Mr. Ralph? Are you okay? It's me, your personal assistant, Jess Southern. That solid gold Excellence in Broadcasting award fell off your shelf and hit your head. Maybe you should sit down for a minute.
Don't worry. Zidan and Dame are greeting your guests in the green room and Tucker Carlson will do the warm transfer from his program to The Killstream at the top of the hour. He just can't seem to get enough of your insight, you know.
Oh that reminds me you have two messages. Dick and Jim have been chumming the water for honeys and can't wait for you to join them in Vegas after the show. Also someone named Soph wanted you to know she's going to be 'Lisbon Legal' next week. Oh Ethan, your life is so wonderfully colorful!
Destiny and Mike Lindell are both ready to come out swinging in the debate tonight. What's wrong? You still look a little confused. Relax. Everything will go off without a hitch as long as you don't violently shart yourself and threaten to rape the partners of your guests.