Lolcow James Lloyd Evans / Lloyd Evans / John Cedars / The Reluctant Apostate / JWWatch / @cedarsjwsurvey - Self-appointed figurehead of ex-JWs, anti-sex abuse campaigner who spends his donations on hookers because he lacks "total mastery of his penis"

[NoReturn]

(remember the cult that kept the corpse of the woman who headed it thinking she'd rise from death?)

Love Has Won. Strangely enough, check this out:

Crazy juubees in Colorado.

 

[LocalFireDept]

Love Has Won. Strangely enough, check this out:
<image snip>
Crazy juubees in Colorado.

There must something in the water there...

 

[DatBepisTho]

Came for JW talk, staying to see if he truly gains mastery over his dick in the end.

Will say there's not many JWs in my region because Baptists and Catholics have the run of the place so to speak. I do get one of their their "learn about the promise/kingdom of God" pamphlets in the mail around the holidays tho so they're definitely here somewhere.
The pamphlet(s) aren't that spectacular as they're not particularly lulzy in art or message unfortunately... but I'll try to save one if the lady sending them out sends another one soon.

 

[Butter Keks]

@Hongourable Madisha I don't have anything to add, but I wanted to compliment you on your OP and supplementary material in the post after. This is one of the best I've ever seen and you should be commended for your work.

 

[Captain Manning]

I have an IRL friend who is a JW. I can confirm they're extremely controlling. She was apostate for a while because the Elder's found out she shacked up with a guy outside of wedlock.

I don't think they're AS batshit insane as Scientologists, because Scilons will go full on life ruination if you try to fuck with them, but there's some definite similarities.

Also, this is a fantistic OP @Hongourable Madisha. My compliments to you.

 

[Sektor 37]

In my current suburb, which Americans would describe as "upscale", I've had one doorknocker and two handwritten letters (each addressed to "The Householder") from JWs in the past 13 years. The handwritten letters are an interesting wrinkle on a theme; I'm guessing these are from local Jovos who are too old to go out and witness.

Ha, this just reminded me I received one of those letters (but printed) and a tract the other day from a local. Thankfully just to Current Resident, and I'm not on his list. While I AM wondering about the answers to life's big questions, I don't think I'll be checking in with JW.ORG for answers.

 

[Sektor 37]

See what I never truly understood about JW's was the whole anointed 144,000 thing. Like why even bother growing your memberbase if only a certain amount is promised anything? Isn't that just gonna make things harder for you?

Revelation 7:4 King James Version

4 And I heard the number of them which were sealed: and there were sealed an hundred and forty and four thousand of all the tribes of the children of Israel.​

Just want to point out the 144,000 thing is not exclusive to the JWs, and there's a fair amount of debate over the meaning. If you add "anointed" to the number in your search, you're going to get all JW results.

 

[HunterHearstHelmsley]

Sorry for getting snippy: the last few weeks have been tense with users claiming jannies need to clean up threads do to other users not being happy. Clown world got us on edge…

Sorry I was just poking fun. I enjoyed the anecdotes, I didn’t want them to be removed by moderators.

On topic, I think Cedars is kind of retarded. The whole “my sexuality was tampered with” because he was told masturbating is bad sounds like massive cope for being a sexual deviant. The prohibition of masturbation is a general Christian teaching which has been taught for over a thousand years to HIS forefathers. Were they all sexual deviants?

 

[Fupa Control]

So here for this chance to fellowship with you brothers and sisters. I actually recommended his channel to someone like one week before the Thailand shit came out. I’ll be back later with a deep dive into the Mike and Kim feud.

I still cannot fucking believe he humped all his computer crap up into the main part of D’s parents house to make that confession stream. This guy is something else.

eta: confession stream, not video

 

[Blacklight]

I'm getting more entertainment out of reading the testimonials from Kiwi JW's than the lolcow himself.

 

[Hongourable Madisha]

So here for this chance to fellowship with you brothers and sisters. I actually recommended his channel to someone like one week before the Thailand shit came out. I’ll be back later with a deep dive into the Mike and Kim feud.

I still cannot fucking believe he humped all his computer crap up into the main part of D’s parents house to make that confession stream. This guy is something else.

eta: confession stream, not video

While they were busy looking after his kids for him, no less.
That's reminded me of more Lloydisms like calling his basement/studio setup "the bunker", I'll add them to the glossary. It's getting long so I'll rearrange and structure it a bit too.

 

[Karen™]

Jehovah, I love this website. Thanks to OP and all the ex-JW kiwis willing to "pl" for making such a fun and informative thread for us!

Lloyd's also a fairly decent Twitter cow. Likely quite a few potential calves in his orbit, for those inclined to dig.

Slapfight 1 (thread, https://archive.ph/Op0eN):

Spoiler: +4

Slapfight 2 (thread, https://archive.ph/6KHzi):

Spoiler: +2

:

 

[Alex Krycek]

I dated an Ex-JW suffice to say she was fucking insane.

 

[Hongourable Madisha]

Jehovah, I love this website. Thanks to OP and all the ex-JW kiwis willing to "pl" for making such a fun and informative thread for us!

