- Joined
- Oct 19, 2019
Sorry, it just never gets old for me:
Grace Lavery / Joseph Lavery & Daniel M. Lavery / Mallory Ortberg - "Straight with extra steps" couple trooning out to avoid "dwindling into mere heterosexuality"
- Thread starter CobraPlissken
- Start date
Prescription Bugs
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- May 3, 2021
Every year it gets worse too. I mean I look almost fondly back on their early transitions. We thought it was ridiculous then but they looked positively cute, healthy, and fashionable compared to now.
So unbelievably sad!
Mallory you are in a cult and it is deeply unhealthy.
mrae
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 31, 2015
Joe is feeling depressed.
Sounds pretty bad if your body can't even summon the normal endorphin release that comes from exercise. Don't fuck with your endocrine system kids!
Sounds pretty bad if your body can't even summon the normal endorphin release that comes from exercise. Don't fuck with your endocrine system kids!
- Joined
- May 15, 2018
The ugliest, most unkempt, sickly-looking, fat, and empty-eyed people = "committed to hotness," lmao.
behindyourightnow
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- May 17, 2021
They have both completely lost their chins.
They don’t even seem fat enough for that to have happened so completely.
It’s like cross-sex hormones don’t fatten you up so much as they … kind of melt everything.
They don’t even seem fat enough for that to have happened so completely.
It’s like cross-sex hormones don’t fatten you up so much as they … kind of melt everything.
FATTESTCUNT
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Oct 18, 2019
It's not the exercise, Joe.
If you're way out of shape, exercise is tough going and feels like a fucking slog.
If you're in shape, exercise might sometimes feel like a slog, but it usually makes you feel good.
What's making you depressed is looking in the mirror and knowing that nothing you can do will make you look female, and you're obviously too lazy and too greedy to lose weight, so you're resigned to a future of looking like a really badly dressed fat man in his 50s.
- Joined
- Apr 8, 2022
what scares me most about joe is this:
he could have aged into a charming lager-swilling fat man:
now please rate me as negatively as possible for my obsession with these gay autists
he could have aged into a charming lager-swilling fat man:
now please rate me as negatively as possible for my obsession with these gay autists
- Joined
- Mar 24, 2016
When people ask for advice about whether the person they're with is the right person to marry, I always say the same thing:
The proof is in the pudding.
Since you got together with your prospective matrimonial partner, has your life:
A) Improved in specific, measurable ways with long term impact? Maybe you got that promotion at work, or learned a new instrument. Your credit score went up. Your family relationships and friendships are generally improving in quality. You're buying a house, or have a cohesive plan to do so, or are about to move up a step on the "property ladder" if you already owned one. You're achieving goals that are part of a coherent life plan and developing new long-term goals with a sense of achievement.
B) Gotten notably shittier? Maybe you've developed new mental health problems, or the ones you already had are deepening. Your credit score has gone down; you can't seem to rein in your spending and your partner has lost their job, so you're more squeezed than ever. You're losing friends and keep having reasons to cut more family off. Your space is getting messier. Your personal hygiene is declining. Your goals are in rapid retreat.
C) Changed immensely, but in an unclear direction? Maybe you've moved cities and done a bunch of travel, without much real purpose. You've gotten a new diagnosis you think is the solution to behavior issues you've had for a lifetime but haven't resolved the underlying feelings yet. You've ditched family but you keep making a series of new, disposable friends you interact with on a superficial level. You keep buying new stuff and hanging out with friends, but even though you can name 20 ways in which life is different than it was before your partner, it's superficial and difficult to pin down anything that isn't directly about consuming goods or services.
It's easy to see you should ditch someone with whom the answer is B. If you feel like A is your answer, you've got a serious shot at a lifelong match. But C is an incredibly difficult answer that more and more people end up with in these times of consumption-as-lifestyle and childfree-by-choice. It's hard for people in a C relationship to leave their partner, because the superficial appearance of change is exciting and gives people hope for the future. Even if things don't seem like they're getting better, it always seems like they could be. Maybe good times are just one new hobby or European trip or Michelin-starred meal or Marvel movie away.
