is so shitty.

By the way, I've noticed that he added subtitles to the video but it's that shitty audio-to-text bullshit. What's the point of having subtitles if you're not gonna do it properly? What a lazy asshole.

3:07: Don't think I don't notice what you're actually getting at here, Lewis. I've noticed it since the trailer. You're half-ass asking your audience why it is that you still have to review comic books & why your fans can't just be content to watching your shitty storylines. That pretty much tells me that doing reviews was always just about getting your foot in the door from the beginning so that you could eventually completely transition to constantly emulating the Power Rangers.

By the way, I've actually noticed that ever since they got onto the set of the spaceship that they've been using a camera that has DSLR, especially at 6:08, which means that yes, they, at this point, actually started using Nash's camera. I don't know why they didn't just start using it from the very beginning but whatever, let's just assume that they began filming before the other actors arrived or that Lewis was too retarded to just wait to gain access to superior equipment.

While I'm on this topic, you know how much a DSLR camera costs to buy? Nash's was a budget purchase of $600.00 & that was like two years ago. You mean to tell me that Lewis couldn't afford a $600.00 camera on a $64,000.00 budget? Not to mention the Patreon funding & ad revenue he makes. What a fucking cheapskate.

Honestly, Nash is the only thing about this movie that's making me laugh at this moment. What a fucking godsend to this travesty of a movie. By the way, it's very obvious whenever they switch back to Linkara's shittier equipment, such as the jump cut to Linksano at 6:55. Look how flat & murky that footage is. By the way, Nash's camera shoots at 1080p, this means that they downgraded the definition of the better footage to match Linkara's cheap-ass setup because doing it in the opposite way of blowing up the 720p footage to match the superior 1080p footage would've made the 720p segments look even worse than they already do.

Again, this movie had the better half of a hundred-grand for its budget.

I know I can't move on from the camera spergery but you know what? If Linkara bought a more expensive camera, he could continue using it in his reviews like what James Rolfe did with the equipment he bought for his feature length movie. What a missed opportunity for a permanent upgrade for future videos.

7:24 Oh my gawd, look at the ripples Angry Jose is putting on the "control panel" as he touches it. So much for a touch screen. It's literally transparent sheet of plastic, not even a good, hardy thick panel. This set looks like it could be wrecked by a toddler with a wiffle bat. How much do you wanna bet that this set will never get used again or better yet that it does continue being used for future videos & it gradually falls apart to the point where Linkara does another charity drive for himself to get a replacement set funded?

God, they really did film this like a soap opera. The camera is never moved to focus on a character while they speak unless they're out of the frame, in which case it just alternates between the two shots. Oh, funny thing about DSLR, it's designed to blur out people not being focused on; Linkara never changes the camera's focus to spotlight a character. You'll notice this especially at 8:25 where Poiio is out of focus but Angry Joe is in focus but AJ has no dialog so there's no reason to take special care to record his reactions.

Also, I love how at 11:16 Vyce's flagship, something that was used for multiverse conquest, is getting its ass kicked by a NASA ship with garbage welded to the outside of it. There's even a point where you can clearly see a force field blocking out Linkara's returning fire but Linkara's ship is getting butt-fucked by a ship that shouldn't even have weapons.

Why are the control panels blowing up and throwing sparks at everyone? If they're being broken, wouldn't they just lose power? Why is Vyce's ship so shitty that it can't accomplish the same task as a fly-by-night upgrade to an already inferior piece of technology?

13:49: Did they just not check to see if the actor was out of focus or not? Why didn't they reshoot this after looking at the footage? What's a retake?

I also like how they restored a villain that's had its ass kicked like three different times. Once during the first twenty or so episodes of the series, again when he's restored by Vyce and again in To Boldly Flee.

14:41: Just look at those "cybernetics", it's literally been sharpied onto her fucking face. Mechakara has actual fucking prosthetics, they're fake as Hell but they exist. Who was in charge of fucking makeup? Lewis is friends with Nash, which means he has ties with Tara Deenihan who has a background in movie makeup.

I'm now convinced that Lewis shoved the grand majority of the money into his wallet; cheap ass sets, using other people's equipment, CGI he always got for free, almost none of what he's using cost him anything.

