DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell: General Discussion #2

[Iron Hamster]

DSP: "Mace Windu wasn't in Phantom Menace"

Dude....
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Maybe he thought it said Maced Window

 

[SauceRyuKen]

It depends on the expectations of the audience. In the case of The Jimquisition, the numbers prove that Jim liking a thing gets viewed like 1/4 as much as Jim hating a thing (and Jim has backed this up multiple times with proof of metrics). Phil believes that detractor content gets traction for the same reason but the reality is that detractor content is well edited and gains traction because peoplr want to watch him without supporting him.

My first game could have been a number of things: Combat on the Atari 2600, some edutainment bullshit on Windows 95, TMNT arcade cabinet, or Batman & Robin for SNES.

Well, Jim's always been an opportunist at heart. From super based woman hating controversial openly corrupt critic during the advent of the angry gamers, to consumer's advocate during the mid 2010's rainfall of DLC bullshit, to soup letter person in the new 20's, there's just no hat the guy won't wear for money and popularity. I don't even dislike him, I used to be subbed. He's also undercut by the sheer lack of creativity in today's gaming industry.

Spoiler: The gaming industry's decline and the place of guys like Jim Sterling in it. Long.

What even is there to analyze or riff on? Almost every game is the same. All the consumers are super lenient with unfinished products because that's just the way things are now and we can totally patch that, you guys, even when a lot of things never do. Games run for upwards of half a decade now in the "Games as service" category, becoming a hamster wheel that you never get out of, and sometimes they never even get good at any point. Dead By Daylight's been a smashing success for years and it's never been any fun. This could not have happened in the PS2 era. Consumer standards are through the floor, in spite of us having more market information than ever, and much easier and cheaper to access.

He made his career on being negative and the algorithm kinda typecasts your ass. They expect you to provide one type of content and one type of content only. If you do rage streams, you better not dare like something. If you always like things, don't you dare get angry. Again, he's undercut for this by today's standards: Steam opened the floodgates and now pretty much anyone can be in there, including porn games, which means Steam's shovelware problem has only gotten so big it's literally unsurmountable. Jim's hill to die on was curation and better discoverability, but companies have moved in the opposite direction, with massive volume of games and even streamers on them. People are generally accepting of this fact so Jim's basically lost his niche.

Furthermore, today's social and political climate just don't benefit creativity very much, and it doesn't help at all that all the platforms you could use to get a message out are owned by supposedly family friendly megacorps. You COULD try to denounce how shit a gacha game's practices are on youtube, but good fucking luck getting any views at all or more importantly, sponsors. There's not really any more big stinkers, games are practically expected to be either kinda shit or the same old formula from some big company, basically workable but not mind blowing. Dying Light is a great show of the industry's state: A game that was absolute shit on it's original release, it was buggy as hell, with a dumb story, and barely working gameplay. It got patched, it got prestige mode, and it's now a supposedly very fun parkour and zombie killing game beloved by many. The sequel was the latest big name shitty game out there, and barely anyone batted an eye or got worked up about it. Also, it released in 2015 with a strong focus on the already extremely dead fad that was Parkour, even featuring characters that were parkour instructors, showing that production times have gotten so long, you can barely make a game that's a product of it's time.

Lastly, the sheer amount of time a game requires of it's players nowadays is nothing short of crazy. Again, one of those things that used to be a huge point of criticism in the mid 10s, FOUR HOUR long campaign stories, devolved into "Gaming is the value hobby, you get SO MUCH VALUE" with games that require literally thousands of hours to complete because they are absolutely chock full of busywork. Ubi games sure are very long, but I'll be fucked if I was ever gonna climb every watchtower in the map, game. I'm here for Italian Stabby Man, sometimes for Pirate Stabby Man. I couldn't give less of a fuck about collectibles. You could realistically be up to date back in the PS2 era, even the PS3 era with current releases, no joke, if you just bought what you intended to play regularly and rented the rest. Even games like the Sims had win conditions. This also makes criticizing games a lot more difficult, and Phil brings up a valid point here: Most gamejournos don't really have much more than a quick first pop with the game before they have to write up a review on it with demanding deadlines. Technically right that guys like him who go through the whole thing and give you their honest opinion would be valuable, if not for, you know, him being Phil and only getting through games with massive amounts of handholding and cheese. Again, dude felt the need to savescum EVERY HAND HE LOST in fucking Lost Judgment Blackjack, for some unfathomable reason. Phil's not a man who can offer any insight, at least not any more than robust flavorful meal full of flavour, or 8/10 game mixed bag.

