Cultcow Russell Greer / Mr. Green / @ just_some_dude_named_russell29 / A Safer Nevada PAC - Swift-Obsessed Sex Pest, Convicted of E-Stalking, "Eggshell Skull Plaintiff" Pro Se Litigant, Homeless, aspiring brothel owner

[DrJonesHat]

I didn't mean to murder her officer. It was my anxiety. No officer, why are you arresting me? Let me explain sir

Sadly, I think he might try that if he did manage to kill someone on purpose.

 

[The Un-Clit]

This is far funnier than it has any right to be.

You just reminded me to upload Mr. Hands' final video to the 'RL death videos' thread. I'm sure they will love it, and it counts since he did die in hospital from massive horsecock trauma, even if he didn't die directly on camera. What a way to earn a Darwin award, eh?

*edit* I see this has been well commented on already. Trust my fellow Russ Autists to know all about The Handsyman.

 

[DrJonesHat]

massive horsecock trauma

That's going to be the name of my band if I ever start one.

 

[Rasputin's Side Piece]

That's going to be the name of my band if I ever start one.

That poor horse. He probably never got over it.

 

[DrJonesHat]

That poor horse. He probably never got over it.

The horse was probably very confused.

 

[Supreme Sundae]

Happy birthday, Russ!

31 is still plenty young to be the next teen heartthrob.

Lots of tween pop idols were discovered and rose to superstardom in their 30s. Just look at Bieber, Shawn Mendes, NSync, One Direction, etc.

I find this funny because Chris Kirkpatrick (NSYNC) was like 27 whe they blew up in '98. He was Russell's age by the time they stopped performing together.

 

[DrJonesHat]

I find this funny because Chris Kirkpatrick (NSYNC) was like 27 whe they blew up in '98. He was Russell's age by the time they stopped performing together.

Now you have to let Russ explain why Chris Kirkpatrick being famous is totally unfair when he probably didn't write a single song! Where are his fruits?!

 

[moocow]

he did die in hospital from massive horsecock trauma

Imagine being a fly on the wall in that hospital that day. Oh the conversations you'd hear.

The horse was probably very confused.

Well, I mean ... from his perspective he was apparently getting regular helpings of tight (to him) boi pussy. So who knows, maybe he pulled the "a hole's a hole" lever in his head and just rolled with it. It's not like they showed the horse's face or anything, so he could still probably pursue a political career if he wanted

 

[DrJonesHat]

Imagine being a fly on the wall in that hospital that day. Oh the conversations you'd hear.


Well, I mean ... from his perspective he was apparently getting regular helpings of tight (to him) boi pussy. So who knows, maybe he pulled the "a hole's a hole" lever in his head and just rolled with it. It's not like they showed the horse's face or anything, so he could still probably pursue a political career if he wanted

And we've wandered from mocking Russ on his birthday to talking about a guy dying from anal sex with a horse. Or Monday, as we call it around here.

 

[The Great Citracett]

Now you have to let Russ explain why Chris Kirkpatrick being famous is totally unfair when he probably didn't write a single song! Where are his fruits?!

Chris didn't buy Russell's book, so he never could master these awesome moves:

BUY IT!

 

[Pee Cola]

Chris didn't buy Russell's book, so he never could master these awesome moves:
View attachment 3053295

BUY IT!

This is still one of the greatest videos on the whole of the internet. Semper Fi, @The Great Citracett.

 

[DSP's Tax Lawyer]

Chris didn't buy Russell's book, so he never could master these awesome moves:
View attachment 3053295

BUY IT!

Which book is he trying to sell that will give me awesome dance moves? Is it the one about Taylor swift sucking him his penis or the one about why he sued Utah so he could pay to have sex with your daughter?

 

[StinkySnack]

Chris didn't buy Russell's book, so he never could master these awesome moves:
View attachment 3053295

BUY IT!

Always makes me so uneasy to see him in motion. His movements are unsettlingly disjointed, wooden, and sudden. Very much like Samara/Sadako from The Ring.

 

[DSP's Tax Lawyer]

Always makes me so uneasy to see him in motion. His movements are unsettlingly disjointed, wooden, and sudden. Very much like Samara/Sadako from The Ring.

Well you know what they say. Accept a dollar from Russell on venmo and 7 days later he will hunt you down. But instead of a television, he crawls through your window

 

[The Great Citracett]

Which book is he trying to sell that will give me awesome dance moves? Is it the one about Taylor swift sucking him his penis or the one about why he sued Utah so he could pay to have sex with your daughter?

It's the Taylor book.

I relied on his misrepresentations and read it, and 5 years later I still can't even do the Charleston.

I'm suing.

 

[️ronic]

WOMP WOMP

 

[Pee Cola]

Always makes me so uneasy to see him in motion. His movements are unsettlingly disjointed, wooden, and sudden. Very much like Samara/Sadako from The Ring.

I was thinking more along the lines of one of the puppeteers from Thunderbirds having a seizure, but I guess you have to be a bit of a boomer to understand the reference.

WOMP WOMP
View attachment 3053363

He'll be back, and his new account will stand out like dog's balls because he's about as good at camouflage as a polar bear in the middle of the Sahara.

 

[DSP's Tax Lawyer]

It's the Taylor book.

I relied on his misrepresentations and read it, and 5 years later I still can't even do the Charleston.

I'm suing.

Are you looking for damages in the form of a date, dance lessons, or a penis sucking session?

 

[Pee Cola]

Are you looking for damages in the form of a date, dance lessons, or a penis sucking session?

@The Great Citracett getting him his penis sucked by Russhole? That'd be like putting your junk into a bowl of parmesan cheese flavoured Jell-O.

 

[Useful_Mistake]

Re: Russ' response:

The court is closed now, so if he still sent something over there till the end of today, the earliest we'll see it is tomorrow morning