Weightlifting for Kiwis - Discussion and support regarding the art of swole

After failing miserably at self imposed exercise programs several times, I have bought a kettlebell. A lady's sized one. I am not a lady.

Am I going to die?
You're supposed to start low and steadily work your way up. I benched 100kg last month, but I started out with just the bar. Same for things like running. Start with a 5 minute run, then run one more minute every day until you can run for 30. Then start running faster because running for longer than 30 minutes is boring as hell.

Also, work out with a friend. No need to motivate yourself to go to the gym if you make it a social thing.
 
After failing miserably at self imposed exercise programs several times, I have bought a kettlebell. A lady's sized one. I am not a lady.

Am I going to die?

One thing that I always try to tell people is that starting a "diet" or "exercise program" is the wrong way of thinking about getting into shape. Why? Because these are things that have a definitive end to them, people think "once I hit my target weight I can stop doing this" and when they do they gain the weight back. You need to look at fitness as your life long hobby, you're going to take the time to do it everyday because it's never going to end. You should try different things until you find exercises that you enjoy doing not just what the latest fad is; if you really enjoy swimming, then swim.

I personally enjoy kettlebell stuff, I have a set of 8, 12, 16, 20, and 24 kilo kettlebells and use them regularly along side with other things. Watch shitloads of videos on form, this is the most important thing. And don't get upset if you just hate kettlebell, it's not for everyone.

You're supposed to start low and steadily work your way up. I benched 100kg last month, but I started out with just the bar. Same for things like running. Start with a 5 minute run, then run one more minute every day until you can run for 30. Then start running faster because running for longer than 30 minutes is boring as hell.

Also, work out with a friend. No need to motivate yourself to go to the gym if you make it a social thing.

This right here, start low and work slow. When starting out you don't need to spend any money on anything. Start your day with pushups, sit ups, squats, and a 20 - 30 minute walk to get your blood pumping and you will start to see weight loss in a matter of weeks.

But the most important thing is that even if you exercise 5 hours a day at full intensity, if you eat like a pig, you'll look like a pig. Change your diet or you'll end up like Ethan Ralph.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: MerriedxReldnahc
One thing that I always try to tell people is that starting a "diet" or "exercise program" is the wrong way of thinking about getting into shape. Why? Because these are things that have a definitive end to them, people think "once I hit my target weight I can stop doing this" and when they do they gain the weight back. You need to look at fitness as your life long hobby, you're going to take the time to do it everyday because it's never going to end. You should try different things until you find exercises that you enjoy doing not just what the latest fad is; if you really enjoy swimming, then swim.

I personally enjoy kettlebell stuff, I have a set of 8, 12, 16, 20, and 24 kilo kettlebells and use them regularly along side with other things. Watch shitloads of videos on form, this is the most important thing. And don't get upset if you just hate kettlebell, it's not for everyone.
I really don't have a number goal, and I'm not looking to lose weight so much as become stronk. I'm out of shape, but not fat. Mostly I want to be stronk enough to not die during the Day of the Rake, or other Minecraft related happenings.

Unfortunately I hate exercise in general. However the kettlebell might actually be what I've been looking for. Small amount of equipment, relatively small number of exercises to learn, short time investment, pretty much full coverage of all the different muscles and such.
 
Unfortunately I hate exercise in general. However the kettlebell might actually be what I've been looking for. Small amount of equipment, relatively small number of exercises to learn, short time investment, pretty much full coverage of all the different muscles and such.
Kettlebells are great for all sorts of exercises, if you're trying to not have a lot of stuff they can take the place of dumbbells for a lot of movements but not everything. I'm not sure what you mean by "Lady's sized" kettlebell, my lightest is 8 kilos/18 lbs and I use that for warming up for certain movements like getups. If the one you have is about that weight that is a good starting point if you are generally out of shape, focus on form like I said before.

DO NOT follow videos from Crossfit instructors, they are mocked for a reason because they do not follow safe form standards. Also, do cardio; gym rats won't do cardio because it adds 20 - 30 minutes onto an already long work out. Their workout would take less time if they actually had stamina.
 
Unfortunately I hate exercise in general. However the kettlebell might actually be what I've been looking for. Small amount of equipment, relatively small number of exercises to learn, short time investment, pretty much full coverage of all the different muscles and such.

