Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[The Valeyard]

Disney released a new video on their Disney Parks channel about Galactic Starcruiser which features Matt "Porgcuck" Martin talking about the story of the Halcyon.

Thank you to @The Gangster Computer for providing me a copy of the video for archival.

 

[Creep3r]

I always figured Humans might not be a majority of the galactic population but they were a plurality.

Spoiler: Despite being only 13%...

A precise number or population statistic for the galactic population as a whole was never officially given outside of mentioning that the known parts of the galaxy (like 20% or so) had over roughly 100 quadrillion beings in it (humans and aliens) without counting stuff like the Unknown Regions or Wild Space, so it was probably for the best that they never really go into detail or precise numbers further than that since that usually becomes the source of incredible autism slapfights and history sperging.

The most you were given was population info on specific planets. For example, outside of the hundreds of planets with population info revealed, half of them usually had humans as the "60%" or "100%" of a planet's population (even on alien ones) more commonly than other species, and when that wasn't the case, almost numerous planets had a human presence, either 20, 10 or 1% and when they didn't they would just say "humans and other" or just "other".

However even these statistics were never precise and would change on occasion, even featuring disclaimers at times, like saying they were made from a biased human or alien perspective or due to ignorance or that it was because of inaccurate historical tampering as was the case with contradictions caused by clone wars media like Filoni Wars or related material as seen in the excerpt below:

That way writers wouldn't feel restricted in what they could do creatively or avoid any discrepancies, like forgetting the species or planet grid of a planet. Essential Atlas for example made a lot of mistakes like this which were quickly brought up in the online supplement, or especially when some material tried to find compromises with Filoni Wars which was better off being ignored or only used for superficial info like Jedi Prince was.

Still, based on the most recurring info, half or almost half of the known planets had a large human presence, while the other half were alien-dominated. So humans and near-humans were the most numerous and widespread out of any species, but all aliens when lumped together (all species of non-humans and twileks) seemed to be far more numerous than humans in number, mostly outside the Core Worlds where humans (and partially duros) reigned supreme, but even then they weren't as organized as humans which gave humans an edge in some parts.

Outside of this, some guy on stack exchange once tried to make a rough population measure based on what species is represented most by named characters on wookieepedo, so I wouldn't really put much stock into that statistic.

Now with that out of the way...

"Say Jimbo, did you know that despite being only 13% of the galactic population, twi'leks are responsible for 40% of all crimes?" "Or that despite muuns and toydarians being only 4% of the population, they control over 80% of the galactic banks and commerce?" "Meanwhile [[[hutts]]] who are only 3% of the population are behind 50% of all crimes along with controlling the muuns, toydarians and the twi'lek slave trade." "Now ain't that just quacking crazy?" inb4 some sperg takes this space wars meme statistic seriously

Edit:

Disney released a new video on their Disney Parks channel about Galactic Starcruiser which features Matt "Porgcuck" Martin talking about the story of the Halcyon.
View attachment 3002437

Thank you to @The Gangster Computer for providing me a copy of the video for archival.

Happy to be of service.

 

[Sneed F91]

It seemed like the incest plot point came about as a consequence to amicably resolve the love triangle set up in TESB. Han even has a throw-away line about how he's going to step out of the way for Luke to score, only for Luke to say he doesn't see her that way. Which would make killing off Han in ROTJ make more sense if he didn't have someone to live for, but since he lives, having one of them back down is a loss of face for that character.

From what I remember, that's basically what happened. Lucas wanted to introduce Luke's sister in Episode 6 and then wrap everything up either in that movie or another one, I forget which. But by the time they got to ESB he was tired of Star Wars and just wanted to get it over with.

By the way, people seem to forget just how difficult it is to make a trilogy. Most trilogies take a shit somewhere after the first or second movie Imagine trying to re-capture what made a movie good 2 more times. We should be lucky that ROTJ turned out as good, if flawed, as it did. We could have gotten Gary Kurtz and Larry Kasdan's shitty edgelord ending for the OT where everyone dies. The Disney sequels were always going to take a shit somewhere even if TFA was good though.