Relationship C is a fucking trap. It's how you turn into a permanent adolescent who spends life going in circles while the people who actually met a good life partner keep moving forward.
Mallory scoffs at the idea that she's in a bad relationship, because it doesn't look to her like relationship B material. She's moving! She's ditching her family! She's wearing designer clothes! She's transitioning! She's going on book tours to the UK with her husband, shocking the squares as she goes! She's changing where she publishes! Everything is in flux. Good times are clearly ahead, she's just got to keep moving. But she's headed nowhere. Nicole is taking her three perfect children and her perfect dog on ski vacations, writing book reviews for the New York Times, working on her novel, and sharing deep bonding moments with her father, sharing her childhood favorite books with her kids.
This is fine, thinks Mallory. I've got my Balenciaga sneakers.
It's like if Carrie Bradshaw from Sex And the City liked even uglier shoes while making a fool of herself over an even more emotionally-unavailable, monogamy-challenged man with an even bigger nose and a lot less money.
The proof is in the pudding.
Since you got together with your prospective matrimonial partner, has your life:
A) Improved in specific, measurable ways with long term impact? Maybe you got that promotion at work, or learned a new instrument. Your credit score went up. Your family relationships and friendships are generally improving in quality. You're buying a house, or have a cohesive plan to do so, or are about to move up a step on the "property ladder" if you already owned one. You're achieving goals that are part of a coherent life plan and developing new long-term goals with a sense of achievement.
B) Gotten notably shittier? Maybe you've developed new mental health problems, or the ones you already had are deepening. Your credit score has gone down; you can't seem to rein in your spending and your partner has lost their job, so you're more squeezed than ever. You're losing friends and keep having reasons to cut more family off. Your space is getting messier. Your personal hygiene is declining. Your goals are in rapid retreat.
C) Changed immensely, but in an unclear direction? Maybe you've moved cities and done a bunch of travel, without much real purpose. You've gotten a new diagnosis you think is the solution to behavior issues you've had for a lifetime but haven't resolved the underlying feelings yet. You've ditched family but you keep making a series of new, disposable friends you interact with on a superficial level. You keep buying new stuff and hanging out with friends, but even though you can name 20 ways in which life is different than it was before your partner, it's superficial and difficult to pin down anything that isn't directly about consuming goods or services.
It's easy to see you should ditch someone with whom the answer is B. If you feel like A is your answer, you've got a serious shot at a lifelong match. But C is an incredibly difficult answer that more and more people end up with in these times of consumption-as-lifestyle and childfree-by-choice. It's hard for people in a C relationship to leave their partner, because the superficial appearance of change is exciting and gives people hope for the future. Even if things don't seem like they're getting better, it always seems like they could be. Maybe good times are just one new hobby or European trip or Michelin-starred meal or Marvel movie away.
Relationship C is a fucking trap. It's how you turn into a permanent adolescent who spends life going in circles while the people who actually met a good life partner keep moving forward.
Mallory scoffs at the idea that she's in a bad relationship, because it doesn't look to her like relationship B material. She's moving! She's ditching her family! She's wearing designer clothes! She's transitioning! She's going on book tours to the UK with her husband, shocking the squares as she goes! She's changing where she publishes! Everything is in flux. Good times are clearly ahead, she's just got to keep moving. But she's headed nowhere. Nicole is taking her three perfect children and her perfect dog on ski vacations, writing book reviews for the New York Times, working on her novel, and sharing deep bonding moments with her father, sharing her childhood favorite books with her kids.
This is fine, thinks Mallory. I've got my Balenciaga sneakers.
It's like if Carrie Bradshaw from Sex And the City liked even uglier shoes while making a fool of herself over an even more emotionally-unavailable, monogamy-challenged man with an even bigger nose and a lot less money.
