DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell: General Discussion #2

[Big Brown Schlub]

The Italian snobbery is such a dsp thing. He's never even been to Italy or had authentic Italian food but he acts like he's the expert. The part that gets me is he starts calling everything "Americanized" Italian but then uses "east coast" and "Italian" interchangeably, like they're the same thing. East coast/New York style pizza is much different than actual Italian pizza but he actually thinks they're the same thing. He's that wrong about the topic but still acts like he's better than everyone else when it comes to pizza.

What are you talking about? Ahbviously you know nothing about history so you don't know about the secret Roman colony in North America called Novum Eboracum thus ergo New York style pizza is the most authenticest Italian pizza with authenticity rivaling Neapolitan pizza!

Seriously though one thing aluddapeepol say is that if Phil ever visited Italy it'd be like that time in the Sopranos when the Jersey glorified crew visited Naples. Namely he'd be like Paulie, a character who considers himself the most robust Italian who has ever Italianed but soon finds out that he keeps making a complete jackass of himself because he's just some classless Amerimutt in the eyes of every single OG Neapolitan mobster he interacts with. I'd like to add one thing though, he'd be like a combination of Paulie and Chris. Chris made it a plan to climb Mt. Vesuvius when they were in Italy but instead spent the entire trip in his hotel room getting fucked up on drugs, likewise Phil would probably spend his entire trip in his hotel room getting high off gin, gacha and Doordashed slop from Italian McDonalds.

 

[DSP's Tax Lawyer]

Because he's fucking retarded.

The only time you would need a Tax Attorney would be if you were in trouble with the IRS or CRA here in Canada. A tax atorrney doesn't file your taxes, that's a job for an accountant which he uses, GRASS CPA out of Renton:

Renton, Washington Accounting & Tax Services | Grass CPA and Associates LLC

The CPA firm of Grass CPA and Associates LLC will take care of your tax, accounting and bookkeeping so you can get back to what you do best.

www.grasscpa.com

I knew he was using them as his CPA firm but he still hasn't learned the difference between an accountant and an attorney

 

[Derich 2nd of coomland]

Chris made it a plan to climb Mt. Vesuvius when they were in Italy but instead spent the entire trip in his hotel room getting fucked up on drugs, likewise Phil would probably spend his entire trip in his hotel room getting high off gin, gacha and Doordashed slop from Italian McDonalds.

Well Phil did say during some stream that there really is not point in visiting places as you could just as easily watch a YouTube video and get the same experience.

Only morons go through all the trouble of actually going to the place for themselves, duhuhu.

The only thing that he thought made a trip to another place was to experience the cuisine.

So yeah Phil is the type of mongoloid that would visit Paris, Rome or Venice sitting in his hotel room watching Netflix ordering roomservice, going home and bragging about his "authentic" foreign experience.

EDIT:
I'm willing to bet 500 PoP coins that all the going out an visiting museums and whatnot we saw in his earlier Vlogs was Leanna insisting on actually doing shit aside from sitting in a hotel room.

 

[TheGoutburglar]

Its like he constantly has a guilty conscience and needs to throw out a mountain of lies for every little thing.

This is exactly it. It's why he can lie about anything and have it not bother his conscience enough to stop him from doing it, but never truly SELL a lie, because his brain just has too much awareness of the fact that he's lying. Doesn't help that so much of what he spends his time doing, daily, he decides to lie about. When something is part of your routine, it's kind of hard to just forget about it to such an extent that it doesn't show up in your mannerisms.

Phil doesn't experience anything from doing something dumb or bad, he only feels the embarrassment, and only when outsiders start dunking on him, because it's only the opinion of others that wounds his insecurity. There's a reason he used to over-share a lot more than he does today, and it took a lot of roasting to get him to stop. He's too stupid to know that telling the Wolverine Toy Story is a bad idea, and his emotions make him WANT to share it, not feel bad about being such a baby about one fucking toy he didn't get. His emotions are just as stunted as his IQ is, basically.

Speaking of the Wolverine Toy Story, I'm willing to bet his recounting of how he expressed himself to his parents back then is WAY off. Phil never knows when he's wrong, so I find it hard to believe he did a remotely adequate job of communicating to Dave and Linda about the nature of that toy. This is the same guy who, to this day, insists that he's good at public speaking. He is the living, breathing embodiment of "We didn't watch the same movie, apparently."

 

[QwahlityKahntent]

Why the fuck does he keep calling it a tax attorney?

because he thinks it makes him sound like a MATOOR ADUHLT™

 

[Wasabi Panda]

View attachment 3041311
Phil really does get mad just to get mad it's no wonder he hasn't been able to keep any friends.
Here is the original tweet for context https://twitter.com/manfightdragon/status/1499586313862799360

WAT?

Did something in that gin flooded detractor condo phil calls a head go "well the you blew it sandler reference got old so I know the may-may "everyone is dumber now" from billy madison is popular, I'll emulate that" and thats why literally every take is like highly contagious brain cancer?