I remember Metal Gear Solid V getting bad reviews on account of being incomplete. In hindsight, that game was one of the best of the decade. But now, that's just standard practice. We also at one point got 4 GTA titles, each raising the bar from the previous one in a period of 7 years from 2001 to 2008. That sort of thing is just never gonna happen again with development times being what they are.

To put it succintly, as I have incredibly failed to do with this tremendously long post: We play more hours of the same games, just not as good, and more expensive. Every platform that a gamejourno could realistically use is owned by corporations who wouldn't like you talking shit about them. Jim's basically a relic and I doubt the gaming industry would want him around much longer.

As for Phil, he's a pig in shit right now. Nobody expects streamers to be skillful, nobody expects games to be hard, and nobody gives a fuck if you beg 24/7 because that's just the meta over at Twitch. That and softcore camgirls. So he's fooled himself into thinking he's gonna get another lucky break, any day now, and he wants to be perceived as a scrubbier, more toxic Max Dood. He's of course never gonna be relevant again, but as long as he keeps his paypigs, he'll be happy. Of course he's realized that his only entertaining facet is being a babyrager, as they're called, and he seethes at this. So, simple solution: Play nothing but the easiest cherry picked children's games and walking sims he can find, so he can curb restreaming. What is the point, after all, in getting assfucked in Virtua Fighter nonstop only for Dark Dave's and Anleet's chats to be popping while he himself never gets any more than his ten regular dentheads?

Phil's a dinosaur and he's never really cared about gaming. Hell, how he sticks to new releases only is proof of that. People who love games will grow an audience somehow and then stream things that they enjoy. Stuff like Timesplitters, Resident Evil Outbreak, the original 3D GTA Trilogy, and maybe some standout PS3 era titles. Alternatively, you stream a hamster wheel, like a fighting game, Overwatch, Dead By Daylight. Playing the hot new popular releases is almost entirely pointless, specially if you do it on normal. It doesn't help that Yakuza Like A Dragon broke the pig and he can't handle anything harder than Slug And Chug any more.


Basically, ever since gaming became a huge money maker, it's being thoroughly skullfucked by Sturgeon's Law, (90% of everything produced is crap, applied to art, but you could apply it to anything.) and there's very little anyone wants to do about it.

TL;DR Gaming's gonna keep being relevant thanks to mobile games, but shit's not gonna be getting better any time soon. Jim's basically falling out of relevance because nobody cares about his customer protection crusade anymore and he's tacking on way too many bullshit addendums to his persona, plus I don't think going with the woke crowd was the right career move for him. I mean, sure, Anita, female representation in games is pretty neat, but your crowd clearly never had the first fucking clue what they were talking about. Managed to make a killing talking about non-existant issues, sure, but never had a clue. Those people don't buy games, they just screech about games, and they won't support your channel or your talking points because they never cared.

Phil knows he's being restreamed and TIHYDP'd and his attempt to punish this with worse, less entertaining, more bullshit ways to get through games is gonna end up sinking him into complete obscurity before too long. Nobody really wants to watch Phil for Phil. His attempt to vet his viewerbase into this ends up with what he currently has. A glacial pace chat, around 10 to 20 whales, and that's about it. Sure, he's happy with it, but if one or two whales decide to pull out because there's just no more trolls to own, Phil's gonna be fucked. If that ever comes to pass we'll see a lot of scrambling and a lot of Street Fighter V suddenly being back on the menu.

And my first game was Super Mario Land on the gameboy. It was a shitty port but I replayed it recently and it's not as hard as 4 year old me used to think, though it's also not that easy. Moved on to PS1 from there and I basically still play some of the franchises that started back then.

 

[Fuckyoudad]

He is not gamer at all, at least as far as my lore on his 90s days go. The only games he played in the 90s were fighting games, which is why he thinks of himself as hot shit. Even kids born in the 90s knew games on the n64 or ps1. He likes to claim he is a retro gamer because he thinks it gives him credentials.

