The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

Who are the top three strongest characters in the Kevin Gibes Inflated Universe (KGIU) canon?

  • Gash Coyote

    Votes: 102 4.5%
  • Rioley

    Votes: 277 12.3%
  • Penis

    Votes: 408 18.1%
  • Loathsome Dung Eater Jen

    Votes: 291 12.9%
  • Boner

    Votes: 294 13.0%
  • Kevin Gibes

    Votes: 671 29.7%
  • The Elusive Earl

    Votes: 701 31.0%
  • Landon Hiscock

    Votes: 262 11.6%
  • The Korps LARP Brigade

    Votes: 200 8.9%
  • Kiwifarms Militia

    Votes: 1,122 49.7%
  • Kindness

    Votes: 650 28.8%
  • Trans Cucumber The Child Abandoner

    Votes: 306 13.6%

  • Total voters
    2,258
It would be wacko, alright. A bunch of emaciated troons in military fatigue hiding behind almost dead wooly llamas. It would be one hell of a silly fucking siege.

Still catching up on the tranch lore btw and holy shit whoever discovered these characters struck some serious gold.
It all comes back to Cow Prime, Kevin Gibes. He just Kevins around, being fucking useless and saying ridiculous and disgusting things on social media and people groove on that while we're watching, ridiculous and disgusting people. We've found more USDA certified grade A beef that way, not the least of which being Kindness and Landon Hiscock.

He just kind of... pulls motherfuckers into his orbit.
 
Question: people are saying that because they're a public business/chartity (but not really) we'll be able to see their taxes. Any idea when or should we just be patient without expecting a date?
Charities are required by law to be completely open with their taxes and spending. In fact you can search for the Clinton Foundation's tax return forms, they are entertaining.
Sadly the IRS seems to be a tad bit slow, most pages were updated in the November of 2020.
 
Could that be how the tranch ends then?

Phil shoots dead a poor unfortunate with buck teeth and cross eyes.

The police go in peace to see what the fuck happened.

Phil thinks that Earl is back with his cop buddies for revenge.

And thus starts the Colorado Battle for the stink ditch.
Not a chance. Y'all keep coming up with this fantasy. Give it a rest. It's not going to happen. What's gonna happen, instead?

1. Tranch runs out of money, credit, and scams.

2. Ranch is foreclosed on.

3. Everyone leaves.

4. Alpacas and all animals, except for a dog or two, are abandoned.

5. Colorado authorities (animal control) are called* to round up the animals and get them into shelters, etc before they starve to death.

6. Ranch and surrounding land is completely trashed. Eww grosss. Nevertheless, it is put up for auction.

7. Someone* purchases land. Someone* sets up a "TRANCH MEMORIAL MUSEUM." Someone* invites all invites all Kiwis to visit the TMM for $30 bucks a ticket PLUS a chance to snag some sweet, gross, TRANCH swag.

8. The End.

*(possibly by me)
 
Personally, I expect someone to accidentally leave the melted stove on and burn the place to the ground for the insurance money, followed by the sudden realization that no one ever actually bothered to get an insurance policy in the first place. A simultaneous gofundme grift/Kevin 41%ing over melted plastic/arson investigation is the arc we deserve.
 
I love and hate that I’ll be minding my own god damned business, checking my notifications, and instead of seeing one for that text I was waiting on, I see one for this instead: [A]
DED4DD4D-444D-4AC1-811A-39B807918D7D.jpeg
That enlightening thought aside, let’s take a look at a few more tweets. Here we have Penny plugging Milwaukee Tool’s products. [A]
4D57BACF-7B56-432C-8886-BC2C3411B32D.jpeg
And here’s some more material for the construction spergs. [1], [2] B5448E49-54D3-45A9-92F1-3A545E33B60C.jpeg
1E3705B2-7867-4911-8879-6136FB124515.jpeg
804947EF-AB72-466A-A23D-F0AA8D7FE57D.jpeg1FA77CB9-A59E-430A-B130-FA3A10357A78.jpeg7A875804-9758-4986-9AF9-0039172559A2.jpeg

And here’s some other random pics they recently posted. This isn’t all of them, but I figured it was nice to see proof of life from any other animals besides the alpacas (well, they’re barely alive, but they’re alive!!)
A567CAB2-36F8-434F-9A3A-BABD841C0736.jpeg12BACDF0-7CF2-43EE-BD87-33D252A5A753.jpegB94F5783-6B7F-44A6-8E58-77A96DA163DD.jpeg006E230A-B797-4BD1-9267-F89AC205B384.jpeg
 
