Jude Valentin / Jude Torres / Judy Valentin / DivineBrujeria / MermaidRoyal / MermaidQueenJude / MerQueenJude - Cancelled Twitch Streaming Clout Chaser, Wannabe Photographer. Cancellation event starting on page 838

[lamp shade]

Jesus Christ, Judy, just accept that you are a woman. She frequently adds “girl” or “she” back “into rotation,” then still gets mad when people refer to her as such.

 

[toilet_rainbow]

Jesus Christ, Judy, just accept that you are a woman. She frequently adds “girl” or “she” back “into rotation,” then still gets mad when people refer to her as such.

Her narcissism demands that she be special in everything, including her gender, despite her being more feminine (well, "feminine" at that weight) than most "cis" women I know. It's more frustrating than amusing at this point because of what a narc bitch slug she is.

 

[PurpleEater]

Oh of fucking COURSE she's now considering adding "girl" back into rotation now that this basic straight woman can no longer capitalize off of being a bitter screeching genderspecial on Twitter.

Also I found her new website text pretty hilarious:

"Hi! My name is Jude and I am a queer latine fat femme, who is motivated by helping other folks step into their own magic and power. All of the aspects of my identity meld into my work, creating a magical experience for me (and also you!)
As a portrait photographer with 5+ years of experience, I use the medium of photography to help you see yourself in a new or different light! Photographs help us grow our self-love, can be a tool in self-affirmation, and can also help us step outside of ourselves in order to find our magic.

Are you ready to make some magic with me?"

also lol:

"Hi! I’m Jude, a New York City-based portrait photographer and creator with 5+ years of experience.

From freezing shoots on the beach to making sure that I look both ways before I step into the street, I am always chasing the magic that calls to me.

Photography is its own form of magic, and I live on the thrill of materializing what’s already inside of you. Helping you claim your power, one shot at a time."

This is such purple prose word vomit that says absolutely nothing. Let the work speak for itself, Jude.

 

[JambledUpWords]

Spoiler: Massive Instagram Dump

 

[idomyfoodbucketlist]

Oh of fucking COURSE she's now considering adding "girl" back into rotation now that this basic straight woman can no longer capitalize off of being a bitter screeching genderspecial on Twitter.

Also I found her new website text pretty hilarious:

"Hi! My name is Jude and I am a queer latine fat femme, who is motivated by helping other folks step into their own magic and power. All of the aspects of my identity meld into my work, creating a magical experience for me (and also you!)
As a portrait photographer with 5+ years of experience, I use the medium of photography to help you see yourself in a new or different light! Photographs help us grow our self-love, can be a tool in self-affirmation, and can also help us step outside of ourselves in order to find our magic.

Are you ready to make some magic with me?"

also lol:

"Hi! I’m Jude, a New York City-based portrait photographer and creator with 5+ years of experience.

From freezing shoots on the beach to making sure that I look both ways before I step into the street, I am always chasing the magic that calls to me.

Photography is its own form of magic, and I live on the thrill of materializing what’s already inside of you. Helping you claim your power, one shot at a time."

This is such purple prose word vomit that says absolutely nothing. Let the work speak for itself, Jude.

Can you imagine paying someone as self-obsessed as Jude for any service at all, let alone one that is supposed to be 100% about the customer!? Her new website text is all about what she wants out of the experience. She literally says 'a magical experience for me - ALSO you' ... the customer is an after-thought! I could absolutely see her throwing a fit because they don't want to do 'her vision.' I could also see her decide to dox a customer on her social media because they were such a meanie-bo-beanie to her.

Jude, honey, when people are paying you for photography it isn't about what you want out of it.

 

[Angry New Ager]

Her move to a new Insta account is very revealing; it'll tell us how many (or, rather, few) followers she actually has. She's currently at 155, which, for somebody who has 13,000+ followers on her Mermaid Royal account, is abysmal.

