Chris turns 40

[Flavius Anthemius]

if only we could have pre 2010 Chris Chan back, also just reread Asperchu what a fucking blast would love to see a revamped version or picking up the story

Hmm, yeah those were better days when trolling was actually new and funny. Those events took place over a decade ago now, on the internet that's a very very long time and it's still hilarious to reminisce about those days when he was just a strange idiot and wasn't a deranged mother fucking swamp monster he is now.

 

[A-№1]

Point was these people expect the same price they paid for their items even though depreciation has set in.

No argument there. In fact I believe they expect MORE than they paid. I don't think the Z3 was new when Barb bought it.

Maybe Barb could? She's old enough that she might have learned on a stick.

I thought the Z3 was Barb's. It's plates read BWESTON.

Also everyone should know how to drive a stick.

That car still sat on the lawn for years without being started or run around the block. You can't just leave a car lying around the yard, uncovered and exposed to the elements if you expect it to run.

This.

There's a reason why you hear about "barn finds", but never "field finds".

she still wanted $12K or something ridiculous for it.

$10,000. Probably because it's an easier number to pull out of your ass with all those zeros.

 

[I swear she's 18]

Also everyone should know how to drive a stick.

Bold of you to assume Gen Zer's are willing to put in the effort and willing to multitask whilst driving. As automatic is simply easier and you can't fuck up your clutch by being terrible. Having a manual is a pretty good theft deterrent these days.

 

[Pointless Sperg]

Bold of you to assume Gen Zer's are willing to put in the effort and willing to multitask whilst driving. As automatic is simply easier and you can't fuck up your clutch by being terrible. Having a manual is a pretty good theft deterrent these days.

Automatic transmission design is good enough these days anyway that there's really no more benefit in driving stick. The old slushbox torque converter is a thing of the past. Manual transmissions are now the equivalent of dressing up in Victorian outfits -- done more for style than practicality. Modern torque converter transmissions all pawl in to get the same efficiency as a classical transmission, with the torque converter just replacing the clutch. In autostick clutch-based gearboxes a 50 cent microcontroller can now control the clutch better than you can.

Yeah a manual transmission can survive an EMP, but the ECU will still be dead.

Once everything goes electric, it will be a moot point.

 

[A-№1]

Bold of you to assume Gen Zer's are willing to put in the effort and willing to multitask whilst driving.

I said should, not would or could.

there's really no more benefit in driving stick.

Other than the MSRP.

Once everything goes electric,

Facepalm.

Where do you think the electricity used to power electric cars comes from? In most of the world, electric cars run on coal and other fossil fuels, but with extra added steps (inefficiencies) in the middle. Only in a very few, limited areas do they run on renewables or nuclear power, and even those have their issues.

Teslas are designed first and foremost to allow zipsters to virtue signal. Any environmental benefits are far down the list below that, and negligible to non-existent when you look at the whole cost to benefit equation.

 

[Pointless Sperg]

Other than the MSRP.

Modern manual transmissions have a ton of automation in them and don't really provide much cost savings, instead it's mostly used as a sneaky way to advertise a lower base price and then jack the price up for a feature they assume almost everyone is going to buy.

Like in the age of electronic throttle, cruise control costs maybe a dollar to implement (an extra switch and a flag in the software to say it's enabled), yet it's not included in the base model as an incentive to pay for higher trim levels.

Where do you think the electricity used to power electric cars comes from? In most of the world, electric cars run on coal and other fossil fuels, but with extra added steps (inefficiencies) in the middle. Only in a very few, limited areas do they run on renewables or nuclear power, and even those have their issues.

Teslas are designed first and foremost to allow zipsters to virtue signal. Any environmental benefits are far down the list below that, and negligible to non-existent when you look at the whole cost to benefit equation.

Ignoring any environmental concerns, and any of the annoying virtue-signalling that comes with them (which I wholeheartedly agree with you about), they're just plain practical. Yeah the infrastructure wasn't in place before, but a charger is way cheaper and easier to maintain than gasoline infrastructure, electricity is easier to distribute (and we need to have that infrastructure anyway), and an electric motor is an order of magnitude more reliable than an internal combustion engine.

