4/2/2022 - Guntfest - Killstream KingPin - Ralph's Bowling Tournament - Gunt hosted a Bowling Tournament in Dallas, TX on April 2th.

[George Cuckzunian]

But the real reason to go to Texas is Daddy Dax, Ralph doesn't care if they're actually married or not.

TWIST ENDING: DAX AND RALPH GET MARRIED!

 

[UCantCCPMe]

Let me set the scene for you all.....

There's Ralph, feeling a smug sense of satisfaction after finally felting those kiwifags at the karen farms. Driving along in his big red truck, his horsewife posted up in the back, he speeds towards Vegas well above the limit, both speed and B.A.C. Suddenly, Señor Porco hears a noise from the bed of the truck. He looks in the rearview mirror and the image he sees moments before having a heart attack and crashing the truck into the nearest ditch is

 

[ddlloo]

He STILL hasn't updated the information on his website. No mention of the wedding or even of Meigh attending.

 

[BlueArmedDevil]

TWIST ENDING: DAX AND RALPH GET MARRIED!

Who catches the bouquet?

 

[AncientPhosphur]

Guys stop making fun of the white trash bowling wedding. Piggy brought it up on stream with Daddy Dick and he’s very upset.

We should celebrate it as a day of Union between gunt and horse.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

Guys stop making fun of the white trash bowling wedding. Piggy brought it up on stream with Daddy Dick and he’s very upset.

We should celebrate it as a day of Union between gunt and horse.

Ralph has made fun of his own wedding better than any a-log could dream of by holding it the Thrift Giant Bowling Alley, selling tickets and creating a terribly done wrasslin promo flier to shill ticket sales for it.

Nobody owns Ralph better than himself.

 

[Whimpy]

Who catches the bouquet?

The "bouquet" will be rolled down the bowling lane for a S-S-S-S-S-SRTIKE.

 

[break these cuffs]

Nobody owns Ralph better than himself.

The truth most aylawgs will never understand because they're too consumed by autism and hatred.

 

[ANiggaNamedElmo]

I still want something like this to happen:

 

[Christorian X]

I still want something like this to happen:

That place actually looks way more high end than where Ralph is going...

 

[Particle Bored]

From a quick search, Texas has a 72 hour waiting period. The funny thing is VA has no waiting period (but they seem to not offer courthouse weddings in most counties) There would also be no waiting period in DC or WV, both of which do offer courthouse ceremonies.

So if he flashes a license at the wedding, someone's gonna need to be following up with the county records to be sure he didnt renege before the waiting period expires.

 

[ANiggaNamedElmo]

So if he flashes a license at the wedding, someone's gonna need to be following up with the county records to be sure he didnt renege before the waiting period expires.

I believe he said that it was just for show and that they would have a private ceremony at a later date.

EDIT: In other words, never.

 

[Coily]

Imagine his reaction the day Mr. Ralph discovers wrestling is theatre and coreography.

 

[Fivehead]

I'm really tempted to go. But if I order tickets Ralph and anyone who hacks Ralph will have my dox. I wouldn't try to do a project veritas or cause a scene, just be a fly on the wall. Plus I'd get a kick out of meeting Mersh, who I unironically like in the same way one likes their crazy redneck/wigger cousin who is a pathological liar but fun and actually does come through for you in a pinch now and then.

This:

Buy a Visa gift card and have the ticket mailed to the bowling alley.

If any Aylogs live in the area and were so inclined, it looks like you could easily use a Visa/MasterCard gift card from the drug store and some fake info to buy a ticket. It honestly might be worth the price of admission to witness this shit show, especially if you secretly film some of it.

 

[Bonanza Jellybean]

I believe he said that it was just for show and that they would have a private ceremony at a later date.

EDIT: In other words, never.

I don't think he said this was just for show, because he mentioned that it would mean they were married before their kid was born. He did mention a private ceremony but I think the idea behind that was to have a respectable ceremony for her family.

Either way he won't legally marry her. Unwed mothers get more gibs.

 

[ANiggaNamedElmo]

I don't think he said this was just for show, because he mentioned that it would mean they were married before their kid was born. He did mention a private ceremony but I think the idea behind that was to have a respectable ceremony for her family.

Either way he won't legally marry her. Unwed mothers get more gibs.

That's what I meant. It's a spectacle regardless and he can point to it and say "See! My daughter wasn't born out of wedlock!" or whatever mental gymnastics he's using.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

That's what I meant. It's a spectacle regardless and he can point to it and say "See! My daughter wasn't born out of wedlock!" or whatever mental gymnastics he's using.

But unless he gets a license and real minister/JOP his daughter will be born out of wedlock. The law doesn’t recognize fake ass “commitment ceremonies” or bowling for dollar wedding wrasslin.

It’s like how you can’t be a little bit pregnant, you can’t be sort of married. It’s either a binding legal marriage recorded in the public record or it’s nothing.

I figure Ralph will just use the current standard for white trash “married” which is changing his Facebook relationship status to it and nothing more.

 

[ANiggaNamedElmo]

But unless he gets a license and real minister/JOP his daughter will be born out of wedlock. The law doesn’t recognize fake ass “commitment ceremonies” or bowling for dollar wedding wrasslin.

It’s like how you can’t be a little bit pregnant, you can’t be sort of married. It’s either a binding legal marriage recorded in the public record or it’s nothing.

I figure Ralph will just use the current standard for white trash “married” which is changing his Facebook relationship status to it and nothing more.

Essentially. It's kind of the same situation where his name isn't on Xander's birth certificate but still insists on saying he's his son despite it being a paper abortion and his non-commitment to the paternity test.

 

[Particle Bored]

Essentially. It's kind of the same situation where his name isn't on Xander's birth certificate but still insists on saying he's his son despite it being a paper abortion and his non-commitment to the paternity test.

Eh. If it's biologically his, it's his son (I havent followed this all closely enough to know how much doubt there may be to his actual paternity). The paperwork doesn't change that basic fact. If Faith gets a husband that adopts the kid, that guy can say it's his son, but it's not like he could sue Gunt for saying the same.

 

[Christorian X]

But unless he gets a license and real minister/JOP his daughter will be born out of wedlock. The law doesn’t recognize fake ass “commitment ceremonies” or bowling for dollar wedding wrasslin.

It’s like how you can’t be a little bit pregnant, you can’t be sort of married. It’s either a binding legal marriage recorded in the public record or it’s nothing.

I figure Ralph will just use the current standard for white trash “married” which is changing his Facebook relationship status to it and nothing more.

That would be an amazing Dax scheme, to hire a real JOP to show up and get Ralph shitfaced and have him sign the cert.