I'm sure we'll soon see her pestering her followers to promote her so she can reach follower goals ("I'd love to have 500 followers by the end of this month. Let's make it happen!"; "I want to start spring with 1000 followers, and am vibing on that.") Because Jude will always be Jude, and show her true colors sooner rather than later.

 

[stupid frog]

why couldnt she change the account name

 

[Angry New Ager]

why couldnt she change the account name

You can only change your Insta username twice. Before she was MermaidRoyal, she was MermaidQueenJude, and maybe she was something else before that.

The name @divinebrujeria already belonged to an existing account. Whether Jude grabbed it early for herself, or somebody else namesquatted it and she had to appeal to Insta to get it, I don't know. But you can't change your username to that of an existing account, even if you own that account; Insta won't merge accounts.

So she would have had to delete the @divinebrujeria account, and wait for the username to become available again, with the risk that one of her haters would grab it first. So, with no other options, she moved accounts.

And here's where I point out that as a Latina, she could have used the Spanish version—@divinabrujeria. But no, that's feminine usage! For full nonbinary cred she should have gone for @divinxbrujerix—or even @divinebrujerix. But I think that's a step too far, even for Jude, whose current profile doesn't even contain her pronouns, and describes her as "femme."

So a mashup of non-gendered English adjective/feminine Spanish noun is the best her stupid little brain could think up. Sort of like how everyone was supposed to refer to Jude, the Mermaid Queen, or Mermaid Royal, as a nonbinary "they." Logical consistency? You're not getting it from La Babosa.

 

[Daddy's Little Kitten]

And here's where I point out that as a Latina, she could have used the Spanish version—@divinabrujeria.

She could've used @divinxbrujerix for extra woke points!

 

[thejackal]

why couldnt she change the account name

fatuselessgaslightingcunt was taken.

 

[The Cosmic Key]

I love that her entire online persona was so obviously fake, she can shift things over so quickly. Won’t work though, the damage is done and twitter won’t forget.

 

[JambledUpWords]

Spoiler: Instagram Story Dump

 

[JuniperFalls]

"From freezing shoots on the beach to making sure that I look both ways before I step into the street, I am always chasing the magic"

Sounds like her magic powers are weakening. Used to be, she would brag about her magic ability to break a hematite ring after dropping it onto a hard surface multiple times. Now she's bragging about mastering the same basic traffic-safety rule American children are required to learn if they want a passing grade in kindergarten.

 

[vanilla_pepsi_head]

View attachment 2988657View attachment 2988658

Maybe this is just me, but if I'm following someone for their creative work, I sure as hell am not going to continue if it's like 2% actual projects to 98% poorly composed selfies with visible dirt/sweat/tongue/dewlap, "day in the life" of an actual shut in squatting in some octogenarian's poverty apartment, or smoothbrain takes on shit that isn't even tangential to any actual work of theirs I hypothetically like. This could be because I'm too much of a boomer to understand social media properly, but if you're trying to get people to give a shit about your personal life in a creepy parasocial way (as opposed to a "point and laugh from the privacy of an autistic New Zealand exotic bird website" way), you might have an easier time if you pretended to be smart or likable. Narcissism at it's absolute finest (whether clinical or not I don't know, but if it's not, how much more blatant would it have to be?)

 

[Angry New Ager]

"From freezing shoots on the beach to making sure that I look both ways before I step into the street, I am always chasing the magic"

Sounds like her magic powers are weakening. Used to be, she would brag about her magic ability to break a hematite ring after dropping it onto a hard surface multiple times. Now she's bragging about mastering the same basic traffic-safety rule American children are required to learn if they want a passing grade in kindergarten.

I remember when she was always boasting about how two goddesses (presumably Hecate and the Morrigan, though she never specified who, exactly) had "claimed" her as theirs.

Yet she never did any of the things online witchy types do to honor their patron deities. Gods expect their praises to be sung, and sacrifices to be made, and when they give their marching orders, you'd damned well better carry them out. Yet Jude couldn't even name hers, and everybody was just supposed to understand that she was special and chosen, for no other reason than because she's Jude, Magical Witch-Baby. She basically presented herself as an IRL Mary Sue.

