Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

[yourdadscumdumpster]

I'm half tempted to release a 600 or whatever page self-published book with all his tweets in like size 4 font called "The Annotated Patrick S. Tomlinson" with all the proceeds going to Quasi and, selling at cost, the goal being to outsell all his existing books.

Without access to his account directly, I can get an export of all his tweets for $775. From that point on, we can keep it accurate going forward. (I'd recommend we link to the full export in the main post or a highlighted reply).

Before I look at dropping nearly $800, I'll see if there's another easy way for me to get that tweet export done for free using existing API access or some form of open source/libre software.

I just realized what fictional character Rick is. He's Otto from A Fish Called Wanda.

But more fat. And stupid. And without Otto's actual badassery. Okay so basically he's just a fat angry cucked retard who you couldn't put in a movie without offending someone because he would obviously be a vicious stereotype. Oh, but he's a white male so it's okay.

It is truly frightening how close Otto's cadence of speech and physical mannerisms are to Patrick's. Only two main differences I see - Pat's corpulence and Otto's lack of a conspicuous waddle as he walks. (The latter is why I would be shocked Pat thought his vandalism video would ever work is proof, except I know that there is no force or entity - be it doubt, intellect or even G-d - that is more powerful than Pat's shocking lack of self awareness.)

 

[r00]

I doubt he's doing any research anyway, he probably hasn't even looked on wikipedia.

Why would a special boy like Patrick need to research? If he chooses to write a book on something its because he already has such in depth knowledge on the subject.

I love when Patrick acts like he understands the first thing about British culture and history. This book is easily going to be his worst yet. You know he won't be able to resist writing everything in an accent. It'll be like Irvine Welsh meets Dick van Dyke, but not in space.

 

[Ophelia]

You know he won't be able to resist writing everything in an accent. It'll be like Irvine Welsh meets Dick van Dyke, but not in space.

“Cor blimey, guvna! There ‘peers to be a spot o’ moider!”

 

[AnOminous]

Before I look at dropping nearly $800, I'll see if there's another easy way for me to get that tweet export done for free using existing API access or some form of open source/libre software.

I personally wouldn't pay a dime for anything Fatty wrote, but you could probably try crowdfunding it, maybe on OnA too. I wouldn't be surprised if there are a half-dozen or so people willing to drop a Benjamin or two to fuck this idiot up. You might consider doing it crypto although putting much effort into that is probably a waste of time. If you already have it use it, just don't re-use addresses.

 

[yourdadscumdumpster]

I personally wouldn't pay a dime for anything Fatty wrote, but you could probably try crowdfunding it, maybe on OnA too. I wouldn't be surprised if there are a half-dozen or so people willing to drop a Benjamin or two to fuck this idiot up. You might consider doing it crypto although putting much effort into that is probably a waste of time. If you already have it use it, just don't re-use addresses.

I'm going to start by making sure I've exhaustively looked at the API options and I've pinged an acquaintance who used to work at the firm who offers these exports - maybe he can hook us up for the good of the greater lulz.

 

[Maldron the Assassin]

Patrick S. Tomlinson has bigger tits than Riley Reid.

As the president of the Riley Reid fan club I object to this gross comparison and demand an apology.

 

[MilkThePig]

Holy shit, is all this from today? I’m a newfag to Pat still learning my way around. Is this a normal amount of Twitter activity for him?

Somebody on onaforums posted stats of his Twitter usage recently and found that he tweets an average of 87 times per day. Also a couple of days ago, he tweeted 331 times in a 48 hour period. He's also paid lawyers twice to help get him his account back when it got suspended. He confirmed the first time he did this it cost him $5K, so there's every chance he's spent $10K just to have a free Twitter account.

That platform is his life; the cornerstone of his existence. I challenge you to find a person who is more addicted to Twitter than Patrick.

 

[JCDenthog]

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What the fuck is he talking about, dissection of donated bodies was made legal after the Burke and Hare murders in the 1820s. By the 1900s it had long been a non-issue. Not to mention, they took place in Edinburgh, not London. I'm going to be kind and assume he miswrote 1900s for 1800s, though I'm probably being too kind given how retarded Pat is about literally everything and especially about everything involving his writing. I doubt he's doing any research anyway, he probably hasn't even looked on wikipedia. Which I just did to get the exact dates for the Burke/Hare body snatching and the exact location where they happened. I'm not aware of any similarly famous London cases.

I bet if someone pointed it out to him, he'd just double-down on it. He's so reflexively oppositional about being confronted or corrected. It's like he can't take the ego hit of admitting error, ever, in even the smallest and most harmless of ways. What happened in his childhood to make him this way?

Fat's doubling down is my favorite characteristic of his. His detractors must always be wrong and Fat must always be the foremost expert on everything.

 

[A Sunset]

Somebody on onaforums posted stats of his Twitter usage recently and found that he tweets an average of 87 times per day. Also a couple of days ago, he tweeted 331 times in a 48 hour period. He's also paid lawyers twice to help get him his account back when it got suspended. He confirmed the first time he did this it cost him $5K, so there's every chance he's spent $10K just to have a free Twitter account.

That platform is his life; the cornerstone of his existence. I challenge you to find a person who is more addicted to Twitter than Patrick.