Disney released a new video on their Disney Parks channel about Galactic Starcruiser which features Matt "Porgcuck" Martin talking about the story of the Halcyon.
View attachment 3002437

Thank you to @The Gangster Computer for providing me a copy of the video for archival.

Matt "Canon doesn't matter" Martin talking about why canon matters for the dumb Star Wars hotel? And for fucks sake they really did make this thing sequel themed. After Galaxy's Edge nuked all the potential it had by being sequel themed.

Why would a passenger ship be flying around during a serious galaxy spanning war? Oh wait, it takes place after TLJ so the galaxy doesn't actually give a shit about the 2 military factions having a small retard fight.

 

[Grave Ghost]

I'm unable to quote @The Gangster Computer 's post about the original plot idea Lucas and Arndt had for Episode 7 but I must say that I remember my 16 year old self thinking how awesome that new story line would be back in 2015. Then when the mainstream "nerd" sites got it they all chimped out over this being a stupid idea. I wonder if Disney leaked this on purpose to see how the "fans" would react.

 

[The Ugly One]

It seemed like the incest plot point came about as a consequence to amicably resolve the love triangle set up in TESB. Han even has a throw-away line about how he's going to step out of the way for Luke to score, only for Luke to say he doesn't see her that way. Which would make killing off Han in ROTJ make more sense if he didn't have someone to live for, but since he lives, having one of them back down is a loss of face for that character.

I would not call the OT a mystery box; it was an example of successfully adapting the story as they went to fit how the movies played out. In TESB, the plan seemed, at first, to be a Luke/Leia relationship, building on the prior movie. Farm Boy gets the princess. Problem was, it was obvious during shooting that the real chemistry was with Fisher/Ford. So, you know, a powerful ad-lib by Ford, dropping some footage that didn't work, and rethinking a few things during RotJ, and you've got a successful trilogy on your hands.

The problem with JJ's mystery box method is that it's really easy to create more mystery boxes than you can physically deliver on in the time allotted in the sequel. And maybe in retrospect, there's no way to do it that is coherent. Look at how Lost ultimately fell on its face. There was a new dangling thread every episode, and by the finale, there was no way to sew it all up.

 

[Polyboros2]

I'm still baffled people say The Force Awakens is a decent movie. It's likely the least bad movie if the trilogy(though I didn't even bother with Rise of Skywalker), but not by much and I'd argue it's equally but differently bad as Last Jedi. I assumed people's opinions were going to tarnish HARD after a few years, when after it came out I was surrounded by people that thought it was better than the entire Prequel trilogy and RotJ.

Both movies have been picked to death so much, even Mauler gave up on it(or seemingly anything that wasn't low effort reaction commentary), so I'm not going to go into the weeds about it, but I think they are both narrative atrocities where Last Jedi actively spites there OT, while Force Awaken more casually dismisses it.

 

[Adamska]

The Mandalorian Producer Reveals Why Ahsoka Really Refused To Train Grogu



Translation: Furloni wants his orange waifu to become a Force goddess and not a babysitter.

Autistic incompetent retard who is qualitatively worse than a YA book author and five times as rapey continues to push OC as the deity of the setting. In other news: Porgcuck performs his best Baghdad Bob routine as he crawls into a vehicle that was last used to kill unruly drug mules in Chiapas province, Mexico to shill the greatest scam of a venue since Fyre Festival.

HONK HONK

 

[Sneed F91]

I'm still baffled people say The Force Awakens is a decent movie. It's likely the least bad movie if the trilogy(though I didn't even bother with Rise of Skywalker), but not by much and I'd argue it's equally but differently bad as Last Jedi. I assumed people's opinions were going to tarnish HARD after a few years, when after it came out I was surrounded by people that thought it was better than the entire Prequel trilogy and RotJ.

