How do you travel in time?

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You rip a hole in space and then fuck it. Your dick will have existed and never existed. Has been in everything but never in anything. That or you'll die in the darkest corners of space being known as a degenerate whose dick got ripped off.
 
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Make sure you pack your bags in advance and set an alarm, and consider making breakfast the night before if you have to go early.

Also remember to factor in your level of brown-ness. If you look a little middle eastern and you're traveling by plane give yourself enough leeway for cavity searches, and if you're black and traveling by car make sure to consider the extra time it'll take to get pulled over.

If you follow all those instructions you should have no problem traveling in time.
 
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I had a relative lecture me about the value of these drugs he would take in South America. He did fucking everything. Everything. He would go full retard and go for 3-6 months at a time. Way out remote,waaaaaaaay out there.

Even a recognized and bonafide Shaman now. No shit.

He'd tell me about how in the depth of it, it would feel like 15,000 years had passed by - and yet only a few days had actually lapsed.

I said to him, "So 15,000 years passed by and you learned nothing, huh? You just sat there and thought (talked to yourself) for 15,000 years?". He stopped trying to convince me to go down with him and do it.

He failed to see he had travelled in time - but not into the future, but backward to being a juvenile idiot.
 
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Sometimes I lay down and close my eyes but when I open them again it's 8 hours later but it doesn't feel like it and it's mystifying how 8 hours of my life can disappear like that without me knowing like WTF where did the time actually go who is stealing it but then Alex Jones explains the reptilians and all of a sudden it makes sense so now I try to avoid even laying down so that the reptilians can't take any more of my precious spinal fluid which I think is what they're doing when they put me under for 8 hours like that I don't know how people live like this but vodka seems to help
 
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Call into Coast to Coast AM in the late 90s and regale Art Bell about how you think you've figured it out but need funding. Scam his listeners out of thousands of dollars. Do so much meth you go to jail and enter a coma for 2.5 years without an ID so nobody can actually find you or ID you and you're a John Doe the whole time.

Do the same scam 15 years later, scamming even more money, except this time it's through the internet sooooo Well, you've just vanished or died.
 
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