Nevermind why he's open carrying a gun while doing remodeling, what's with the stupid fucking holster?
I cannot believe I am typing this but Uncle Mike is due an apology from me. I was shockingly unable to match it up with their offerings. I was misguided from the start looking for actual firearms accessories. I pop on over to Amazon and surprise, surprise:
1651037402645.png1651037434143.png
:story: This nigga spent $50 to look gayer than the most serious gear queers at an airsoft event sneaking off to do sodomy together. UM could have at least kitted out the whole Tranch with pointless drop holsters for the same price. Edit:
Oh for fuck's sake he's installing the header INSIDE the studs instead of on top. Anyone who hires these morons deserves what they get.
I volunteered helping with certain construction projects where the volunteer labor frequently hasn't touched a tool in their life until the bought/borrowed something for the trip. Be it anxiety, arrogance, or plain stupidity I got a lot of experience meeting people where they are at. I'm not even sure I could begin to deal with this kind of exceptionalism. I'd give up smoking while on those trips to be a decent role-model. I'd need to put a ciggie in a grav-bong bit* to begin coping with that shit.
*Don't do this. It turns out a 20oz grav bong can polish off a whole ciggie and that bottle of smoke contains enough nicotine to almost definitely put you on your ass and likely pass out. Not the fun kind. If you're going to ignore the former advice, use a real (but not glass) bong while seated and pack a way smaller bowl than you typically would. Nicotine toxicity is not something to fuck around with. Ciggy-tea is actually a popular an-hero method in places like China but it is about as painful/drawn-out/awful as ODing on ibuprofen, if not worse. Apparently it only takes a few.
 
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Here we have Penny plugging Milwaukee Tool’s products.

View attachment 3221526
Next minute, C+D gets delivered to the Tranch.

"Cease featuring our products in your God awful worksites, we'll never sponsor you and your fellow clowns!"

"On second thoughts, we'll pay you to switch to a competitors brand!"
 
Lol, wot?
1651039625058.png
Please accept my shitty modification of Wikipedia's graphic of a normal GB for marijuana. Basically saying this is beyond levels of "Holy fuck, I need a smoke" coping. As far as not smoking, this was usually with minors around and we were frequently staying at schools. I could have technically snuck off to smoke but figured it wasn't worth the hassle. More because it would reflect poorly on the group I was there with than because I particularly care.
 
:story: This nigga spent $50 to look gayer than the most serious gear queers at an airsoft event sneaking off to do sodomy together. UM could have at least kitted out the whole Tranch with pointless drop holsters for the same price. Edit:
$11 of that was just to get it in MC Black. At least regular multicam would've mostly blended into their self-made desert.
 
$11 of that was just to get it in MC Black. At least regular multicam would've mostly blended into their self-made desert.
Honestly it looks like about 50% of the price is to get the "ELITE SPANKER" brand. I refrained from commenting because frankly I am the kind of immature ass that would actually stop to consider that premium for the lulz.
 
I love and hate that I’ll be minding my own god damned business, checking my notifications, and instead of seeing one for that text I was waiting on, I see one for this instead: [A]
View attachment 3221517
That enlightening thought aside, let’s take a look at a few more tweets. Here we have Penny plugging Milwaukee Tool’s products. [A]
View attachment 3221526
And here’s some more material for the construction spergs. [1], [2] View attachment 3221520
View attachment 3221555
View attachment 3221525View attachment 3221524View attachment 3221523
View attachment 3221558
And here’s some other random pics they recently posted. This isn’t all of them, but I figured it was nice to see proof of life from any other animals besides the alpacas (well, they’re barely alive, but they’re alive!!)
View attachment 3221518View attachment 3221519View attachment 3221521View attachment 3221522
Can't ducks fly? Why don't they all fuck off to greener pastures somewhere else?
 
I love and hate that I’ll be minding my own god damned business, checking my notifications, and instead of seeing one for that text I was waiting on, I see one for this instead: [A]
View attachment 3221517
That enlightening thought aside, let’s take a look at a few more tweets. Here we have Penny plugging Milwaukee Tool’s products. [A]
View attachment 3221526
And here’s some more material for the construction spergs. [1], [2] View attachment 3221520
View attachment 3221555
View attachment 3221525View attachment 3221524View attachment 3221523
View attachment 3221558
And here’s some other random pics they recently posted. This isn’t all of them, but I figured it was nice to see proof of life from any other animals besides the alpacas (well, they’re barely alive, but they’re alive!!)
View attachment 3221518View attachment 3221519View attachment 3221521View attachment 3221522
Holy shit that's at least $5000 in Milwaukee tools. I was shocked that they bought the fuel  cordless sander, the literal creme de la creme of sanders in that line. Something that just vibrates back and forth doesn't need a super brushless motor. That's a $150 sander without batteries.

The only reason I see to throw money at those kinds of tools is if you have unlimited cash and need about the best that you can get. They're so many better options if you're not interested in swinging your dick around. I can add up the actual value of that collection if someone wants
 
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