I have cracked many jokes about Cliffe moving on from her career in pop feminism to become a zillionaire's pet ski bunny, and I reserve the right to crack many more, but I give her full credit and more for recognizing that you can't live your entire life in your mid-twenties. Lavery is dedicated to living his entire life in his mid-twenties, and Mallory bought a ticket to ride along with him seemingly for lack of any better idea what to do with herself.
Which, ya know, would be salvageable if it were the usual situation where a good divorce lawyer is all the help you need.
Twiggez-Vous
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Oct 22, 2021
Mal is basically in premature menopause, so her body is desperately holding onto oestrogen, this will increase its tendency to store and hold onto fat, because oestrogen binds to fat. The female body has receptors for oestrogen, it can't just be switched to testosterone, any more than a diesel engine will suddenly work on petrol. The doctors giving these hormones to women should be in jail.
- Joined
- Apr 8, 2022
Mallory's writing, even in her Gawker days, is for people who themselves aren't funny (or can't write). Like Arrested Development and Amy Schumer - and I bet there's a lot of overlap in fans of those things and fans of her. And the kind of women who aren't funny are VERY attached to the pop culture they use to construct their identity. This is why her audience seemed huge and why she was discussed irl in people's friend groups. Joe is one of these people who builds their identity from the pop culture they like, but as a male, won't admit when he can't do something (in this case write or be funny). So he thought he could ride her coattails to boost his own work, but since he produces no actual work, all he did was drag her down with his un-producingness. This is my guess as to how mallory's career exploded despite her content not being that great, and as to how it tanked so spectacularly once she got stuck with joe.
- Joined
- Dec 31, 2018
The good professor takes time out from their whirlwind book tour to make sure the most violent transphobe on the planet doesn't leave anything out of his latest Substack article:
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- Joined
- Jan 27, 2020
Damn I've never heard anyone make that analogy before but thats real good.
- Joined
- Mar 12, 2021
Disagree about your AD opinion, but agree that seeing Joe do the same thing Mallory does, but worse, makes her own work lose its shine. It's like, "OK, I know you're better than Joe, but aping your style is so easy that it can't be that hard to produce. In fact, it might be very niche and pretentious and unbearable, even when executed 'well.' In fact, it doesn't seem like either of you have anything interesting to say except to retool pop culture references to be about yourselves."
Jesse and Joe are literally the same person, ugh. Just a cycle of angrily demanding pedantic corrections of each other in perpetuity. I guess Jesse's Mallory are all the trans kids he has locked in a basement somewhere.
- Joined
- Apr 8, 2022
Can anyone link me to the shoes mal wears in the NYT picture? i don't think she's famous enough to have ruined them & they would be stylish on an actually athletic butch woman (ME)
- Joined
- Aug 31, 2019
I’m not sure but they look like the Balenciaga Triple S. Be aware, though, troons and most especially FTM like to wear Balenciaga. Something about it was a big deal in American Horror Story or some other troon media.
- Joined
- Apr 8, 2022
makes sense. balenciaga is just moschino for fat/ugly/old/out-of-touch people, or male rappers who just got rich for the first time. however as a grad student who sleeps on a twin bed, the bar for what looks fire is much lower for me.
IsItTooGay?
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Aug 26, 2020
Exogenous testosterone will do that to you.
I'm sure their garbage hygiene isn't helping.
- Joined
- Apr 8, 2022
only in america could this digusting brummie's professor grift work. this is why your degrees aren't worth the paper they're printed on in any other nation.
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
She looks like a lot of the clients that come in from drug court and/or the sex offender registry and are seen for intake for job search/placement services funded by DRS and recommended to them by their psychiatric team.
Also hard disagree with those who disagree about Mallory's writing. She. is. BAD. She is...slightly (only slightly) better than Sideshow. But she really is not very good at writing and has nothing new to say or bring to the table.
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