The only thing gasoline/diesel wins at is energy density and portability in places without any infrastructure, which basically means it retains an edge in military vehicles, aircraft, and exploring the deep wilderness/arctic tundra.

The reason it's cheaper to charge your car at home, even if your electricity came from fossil fuels, is that all that energy comes easily over cables and you're not paying for the inefficient fuel distribution network that gets the gasoline to your gas station. It's the same reason your tap water is cheaper than buying bottled water.

 

[A-№1]

Modern manual transmissions

It's not a matter of the transmission. It's a matter of the driver. Everyone should know how to drive a stick for the same reason everyone should know how to do CPR, or light a fire, or shoot a gun, or read a map. It's one of those simple as fuck skills you might never need to use, but if you ever do need it, and you don't know it, you're fucked (or at least someone is fucked in the case of CPR).

Ignoring any environmental concerns

You can't ignore environmental concerns when that is literally the tesla's primary advertising pitch.

they're just plain practical.

Only for a very limited set of requirements, and those very local. I would fucking HATE to try taking a tesla long distance, and the tesla semi tractor is an absolute joke. Also do you know how much gasoline it takes to run a portable generator long enough to charge a stranded tesla sufficient to get it to the nearest charging station? I do. And it's a hell of a lot more than it would have taken to drive an IC powered car home. Or to tow the tesla home, which you can't even do because you can't flat tow a tesla.

electricity is easier to distribute

LOL. Not really. You don't want to know what a house of cards the grid is. And electrical transmission line losses start around 10-15% and only increase with distance. And that's with 100% consumption. Pipelines are far, far more efficient.

an electric motor is an order of magnitude more reliable than an internal combustion engine.

Not true. It depends on the individual motors. On most DEs the diesel end needs more ongoing maintenance, but has a much longer service life than the traction motors. Electric motors are really only more "reliable" in cars because most car owners can't be arsed to do the required maintenance on IC engines. And then there's the batteries - oh fuck the batteries. Basically, teslas are disposable cars.

The only thing gasoline/diesel wins at is energy density and portability in places without any infrastructure,

Also long distance. Also long term storage. Continuous operation. Overall life of the vehicle.

The reason it's cheaper to charge your car at home,

…is largely due to electrical generation and transmission subsidies. Your tesla burns tax dollars along with coal. And its not just the coulombs. Every mile you drive is burning battery capacity, and that costs. A lot. Go to a larger used car lot some time and you'll find rows and rows of used fleet teslas and leafs and whatnot, all within a few dozen miles of their warrantied battery life. Then check out what it costs to replace those batteries without the electric car subsidies that make selling teslas even possible.

Electric cars do have their niche (so do golf carts), but they are not the vehicles of the future, and they sure as fuck aren't the environmental solution they're sold as.

There is no one size fits all solution.

 

[SquirtingYawn]

2017 saw him lose not one, but two more sweethearts: Doopie (who Chris drove away with his signature creepy stalker behavior) and Jessica Quinn (who was yet another troll pretending to like him).

Is it 100% certain that Jessica was a troll? She had plenty of fat fetish stuff liked on her FB profile and according to one of the Idea Guys when he pretended to be Chris he managed to get Jessica to cyber with him and send n00dz.

 

[Count Olaf]

Is it 100% certain that Jessica was a troll? She had plenty of fat fetish stuff liked on her FB profile and according to one of the Idea Guys when he pretended to be Chris he managed to get Jessica to cyber with him and send n00dz.

Yeah she was a troll. Naturally Chris was oblivious to it until she gave up and sent Chris a link to an instagram account of a woman from Boston from which all the pictures of "Jessica Quinn" came. Even before that there was a lot that made it obvious to everyone on the internet but Chris that she was fake. She said she was from Orange, Virginia, but public record searches never found anyone with that name living there. None of the photos she was sending Chris were available on reverse image searches, and after their second break-up Jessica mentioned that her "real" facebook had been hacked.

CWCki said she was a white knight before she became a troll, but in the end she was a person playing a character making the autistic puppet dance, like Kasey and Liquid and all the others.

 

[Terrorist]

The day Chris turned 40, and the largest war in Europe since World War II happens. Who would've known.