Lloyd's also a fairly decent Twitter cow. Likely quite a few potential calves in his orbit, for those inclined to dig.

Slapfight 1 (thread, https://archive.ph/Op0eN):
View attachment 3052810View attachment 3052811

Spoiler: +4

View attachment 3052812View attachment 3052813View attachment 3052814View attachment 3052815

Slapfight 2 (thread, https://archive.ph/6KHzi):
View attachment 3052816

Spoiler: +2

View attachment 3052817View attachment 3052818

:
View attachment 3052819

Ahhh that's fantastic. That's a perfect example of what I was trying to describe with his cargo cult logic and "critical thinking", he just throws around terms like "ad hominem" inaccurately, as if the very words are a magic spell to make him win the argument.

edit: also holy shit, he looks just like that emoticon, just flipped

 

[Least Concern]

Frankly, I can't think of anything more pointless than spending years of one's life seething over a religious group that one's no longer involved with. Wouldn't be better to just live one's life based on one's own choices and newfound beliefs now that one's free from the influence of what was supposedly a cult?

Having seen more than a few vids by ex-JWs a few years ago when I was on a binge of cult-related media, I think most of them sincerely wants to help peel people away from the cult, and who better than someone who grew up inside it and knows deeply what they believe and how to relate to them? The thing is that I think some of these people (like Telltale) want to talk them into atheism as he believes, whereas talking them down to a more mainstream form of Christianity is going to be more successful in my opinion - "maybe it's not so wrong to worship and praise God the most high in a different way" is probably easier for a JW to hear than "there is no God, there is no heaven, there is no point to anything but your own hedonistic pleasure."

To the ex-JWs here: What is the justification for the belief that Jesus was executed on a pole instead of a cross? Isn't "crucified" and variations of that word actually used in the Bible, and doesn't that term necessarily imply a cross?

 

[NoReturn]

To the ex-JWs here: What is the justification for the belief that Jesus was executed on a pole instead of a cross? Isn't "crucified" and variations of that word actually used in the Bible, and doesn't that term necessarily imply a cross?

I'm not one, but I am from one of the groups of people they heavily targeted back in the day.
The answer they tend to give is:

1. The Greek word used to describe the thing Jesus was nailed to is "stauros" (σταυρός), which means "stake".​

but really this is just a "talk around the thing" bullshit excuse because...

2. They don't use the cross symbol because they want to "avoid idolatry" which means that in their mind if you pray at the foot of a cross or use one as a focus object, you might as well be worshipping the cross itself.​

 

[HunterHearstHelmsley]

What is the justification for the belief that Jesus was executed on a pole instead of a cross?

In a word: autism.

They look at the technical meaning of the word and say “hey, this doesn’t TECHNICALLY mean cross, why are you all saying it is one?” Like many such quasi-Christian endeavours, they also have the belief that all Christians prior to them are wrong. With those that I met, it was a point of pride to know the secret truth about things everybody else doesn’t.

 

[Fialovy]

I'm not one, but I am from one of the groups of people they heavily targeted back in the day.
The answer they tend to give is:

1. The Greek word used to describe the thing Jesus was nailed to is "stauros" (σταυρός), which means "stake".​

but really this is just a "talk around the thing" bullshit excuse because...

2. They don't use the cross symbol because they want to "avoid idolatry" which means that in their mind if you pray at the foot of a cross or use one as a focus object, you might as well be worshipping the cross itself.​

Which is silly since crucifixtion was a very common Roman form of execution historically.

Mormons also don't do the cross but that is more because from what I understand it is more just they want to focus on the life of Jesus more than the death IIRC

 

[Drama Fan]

I didnt know there were British Jehovahs witnesses?

At least part of the the JW'ing of the British Iles was through Caribbean people who were converted and then immigrated. It's the backstory for a character in White Teeth.

 

[Captain Manning]

To the ex-JWs here: What is the justification for the belief that Jesus was executed on a pole instead of a cross? Isn't "crucified" and variations of that word actually used in the Bible, and doesn't that term necessarily imply a cross?

It's basically what @NoReturn just said. They believe Jesus died on a "torture stake," because they believe stauros can only mean stake. Consequently, Watchtower artwork depicts as such. Although, I don't know if if specifically calculated to avoid idolatry or they actually believe it.



The evidence in the Bible against it is that there were a plural number of nails driven through Jesus' wrists, and they affixed the "King of the Jews" notification over his head, and not his hands.

One of the things you learn about the JWs is they either adopt, or continue to adhere to, translations that are not, or no longer, accepted in more mainstream Christianity. Indeed, most scholars think that "Jehovah" is a really shit translation of Yahweh, so you generally won't encounter it much outside of JW stuff, or really outdated translations of the Bible. Elsewhere, it's always Yahweh, God, Lord, him, etc. Meanwhile, my neighbor friend used to always tell me "Jehovah loves you" instead of "Jesus (or God) loves you." They insist that is the name of god, and it has to be used every time you refer to him. It's weird.

Also, I love how this moron complains that he engaged in cybersex because the JWs sexually repressed him. I mean, okay.... the JW's are controlling weirdos, but you were a married man when you did that. I think pretty much any Christian congregation would frown upon what you did.