 

[Von Clausewitz]

Honestly, Nash is the only thing about this movie that's making me laugh at this moment. What a fucking godsend to this travesty of a movie

I also love Brad in this, you can clearly see that he isn't giving a single shit and has a blast. He is the other enjoyable thing in this movie.

You mean to tell me that Lewis couldn't afford a $600.00 camera on a $64,000.00 budget

I am still not sure where all the money went. Perhaps paying all those Ö-grade internet celebrities to make an appearance, as well as paying for their travel expenses and accommodating them for the duration of the filming?

It can't be anything else, because:
The cameras are shit. The sets are cheap or filmed inside a basement. The lighting is abysmal. The only 'real set' is the Styrofoam/Wooden one in the ship and the most expensive on that one is probably the paint - if you know where to get your materials cheap. Some guy with a render-program and some know-how can slap these 3D scenes together in a few days (I believe even I could do this, given some time to spare).

If Linkara bought a more expensive camera, he could continue using it in his reviews like what James Rolfe did with the equipment he bought for his feature length movie.

Or, well, a set of proper light screens. I couldn't tell if his ship was a set or a green-screened scene, since the quality of this movie is so shitty and everything is just so dark. If I didn't know it better, I would say that they build the ship-set, took pictures and then green-screened it for... reasons.

 

[Bugaboo]

I'd suggest watching the AT4W movie on Kiwi Movie night but I think we'd all cringe so hard it would be mass suicide like Jonestown

 

[Von Clausewitz]

I'd suggest watching the AT4W movie on Kiwi Movie night but I think we'd all cringe so hard it would be mass suicide like Jonestown

What is this wondrous and intriguing sounding event you speak of?

 

[Bugaboo]

What is this wondrous and intriguing sounding event you speak of?

There's a thread about it in off topic right now

 

[Sanae Kochiya]

Considering that this movie is being highlighted by CA and has so many bloody producers, it's probably got some backing from the parent company. I'm genuinely wondering where Lewis spent all of this fucking money.

I honestly wouldn't be surprised if it all went to some mint edition copy of Action Comics #1.

Also, while a AT4W movie would be cringey as fuck, I'd be up for riffing it with the Kiwis. Even if we just all kill ourselves by the end of the first act.

 

[Jewelsmakerguy]

God, they really did film this like a soap opera. The camera is never moved to focus on a character while they speak unless they're out of the frame, in which case it just alternates between the two shots. Oh, funny thing about DSLR, it's designed to blur out people not being focused on; Linkara never changes the camera's focus to spotlight a character. You'll notice this especially at 8:25 where Poiio is out of focus but Angry Joe is in focus but AJ has no dialog so there's no reason to take special care to record his reactions.

I also noticed that there's an attempted camera pane near the beginning that moves pretty robotically.

This makes me wonder if the concept of a smooth tracking shot is foreign to either Lewis or the person operating the camera for that one shot (it's at the five minute mark for anyone wondering).

 

[A Random]

I am still not sure where all the money went. Perhaps paying all those Ö-grade internet celebrities to make an appearance, as well as paying for their travel expenses and accommodating them for the duration of the filming?

Yeah, I'm willing to agree that the problem is that Channel Awesome is either filled with greedy fucks or broke greedy fucks, seeing as how Linkara personally whined in public about how people using Adblock on him were stealing money. And you can definitely believe Linkara would be willing to pay himself off of that budget because he's director, producer and main actor for like half the roles.

So sure, he spent 40k on the actors. But if he was gonna hire Nash anyway, couldn't he have hired his camera from the start? What's his problem?

[Also because I'm a jerk, have the AdBlock video reviewed by someone else. Again.]

 

[JU 199]

Again, this movie had the better half of a hundred-grand for its budget.

Why didn't he just rent a damn camera? There's plenty of services you can loan a 5DMkII or MkIII from, including lenses.

 

[MarvinTheParanoidAndroid]

Why didn't he just rent a damn camera? There's plenty of services you can loan a 5DMkII or MkIII from, including lenses.

Excellent point. He apparently has enough ties to get animatronics 'n shit like that so it's not like he just wouldn't know how. Besides, if the rumors are true, Doug could've just given Lewis one of the many cameras he stole from the people who rented space in his run down studio.

 

[Somar]

I think I got a new slogan for Channel Awesome.
"Channel Awesome where we take your money and don't do jack shit to improve our quality with it!"