Both movies have been picked to death so much, even Mauler gave up on it(or seemingly anything that wasn't low effort reaction commentary), so I'm not going to go into the weeds about it, but I think they are both narrative atrocities where Last Jedi actively spites there OT, while Force Awaken more casually dismisses it.

I agree that TFA is a different kind of bad than TLJ. The beginning of a story lays the groundwork for the rest of it. If you mess up the beginning of a story you'll cause serious issues with the middle and the end of it. TFA was not a good foundation for the sequels. You can't build a house on a poor foundation no matter how much Star Wars fans spent time coping about it because eventually the whole thing will fall apart, which it did. The next guy started Episode 8 at a disadvantage. The fans didn't care though. The mystery boxes totally had something in them, you just had to wait and see. Nobody saw the issue in the movie requiring the other two movies to be considered "good" while TPM and ANH were good or bad on their own.

The fans handwaved away massive issues with the movie, and still do, only because they needed to prove to themselves that the people in charge of Star Wars now knew what they were doing, when they clearly didn't. They needed to believe that the franchise was in better hands because George Lucas allegedly ruined it. I've never seen a movie get excused as much for it's poor quality like TFA.

The movie already aged poorly and it only came out 7 years ago.

 

[5t3n0g0ph3r]

So many sells for me, Maul as full-blown villain protagonist, Legacy era, gritty aesthetic, lightsaber maiming in standard combat, Darth Talon, Mandalorians, adopting the vibe of the Maul comic series where he rocked the shirtless look and some Phantom Menace kino with the probe droids.

They could have made it work that Talon was retracing Maul's steps - as in you play as Maul set during the Clone Wars era of a location, but play as Talon in the Legacy version of the locale (kind of like Spider-Man: Edge of Time, but without the two interacting with each other).
So much wasted potential.

Are Glowies a thing in the EU?

Look up the Imperial Security Bureau.
If Abrams was competent, Snoke should have been written as part of it when the Empire fell and had dirt on everyone, knew where all the safehouses were, and could build up the First Order from the emergency caches and blackmail. Think J. Edgar Hoover of the Galactic Empire. Throw in a bit that he either was using a Midichlorian dampener to cloak himself from being a Force user or he became an experimental Force user through harvesting Midichlorians from the Jedi Vader killed or rando Force users the ISB tracked down in secret (as well as access to Sith Holocrons). Boom. No Mystery Box bullshit, but a straightforward connection to a powerful figure from the Empire.

 

[Screamer]

We're never gonna agree on this shit.
Unless I missed something the only real hint Han knows who she might be is a look he gives her when she tells him how much green she never knew was in the galaxy. Again, you could read anything into that. First you said that she had potential because of the mystery box and JJ's supposed plan. I say the mystery box is bullshit. Then you say there's a mystery, to which I say Rey's past is only really mysterious to the audience. There's no real way to piece any of the vague hints we're given in TFA together to make anything coherent about Rey.

"Who is the girl?"
Hard cut.

That is deliberately suggesting.

There's also the stuff with Kylo where his reaction is when a girl is mentioned.

There is intention with this stuff. It was a large part of the discussion post TFA.

The force doesn't just "awaken" in people like Neo's kung fu powers in The Matrix. Imagine if in that movie the Oracle, Agent Smith, and Morpheus just kind of hinted Neo might be The One, without the movie ever really explaining anything, leaving it up to the sequels and the audience to decide what's actually happening.

This is my point, the force training was already in Rey, but it was suppressed by the same thing that was blocking her memories. This is where it gets a bit headcanon but it was my reading of the film. The actual cannon definition of her force downloading Kylo's ability is certainly hack writers trying to fill in plot holes.

TFA on initial viewings never came off to me that Rey just suddenly knew Kung Fu. It was directly tied to who she was. Which is her mysterious past that she doesn't know.

It was never that she was some random girl who touched an object and got magical powers. It was a girl who didn't know her past, and was starting to discover it.

