- Joined
- Apr 10, 2019
guys I found proof that pat is fat, click here.
Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter
- Thread starter Caverlock
- Start date
- Joined
- Nov 29, 2021
I thought you wuz on our side, Mr. Fed? The fascist anti-Patrick Empire will never recover from this...
- Joined
- Feb 2, 2022
I honestly might take my hand at trolling him. I’ve never used Twitter but I’d do it to piss off Fatrick and get him to respond to his daughter or something while I take my morning dump lmao.
Indisputable evidence that Patrick’s trolls are a bunch of deranged mentally-ill cultists, and the American legal system fully agrees. The Feds think Patrick has a case, Quasi is out his legal fees and sociopath cultists stripped of anonymity by court order, restraining order and federal prison for Andrew, Patrick’s books proven to be well-written and selling well, Norm McDonald isn’t funny, you can stop Russian tanks with water balloons, Pat’s first wife still regrets leaving him, Patrick didn’t cheat on a half-marathon, Patrick isn’t fat or a faggot and doesn’t grind black babies into pepperoni.
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
He is literally a way stupider version of Stephen King's self-insert in The Shining. Except instead of the infamous all work and no play, it's insane, repetitive tweets saying the same shit over and over, compulsively, because he literally can't control himself. That's why he's so fat. And drunk.
King was fairly furious when Kubrick actually portrayed his own self-portrayal on the screen more obviously than he did himself. He was a substance-abusing psycho and just that was abusive toward those closest to him, but he was also a ticking time-bomb who actually would have done worse had he not got his shit together.
Fat Rick doesn't really have this option as he has no actual talent anyway. He should just kill himself.
He is like a tiny little baby child, telling his mommy, proudly, "I made a poopy!" And he did it on the floor next to the training toilet. And his mommy praised him! And he has shit on the floor ever since, trying to regain that moment of favor from his otherwise shrewish bitch of a mom.
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- Joined
- Feb 2, 2022
Fatrick has all the traits of a genius but mentally damaged artist: narcissism, obsession, alcohol abuse, scorned by lovers, abusive, angry, unstable, damaged by his mother, hated by the masses while alive.
Unfortunately for the Moon-Faced Fake-Conservative, his only talent is being a magnet for hatred and mockery due to his life of failure, and his severe obesity, particularly in his round cheeks and dense, jiggling jowels. I will grant that he is skilled at playing the welfare system so that he doesn’t have to contribute back to the society he parasitically drains of resources.
Bravo, Fat Man! Enjoy your feast of Dog Food!
- Joined
- Oct 13, 2014
Ah, the good old days when Kiwis would make virtual WWE versions of lolcows and have them fight.
- Joined
- Apr 22, 2019
That excerpt is awful. My word, is it bad.
"Oh now that was a mistake. See, we're not all alike at this table. Eons ago, we humans..." Why is there an ellipsis there? The comma after eons was the proper place to pause for emphasis. Is the speaker trying to find the right word? Or does Fat just not understand grammar? Also, the text is already undermining itself. The first sentence is trying to set up a sense of immediate threat. 'Now that was a mistake...' well it can't have been a very big mistake if we have time to go eons into the past to explore to context of that mistake. And eons ago? I guess we're going to be getting into evolution? "diversified ourselves into four." Four what, retard? He's trying to go for some mysticism here with his failure to complete his sentence, but given the circumstance of the speaker and the fact that the rest of the excerpt doesn't maintain the style, it just comes across as having been written by a try-hard retard.
"Some, remained as we were." So, we're not talking evolution? And what is 'as we were?' We don't know the base state that Fat is presuming existed eons ago, so we don't know what traits would be included in this group. It's meaningless. "Others blended with whales, wise, patient, far-seeing in distance and dimension." Wait, what? Humans blended with whales? We know this isn't some evolutionary branch sort of thing, because some concurrently existing group of humans are unchanged from eons ago. How did humans blend with whales? There's a big proximity problem there... maybe Fat has this big metaphysical shamanism thing going on, but if that's the case, then the moment after the inciting incident to a combat scene isn't the place to introduce it, and if it's already been introduced, then don't kill the momentum of the scene by rehashing something we all know. "Another group paired with dogs." Fat is a confirmed zoophile. "Loyal, courageous, quick to accept and defend anyone they deemed part of their pack." Where are we going with this? We're three types in already. Which type are the villains in this scene? He's said complimentary things about the whales and dogs, so I guess the bad guys are just normal, but we don't know what normal is. We can't place them into Fat's mythology. Also, which kind is the speaker? He can't be a dog, because he's about to leave his companion to fight alone, so he's clearly not a pack creature. I guess he's a whale, because he seems to think he's the smartest thing since the Encyclopedia Brittanica, but we don't actually know. If Fat had just said, "My kind blended with whales," then we would know and he wouldn't even have needed to increase his word count.
