Artcow WogglebugLoveProductions / Cynthia Hanson / Cherie Anne Hapney - One Womanchild's Fruitless Quest to Make Her Cockroach Husbando a Household Name

What is the Wogglebug's sexual orientation?

  • Straight- He wants to bang the Beetle Princess and/or Sylvie

    Votes: 27 6.2%

  • Gay- He wants to bang Frogman

    Votes: 210 48.3%

  • Bisexual- He's down for a threesome with the Beetle Princess and Frogman

    Votes: 102 23.4%

  • Asexual- Like he even thinks about getting laid

    Votes: 96 22.1%
  • Total voters
    435
Andrew Neiman said:
What?? I mean, I know he’s your character and you can do whatever you want with him, but frankly I find this whole idea disturbing.
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Preposterous! Woggy is the only creature of his kind, therefore he's unable to feast on creatures of his kind. He can be an autophage at best.
 
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Archived the latest person who's totally going to make Cherie's dreams come true in exchange for thousands of dollars. https://archive.ph/uluvy

Cynthia's obviously lying about where this $7K is coming from. Either she's convinced mommy or auntie to throw more money away, likely by lying to them, or else she's selling drugs or her body in order to get her wogglefix. No one would ever owe Cherie money, and she doesn't have any friends, especially after she ruined the one real friendship she ever had.
Bubble Ba'ath said:
@Picklechu your time has come!

Also, she unironically describes the one successfull submission she has had so far as a "True and Honest" fan, which made me legit guffaw as I was prepping eggplant parm as this played.

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If I weren't swamped with school - MY PhD will be real, unlike "Professor" Knowitall's - I would absolutely write something that Cherie, being mentally incapacitated, wouldn't be able to understand was actually making fun of her and her bug husbando. She's dumb as a rock and everything about her and her world/characters is completely hilarious, so it really wouldn't be that difficult to do.

Kongo-Müller said:
Frogman's the perfect best man for the Wogglebug. Yes, the very best man. The best man uwu
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Wogglebug x Frogman OTP

uwu
 
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Trombonista said:
I don't see how my Genoma Buffalo Wild Wings fanfic would be anything more than a five-minute short.
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They managed to turn two stoned guys going to White Castle into a feature length movie, so I'm certain that someone could turn the story of a magical cockroach and his gay frog husband going to an overpriced sports bar/casual dining establishment into a movie too.

Bubble Ba'ath said:
@Picklechu your time has come!

Also, she unironically describes the one successfull submission she has had so far as a "True and Honest" fan, which made me legit guffaw as I was prepping eggplant parm as this played.

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I still can't believe anyone seriously speaks like this, she talks like an over the top caricature of a whiny, nasally dweeb.
I'm guessing that's the autism.
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Uberpenguin said:
I'm guessing that's the autism.
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It’s definitely the autism.

Some autistics on the mid to lower end of the spectrum have a very flat, monotone way of speaking. It’s a pretty common trait to take note of when going thorough diagnostic criteria. IIRC the only time Cynthia has shown something that could remotely resemble human emotional effect was when she was telling us about her wogglebug plush. The jaded internet user in me would normally see this as some sort of weird sexual excitement, but I’m legitimately wondering if Cynthia has ever felt sexual attraction to anything.
 
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Spastic Cologne said:
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Sharp as a spoon...
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My entry:
One time Wogglebug decided to make a fanfiction contest. The winner would have his fanfiction turned into an actual movie.
Evil wizard Dorian decided that he'll submit an entry. He was a deceptive sorcerer and he knew how to write it in a way that Woggy would like.
Wogglebug fell for Dorian's deception and granted him the main prize: his fanfic was made into an actual movie!
And then, when the movie was released Dorian SUED Woggy for using his story without compensation! Woggy LOST the lawsuit and Dorian became the sole owner of Wogglebug franchise!
The End.
 
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>6. The Wogglebug never actually gets involved with any adult content or situations. He is not sexually attracted to anyone.
So is his marriage with the Beetle Princess completely loveless? Is she doomed to a life with a man that is not attracted to her in the slightest, yet unable to divorce due to the bug kingdom laws?
edit: made my text white in a fit of retardation
 
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Bubble Ba'ath said:
Good news Wogglefam, your fanfiction efforts will no longer simply languish in this thread!
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In other words Cynthia has run out of things to write about and is soliciting others to do the hard work for her. This isn't going to end well.

Monolith said:
If you want to excite kids, you should try to educate them instead of just talking about how to behave. For instance, I think they'd love to learn about cockroach anatomy.
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But that's all Cynthia can do. She's incapable of thinking beyond the basics. In better hands Woggie could be a force for good in actually teaching kids real things but that's not her interest or her skill set. She writes in the most basic ways. Everybody is either a goody all the time or they're evil because they talk down to Woggie. Her world is one of absolutes and black and white thinking.

XYZpdq said:
holy shit if this is even a fraction as great as WHO KILLED CAPTAIN ALEX this will literally be the best shit in ages
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Oh that would, unironically, be a dream come true. I still say that "Who Killed Captain Alex" is one of the greatest movies ever made for $200. The movie is pure movie making art. Yes it's inept, yes the FX are laughably bad, yes the acting, the sets and the story are shit. But it was made with such passion and care that you can't help but love it.

If Cynthia made something in the same vein as "Who Killed Captain Alex" I would become an unironic fan. And then the chances of that happening is practically zero. But who knows? Maybe we'll see "Wogglebug Fights the Tiger Mafia" someday.

Picklechu said:
ither she's convinced mommy or auntie to throw more money away, likely by lying to them, or else she's selling drugs or her body in order to get her wogglefix.
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She's selling that body? For what? $0.50 a blow, $0.75 for half and half and $1.00 for the full monty? How desperate for sex would you have to be to want to do that thing when internet porn is still available?

On the other hand, you'd still have enough change for busfare.
 
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Here's my contribution Cynthia, feel free to use it:

H.M. Wogglebug waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There were Kiwis in Genoma. He didn't see them, but had expected them, now for years. His warnings to Professor Knowitall were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.
Wogglebug was a highly magnified bug for fourteen years. When he was young he watched the Piaxr movies and he said to Prof "I want to be made into a movie, Professor."
Prof said "NO! YOU WILL BE TROLL BY THE KIWIS!"
There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now in the World of Genoma he knew there were Kiwis.
"This is Sylvia," the radio crackered. "You must fight the Kiwis!"
So Wogglebug gotted his 4 Uzis and blew up the wall.
"HE GOING TO KILL US," said the Kiwis!
"I will shitpost at him," said the Trombonista and he wrote a funny post. Wogglebug quadruple-fired his Uzis at him and tried to blew him up. But then the ceiling fell and they were trapped and not able to kill.
"No! I must kill the Kiwis," he shouted!
The radio said "No, Wogglebug. You are the Kiwis."
And then, Wogglebug was a lolcow.
 
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