 

[Levakt]

Maybe this is just me, but if I'm following someone for their creative work, I sure as hell am not going to continue if it's like 2% actual projects to 98% poorly composed selfies with visible dirt/sweat/tongue/dewlap, "day in the life" of an actual shut in squatting in some octogenarian's poverty apartment, or smoothbrain takes on shit that isn't even tangential to any actual work of theirs I hypothetically like. This could be because I'm too much of a boomer to understand social media properly, but if you're trying to get people to give a shit about your personal life in a creepy parasocial way (as opposed to a "point and laugh from the privacy of an autistic New Zealand exotic bird website" way), you might have an easier time if you pretended to be smart or likable. Narcissism at it's absolute finest (whether clinical or not I don't know, but if it's not, how much more blatant would it have to be?)

It's not just you-- ever since the BLM/Floyd stuff there's been an increasing attitude of "you have to speak up if you have an audience!" among creatives, and many queers are convinced that posting about their crappy lives or sharing selfies is some sort of legitimate activism anyway. I've known a bunch of people like this and none of them have figured out why their account growth slows to a crawl.

 

[rutinacea max]

lookit judy you have a twin! except she's got a couple of years and some pounds on you, and yet your face and neck somehow look fatter

 

[PurpleEater]

Oh good, her dumb new username allows me to download her stories far more easily. The original account was giving me trouble with the software I use.

Jude, what do you mean you want to go on vacation? You basically LIVE on vacation, and even if you went somewhere exotic, it's not like you'd spend any time outside of your overpriced hotel room, anyway.

 

[stupid frog]

oh boy i cant wait to see what judys watching on tv tonight

 

[Diet Coke 4 Life]

I would just like to critique these photos with my non-photographer eyeballs.

Spoiler: Spoilered due to image sizes

Let's start with this one.

Best of the bunch, but it pisses me off that she couldn't bother utilizing photoshop in order to put a fanciful border or something around the image so you wouldn't get that glare of white surrounding it on her IG.

And the more I look at it, in addition to the lighting sperg I've already done on this, now I find myself wishing she'd have fitted the model with ballet flats to hide them. Her feet are just... there. And supremely distracting. She could have blacked them out and zoomed in to focus more on the emergence of the upper body from the black background into which her black dress blends.

And used better light.

Now this fucker.

Judy, why isn't she centered? Why is the backdrop more domineering in this photo than the subject? Why does it look like she's sitting like a fucking toddler with her hand between her legs? Why does it look like she's got a hickey on her breast? Why does your lighting have to suck so much that it makes her mottled flesh on top of her other breast look bruised? Why are her colors so washed out? Why is she supremely saturated? Did you not attempt to fix anything in Photoshop?

Plus, the backdrop is so fucking lazy. A sheet. A wrinkly sheet. Not just falling in natural folds, but actually /wrinkled/. I would be embarrassed to be sat in front of something like that. At least iron the shit before draping it behind your models.

Then have them in a better pose so the shot isn't 60/40 background/subject.

The... actual... fuck?

Lighting once again sucks. Makeup sucks (the blush is so unnatural on her skin tone, and her eyes look almost bruised). Hair sucks (it looks greasy and plastered to her forehead rather than casual and free).

AND SHE'S NOT CENTERED. Seriously, Judy, would it have killed you to drag the photo a few millimeters to the right in order to center the fucking flower crown in frame? That also would've centered the face in frame. The hell.

Not even commenting on the beetus knuckles that should've been fixed in Photoshop by our professional here. Except I just did. Fuckin' top-hat me, bruh.

And finally, this one.

Matte colors, looks like fucking gravel due to the poor mask job, color tone is waaaaay cool and suck. Cuts off most of the model. If it's meant to display the 'hotness' of fat bodies, why is most of the fat body OFF FRAME and HIDDEN BY FLOWERS?

Faaaaaaaail.

TL; DR: Judy sucks at photography and gets me deserving of all the tophats.