I don't hate Daisy Ridley. She's wooden as all hell but she seems likable enough the first time watching TFA. A smarter director could have used her "talents", whatever those are,

One of the problems with Rey, like basically all the sequel characters is that they never had proper character arcs or growth. Just superficial but still the same cookie cutter idea of a character from that first film. There's nothing real about the characters having normal human existence.

 

[ZMOT]

I'm still baffled people say The Force Awakens is a decent movie.

depends how you define it. it's competently made on a technical level, looks and sounds great, hits all the story beats people expect with a lot of different setpieces...
it's like a plastic burger fast food joints use for advertisement. so if all you want to have it look good and get people buy shit you could probably call it decent.

but seriously, the biggest issue is how fucking boring it is. there's nothing in it to rile you up like LTJ did, but there's also nothing that gets you hyped. it's just... there, but since it has a star wars label that's enough for lot of people (and that's not a retroactive opinion, it was one of the few movies I couldn't watch twice while everyone else was still gushing about it). fuck it was enough to let TROS make a billion dollars.

Hell most of the actors in the DT are doing okay or even great in Oscar and Adam's cases. Daisy was fucked because she's not that good as an actor given a shitty role in 3 bad movies, just like everyone else in the DT. It doesn't matter though because her family's well off and she'll take bit parts until she marries a rich guy and settles down. That's the last I'll say about this because I don't care anymore.

no shit the ones with an established career from before will have one afterwards, but that's hardly "most" of them. what are boyega, tran and gleeson up to these days? same way a single successful movie can be a springboard for a great career (however you want to define that) a whole trilogy of shit will have the opposite effect if that's your sole claim to fame. that's not even up for debate.

also nice cop out, here, watch mine: "daisy ridley is the greatest actress on the planet, that's all I'll say about it because I don't care any more".

for the record, "talent" means fuck all in hollywood. in case you haven't noticed we're shitposting in a thread with over 2400 pages about a trilogy made by two of the biggest hacks still getting fucking work by a company so creatively bankrupt they have to rape their old IPs with life action remakes. it never fucking mattered how talented she is or not, and that's exactly what I said in the beginning.

EDIT:

It was never that she was some random girl who touched an object and got magical powers. It was a girl who didn't know her past, and was starting to discover it.

who also knew the falcon better than han fucking solo, and fixed it just by ripping shit out. and let's not talk about her flying chops.

look, you're not wrong but you're not right either. in your headcanon and reading that's how it works and how it makes sense (people don't usually think rationally about stuff that doesn't make sense), but that's exactly how the mystery box works and why it's so successful.

as shit as TLJ was there was still enough left to make a decent third movie, yet we got peak jarjar. there never was a plan, else TROS would never be the movie it is, TLJ or not.

 

[Screamer]

I'm still baffled people say The Force Awakens is a decent movie. It's likely the least bad movie if the trilogy(though I didn't even bother with Rise of Skywalker), but not by much and I'd argue it's equally but differently bad as Last Jedi. I assumed people's opinions were going to tarnish HARD after a few years, when after it came out I was surrounded by people that thought it was better than the entire Prequel trilogy and RotJ.

Both movies have been picked to death so much, even Mauler gave up on it(or seemingly anything that wasn't low effort reaction commentary), so I'm not going to go into the weeds about it, but I think they are both narrative atrocities where Last Jedi actively spites there OT, while Force Awaken more casually dismisses it.

The issue I see that people have, and where I am out of sync with others on here is that I can separate out my perception of the film when it was the only film of the trilogy.

It was a blast in cinemas on the first viewing. It made you excited for the potential of the trilogy. Even on more viewings, when you became more aware of the issues. It was still fun and did a lot to build excitement for where the trilogy could go.

I have never revised it since watching TLJ. As all that excitement and potential was flushed down the toilet.

TFA was a lot of promise that was never followed through because the film is just an introduction and didn't set enough in stone. It never laid the groundwork for what the new trilogy would or could be.

As it was so vague, it really needed the next film to set the solid ground of the trilogy, which it was determined not to do. That doesn't mean it couldn't have had a sequel that was great and built on it.

