4/2/2022 - Guntfest - Killstream KingPin - Ralph's Bowling Tournament - Gunt hosted a Bowling Tournament in Dallas, TX on April 2th.

[FFinfo]

It's $65. I don't know why you guys keep posting that $125 figure but I've seen it like 100+ times on KF, other forums, image boards and chats for a couple of weeks now. Am I missing something? I did my own research and the tickets are $65.
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If you want to spend money on a circus, the Gathering of the Juggalos only costs $190 and it's 3 nights and four days of all the faygo, drugs, and fat women you could ever want. Come to think of it... @Null just in case your summer's looking glum.

 

[Fivehead]

I don't recommend you spend $125 over a ticket that's also acts as a trap of your life. He'll ruin your life for real.

I feel like I'm taking crazy pills. I went as far as typing in my goddamn credit card number and the tickets are clearly $65... not $125.

 

[3-2-1836]

$125 I think. It's a waste of your money and if Ralph finds out, he'll dox you and try to ruin your real life career. I'd recommend against it. Spend that $125 on I don't know, anything else.

How he's gonna ruin my career when my career is in a far more degenerate field?

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Yo, shoutout to the person in this thread that cynically predicted that Gunt was going to put a bed in the back of his pick-up for Pantsu on their way to Dallas because he literally just said on tonight's Killstream that he was going to do exactly that.

Holy fuck, that’s me. I’d say it’s time to play the lottery but Ethan being an abusive POS is fairly predictable. Is it bad that I’m liking him more for being such a cunt to Meigh? She deserves it.

VIP tix are $125, includes a meet-and-greet with Ethan and an autographed ear of corn.

 

[instythot]

How he's gonna ruin my career when my career is in a far more degenerate field?

More degenerate career than a Killstream host? I didn't know we had any jizz moppers for KKK owned gay peepshows on the forum

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

How much do these tickets cost, I might go if I have nothing better to do

Dude, just show up the night of the event with $10 cash and they will let you in and you won’t get doxed. They will be desperate to get some bodies in the door.

 

[MoeChotto]

Dude, just show up the night of the event with $10 cash and they will let you in and you won’t get doxed. They will be desperate to get some bodies in the door.

Yeah I have a feeling if Ralph can't get a big number of attendees the manager's not gonna close the entire bowling alley for him, but on the other hand it could just be a reservation outside of peak hours so they'll shut down the place for a couple of hours. I think if Ralph tries to do a show from the bowling alley he's gonna burn through all his comped private time and he'll have to get married in public with random people bowling in the background.

I'm just laughing imagining JLP slurring through "I now pronounce you—" *CRASH* "STEEEEEEERIKE!"

 

[Don'tAnalizeMeBro!]

I feel like I'm taking crazy pills. I went as far as typing in my goddamn credit card number and the tickets are clearly $65... not $125.

I'd advise anyone going use a a burner credit card like the kind of AmEx cards you can get at the grocery store or a secure credit card. Unless they take PayPal. Might even still use it through PayPal since we know Ralph would have thrown his subscribers under the bus had it not been for Gator.

 

[Weeb Slinger]

A Bowling Alley Wedding (Somewhere down in Dallas Way)

By Mandy Lynn Morris

Well my boyfriend says to me:
“Now that you're in a family way,
there's something I wanna ask you
an' I hope you won't say “neigh”
I've been maxing out your credit cards
just so that I can pay
for a bowing alley wedding
somewhere down in Dallas way”

“Now in your state you can't fly there
an' your can't ride in my truck
but I did some digging round online
and boy are you in luck
There's a Greyhound bound for Texas
and it only takes a day
from Richmond to a bowling alley
down in Dallas Way”

When we pulled up at the strip mall
a doorman blocked my way
said: “One-hundred dollar cover charge
is what you gotta to pay”
They're smoking up a storm inside,
the alawgs held at bay
from my bowling alley wedding
somewhere down in Dallas way

Well the groom runs up to me
an' says: “You got here, now don't dally
want my hangers-on to witness
when I take you up the alley
My friend Dick's been ordained
and he's flown here from L.A.
to officiate our bowling wedding
down in Dallas Way”

Now my husband says “I got some news
but don't get too excited
There's a honeymoon in Vegas
but I'm afraid you're not invited”
There's no white dress
no three-tiered cake
no bridesmaids
no bouquet
just a bowing alley wedding
somewhere down in Dallas way

 

[Iamthatis]

Ethan Ralph is going to throw his 8 months pregnant Bitch on a mattress in his truck bed. Drive to the hood in Dallas Texas to marry her in a seedy bowling alley surrounded by strippers and internet spergs. Ethans life sounds like an episode of squidbillies. I can’t wait for this wedding.

 

[WhimsicalTrolli]

A Bowling Alley Wedding (Somewhere down in Dallas Way)

By Mandy Lynn Morris

Well my boyfriend says to me:
“Now that you're in a family way,
there's something I wanna ask you
an' I hope you won't say “neigh”
I've been maxing out your credit cards
just so that I can pay
for a bowing alley wedding
somewhere down in Dallas way”

“Now in your state you can't fly there
an' your can't ride in my truck
but I did some digging round online
and boy are you in luck
There's a Greyhound bound for Texas
and it only takes a day
from Richmond to a bowling alley
down in Dallas Way”

When we pulled up at the strip mall
a doorman blocked my way
said: “One-hundred dollar cover charge
is what you gotta to pay”
They're smoking up a storm inside,
the alawgs held at bay
from my bowling alley wedding
somewhere down in Dallas way

Well the groom runs up to me
an' says: “You got here, now don't dally
want my hangers-on to witness
when I take you up the alley
My friend Dick's been ordained
and he's flown here from L.A.
to officiate our bowling wedding
down in Dallas Way”

Now my husband says “I got some news
but don't get too excited
There's a honeymoon in Vegas
but I'm afraid you're not invited”
There's no white dress
no three-tiered cake
no bridesmaids
no bouquet
just a bowing alley wedding
somewhere down in Dallas way

Nice shanty, I want to recuirt you to the shanties without panties thread, you can find and post more shanties. You got a gift, young shantywan.