In comparison, my older brother who is a few years younger than Phil never really was into vidya umyet remembers playing sports games on the Genesis and shit. If you asked Phil what games he played growing up he would either fumble and claim he forgot them or pluck popular ones out of the ether.

This isn't entirely accurate. Haven't you ever heard him sperging over Final Fantasy 6 as the pinnacle of jayarpeegeez. Outside the realm of cartoon fighting man vidya he holds it up alongside super turbo as his proof of no life hall pass. The same way in which he hates that each new fighting game iteration for not being a repackaged Super Turbo is the same way he feels about every Final Fantasy that came after VI.

FFVII bears the brunt of his wrath since it was alotta peepuls introduction to the genre and also a much bigger success while OG philomena was dedicating his all gayming time to fighting games. FFVI is the scrappy and superior underdog just like he is in his own mind so he's gotta back it for life even if it's shit.. which it is.

He has a rake of old consoles (because hoarder) and spent time in the early youtoob days going to conventions and filling out his poser vidya cartridge collection at the vendor booths. Not to say he played everything back in the day of course.. just the classics like Slam City with Scottie Pippen and Make my Video: Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch on Sega CD.

It would be more accurate to say he skipped alot of khantent through the jump from to 2D to 3D. I think he ran exclusively with Xbox when he did drop in and ignored just about everything across PS One, PS2 and the 360 was still his default machine by the time he started recordng for youtube.

My own original no life hall pass

 

[PieceofShet]

DSP just pointed out how creepy that padme and anakin met when they were young and 10 years later they dated.

Dont mind the fact he groomed pandalee when she was underage.

EDIT: They were like 18 (anakin) and 24 (padme). How much was dsp when he was together with pandalee?

 

[Dona Morte]

He thought Ani was 6 in the movie. He also thought Padme was 3x his age. Also to Phil this looks like 47.
Phil this is less creepy then YOU with Panda.
Maul v. Qui- Gon sperg

Spoiler

Maul hits Qui-Gon in the face with his lightsaber. THIS is why Qui-Gon lost. In Rebels Obi knew he was not a match due to his age, and when Maul wanted to use the same move he cut him down. Rebels was a great shows, the lightsabers ruined it for me.

 

[RaidenAUndertale]

DSP just pointed out how creepy that padme and anakin met when they were young and 10 years later they dated.

Dont mind the fact he groomed pandalee when she was underage.

Zero self awareness as usual. But to be fair, dood you are forgetting that he was an innocent 30 year old kid when he did that. He's grown and matured soo much since then * snort *.

Honestly, you just know that when the day finally comes for him to be kicked off the internet, he'll leave acting like he totally "won" and he "chooses to leave".

 

[Nypical Haterade Comment]

I ask you dear Kiwis, do you forget what the first vidya you played was? For me it was some Gameboy Color games like Warlocked and some shitty Batman and Star Wars games.

I remember my first console being GBC, mainly Super Mario Bros. Deluxe, Pokemon among others. I got an N64 shortly after. One of my best memories is when I finally learned how to ride my bike without training wheels, my dad took me to Blockbuster to rent any game I wanted. I vividly remember picking up Mario 64 as that was a game I loved, but didn’t have.

 

[YokuNamaTwo]

Bruh.... Leanna literally just turned 18 when you revealed her at age 30....

 

[TurdFondler]

FF6 was the best 2d FF for sure, but Phil hating on FF7 is braindead. It doesn't hold up at all, but the graphics upgrade from the SNES era was unreal. The art, story and gameplay made it an instant classic, and the fact it stuck around for the entire duration of the ps1 despite being released fairly early on, possibly a launch title but I can't remember.

It introduced an entire generation of weebs to JRPGs. Of course Phil would skip it, though, the walkthroughs in those days cost real money, they were hard copies at EB Games.

No Lifers: anyone else load games off cassette on a C64?

 

[The One And Only SALTE]

Okay so I got curious and I had to look up what this spaghetti cake Phil is talking about actually was since he described it so poorly, but knowing it contained any kind of pasta, not just sphaghetti, and cinnamon sugar, i found a recipe for what it is.

It's called aletria, and it is a PORTUGESE dessert. "Authentic Italian" my ass, but I'm guessing it was passed through his mother's family and he didn't bother to fact check the source of origin for this dessert. The way he describes it makes it sound terrible but looking at a few recipes, it doesn't sound half bad.