The flaws of the ST is that each next film undermines the film that came before it. Which is certainly not good when the first film was so flimsy to begin with.

I do think it was possible to have had films that built upon the films that came before it. We did not get that, but it doesn't mean that wasn't possible. Despite what people here think.

 

[Kup]

They could have made it work that Talon was retracing Maul's steps - as in you play as Maul set during the Clone Wars era of a location, but play as Talon in the Legacy version of the locale (kind of like Spider-Man: Edge of Time, but without the two interacting with each other).
So much wasted potential.

Well, I assumed they were gonna have him get get frozen/stasis/teleported and he’d completely skip the Empire era.

You get that “fish out of water” setting that lets the game explain the Legacy era for normies and Maul gets the satisfaction of outliving his enemies.

They also had plans for a companion system, which from the limited information available seemed to be similar to the “buddy” system from MGSV.

Probe Droid marks enemies/shows weaknesses and Talon could chain her attacks with Maul for combos reminiscent of Arkham Knight’s “duo combos”.

Maul was even going to have a Mother Base.

I’m not saying that Maul was gonna become Star Wars Big Boss but looking at Talon’s outfits……

I’m getting Quiet flashbacks.

 

[Sneed F91]

no shit the ones with an established career from before will have one afterwards, but that's hardly "most" of them. what are boyega, tran and gleeson up to these days? same way a single successful movie can be a springboard for a great career (however you want to define that) a whole trilogy of shit will have the opposite effect if that's your sole claim to fame. that's not even up for debate.

also nice cop out, here, watch mine: "daisy ridley is the greatest actress on the planet, that's all I'll say about it because I don't care any more".

for the record, "talent" means fuck all in hollywood. in case you haven't noticed we're shitposting in a thread with over 2400 pages about a trilogy made by two of the biggest hacks still getting fucking work by a company so creatively bankrupt they have to rape their old IPs with life action remakes. it never fucking mattered how talented she is or not, and that's exactly what I said in the beginning.

John Boyega has 3 films coming out this year. Domhnall Gleeson did some Peter Rabbit sequel last year and has a TV show coming out later this year that he's in, Kelly Marie Tran did that Raya and the Last Dragon Disney movie. John had one notable movie before TFA (Attack the Block) and some bit parts, Kelly had bit parts, Domhnall was more successful than both of them before TFA (a mix of bit parts and main roles). Daisy had bit parts in short films before TFA, did a few small things in-between, starred in a terrible movie with Tom Holland after TROS, and has 3 roles for the future. This is all on Wikipedia. Rey was fucked but if Daisy were a better actor and made better career moves she might be doing better whether the sequels were shit or not, but she's not completely struggling. None of them really are.

Also acting and directing are two different things.

The issue I see that people have, and where I am out of sync with others on here is that I can separate out my perception of the film when it was the only film of the trilogy.

Unironically, what do you mean by this? I agree that every movie in the DT after TFA undermines the next one. I have been judging TFA solely on it's own merits the same way I've judged ANH and TPM, both starts to their respective trilogies. The first movie is supposed to be the solid framework for the trilogy, not the middle one. Again, why are people okay with the mystery box vagueness in TFA, but also somehow expecting Episode 8 to waste lots screentime explaining things that should have been explained in TFA like why Luke is on the island?

If TFA worked like you say it does, then TLJ being bad theoretically shouldn't discourage you from watching it on it's own. I can watch ANH on it's own anytime I want, TPM is boring and weird but the story works in such a way that it leaves a lot open for AOTC while being "conclusive" enough to watch by itself imo. TFA only really works once: sitting in the movie theater watching it for the first time in 2015. TLJ just made it worse.

 

[jspit2.0]

They could have made it work that Talon was retracing Maul's steps - as in you play as Maul set during the Clone Wars era of a location, but play as Talon in the Legacy version of the locale (kind of like Spider-Man: Edge of Time, but without the two interacting with each other).
So much wasted potential.