Imagine being addicted to Twitter. An existential nightmare. Outside Pat's house, the Great Lake awaits - beautiful parks, museums, coffee shops, record stores.....roving packs of feral black men if he goes down the wrong street. Hours from Chicago. Likely on welfare so has all day to write, perhaps go to the gym, meditate, spend time with his fat wife.

Instead, Fatrick, a man in his late 40s whose younger years are behind him.....a man whose time matters more than ever. A man who is in his waning years to leave a real legacy....

This man, Fatrick, hunches over his phone, his thumbs furiously typing as carpal tunnel sets in (preventing real writing), constantly posting the same macro about stalking all day. Trying to finally defeat those dang dirty trolls who pose as his toilet and call him fat. Everything around him goes to the wayside as the seasons pass, time passing, with nothing changing and nothing improving.

All the while, Quasi's payment he owes only grows in interest. He knows bankruptcy is looming. Yet he can't stop Tweeting like the fat, social-media addicted Pigman that he is.


This is the state of Fat Pat, the fattest faggot on Earth!

 

[instythot]

I'm going to start by making sure I've exhaustively looked at the API options and I've pinged an acquaintance who used to work at the firm who offers these exports - maybe he can hook us up for the good of the greater lulz.

You know, I bet a person could just ask twitter support. They are in the business of making their user generated content widely available and you can probably pretend it's for a research project on cyber harassment or something

 

[your stupid]

I'm going to start by making sure I've exhaustively looked at the API options and I've pinged an acquaintance who used to work at the firm who offers these exports - maybe he can hook us up for the good of the greater lulz.

The twitter v2 API has been thoroughly nerfed for this very purpose. Rather than spend money on Fatrick, I'd recommend you try using twint to scrape his history. It's been kind of hit and miss lately, so if you use it, be prepared to make a few attempts. It's also probably going to take awhile to completely archive his tweets, since he's well past the 100k mark.

 

[ImportantOpinions]

He's been afraid to try marijuana his whole life. He may be on drugs, but they are likely not the recreational variety.

Yeah, does anyone have his tweets about marijuana? IIRC, he talks about it like a 7-year-old at a DARE assembly pledging that he'll never ever do a drug because drugs are for losers!

But then getting drunk every night and being on prescription pills doesn't count, because he says so. He still gets to lord his "I've never tried a drug because I'm not an addict" superiority over the rest of us. When the reality is he never had friends, so nobody ever offered him a bong rip at a high school house party, and he copes with that by pretending he's "above" weed.

I'd honestly mail him a care package for free if I knew he'd be cool about it, because the tweets from first time stoned Patrick would be so worth it. But we all know he'd try to get me arrested for federal drug trafficking, and that "I'm telling teacher" narc mentality is why nobody ever passed him a blunt.

 

[yourdadscumdumpster]

The twitter v2 API has been thoroughly nerfed for this very purpose. Rather than spend money on Fatrick, I'd recommend you try using twint to scrape his history. It's been kind of hit and miss lately, so if you use it, be prepared to make a few attempts. It's also probably going to take awhile to completely archive his tweets, since he's well past the 100k mark.

Yeah, that was the exact type of API/service I was referring to - Twitter's history of making their API progressively less useful is pretty well documented, sadly.

 

[AnOminous]

That platform is his life; the cornerstone of his existence. I challenge you to find a person who is more addicted to Twitter than Patrick.

For someone so addicted to it, you'd think he'd be better at it and do something with it more sophisticated than mindlessly childing at anyone who responds to him like some kind of retarded irc babblebot.

Yeah, does anyone have his tweets about marijuana? IIRC, he talks about it like a 7-year-old at a DARE assembly pledging that he'll never ever do a drug because drugs are for losers!

Imagine being such a fucking boomer while not being nearly old enough to be an actual boomer.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

That's awful. At least the bar meatloaf fusillade during the speeding ticket hearing wasn't in person.
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Lmaoooo if anyone is inclined to give the lore behind this I’d love to read it. I unironically love and respect the pests for the years of hard work they’ve put into making this piece of shit’s life so funny.

 

[Die Dunkle Maus]

I have to ask, is the Lizard King a member of the house of Windsor or are we dealing with a different Reptilian here?

The Lizard King is from an Advanced Dungeons & Dragons (1st edition) module, "Tomb of the Lizard King" (at least the illustration used is from that source).

I'm embarrassed to know this and I am sorry.

 

[AnOminous]

The Lizard King is from an Advanced Dungeons & Dragons (1st edition) module, "Tomb of the Lizard King" (at least the illustration used is from that source).

I'm embarrassed to know this and I am sorry.

Or he could be referring to Jim Morrison. That sounds more boomery.

 

[Earthworm Foucault]

Apologies if this comparison has been made before but I was scrolling through the OP to get a quick rundown on Fatrick and I'm struck by how much his face reminds me of John Wayne Gacy if he had a bird's nest on his head. ("I will NOT unlock the handcuffs, child!")

 

[Somerville Dan]

Lmaoooo if anyone is inclined to give the lore behind this I’d love to read it. I unironically love and respect the pests for the years of hard work they’ve put into making this piece of shit’s life so funny.

Patrick went to traffic court and about a dozen or so of us crashed the Zoom meeting. There's a 10 minute supercut video and it's hilarious. I'll try to track it down tonight and share it.

 

[Die Dunkle Maus]

Or he could be referring to Jim Morrison. That sounds more boomery.

Hush, sweet little baby child.