"Then, there's the one you just threatened." So we're supposed to be scared of this fourth type, but type 4 was just threatened, and instead of doing something about it, they're sitting there silently and letting Fat's self-insert give this lecture? The narrator has already shown that type 4 is passive. It doesn't matter what Fat says about them now, I don't believe it. "The cats. Eighteen hours a day, they dream of murder. Their every finger and toe ending in a blade. Their teeth, sabers." Are we going full furry here? When type 4 blended with cats, did they literally pick up feline claws? If they didn't, then the traits that cats didn't pass on are irrelevant. Every second Fat's character spends spouting nonsense is drawing out the time between the inciting incident and the fight. I know he's trying to do something like that scene from Snatch with Bullet Tooth Tony and the Desert Eagle, but Tony was talking like a tough guy, not an autistic college professor. If you're trying to build up hype around how scary this girl is, then you really need to stick to details that illustrate how she's scary. Telling me how a literal cat is scary doesn't make me scared of type 4, unless she literally is a furry.
"They can only eat meat.
"Lazy. Selfish. Indulgent." Dear God, if you want us to be scared of cats, then yyou don't tell us every single stereotype about cats, you stick to the scary ones. You tell me that the person I about to fight is lazy, then I'm going to feel good about that. The lazier, the better. It improves my chances. And selfish? Well, I'm going to feel justified when I punch them in the face. Fat is killing the momentum in this scene giving us details that und we rmine the threat his character poses. What an idiot.
"Lithe. Supe. Instantaneous." Fat, I know you haven't orgasmed since Better Wife Adrienne pity-fucked you on your birthday, but try not to let your thirst derail your scene. This is supposed to be dialogue spoken out loud. No one describes a person as lithe and supple out loud. Not unless they want to get slapped. You describe a woman as supple in front of men who just threatened her, and she's going to go after you first. Also, we're supposed to be painting a scary picture here, and he's diffusing the tension to sidetrack into sexiness. This is awful.
"The only other species we knew who killed not out of need,, but just for the thrill of it." Now there's poetic license that authors can use to explain the gap between their descriptions and the real world, but the longer your monologue goes on, the thinner that license stretches. Poisonous snakes will kill for reasons other than food, and humans were around them. Also, cats do tend to eat what they kill. As a predator, they have to be acutely conscious of the amount of energy they expend hunting. They don't succeed at every try, so they aren't going to waste their energy hunting when they aren't going to eat what they bring down.
"Remorseless. Without scruples or conscience. And she's staring at you."
If this chick is anywhere near as scary as Fat wants her to be, then her staring will have been a thousand times more frightening than Fat talking about her being scary. And the badguys would have plenty of time during this monolgue to do something about it - either run or attack pre-emptively. The fact that they did neither for soooo looong shows that the girl staring g just isn't that scary. No one even noticed her staring until Fat's character mentioned it!
"I'm going to sit down and remain very still, now." HA, ha,ha,ha,ha! Fat's going to do what he's been trying to get his atalkers to do for years! Be still, child! Ha, ha, ha, ha! "Not because you've won. Because when the hair stands up on their shoulders like that, even the best cats have trouble separating friend from foe and I don't want to be party to the mess you're about to become." Fat doesn't know how words work. That should be 'a part of' not 'party to.'
But this is awful. If that girl really is what Fat described her as, then she is wholly incompatible with human society. She's a monster. Now, books can have characters like that, but they have to deal with the ramifications of it if they don't want to suck. Fat isn't skilled enough to do that. He just thinks he sounds like a good male ally. And he's writing one accurately - his character is wholly setting aside every ounce of masculinity he has to make the woman do all the work for him. It's disgusting.