Fuck kettlebells IMO, they are just a Toe Rogan meme at this point. I'm not saying they can't be a little effective, but if you 'hate exercise', they aren't gonna fix that. Hit the gym instead, it'll help you to be around others who are disciplined and motivated, that shit will rub off on you and you'll learn to love exercise instead of hating it. I know it can be intimidating for some, but the best people I've ever met have been inside the gym.

Also, do cardio; gym rats won't do cardio because it adds 20 - 30 minutes onto an already long work out. Their workout would take less time if they actually had stamina.
Meh, that's not true, plenty of gym rats at my gym hit the sled, flip tyres and so on and so forth. I think maybe you are mirin' and a little jelly of said 'gym rats'.
 
Cardio, even and some say especially during a gaining phase, is very important and guys who aren't your average gymshark zoomer tard understand that.
It's actually how some of the top guys can just mutate, lean, very quickly. Drugs aside, some do loads of cardio while bulking because protein acts as a signal for your muscles to grow if certain conditions are met through training. So, if you raise your TDEE through low intensity cardio, you can eat more and maintain favorable body composition because you are intaking more food that signals muscle growth through protein and micronutrients. Obviously drugs help a lot, but the theory remains the same.
On kettlebells, I really like training with them as they are a great tool for endurance conditioning and, I think, very fun. Unilateral work like one arm clean and presses with them is also good for a lot of things.
In general with fitness though, people tend to gravitate towards either things they're good at or things they just really enjoy.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Bassomatic
I do want to shit post because A fun B farms, but yes, gains can be made on cardio and good ones. My best was on tren and that kills cardio but well I was dedicated and younger. Aside, I was a monster. Lift a lot doesn't matter these last 20% youll be a beast.

For a super chad super beast who's online and don't read me, cardio is great for heart and unless youre trying to be mr uni hit gym youre heart will thank you and body will down line.
 
I do want to shit post because A fun B farms, but yes, gains can be made on cardio and good ones. My best was on tren and that kills cardio but well I was dedicated and younger. Aside, I was a monster. Lift a lot doesn't matter these last 20% youll be a beast.

For a super chad super beast who's online and don't read me, cardio is great for heart and unless youre trying to be mr uni hit gym youre heart will thank you and body will down line.
lol fucking tren. Classic.
But really, too many dudes think they have to do some special workout shit they saw on TikTok done by some saucy Gymshark teen, instead of just a basic workout that we fucking know works. Squat, bench, deadlift, row, pullup/pulldown, etc, that shit works great but doesn't get the views.
 
lol fucking tren. Classic.
But really, too many dudes think they have to do some special workout shit they saw on TikTok done by some saucy Gymshark teen, instead of just a basic workout that we fucking know works. Squat, bench, deadlift, row, pullup/pulldown, etc, that shit works great but doesn't get the views.
Honestly, yeah everyone like anything wants a cheat fast past, buy 3 lotto tickets earn a billion etc. PEDs have that allure another story another post.

Honestly most faggots in gym could do better off a legit SS plan.

Semi related anyone here does Photoshop?
 
Honestly, yeah everyone like anything wants a cheat fast past, buy 3 lotto tickets earn a billion etc. PEDs have that allure another story another post.

Honestly most faggots in gym could do better off a legit SS plan.

Semi related anyone here does Photoshop?
I do GIMP, because I'm poor.
But bro, these zoomers who are obviously on SARMS or whatever, especially when they have no gainz or bitches, are an epidemic. And they can't even workout in a sensible manner in the first place. These dudes literally out here struggling to squat even one pl8, bragging about the hardcore RAD and MK cycle they're on.
 
  • Feels
Reactions: Bassomatic
I do GIMP, because I'm poor.
But bro, these zoomers who are obviously on SARMS or whatever, especially when they have no gainz or bitches, are an epidemic. And they can't even workout in a sensible manner in the first place. These dudes literally out here struggling to squat even one pl8, bragging about the hardcore RAD and MK cycle they're on.
Hold up bro, let me tell you and I'm not trying to side track political shit etc, are you lifting to be next universe? No you aren't. You're doing you better.

Ignore those faggots. My good career job is less than 100 feet from my good lifts. Suck my asshole if my squats aren't "clean enough" for you.

If you are really needing bulk go GOMAD, but I also like milk lol. Ignore the faggots on tik tok and deep squat.
 
Hold up bro, let me tell you and I'm not trying to side track political shit etc, are you lifting to be next universe? No you aren't. You're doing you better.

Ignore those faggots. My good career job is less than 100 feet from my good lifts. Suck my asshole if my squats aren't "clean enough" for you.

If you are really needing bulk go GOMAD, but I also like milk lol. Ignore the faggots on tik tok and deep squat.
The faggots do give proper juiceheads like us a bad rap though lol.
I really just don’t like the kids thinking that they’ll just be the next Zyzz if they take xyz, while having no idea how the drugs actually work and how to not fuck themselves up with them.
They also tend to scare normal everyday people away from the weights, the fitness industry is terrible.
EDIT: I saw today a noodly Zoomer pull his cutoff singlet down, and proceed to do bent over flies with 10s and try to mog the mirror for about five minutes.
 
Last edited:
  • Feels
Reactions: Bassomatic
The faggots do give proper juiceheads like us a bad rap though lol.
I really just don’t like the kids thinking that they’ll just be the next Zyzz if they take xyz, while having no idea how the drugs actually work and how to not fuck themselves up with them.
They also tend to scare normal everyday people away from the weights, the fitness industry is terrible.
Yeah and honestly, well I wont get mad red pill or blog faggot, but I was mad scared of PEDs till my friend in a good college got me to try (I played high school sports) we ran older gen gear he was on way more.

Frankly as much I like PEDs I'll NEVER tell anyone who's not a beast to touch em.

More than half the orals will still eat your liver, and you get 0 gains. Industry is bad man. I'm not a med doc and never push, don't do PEDs till you "need" em.

I posted before I'm not a huge guy I ripped OLP lifts and wasn't sexy walking to school and back.
 
Yeah and honestly, well I wont get mad red pill or blog faggot, but I was mad scared of PEDs till my friend in a good college got me to try (I played high school sports) we ran older gen gear he was on way more.

Frankly as much I like PEDs I'll NEVER tell anyone who's not a beast to touch em.

More than half the orals will still eat your liver, and you get 0 gains. Industry is bad man. I'm not a med doc and never push, don't do PEDs till you "need" em.

I posted before I'm not a huge guy I ripped OLP lifts and wasn't sexy walking to school and back.
I started a little over half a year ago with very low doses of test and experiments with preworkout orals mostly, and while I wouldn’t recommend it I grew very well. But I have clear goals, a clear plan on how to achieve them, the means to follow through, etc.
But that’s because this is my passion, I really love the gym and weightlifting in particular, so I would never tell someone else to use PEDs as it’s a very personal choice that should really be thought about hard.
PEDs aside, there’s still plenty of great places online or in books to learn the basics of fitness that really isn’t that hard for the average person who just wants to be a bit healthier. Scooby, Buff Dudes, John Meadows, etc, there’s still good stuff out there.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Bassomatic
My dude, good and you sound like sane and smart. I just don't like saying jump to PEDs till you're already set. You sound like a king who wanted more and cool. A good user.

For real I'm really happy for you. Meme aside aside youre good list of people I think you need to add Mark Rippletoe.

Pre tren I was in my mid 20s and hitting low 400s in deads at 140s while living in a library lol.

Aside all of it, lift big lift to be better a person friend.
 
gym rats won't do cardio because it adds 20 - 30 minutes onto an already long work out. Their workout would take less time if they actually had stamina.
I do strength on alternate days, so cardio day in between that. Anyway, I already lift less than most of the guys here that have lifted for years. But I experienced that I got stronger in my lifts after starting cardio.
More than half the orals will still eat your liver, and you get 0 gains. Industry is bad man.
Is there any orals that doesn't kill your liver, and what are PEDs?
Just like reading and learning about the topic, even if I don't plan to take it in the near future.
 
I do 30-45 minutes of cardio as warmup before my strength training. Works shockingly well. I'm pretty much at my second wind by the time I start lifting and it doesn't negatively affect my squats and deadlifts nearly as much as one might expect. If anything the second wind might be helping me perform them better.

And lol at needing performance enhancing drugs. You can get more than far enough natty without risking drug related problems down the line by just doing things properly and eating right. No clue why you'd risk it unless you're competing for medals or something.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Vingle
Back