 

[Sexy Potoo]

Assuming this event actually happens and Da Gunt does drive to Dallas and goes to a bowling alley:
What are the chances that somebody shows up to this event wearing a corn outfit?

If the event happens, my odds are:
- 10% The event goes as intended. Every guest shows up and doesn't attempt any trolling. All of the autism comes from Ethan and those caught in his orbit
- 30% A dedicated A-log shows up in a corn suit/Metokur hat/Flag of Portugal shirt. This A-log is let in by the underpaid bowling alley employees and Da Gunt tard rages on sight. The event is canceled.
- 20% A-log from above shows up. But isn't let in by staff under Da Gunt's instructions. Da Gunt still goes to twitter to bitch about trolling.
- 40% A-Log is stealthy. Dressing normally or in a Killstream shirt. Waits until Da Gunt proposes to the pregnant horse pedo before he launches his 400 IQ trolling plan of taking off his shirt to reveal a Kiwi Farms/Corn/Portugal t-shirt underneath and screams "Adrienne Blair won!"

What are your predictions?

 

[Lincoln A-log]

Assuming this event actually happens and Da Gunt does drive to Dallas and goes to a bowling alley:
What are the chances that somebody shows up to this event wearing a corn outfit?

If the event happens, my odds are:
- 10% The event goes as intended. Every guest shows up and doesn't attempt any trolling. All of the autism comes from Ethan and those caught in his orbit
- 30% A dedicated A-log shows up in a corn suit/Metokur hat/Flag of Portugal shirt. This A-log is let in by the underpaid bowling alley employees and Da Gunt tard rages on sight. The event is canceled.
- 20% A-log from above shows up. But isn't let in by staff under Da Gunt's instructions. Da Gunt still goes to twitter to bitch about trolling.
- 40% A-Log is stealthy. Dressing normally or in a Killstream shirt. Waits until Da Gunt proposes to the pregnant horse pedo before he launches his 400 IQ trolling plan of taking off his shirt to reveal a Kiwi Farms/Corn/Portugal t-shirt underneath and screams "Adrienne Blair won!"

What are your predictions?

That's a pretty good outlook

I think with his recent blow up/exposure the trolling percentage went up very high

 

[instythot]

Assuming this event actually happens and Da Gunt does drive to Dallas and goes to a bowling alley:
What are the chances that somebody shows up to this event wearing a corn outfit?

If the event happens, my odds are:
- 10% The event goes as intended. Every guest shows up and doesn't attempt any trolling. All of the autism comes from Ethan and those caught in his orbit
- 30% A dedicated A-log shows up in a corn suit/Metokur hat/Flag of Portugal shirt. This A-log is let in by the underpaid bowling alley employees and Da Gunt tard rages on sight. The event is canceled.
- 20% A-log from above shows up. But isn't let in by staff under Da Gunt's instructions. Da Gunt still goes to twitter to bitch about trolling.
- 40% A-Log is stealthy. Dressing normally or in a Killstream shirt. Waits until Da Gunt proposes to the pregnant horse pedo before he launches his 400 IQ trolling plan of taking off his shirt to reveal a Kiwi Farms/Corn/Portugal t-shirt underneath and screams "Adrienne Blair won!"

What are your predictions?

My prediction: event is not broadcast due to embarrassingly low attendance. Gunt will rage about how he can't show off his wedding on the internet because muh ayyylawgs, wedding will actually occur at a more traditional venue, if at all

 

[Truly Rural]

Inb4 April 2.
"The wedding was an obvious April fools joke! These morons thought I was being serious" Type-o-thing

 

[MoeChotto]

Ethan Ralph is going to throw his 8 months pregnant Bitch on a mattress in his truck bed. Drive to the hood in Dallas Texas to marry her in a seedy bowling alley surrounded by strippers and internet spergs. Ethans life sounds like an episode of squidbillies. I can’t wait for this wedding.

I dunno that I'd call the Colony a hood. It's more like if you had a nice-looking prefab suburb and filled it with shoppers lifted out of a Midwestern Walmart on a Wednesday afternoon.

Basically it's the exact kind of place you would imagine two broke white people drowning in debt with a mattress in their truck bed might hold a shotgun wedding at a combination-bowling-alley-dive-bar where the Maid of Honor is the stripper who gives the groom the best lap dance.

 

[Harlan Wick]

What are your predictions?

A safe bet would be that Dick is hit by a car or contracts Ebola or has leg that he "broke" nearly amputated or pretty much any reason to avoid showing up to the shit show.

 

[3-2-1836]

- 30% A dedicated A-log shows up in a corn suit/Metokur hat/Flag of Portugal shirt.

The 2020-2021 Portugal away jersey looks oddly familiar.

 

[oramge cat]

They will both have to be in rental bowling shoes.

LITERAL CLOWN SHOES

 

[AltisticRight]

I feel like I'm taking crazy pills. I went as far as typing in my goddamn credit card number and the tickets are clearly $65... not $125.
View attachment 2977058

Alright, it's $65 then. I just heard it was $125 and "increased to, from $65".
However, if you do consider transit costs and needing a hotel, $65 easily becomes $200.
Not trying to cope, I was wrong.