r/polyamory

[The Southwest Strangla]

My best friend is a swinger. Totally into the life style. And completely uncreepy about it, unlike the lefttoids I know who somehow manage to give off major porno creep vibes.

My buddy every other year or so will simply, "Hey, just curious if you and the wife ever changed your mind about, you know, maybe going to Italy or something and fuckin? No? Okay, cool, I respect that."

I asked him once why he never invited just me to come over and dick down his wife.

"That'd be weird man, we know you and know you'd be going behind your wife's back to do that and that's just not right."

Swing and poly shit are basically the same fucking thing lol

 

[NoReturn]

Come on, you have to tell us. Is it videogames industry? Nursing? Yoga instructors?

It's probably teaching. Teachers have become very interested in having weird sex shit in their lives that they can chat about with minors.

It was the Grand Masonic Temple vs. Illuminati bowling tournament fundraiser to support orphan reptilian children with albinism.

 

[Naitsirhc Rodriguez]

Come on, you have to tell us. Is it videogames industry? Nursing? Yoga instructors?

Probably nursing, nurses get freaky most of the times in my experience. Look up the nurse-to-prostitute pipeline where they transition from taking care of people to taking care of people.

 

[NoReturn]

Probably nursing, nurses get freaky most of the times in my experience. Look up the nurse-to-prostitute pipeline where they transition from taking care of people to taking care of people.

Isn't the reverse true, too? Strippers becoming NPs?

 

[DumbDude42]

Isn't the reverse true, too? Strippers becoming NPs?

i think when nursing was first established as a profession, it was through the work of some social reformer woman in england whose goal was getting prostitutes off the street by finding productive work for them instead, and turning them into nurses to care for the sick was the way to accomplish that

//edit:

https://jmvh.org/article/florence-nightingale/

Her mind was increasingly drawn to the reform of nursing. To understand why this was such an area of interest, you need to have an understanding of the state of nursing when Florence Nightingale was a young woman. At that time, nursing was seen as the very lowest of vocations. Most nurses were alcoholics; they were permitted and were expected to drink alcohol while they worked. Many of them were also prostitutes. It was customary for young women of low social class to look to a life of prostitution and nursing, with the consumption of large amounts of alcohol to make the other two occupations seem a little more bearable. The average nurse when Florence was a young woman would think nothing of combining her three occupational interests in a single night; she would sit watching over her patient and sipping her gin, and if her patient was well enough and had the money, extra services could be provided.

not exactly how i remembered it but close enough

 

[Alcoholism]

Swing and poly shit are basically the same fucking thing lol

Nah.

They're a couple. They don't run around talking about loving anyone else. They don't have boyfriends or girlfriends or anything else. They come off as any other boring couple save for the fact that every now and then they have an orgy in their house.

Like the other folks in the thread deduced. Just a couple of 40 somethings in the Texas suburbs doing something to change it up from time to time in between being some of the more productive and hospitable folks in society.

 

[hash-slinging slasher]

Nah.

They're a couple. They don't run around talking about loving anyone else. They don't have boyfriends or girlfriends or anything else. They come off as any other boring couple save for the fact that every now and then they have an orgy in their house.

Like the other folks in the thread deduced. Just a couple of 40 somethings in the Texas suburbs doing something to change it up from time to time in between being some of the more productive and hospitable folks in society.

Swingers usually have the same thing going on (one person pressuring the other into it, weird arguments about whether to use protection or not, jealousy, the occasional live in fuckbuddy who pretends to ignore the obvious marital issues, accidental pregnancies, etc etc) but just don't post online about it.

My grandma knew one man who was shocked that his wife (her friend) left him when he kept trying to convince her to join the swinger lifestyle after she said no a few hundred times. Now he has no hoes and no wife.

 

[b0x]

Poly shit has appeared in a place I can't elaborate on without doxxing myself, but my big takeaway was that there seem to be way more "poly" women in a certain industry than I'd originally assumed

You find poly in the most unexpected places. I discovered during a relationship, the sisters of my partner at the time(who were both married) shared an extra guy between themselves. Then I discovered the parents of my partner were swingers. It was only a matter of time until my partner brought up poly, then I was out of there.

