Jaina rise up from her crib, just in case you forgot she's a baby, and found Matt washing dishes while singing a sad song.
"It is a pretty sad song," Matt replied, "But I actually like it. Makes me realize that there are people out there that are terribly miserable. It's a sad thought that cheers me up immensly."
Then Teen Liliana shows she didn't know how to do the dishes because apparently she has Matt leaving chunks of food in the dishwasher. I hope that by now she learned that you can just throw away the food left on the plate before cleaning it up.
"See?" he said, pointing to the dishes, "This is what I have to do since I can't get a job."
"That looks yucky, daddy," Jaina said, wrinkling her small nose at the smell of soggy food in dishwater.
"Yeah, imagine sticking your hand in that," Matt said.
"Ewwwww!" Jaina said, squirming down from her father's grip.
Then Matt remembers a time where Peter caught a pressumably teen Jaina naked on the bathroom, taking the chance to show what a responsible father he is. I wonder if this's what Liliana said to herself whenever people would beg her to tag her NSFW posts.
"I really didn't need to see that," Jaina said, "That was not suitable for children."
"Hey, I'm dead, I don't really care," Matt said.
More mommy/daddy issues from Matt when he recieves a letter from his parents. Teen Liliana apparently thought that adopted children just keep the last name of their biological parents.
"Not your actual parents?" Meg asked, "What happened?"
"Cole and Aaron Ryder are my actual parents," Matt explained, "I was born when they were seventeen, and they put me up for adoption. I was on the list for months, until Karen and Jordon decided to adopt me."
"But, you hate them, for some reason," Lois said.
"They resented me," Matt said, "When they told me I was adopted, they reffered to me as an ungrateful bastard child."
They weren't wrong.
Matt decides to visit his biological parents with Meg and Jaina. His parents were rich. They have a butler whose name Matt asks. His name is Mike. Matt's parents explain that they became rich after an uncle died.
"Pretty lucky thing to happen after you gave me away."
"We had no control over it," Cole said, "And we tried to get you back."
"Obviously not very hard," Meg said angrily.
Mike The Butler takes Jaina and Meg to the music room so Matt's parents can bash Meg and Matt is not good defending her.
"You guys had been rich for less than twenty years and it's already gone to your head? I don't give a damn how she looks, she is the most kind and sweet person in the world! And, just to be in defiance of you, I happen to think she is very beautiful."
What woman doesn't want to hear that her husband think she's beautiful only to spite his parents? Matt has another reaction when his parents suggest to have Jaina's wings removed.
At these words, Matt looked up at his "father" and his peircing red eyes burned with hatred, "What did you just say about my little girl?"
"Listen, we can pay for the necessary surgery to have those wings removed," Cole said, "She will be socially acceptable."
"I don't believe what I'm hearing!" Matt said in outrage, "I will not sit here and let you blatently insult my family!"
"Now Matt, we can fix this," Cole said, "You will come live with us, and we will help you become a more...refined member of society."
Matt stood up from his seat, and drew his sword, "Shut up!"
Teen Liliana still doesn't understand how genetics works.
"What gives you the right to determine what I can and can't do?" Matt half yelled.
"I am your father!" Aaron said.
"THE ONLY THING THAT MAKES YOU MY FATHER," Matt yelled, advancing on him, "IS TWO FUCKING STRANDS OF DNA!"
Matt goes to Meg and Jaina, surprised that Meg can actually play the piano. Then he tells her, in front of her infant child, what his parents said about both of them. That surely won't make tense while they're stuck on that mansion for one week, because Matt might hate those "aristrocratic assholes" but going to a hotel is not even an option.
At night Jaina keeps waking them up by crying and despite being clear she's scared about something, neither Matt or Meg just tell her to calm down. This scene would work a lot better if we didn't know already that Jaina is highly intelligent for a baby and can talk on her own. Matt sings a song for her and it works.
"When did you learn to play the piano?" Meg asked.
"I wasn't," Matt said, "I was using telekinesis. I just had to think the music, and the piano would play itself."
"That's bizzare," Meg said.
Homophobic joke.
(Cutaway)
"Buzzz Buzzz Buzzz," a fruit fly said, in an obvious gay lisp.
(A/N: If you didn't get the pun you must be very pathetic)
Matts has a brilliant idea.
"I know how to prove to those two that personality beats looks any day," Matt said.
"How are you going to do that?" Meg asked.
Matt placed his fingertips on Meg's face, and in an instant, her hair became longer, turned blonde, and her glasses vanished.
"You are going to look like their idea of attractive, while being the bitch you always are when you look like this," Matt said.
"That's brilliant Matt!" she said, hugging him.
"Now Meg," Matt said dissapointedly, "Is that really bitchy?"
"Oh right," Meg said, "Uh, just go get me some more pillows," she snapped her fingers at him.
"That's my girl," Matt said, "But no."
They both lied down, and fell asleep. Matt was excited. He couldn't wait to make his biological parents twist and squirm at how wrong they were.
I'm starting to think the only reason Teen Liliana liked Meg was because everyone hated her and nothing else.
Casual domestic abuser Matt is conflicted.
Matt gave her a thumbs up, but his mind was fighting with itself. Half of him was glad that his plan was working, but the other half wanted to bitchslap Meg until she was her kind self again.
This line came straight from an incel.
"Well, Matthew," Aaron said, "Your 'wife' has certainly undergone a change hasn't she?"
"Hey, it's the price of stereotypical beauty," Matt said, "Why? Is there a problem?"
His parents reveal that he was always the heir to their fortune, despite having no contact with him his entire life.
It's seven and a half trillion dollars," Aaron said.
Meg started having strange convulsions. Her eyes were twitching, and so were her arms. Jaina's eyes had gone wide, and her wings were spread in surprise. Matt just remained cold faced and angry.
"You take your money," Matt said, "And shove it up your fucking ass! The day I become your heir, is the day I swallow razor wire, pull the end out of my ass and floss myself to death!"
"Matt!" Meg said in surprise, "We really need that money!"
"Correction," Matt said, "By the time they die, you will not be far behind."
What a caring loving line to say to your wife, again, in front of your baby. Matts says that if they leave his name on their will he'll donate it all to charity, so his parents instantly decide he's out. They come back home. Jaina's dissapointed but Matt insist that "money complicates things" and has no further say.
Is this what Liliana thinks all rich people are like? Is this why she always uses Lizzy's parents actually taking care of her as a detriment of her character? But when she uses money to manipulate and coerse people into doing rape dog pictures for her or generally to leverage it against them once they speak out, that's okay. She's nothing like those rich assholes because sometimes she has less money that she'd like to.