Look up the Imperial Security Bureau.
If Abrams was competent, Snoke should have been written as part of it when the Empire fell and had dirt on everyone, knew where all the safehouses were, and could build up the First Order from the emergency caches and blackmail. Think J. Edgar Hoover of the Galactic Empire. Throw in a bit that he either was using a Midichlorian dampener to cloak himself from being a Force user or he became an experimental Force user through harvesting Midichlorians from the Jedi Vader killed or rando Force users the ISB tracked down in secret (as well as access to Sith Holocrons). Boom. No Mystery Box bullshit, but a straightforward connection to a powerful figure from the Empire.

Oh...the ISB. So much to do with them. instead Fagloni wasted them as being where one of his pet OC's landed.

 

[The Valeyard]

”What people will say is well if it’s just in a dream sequence, if it’s just in the spiritual realm like we had in the Sequel Trilogy, I’ll be okay with it, I can justify it. No, fuck you because that’s what they want, they are going to continue to do this, they will continue to take these characters that you care about that you love they’re going to mash them together where they really don’t fucking belong in these eras that are continuing to get more and more convoluted when they were never intended to be and they’re going to make you, if you want to like this, they’re going to make you try to reconcile in your head how you can justify them doing this”

 

[nostalgiasorrow]

 

[Screamer]

Unironically, what do you mean by this? I agree that every movie in the DT after TFA undermines the next one. I have been judging TFA solely on it's own merits the same way I've judged ANH and TPM, both starts to their respective trilogies. The first movie is supposed to be the solid framework for the trilogy, not the middle one. Again, why are people okay with the mystery box vagueness in TFA, but also somehow expecting Episode 8 to waste lots screentime explaining things that should have been explained in TFA like why Luke is on the island?

If TFA worked like you say it does, then TLJ being bad theoretically shouldn't discourage you from watching it on it's own. I can watch ANH on it's own anytime I want, TPM is boring and weird but the story works in such a way that it leaves a lot open for AOTC while being "conclusive" enough to watch by itself imo. TFA only really works once: sitting in the movie theater watching it for the first time in 2015. TLJ just made it worse.

It doesn't work as the start of a trilogy only because its sequels are bad. There could have been sequels that could have built and expanded upon it and a lot of these conversations would not be happening.

That is the central point. It was written as an introductory part of a story. I simply am saying that the firm decisions that doomed the trilogy weren't made in it. As it made so little firm decisions.

Its lack of making firm decisions is a problem. The amount of mistakes made are vast.


ANH was a stand lone film. TPM due to the structure of that trilogy was also made fairly stand alone. Where as ATC and ROTS were written as part ones and two. Similarly to TESB and ROTJ. With the sequels, it was written as part 1 and then got a shit part 2 that didn't care.

Episode 8 could have opened with a continuation of the end scene of TFA where Luke says, "Rey, " "Daughter" or any other things. It could have also opened 10 years later. The first order was remounting an attack and the New Republic was sending a giant fleet after them. With a trained Rey and Luke spearheading an army of Jedi.

TFA was so nothing, that people like you who are TLJ apologists aren't even seeing that is what you are. There was endless potential, because of how nothing TFA was. Stop putting the firm choices made by round head onto it.

 

[Creep3r]

Wait, that's literally the whole song? A 34 second little turd? Hope it was worth those 6k or 10k those people wasted, but judging from their reactions they'd probably throw away a million on it so long as its a disney-brand hotel.

Unsurprisingly, the few positive reviews sound suspicious or come from Karens and elite disney addicts who supposedly had early access.

 

[Mississippi Motorboater]

Holy shit, if you go onto to the best-seller list of Star Wars novels right now, the top 50 entries are all Expanded Universe novels, without a single Disney SW book in sight:

​

One thing you might notice is that the Top 10 category is dominated by bounty hunter-related books like Bounty Hunter Wars and Shadows of the Empire. I wonder if disappointment with a certain recent Disney+ show has anything to do with that...