Maybe its genetics.

 

[Jonah Hill poster]

https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/u7f11h/solo_poly_to_the_outside_world_my_first_meme/

I’m pretty sure Dundler Miffin has higher standards than this

 

[Alcoholism]

Swingers usually have the same thing going on (one person pressuring the other into it, weird arguments about whether to use protection or not, jealousy, the occasional live in fuckbuddy who pretends to ignore the obvious marital issues, accidental pregnancies, etc etc) but just don't post online about it.

My grandma knew one man who was shocked that his wife (her friend) left him when he kept trying to convince her to join the swinger lifestyle after she said no a few hundred times. Now he has no hoes and no wife.

You are 100% correct. Same political situation as any other non monogamous couple. Two people agree on something or they don't and if they don't you gotta end the relationship, not pressure the other person to adopting your new lifestyle.

That said, I've known this man for 30 years, his wife for 10. He very much set the boundary before they got serious in their relationship. Very much a "this is who I am, this is what I want, this is what I want to do". She was into it, and as far as I know, their relationship is very strong.

They do know that they're in the minority tho.

 

[KifflomKween]

She was into it, and as far as I know, their relationship is very strong.

She must be on some really strong meds.

 

[Naitsirhc Rodriguez]

I'm sure this has been posted before but if polyamory really was viable than where are all the multi-decade polycules? Every example I've seen usually last like five years tops. We have loads of couples celebrating their diamond anniversaries but these people can't even get a tenth of the time or the commitment. I don't know, this whole community feels like a cope for socially maladjusted people to me.

 

[UncleTusky]

I'm sure this has been posted before but if polyamory really was viable than where are all the multi-decade polycules? Every example I've seen usually last like five years tops. We have loads of couples celebrating their diamond anniversaries but these people can't even get a tenth of the time or the commitment. I don't know, this whole community feels like a cope for socially maladjusted people to me.

They don't exist and there is not a good answer for "why". The idea of open or semi-open relationships in the US goes back to at least the "Free Love" movement in the 60s/70s and nobody remembers the beautiful love stories from that because they don't exist.

My personal theory (for which I really wish I still had my Hannibal Lecter avatar) lines up pretty well with yours, it's a way for people to pick and choose the parts of a relationship they like because they can't handle being responsible for another human being: I know two or three people IRL who self identify as poly and it's pretty clear they are trying to have all the romance and dates with none of the disagreement, fighting, and so on. Even when their "polycule" (I hate that term, it's polygamy by another name) had no choice but to admit things were going poorly they couched it in Disney references. This is not a joke and it took a lot of restraint for me to not say "what is wrong with you people?".

 

[b0x]

I'm sure this has been posted before but if polyamory really was viable than where are all the multi-decade polycules? Every example I've seen usually last like five years tops. We have loads of couples celebrating their diamond anniversaries but these people can't even get a tenth of the time or the commitment. I don't know, this whole community feels like a cope for socially maladjusted people to me.

I do wonder sometimes why you see functional harems more prominently and not the reverse.

 

[Cake Farts]

I do wonder sometimes why you see functional harems more prominently and not the reverse.
View attachment 3208057

Countries and cultures that practice group marriage usually do so to distribute a limited commodity (like land and livestock) to a greater number of people. These are usually shit african countries (probably more, but cannot name off the top of my head) where sharing a farm and getting some food is a better alternative to starving. I absolutely believe that polyamory and group marriages are not compatible with modern western cultures because of how readily available resources are, and the emphasis of individual importance in finding happiness. Where polyamory fails is that each of the people in the polycule are chasing the pipedream of a problem free relationship where if an individual were to have trouble with a partner, they can run to another and just bang them out and have a shoulder to cry on. Thus, it is very selfish and multiplies whatever normal problems monogamous couples face times however many people are in the group. To summarize, love without all the hard parts and nuances of love.