In the west we read left to right top to bottom so we're conditioned to take in information that way not bottom to top, there's also visual queue that will direct your eye to the ghost, like he's under lit and glowing. you might not notice, but your brain did.

I'm not sure what he's saying here "So have the tutorial up the damn stairs that stand out and not down the dark, dingy cave 95% of people cannot see on their TVs and monitors."

the stairs stand out but 95% of people can't see them on their TVs and monitors. who are these 95% of people? the same ones who tell you things or "everyone says"? I thought only detractors lived in your head, do the alot of people actually have to pay rent in your head? how do they stand out and can't be seen at the same time? Do people play this on something that isn't a TV or monitor, like a magic mirror? If I uses a projector would I be able to see the stairs that stand out? Does he not see glowing tree, the under lit glowing ghost looking into the hole. How the fuck can you not even keep your thought straight in a fucking tweet, it's not even enough characters to prattle on.

Actually this is a great tutorial if you think about it. Souls games are known for lacking hand holding, being unforgiving, requiring leaps of faith at times and over all being very cryptic in terms of progression. Here's the battle tutorial hinted at in a very cryptic with no hand holding requiring the player to explore on their own taking a small leap of faith down the hole. It's a meta tutorial and phil is a complete moron.

It also solves the long game with a NG+ and/or multiple character builds you can get going pretty quicking and having to slog through the tutorial every time you start a new character or having to deal with "yes I played a video game before especially one just like this/in this series and I read the key binds I don't need to know what WASD keys/directional pad does"...every...single...time

 

[Iron Hamster]

Its amazing how phil manages to make everything he does seem so sketchy. Most normal people would just say "hey I'm not streaming this day/night, I have stuff going on" and that would be it. Phil on the other hand has to over explain what he's doing in his time off and why and offer some details but not all and it just really comes off like he's trying to hide something. Even with his weekly days off, he really just needs to say I'm not streaming on Monday or whatever day. He acts like he needs to justify why he's picking that day and prove its really necessary. Like dude no one cares if you take time off, you're allowed to. Its like he constantly has a guilty conscience and needs to throw out a mountain of lies for every little thing.

Drama streamer needs drama.

I'm willing to bet his recounting of how he expressed himself to his parents back then is WAY off.

You can't tell me you actually believed that from the get go.

 

[detractorzer0]

I can only assume Phil's obsession of claiming he's Italian is because movies portray them as a very interesting group of people and he wants to be interesting with them. There's nothing interesting about Polish people (there is, but Phil hasn't watched any movies with them so fuck that side of him) so he hardly, if ever, mentions it. Its quite sad that he has to go so far to get people to think he is cultured and not just some slob that doesn't talk to many other humans and who plays video games at home all day.

I can tell you this... I know a few Italians and their go-to sure the hell isn't thin ass pizza or sausages covered with sugary tomato paste in a hotdog bun.

Connecticut is the second most Italian state in the US. Something like 18% of people there identify as italian. Phil has probably been claiming himself to be an authentic italian since his younger days to fit in.

 

[QwahlityKahntent]

you might not notice, but your brain did.

i clapped when i saw this reference

 

[TheGoutburglar]

You can't tell me you actually believed that from the get go.

It was a detail I didn't think much on before, as the rest of the story was distracting in its overall childishness.

That happens a lot with Phil, the most glaring bit of retardation will grab my attention and only some time afterward do I pick up on other things, because his level of brain-dead is outrageous.

For example, it occurred to me recently that perhaps one reason he didn't want to fuck Leanna was the fear of getting her pregnant. Makes plenty of sense, he's dumb enough to not really understand how birth control works, childish enough to still be overly-scared of sex leading to pregnancy while in his 30's, and besides that, can't handle his life being disrupted by even the tiniest thing, let alone a literally tiny thing that is anything but small in every other respect. It's not like he's going to be honest about his concerns, even with Leanna, because he never is.

Didn't think of it before because failing to capitalize on having a young nympho first girlfriend, just by itself, is retarded beyond all comprehension, especially considering his obvious perversions of the time.

 

[QwahlityKahntent]

It was a detail I didn't think much on before, as the rest of the story was distracting in its overall childishness.

That happens a lot with Phil, the most glaring bit of retardation will grab my attention and only some time afterward do I pick up on other things, because his level of brain-dead is outrageous.

For example, it occurred to me recently that perhaps one reason he didn't want to fuck Leanna was the fear of getting her pregnant. Makes plenty of sense, he's dumb enough to not really understand how birth control works, childish enough to still be overly-scared of sex leading to pregnancy while in his 30's, and besides that, can't handle his life being disrupted by even the tiniest thing, let alone a literally tiny thing that is anything but small in every other respect. It's not like he's going to be honest about his concerns, even with Leanna, because he never is.

