Grand Jury speculation thread

[ToroidalBoat]

Plenty of autists ride bikes

Just looking at lolcows like Chris and Phil (ADF), one may think otherwise.

Borb so desperately wanted Chris to be normal

Wanting Chris to be normal is like wanting water to be dry.

 

[Hogar Grupal]

Of all the things Chris tried, failed, and vowed never to try again, why didn't he fail at driving? Christory might be a bit different.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

why didn't he fail at driving?

Chris is in rural Virginia, where a car is considered a necessity. So maybe it's much easier to get a license?

After all, the state lets Barb drive.

 

[Pointless Sperg]

Of all the things Chris tried, failed, and vowed never to try again, why didn't he fail at driving? Christory might be a bit different.

Chris is in rural Virginia, where a car is considered a necessity. So maybe it's much easier to get a license?

After all, the state lets Barb drive.

This, basically. Plus driving requires no physical effort, and minor mistakes while driving (of which Chris makes many) do not result in physical discomfort, whereas falling off your bike gives you a boo boo.

But yeah, when you live in most of the United States, you are essentially an invalid if you don't drive. The infrastructure of towns are not set up to accommodate people who do not have a car, and places like Ruckersville are designed in ways that are actively hostile to modes of transportation other than driving. (Curvy streets that don't allow you to bike/walk directly to your destination, no sidewalks, no provision for bicycles, no public transportation, no businesses allowed in areas where people live, mandatory setbacks and lot sizes forcing homes to be far apart, businesses separated by vast parking lots, etc.)

 

[Hogar Grupal]

The infrastructure of towns are not set up to accommodate people who do not have a car, and places like Ruckersville are designed in ways that are actively hostile to modes of transportation other than driving. (Curvy streets that don't allow you to bike/walk directly to your destination, no sidewalks, no provision for bicycles, no public transportation, no businesses allowed in areas where people live, mandatory setbacks and lot sizes forcing homes to be far apart, etc.)

Seems like with everything, Borb wasted $ on something Chris wouldn't use, either under his own accord, or on the account of the environment.

 

[Tikbalang]

What if his soulbonding is just Chris masturbating in front of Barb? She doesn't get facial or anything, is it still a crime?

 

[Ser Ciappelletto]

What if his soulbonding is just Chris masturbating in front of Barb? She doesn't get facial or anything, is it still a crime?

Legally no. They can only keep him locked up if it involved penetration. It was explaimed by someone else in a different thread in detail.

 

[Ophelia]

Just looking at lolcows like Chris and Phil (ADF), one may think otherwise.

KF is the bottom of the barrel in every demographic. The worst examples of every group. The bad apples in every bushel. No lolcow is representative of the set they belong to.

 

[The Dude]

KF is the bottom of the barrel in every demographic. The worst examples of every group. The bad apples in every bushel. No lolcow is representative of the set they belong to.

I'd have to disagree with you with regards to Phil/ADF. He absolutely is representative of the radical Left/ANTIFA/SJW/neo-Marxists in the US these days. Lazy, entitled, selfish, spoiled, childish, ignorant, violent, cowardly...he's basically the posterboy for that segment of American politics.

 

[A-№1]

Wanting Chris to be normal is like wanting water to be dry.

Which is why Borb decided to play pretend the water was dry and Chris was normal instead of admitting he had issues and getting him help, even going so far as to move to a new school district and maintain two residences to mainstream him.

I always wanted to ask Bob if it was worth it.

So maybe it's much easier to get a license?

I suspect the Charlottesville DMV examiners eventually gave Chris a pass so they wouldn't have to deal with him any more.

He absolutely is representative of the radical Left/ANTIFA/SJW/neo-Marxists in the US these days.

These days? They've always been parasites. It's just that leeches get fatter the more you feed them.

ADF is what you get when you give socialists what they want.

 

[The Dude]

ADF is what you get when you give socialists what they want.

It's too bad we can't give them a taste of real Marxism: If you don't work then you don't get anything because you're worthless to the collective. Off to the forced labor camps and gulags with you.

 

[Pointless Sperg]

Legally no. They can only keep him locked up if it involved penetration. It was explaimed by someone else in a different thread in detail.

Doesn't have to be penetration, it's more about what stuff contacts what. There's a statute against penis-in-vagina, and one for any oral contact (however slight) with penis/vagina/anus that also covers penis-in-anus. There's no statute against hand touching stuff (as long as it was with consenting adults), so for instance Barb jerking Chris off would be legal, and Chris fingering barb would be legal even if it involved penetration.

 

[Ophelia]

I'd have to disagree with you with regards to Phil/ADF. He absolutely is representative of the radical Left/ANTIFA/SJW/neo-Marxists in the US these days. Lazy, entitled, selfish, spoiled, childish, ignorant, violent, cowardly...he's basically the posterboy for that segment of American politics.