Yet another brother war propagated by agents of (((Leon J. Bearstein))).

 

[SquirtingYawn]

Yeah she was a troll...

Thanks a lot for all the information. Despite not being True and Honest, I feel like whoever they were had a genuine fat fetish and in the same note a 'genuine' sexual attraction to Chris, at the very least?

 

[King Kiwi]

Back in my day, school kids did not have sex. There were no jocks or nerds, just a random collections of evil teenagers barely tolerating each other until 3.00pm when freedom came.

This is what normal teenage life is like, not some disney high school romance drama.

No preps exist.

They're normally Barbies turned real by the Blue Fart fairy.

 

[redcent]

No preps exist.

They're normally Barbies turned real by the Blue Fart fairy.

Maybe in other places

I don't think as a teen I categorised kids in groups much but more of an individual basis, especially when the lines got blurred. I can't really think of any nerd boys I knew at school, but some girls were into nerd things. The guys who did well in maths science also did well in sports. You could point out say a preppy girl or a goth girl. But then the goth also like nerdy things. Then you have jock girls who weren't preppy, it goes on.

Maybe it's just me or it's just different in the states.

 

[Mesh Gear Fox]

Thanks a lot for all the information. Despite not being True and Honest, I feel like whoever they were had a genuine fat fetish and in the same note a 'genuine' sexual attraction to Chris, at the very least?

I don't think any sexual attraction was involved. Jessica was just a character played by one or more people. It was a trolling operation, like all his previous "theoretical girlfriends".

 

[Count Olaf]

Thanks a lot for all the information. Despite not being True and Honest, I feel like whoever they were had a genuine fat fetish and in the same note a 'genuine' sexual attraction to Chris, at the very least?

I don't think any sexual attraction was involved. Jessica was just a character played by one or more people. It was a trolling operation, like all his previous "theoretical girlfriends".

It wouldn't surprise me to learn that the puppeteer behind the Jessica persona did get some sexual thrill from trolling Chris. However, if they did I think it might have only been at first. It was all fun and sexy games until Chris, being Chris, took it way to far. But I think on the whole it was, going along with what Mesh Gear said, just another way of making the fat autistic troon make a fool of himself again.

 

[Branman65]

No, they were definitely having sex. They just didn't tell you about it/ you weren't invited.

Well like 12 if you’re not in a nigger school or redneck school. But no high school isn’t euphoria it’s pretty uneventful

 

[AnOminous]

Well like 12 if you’re not in a nigger school or redneck school. But no high school isn’t euphoria it’s pretty uneventful

I hated high school. I'm actually deeply suspicious of anyone who ever attended high school and didn't ever, even once, in an idle moment, want to shoot the place up. I was fairly conflicted when Columbine happened, because I had only previously thought of the concept abstractly, as it was addressed in Heathers and The Basketball Diaries, and similar alienated fucked-up youth media.

 

[Branman65]

No more games
No more sonic
No more legos
No more fun
No more McDonald’s

40
That 11 years past 29
11 more years then I needed or wanted
Boring
I am always bitchy
No fun - for anybody
40
You are getting greedy
Act your old age
Relax - this won’t hurt

 

[Branman65]

I hated high school. I'm actually deeply suspicious of anyone who ever attended high school and didn't ever, even once, in an idle moment, want to shoot the place up. I was fairly conflicted when Columbine happened, because I had only previously thought of the concept abstractly, as it was addressed in Heathers and The Basketball Diaries, and similar alienated fucked-up youth media.

The only thing that prevented me was fear of going to hell

 

[The handsome tard]

Do they allow you to celebrate your birthday in prison/mental facilities in some shape or form? On one side, its fucking prison, on the other, come on, everyone at least deserves some good on their birthday.

I hated high school. I'm actually deeply suspicious of anyone who ever attended high school and didn't ever, even once, in an idle moment, want to shoot the place up. I was fairly conflicted when Columbine happened, because I had only previously thought of the concept abstractly, as it was addressed in Heathers and The Basketball Diaries, and similar alienated fucked-up youth media.

I think its healthy to at least desire to shoot up your school/workplace a few times.

The difference is if you fucking act on it.