 

[LUNEKO]

I do wonder sometimes why you see functional harems more prominently and not the reverse.
View attachment 3208057

Because men used to have a very high tendency to just wage war for literally no reason other than
"this country exist, we can kill the men and take over the pussy and farms"
Which at the end, regardless of who won it would leave a massive gap between the living women and men populations meaning more women to whoever was left.
Western nations after WW2 saw a disappearance of war as effective means of growing a nation and thus even though there was a population boom the men side was never culled by instability, making the scenario where there's way too many women for a single man extremely rare.
However on the middle east and africa where war never stopped being an everyday thing for all the tribes living in there population culls still happen from time to time either trough plagues, famine or war, which is why you still see harems happening there, although right now they are having a bit of a crisis where there's too little women and too many dicks rattling sabers around

 

[DumbDude42]

I do wonder sometimes why you see functional harems more prominently and not the reverse.
View attachment 3208057

because men are territorial, jealous and possessive by nature while women are not

also a 1 man + 10 women harem allows all the people involved to have children, while a 10 men + 1 woman reverse harem just makes most of those men childless cuckolds

 

[Chuck McGill]

Then suddenly he was dating Kate Beckinsale
View attachment 3132743

This photograph should serve as proof to anyone that evil is a literal metaphysical force in this world, and Hollywood attracts it like flies to cow pies.

https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/u7f11h/solo_poly_to_the_outside_world_my_first_meme/

View attachment 3196984

I’m pretty sure Dundler Miffin has higher standards than this

This bolsters my theory that people use things like poly, BDSM, and funky gender identity/sexuality as a cope for the fact that no one wants to fuck them. I suspect there are more gay people now because meeting people is harder than it ever was and we haven't had any wars lately to thin out the herd, so people default to dating their own gender because it's generally easier than trying to figure out the opposite sex. See also: Amberlynn Reid and her gross sexless relationships that are more of an exchange of nursing services for housing than a true relationship built on affection.

 

[hash-slinging slasher]

because men are territorial, jealous and possessive by nature while women are not

also a 1 man + 10 women harem allows all the people involved to have children, while a 10 men + 1 woman reverse harem just makes most of those men childless cuckolds

Don't give women THAT much credit. There's a lot of muslim marriages that are dumpster fires because of jealousy and the wives just not getting along but still last a while because the husband won't let anyone leave. There's also been stories of wives/concubines of Chinese emperors murdering each other or each others' children in some kind of strange political-jealousy plot.

On the flipside, there are cultures with lifelong reverse harem marriages. Not sure how much better or worse they are though I give the practice in Nepal props for at least giving families tips on how to keep the men from getting jealous even if the advice is kind of gross. (The advice is for the wife to sleep with one husband after the other in the same night if she sleeps with any lol.)

https://youtu.be/d4yjrDSvze0

I'm guessing sometimes harem-type relationships can work in other cultures where marrying for love isn't really a thing but I wouldn't assume poly works more or less depending on the gender makeup. Women and men both get jealous.

 

[Troonologist PhD]

Don't give women THAT much credit. There's a lot of muslim marriages that are dumpster fires because of jealousy and the wives just not getting along but still last a while because the husband won't let anyone leave. There's also been stories of wives/concubines of Chinese emperors murdering each other or each others' children in some kind of strange political-jealousy plot.

On the flipside, there are cultures with lifelong reverse harem marriages. Not sure how much better or worse they are though I give the practice in Nepal props for at least giving families tips on how to keep the men from getting jealous even if the advice is kind of gross. (The advice is for the wife to sleep with one husband after the other in the same night if she sleeps with any lol.)

https://youtu.be/d4yjrDSvze0

I'm guessing sometimes harem-type relationships can work in other cultures where marrying for love isn't really a thing but I wouldn't assume poly works more or less depending on the gender makeup. Women and men both get jealous.

Don't ask me for sources on it but I've read that it's not an uncommon sentiment for men from polygamous cultures to think polygamy is too much work and too little gain.