OK you have a point. Though a lot of them at least walk around and are somewhat less medically retarded. Also, Phil just pretends to be violent; some of those assholes are actually dangerous to vulnerable people.

 

[A-№1]

It's too bad we can't give them a taste of real Marxism: If you don't work then you don't get anything because you're worthless to the collective. Off to the forced labor camps and gulags with you.

They're OK with that because each fantasizes they'll be the ones running the gulags. There's no way they'll learn otherwise, either, because "real marxism" doesn't last long enough to teach any lessons.

Socialist systems (and socialists themselves) cannot survive on their own without functioning market economies to parasitize.

Doesn't have to be penetration, it's more about what stuff contacts what.

So… how does it feel to now be a legal expert on the niceties of incest in Virginia thanks to Chris?

Also, Phil just pretends to be violent; some of those assholes are actually dangerous to vulnerable people.

I often wonder how Phil hasn't repeatedly had his ass kicked as a retarded minnow swimming with psychotic sharks.

 

[Pointless Sperg]

They're OK with that because each fantasizes they'll be the ones running the gulags. There's no way they'll learn otherwise, either, because "real marxism" doesn't last long enough to teach any lessons.

Socialist systems (and socialists themselves) cannot survive on their own without functioning market economies to parasitize.

Yup. That's why the only well-functioning socialist systems leave a market economy intact and then feed on it in a fiscally responsible way, becoming more of a symbiot than a parasite.

So… how does it feel to now be a legal expert on the niceties of incest in Virginia thanks to Chris?

Hardly an expert, just informed.

That said, it was interesting learning about it. If Chris had just taken a trip to New Jersey, he could have legally banged Barb. (New Jersey and Rhode Island do not criminalize consensual parent/child incest as long as they are 18 in New Jersey and 16 in Rhode Island). Of course Barb would have had to take the trip separately by her own means to avoid Mann Act issues.

Just think, Barb could have been fully healed and become immortal if they had just permanently relocated to New Jersey. She would live forever thanks to Jesus Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu's powers.

 

[A-№1]

That's why the only well-functioning socialist systems leave a market economy intact and then feed on it in a fiscally responsible way, becoming more of a symbiot than a parasite.

Except symbiotic systems are mutual. They provide something back. Socialist systems do not. They only consume. They also always expand to overwhelm the host, maybe slowly enough at first that the market economy can expand to keep up, but their expansion is exponential and thus inevitably results in malthusian style failure and collapse.

Also, "fiscally responsible"? Socialism is inherently irresponsible. The socialist believes others are responsible for his physical and financial well being, not himself.

Just think, Barb could have been fully healed and become immortal if they had just permanently relocated to New Jersey.

And the Jersey Devil would have some new competition from the Ruckersville Skunk Ape. Maybe throw in the Montauk Monster for some three stooges style hijinks. Only one can rule the pine barrens!

Damn but I have some stupid ideas when posting late.

 

[I swear she's 18]

I often wonder how Phil hasn't repeatedly had his ass kicked as a retarded minnow swimming with psychotic sharks.

I believe Phil had one time been assaulted physically while disagreeing with another archo-socialist at some coffee shop. Ofc he changed the story up.

From my understanding he'll call for violence from the safety of his home. Never putting himself at risk. I've heard they do get into altercations often at rallies and demonstrations, but he mostly pussies out before it gets physical.

 

[A Grey Cat]

If Chris had just taken a trip to New Jersey, he could have legally banged Barb. (New Jersey and Rhode Island do not criminalize consensual parent/child incest as long as they are 18 in New Jersey and 16 in Rhode Island).

How is it two states in the North do not criminalize consensual incest (and in one state technically underaged no less) but fucking Virginia has locked Chris up for almost a year for fucking his own mom?

Like I know Virginia isn't Alabama or God forbid Florida but it's still the former heart and soul of the antebellum south.

 

[King Kiwi]

God forbid Florida

I've been to Florida, it's not so bad.

At least the state has sunny beaches and the owner of Kiwi Farms.

But the North calls the South backwards huh? That's something.

 

[A-№1]

I believe Phil had one time been assaulted physically while disagreeing with another archo-socialist at some coffee shop. Ofc he changed the story up.

I believe that was another one of his lies.

he mostly pussies out before it gets physical

Of course he does. He'd be long dead otherwise, or at least seriously incapacitated.

but fucking Virginia has locked Chris up for almost a year for fucking his own mom?

People fucking their elderly mothers happens so rarely the incest paperwork in Virginia doesn't even have forms for it. Why legislate what doesn't ever happen? Or at least doesn't get broadcast all over the internet when it does.

Also other states don't have Chris to deal with.

It's highly likely Greene County has been waiting a long time for any such opportunity to finally resolve the Chandler situation. Chris hasn't been in jail for the past half year because he fucked his mom. He's been locked up that long because he's Chris. The court did consider bailing him out, remember, but then thought better of it.