Didn't think of it before because failing to capitalize on having a young nympho first girlfriend, just by itself, is retarded beyond all comprehension, especially considering his obvious perversions of the time.

occams razor: he's gay

 

[DSP's Tax Lawyer]

because he thinks it makes him sound like a MATOOR ADUHLT™

It makes him sound like a tax cheat

 

[JimiHendrix]

DSP saying game design is easy is so fantastic. A professional, career gamer who has never attempted to make a game and sucks at every game he plays, shitting all over every game developer he can and saying it’s bing bong so simple. Classic DSP.

mario maker.

i've been designing games as a hobby for ten years, nothing amused me more than watching phil make a mario level that constituted 3 blocks spaced a lil bit apart with a koopa on the last one. man really thought he'd reinvented the wheel.

honestly believe phil is too stupid to have imagination. phil's one of those niggers who has no internal monologue/can't imagine an apple.

 

[Wasabi Panda]

i clapped when i saw this reference

that reference, it broke new ground

 

[Hogan of the South]

What gets me is that he never has anything poignant to say. Not once has he suggested a quality of life improvement or criticized some valid design choice. It's always just generic outrage.

He will never have anything prophetic or poignant to say Bc he has no sphere of experience or knowledge to do so. The disgusting excuse of a human being as shackled himself to one room in a good sized home and just sits there all day listening to people more mentally or equally as fucked as he is.

His brain has to be just the mushiest of oatmeal at this point. I Give thanks to any god that’s listening that he has failed to procreate and burden the rest of us with anymore of his filth.

 

[Prophet Gaming]

It makes him sound like a tax cheat

He is a tax cheat, that's why he's on the payment plan and paying back taxes.

My guess from the amount that he owes, when he started making bank on Youtube when he initially started in 2007/2008 he never once decalred his YouTube/Streamer income on his taxes. He states that it all happened between 2014 and 2017 but he wouldn't have accumulated the ammount he owes within 3 years. Then there's the fact that Burnell Productions wasn't even registered till 2014 in Washington when he moved, he even spelt the business wrong and then re-registerd it in 2017.

His tax problems stem prior to moving to Washington and probably ballooned once he did because he had no clue what State B&O tax was thinking he would get off scott free by not paying income tax...

 

[Sicko Hunter]

I can only assume Phil's obsession of claiming he's Italian is because movies portray them as a very interesting group of people and he wants to be interesting with them. There's nothing interesting about Polish people (there is, but Phil hasn't watched any movies with them so fuck that side of him) so he hardly, if ever, mentions it. Its quite sad that he has to go so far to get people to think he is cultured and not just some slob that doesn't talk to many other humans and who plays video games at home all day.

He also completely ignores his own fathers ancestry because it's Anglo old colonial stock which he can't flaunt around as unique because nearly every American can claim atleast one colonial ancestor. Despite there being a very unique and interesting history like you said Phil would not know about it because it wasn't on the Sopranos or shoved into his face in other pop culture.

Sidenote: I think this obsession with being "real Italian!" is definitely an east coast thing because growing up on the west coast I knew no one who larped as some kind of European ethnicity while being born in the USA. White kids just identitfied with being white and there were no people I knew who tried to claim to be [insert European ethnicity]-American authentic and robust!

 

[DSP's Tax Lawyer]

He is a tax cheat, that's why he's on the payment plan and paying back taxes.

My guess from the amount that he owes, when he started making bank on Youtube when he initially started in 2007/2008 he never once decalred his YouTube/Streamer income on his taxes. He states that it all happened between 2014 and 2017 but he wouldn't have accumulated the ammount he owes within 3 years. Then there's the fact that Burnell Productions wasn't even registered till 2014 in Washington when he moved, he even spelt the business wrong and then re-registerd it in 2017.

View attachment 3042229

His tax problems stem prior to moving to Washington and probably ballooned once he did because he had no clue what State B&O tax was thinking he would get off scott free by not paying income tax...

Penalties and interest are a bitch when you owe taxes too

 

[Anal birth]

What do you mean cocker? One of his parents is half Italian, which makes Phil full Italian and as such he can tell good authentic Italian food just by looking at it.
I once saw him put oregano on his pizza when he was with Leanna. He told us he likes oregano and that only Italians like it, so I have no reason to not trust him. I saw him put it on his pizza, mate.

The worst thing about that Pizza video with Leanna is that he doesn't just put oregano on it, he also puts coriander/cilantro on it. That famous Italiano herberino

 

[Lady Adjani]

He also completely ignores his own fathers ancestry because it's Anglo old colonial stock which he can't flaunt around as unique because nearly every American can claim atleast one colonial ancestor. Despite there being a very unique and interesting history like you said Phil would not know about it because it wasn't on the Sopranos or shoved into his face in other pop culture.

Sidenote: I think this obsession with being "real Italian!" is definitely an east coast thing because growing up on the west coast I knew no one who larped as some kind of European ethnicity while being born in the USA. White kids just identitfied with being white and there were no people I knew who tried to claim to be [insert European ethnicity]-American authentic and robust!

I'd understand the whole "authentic pureblood italian" spiel a lot more if he actually spoke Italian or at the very least visited the country on occasion.