Fat's mythology makes no sense. There are four kinds of humans? Why not five? You're telling me that people didn't have anything to do with birds? Horses? So people became normal, dogs, cats and ...whales? Eons ago, people didn't have oceans going vessels. How'd they chose whales over some other thing that they could actually interact with? Or did something else do the closing? Not that it matters, because the question remains, why wasn't it something else. I suspect that this whe metaphor is some throwaway thing that Fat isn't going to develop, because he's not smart enough to handle creating his own magic system, but I really hope he tries, because it will be awful.
I'm not going to get into the grammar, but it was bad.
This whole scene was poorly structured and undermined what Fat was trying to do. If I were editing this, I would throw out everything after 'That was a mistake,' and have him jump straight into the action. He could incorporate some of his furry mythology during the fight, but the way he's done it is artless. It really takes anti-talent to be able to do so much wrong in so few paragraphs. Brava, Fat. Brava.
- Joined
- May 24, 2020
Very true. Based on The Ark he also wants to have sex and be a sports hero that everyone worships.
One chapter ended with his main character having sex, and I swear to god, the next chapter immediately referenced the sex about 5 times in as many paragraphs. Incidentally, his main character also almost knowingly has sex with an underage prostitute later on in the book. Just saying.
And almost every chapter, if not every single one, made a point to reference how said main character was formerly a sports hero, and everyone wanted to polish his knob because of it.
I guess my point here is that Patrick Sean Tomlinson is fat, and I would not have sex with him.
- Joined
- Sep 17, 2018
Just out of curiosity: the main character who almost had sex with a child prostitute on purpose - how many times was he cleared of cheating at marathons?
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
Imagine what a hellish existence it must be for Rick. He must have realized at some point that he has all these characteristics, JUST LIKE JACK TORRANCE, but LACKING EVEN AN IOTA OF TALENT. I actually hope he's just barely smart enough to realize that, because if he does, or ever does, it would be the most exquisite agony for a man like him.
Also he's fat.
Hungry Homeless Handjob
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jul 31, 2021
Why is everyone acting like humans combining with whales is some far-fetched scifi nonsense? We have living proof that it's already occurred!
- Joined
- Nov 20, 2019
I think this is my first time seeing this particular photo, is it edited? He looks like he has special needs here. Truly and Honestly asking because of how exceptional he looks. The sideways thumbs, the uneven smile, the lazy eyes far away from eye contact with the camera. The heavily creased double neckchin looks the same as it always does, though.
- Joined
- Apr 6, 2014
It sounds like his books are bad from a character and narrative standpoint, but the prose is at least competent enough that you didn't bother mentioning it. I only say this because the sheer incompetent horror of WENDIGPROSE (TM) is so much worse than anything I've ever read in my life that I'm honestly baffled the man ever had a publisher to begin with, and may even still have one.
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
He should get a job as a gynecomastia advocate or some shit.
Akashic Retard
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 19, 2021
Doesn't he only have 2 guns?
Sidenote: Am I imagining this or are there old pictures of Pat with a worse hairline than he has now?
- Joined
- Oct 23, 2020
I saw this today and it made me think of Fatrick because it's absolutely him
Brags about his multiple worthless trash guns rather than having one decent setup
Brags about his multiple worthless trash guns rather than having one decent setup
- Joined
- Sep 17, 2021
- Joined
- Nov 26, 2014
It is said that baby food failed to sell in Africa when it was first introduced, because Africans assume that the picture on the can or jar represents what is inside, and jars of baby food were decorated with pictures of babies. Here, we see the same phenomenon, but in reverse: Patrick the glutton is always looking for new things to eat, so he thought he'd see what dog tastes like.
- Joined
- Sep 28, 2021
His prose is legitimately painful to read. It strips away any sense of joy or allowing your imagination to paint a picture of the story, because it feels like a homework assignment. What is Patrick trying to say here? Then it's like that every single page.
He loves to thesaurus and pick the smartest-sounding word like a pompous jackass. He constantly extends sentences like a lazy high school student trying to hit a word count. There's a maddening amount of unnecessary character movement: this character tugged on the collar of his shirt, this other character scratched the bridge of her nose because it itched.
It just makes you want to stop reading. You read a paragraph or two and your brain just goes "stop doing this. Do anything else but this. Please stop."
- Joined
- Dec 22, 2021
"please book a second room"
ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha