- Joined
- Apr 17, 2020
This is a subject that has bothered me for a long, long time. The basic flow of thought:
This is a simplification but it really is just a nasty Ouroboros of Shit and I do not like it, I do not like it at all. Not because I agree with one side or the other but because I agree with both. The obvious better option is, much like in the case of a wild animal, to let things be. Just let it be and do little things if you feel like it, but nothing that will take away the "pain of life" for your subject(s) because you're actually harming them twice. I both like this idea and vehemently dislike it. So it goes.
I am well aware most people could not care less about the quality of others' lives and their feelings, but I know there are at least a few other people here who feel the way I do and understand this dilemma. I am personally an extremely empathetic person who, like pretty much everyone else, has also gone through a great deal of pain in my life. I know the value of those experiences and I have become better equipped to handle future instances of pain. And of course just like everyone else there are a few events I would have been better off not having experienced. These absolute tragedies are not really what I am talking about though.
What makes it extra hard for me is that I had to spend most of my life going against my nature and being anything BUT empathetic, so now that I don't have to do that anymore, I am even more at the mercy of my "flaw". For example I feed and care for the countless feral cats where I live, and they are all at least partially or wholly dependent on me for food and I know that. Luckily for them I am in a position where that won't be a problem and they will always have their food, but that is beside the point. My point is that there are a bajillion other cats out there that aren't being fed and cared for, and who are also going through pain because of it. But that pain shapes them into a well-adjusted tool and benefits them in the end. So why do I feel bad when I think about hungry animals?
It hurts me to think about people hurting, but I know my own hurt has molded me into something I can respect.
This dichotomy becomes even more difficult to balance or cope with in those of us who have had children. You are compelled by your love and instincts to protect them from everything at all costs...but doing that, especially to a human, pretty much guarantees they will end up with a poor adulthood. I actually have a theory that this is why humans keep pets, because when we have just one or two or sometimes a few of our own personal pets that we can safely and reasonably care for until they die, we can baby them as much as we want and make them as happy as we want...but even this can lead to stuff like overfeeding and health-related issues. Is it better for the animal to suffer a slight amount of pain for a longer, healthier life? Or just give it whatever it wants all the time and if it balloons into a basketball shaped animal and dies 3 years earlier than it should, is that a worthy trade off for the constant stream of happiness and lack of disappointment? It seems like the answer is obvious but it's not that easy.
This leads right into the most important question: How much pain is the right amount?
If you're empathetic like me, how do you deal with this shit? I like to think I manage okay but still struggle with it internally. I think that is really all you CAN do.
If you're a sociopath who hates living creatures, I am sorry for you :'{ you know what, if you want to make fun of me go right ahead. I am impervious...because of pain...FUCK! You see this shit? Even a sociopath should at least be able to see the emotional math involved in this and understand why someone who could care would feel discombobulated. At least we can all agree that bullying is good.
Pain exists. Pain is good, pain can be healthy. We need pain.
But it breaks your heart that pain exists, you want to protect people from pain.
But if you do, they are robbed of the strength that comes with adversity and experiencing that pain.
But it breaks your heart that pain exists, you want to protect people from pain.
But if you do, they are robbed of the strength that comes with adversity and experiencing that pain.
This is a simplification but it really is just a nasty Ouroboros of Shit and I do not like it, I do not like it at all. Not because I agree with one side or the other but because I agree with both. The obvious better option is, much like in the case of a wild animal, to let things be. Just let it be and do little things if you feel like it, but nothing that will take away the "pain of life" for your subject(s) because you're actually harming them twice. I both like this idea and vehemently dislike it. So it goes.
I am well aware most people could not care less about the quality of others' lives and their feelings, but I know there are at least a few other people here who feel the way I do and understand this dilemma. I am personally an extremely empathetic person who, like pretty much everyone else, has also gone through a great deal of pain in my life. I know the value of those experiences and I have become better equipped to handle future instances of pain. And of course just like everyone else there are a few events I would have been better off not having experienced. These absolute tragedies are not really what I am talking about though.
What makes it extra hard for me is that I had to spend most of my life going against my nature and being anything BUT empathetic, so now that I don't have to do that anymore, I am even more at the mercy of my "flaw". For example I feed and care for the countless feral cats where I live, and they are all at least partially or wholly dependent on me for food and I know that. Luckily for them I am in a position where that won't be a problem and they will always have their food, but that is beside the point. My point is that there are a bajillion other cats out there that aren't being fed and cared for, and who are also going through pain because of it. But that pain shapes them into a well-adjusted tool and benefits them in the end. So why do I feel bad when I think about hungry animals?
It hurts me to think about people hurting, but I know my own hurt has molded me into something I can respect.
This dichotomy becomes even more difficult to balance or cope with in those of us who have had children. You are compelled by your love and instincts to protect them from everything at all costs...but doing that, especially to a human, pretty much guarantees they will end up with a poor adulthood. I actually have a theory that this is why humans keep pets, because when we have just one or two or sometimes a few of our own personal pets that we can safely and reasonably care for until they die, we can baby them as much as we want and make them as happy as we want...but even this can lead to stuff like overfeeding and health-related issues. Is it better for the animal to suffer a slight amount of pain for a longer, healthier life? Or just give it whatever it wants all the time and if it balloons into a basketball shaped animal and dies 3 years earlier than it should, is that a worthy trade off for the constant stream of happiness and lack of disappointment? It seems like the answer is obvious but it's not that easy.
This leads right into the most important question: How much pain is the right amount?
If you're empathetic like me, how do you deal with this shit? I like to think I manage okay but still struggle with it internally. I think that is really all you CAN do.
If you're a sociopath who hates living creatures, I am sorry for you :'{ you know what, if you want to make fun of me go right ahead. I am impervious...because of pain...FUCK! You see this shit? Even a sociopath should at least be able to see the emotional math involved in this and understand why someone who could care would feel discombobulated. At least we can all agree that bullying is good.
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