 

[Crooked 16th]

Phil hating on FF7 is braindead.

That's what happens when a game starts to make you question things about yourself

 

[Kaisaku Duze]

I ask you dear Kiwis, do you forget what the first vidya you played was? For me it was some Gameboy Color games like Warlocked and some shitty Batman and Star Wars games

Probably outing myself as a fucking zoomer compared to most of the posters here, but it was Sly 2: Band of Thieves on the ps2. Crazy that a children's platformer from the 2000's has a more engaging narrative compared to most current AAA games.

On topic, Phil you are such a fat fuck. You look like a pedophilic humanoid version of Mr.Oddly-Shaped Potatoehead.

 

[Beverly Sutphin]

Sorry, BLM! I'm surprised he didn't break out the whole rant about hipsters like him and Leanna used to do when they first moved up there.

 

[Chernabog3000]

Lol anakin is a kid how can be just fly this thing he's never flown.

Idk Phil it's almost like there some sort of otherworldly power possessing him. Can't quite get my finger tips on it. It's like on the tip of my tounge but I'm being choked by some sort of joke.

Phil you talk so confidently about how the middle bits of the 1st move are pointless filler. Than proceed to miss the one thing they hammer home. Anakin has a knack for all things mechanic. He's show promise as a talented pod racer despite being the only fucking human doing it. It's a pretty pivotal point of the entire fucking series. What part of the chosen one did you not get. He's can fly anything naturally because he is force sensitive and strong at. Don't even like the franchise and I know that shit is pretty basic. Fuck it's a part of the original trilogy as well. Luke goes from a fucking farmer to a ace pilot bro. Do you not understand this shit? The force Phil. Anakin posses the force. Is hammered home throught the entire shitty prequels you insinuate are most definitely shit and mostly filler. Yet you miss the most basic plotline of the trilogy. Probably the most crucial aspect to those films. Go ahead and review elden ring. You sure as shit know your stuff.

You don't deserve money for this shit because you are absolutely clueless.

 

[Beverly Sutphin]

I ask you dear Kiwis, do you forget what the first vidya you played was? For me it was some Gameboy Color games like Warlocked and some shitty Batman and Star Wars games.

Contra and Mega Man 2 on the NES. Have beaten both and played the HELL out of both!

 

[PieceofShet]

Main stream.

25dollars from fans in tips.
He went hard with the beg at the end doing a begment like every 5 mins.

 

[Balr0g]

FF6 was the best 2d FF for sure, but Phil hating on FF7 is braindead. It doesn't hold up at all, but the graphics upgrade from the SNES era was unreal. The art, story and gameplay made it an instant classic, and the fact it stuck around for the entire duration of the ps1 despite being released fairly early on, possibly a launch title but I can't remember.

For me the change came when I played with friends who had a SNEs. we played Secrets of Mana which you could play cooperatively. One hell of a long RPG which my MasterSystem didn't have (at least I didn't own any RPG's on it I had the "Play it in one session, sucker" games). Funny enough I had some lengthy RPG's on my GameBoy though. When I got myself a PS1 FF7 and Suikoden 1 were one of the first games I got.

 

[sentrandeti]

DSP:
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Dude....
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Technically mace wasnt at this part but was at the funeral but they just combined the 2 so technically phil is right on this one if he remembers mace not being in this scene https://youtu.be/NHs2nxUDAiU?t=70

 

[YokuNamaTwo]

Sorry if already posted but even the Kirby community (which I didn't even know existed) is laughing at Phil.

Spoiler: Some Responses

 

[Corpun]

This tirade about Obi-Wan winning against Maul due to being angry and how stupid this was since it was apparently showing how the Dark Side is so much better than the Light is beyond idiotic.

Spoiler

1 - Obi-Wan lost the actual lightsaber clash, it was Maul’s own hubris which left him vulnerable for Obi-Wan’s finishing blow.
2 - That finishing blow represented Obi-Wan overcoming the temptation of the Dark Side and relying on being calm instead of emotional, which in turn allowed him to pass the trials and being given the rank of Jedi Knight.

His talent to appear confident while spewing nonsense is nothing short of remarkable.

The amount of stuff he misremembers from the movies makes me wonder if he saw them at all or if he just saw them because they were popular and wanted to fit in. Even if he saw them these are some horrid memory issues.