How are mourning doves not extinct yet?

SandyCat

SandyCat

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Take a look at this dumb motherfucker right here 👇
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I put out birdseed every day for the past few years causing many of these retards to show up and they are by far the dumbest bird species I've seen out here

They rest directly in the open and don't seem to give a shit about anything. 3 of them were sitting in the gravel next to each other and a hawk grabbed one and flew off, the other two sat there not giving a single fuck despite their friend being murdered. When they lay down in the gravel my cat walks up to them and bats at them but they just sit there taking it until they get agitated enough to walk away a few feet and lay back down

One year a bobcat showed up, casually walked up to one of these dumb birds, picked it up with its mouth and walked off with it while the other doves nearby just went back to pecking the ground like nothing happened. Every other bird species bolted long before the bobcat got close but the doves couldn't care less

The only thing they seem afraid of is humans and each other when they're fighting over bird feed. I also forgot to mention one of them somehow managed to drown themselves in a very shallow water basin I put out for the birds

It's like they're suicidal
 
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They must be related in some way to these things.

crested_pigeon.c6409c3.width-800.ada94c9.jpg

This is an Australian Topknot or Crested pigeon. These things are so stupid they'll stand in the middle of the road in a flock and just let cars mow them down en masse. No fear of cats, no clue as to hide a nest from butcher birds, and how they're not extinct and indeed, thriving, is one of nature's mysteries.
 
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You see, they understand that an even dumber titty cat will put out feed for them and that they can just chill. Sure, maybe one of them gets eaten by a bobcat but the others survive and that's like our society today, every now and then globohomo gets a sacrifice, but the rest of us get to continue eating out tendies.
 
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Retink said:
You see, they understand that an even dumber titty cat will put out feed for them and that they can just chill. Sure, maybe one of them gets eaten by a bobcat but the others survive and that's like our society today, every now and then globohomo gets a sacrifice, but the rest of us get to continue eating out tendies.
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Dude... the birds represent our LIVES dude... that's deep...
 
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It's a mystery to me too. Have some retard dove stories of mine to further marvel over just how dumb these cute little butterballs are.

Put up a "Hey dumbass! This is solid glass, not a magic hole you can fly through!" decal on the sliding glass door they keep bonking themselves on? 48 hours later, one of them goes BAP! against the pane, six inches away, leaving a retard bird print (don't worry, he lived, there's clearly nothing of importance in their little skulls).

Move the bird feeder temporarily under the eaves so it doesn't get filled with snow during a storm? They will fucking ignore the feeder stuffed with seeds sitting 3 feet away, plainly visible, and will, after several minutes of great deliberation, leap at the empty space where it usually hangs, absolutely certain it must be there, but just invisible. Some of them have to do this more than once before they finally realize the feeder lying nearby is, indeed, real, and not a mirage placed there by evil fairies or something.

I've even seen them, standing in the middle of the platform feeder, up to their ankles in delicious millet, seemingly just... forget what the fuck to do with food halfway through a meal. As in stand there, staring at the pile of seeds intently, not eating. You can practically see the "Dove.exe is not responding" bluescreen in their eyes. After five minutes of this once, I finally snapped and said out loud to the fluffy dumbass, "Just EAT IT already!!" He blinked and looked at me, nibbled his beak thoughtfully, and then resumed eating, as if nothing at all had happened.

Oh, and in the winter, they like to roost next to exhausts, carbon monoxide be damned. This may explain a few things about my doves, actually...

Just A Fat Round Bird said:
They are smarter than you think, just pretending to be retards. A cunning ruse
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<looks at your name and avatar> Suspicious... :dove:
 
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Some JERK said:
I dunno. I haven't heard a peep out of @MourningDove in forever. I'm pretty sure she's extinct at least.
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I was so puzzled when I got notified about this thread. I try to lay-low and not make a spectacle of myself.
Just A Fat Round Bird said:
They are smarter than you think, just pretending to be retards. A cunning ruse
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Hello fellow birb.

Now for some mourning dove facts

-Mourning Doves are common across the continent and generally have prospered as people settled the landscape, however populations declined by about 15% between 1966 and 2015. Their conservation level is low concern.

-Mourning Doves can survive in the desert because they can drink brackish spring water (up to almost half the salinity of sea water) without becoming dehydrated the way humans would.

-The Mourning Dove is the most widespread and abundant game bird in North America. Every year hunters harvest more than 20 million, but the Mourning Dove remains one of our most abundant birds with a U.S. population estimated at 350 million.

My source: https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Mourning_Dove/overview
 
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I witnessed something today that has given me an answer to this question. Where I live, we have both mourning doves, and one of their larger, fatter cousins -- the Eurasian Collared Dove.

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Up until now, I'd always thought the collareds were smarter, as they don't (usually) crash into clearly-marked glass doors, try to walk through windowscreens, or forget to eat. But that's all changed. You see, it's springtime. Sexy time. Doves of all flavors have been cooing and dancing and shamelessly getting nasty on my deck. Mourning doves with mourning doves, collared doves with collared doves. Collared dove with... mourning dove? What?

While sitting nearby reading, I heard the dulcet tones of "Coo-hoooo-Coo-Hoo!" (Translation: "Eyy bby u wan some fukk?") from the deck, and I looked up to see not the two horny mourning doves that've been turning my deck into the set of a porno shoot for the last week, but a big, fat collared dove standing on his tippy-toes, puffed up to impress, cooing intently at the little lady mourning dove who was half his size. And, you know, the wrong species. (Apparently, I'm not the first person to see something like this, according to the video below.)


Much to his hormone-addled disappointment, she resolutely ignored him in what I assume was the bird equivalent of "Oh god, just ignore the creeper and he'll go away, but if he doesn't, I hope I remembered to put the mace in my purse..." and kept eating as he kept cooing lewdly at her, until eventually the local gaggle of magpies crashed the joint and scared everyone else away.

So what I'm getting at here is that mourning doves, as adorably dumb as they are, can at least figure out what species they should fuck. Unlike the Eurasian Collared Dove, who is either too stupid, or perhaps just too kinky, to live.

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