Apple's App Store art is fucking horrendous | Flat art / Alegria / Corporate Memphis - click for feet

[Phil The Thrill]

I like it. It's jazzy and bustling like SimCity.

DUDE i just LOVE the hustle and bustle of the big city, it’s so DYNAMIC and makes me feel like i’m in one of my favourite TV SHOWS. you should totally come on down to my studio apartment, it’s got EXPOSED RED BRICK walls and everything, we can crack open a nice hoppy ipa or three and get crazy watching some cartoons on adult swim! and dude, dude, DUDE, we have GOTTA go down to the barcade- listen here, right, it’s a BAR where us ADULTS who do ADULTING can go DRINK. BUT!!!! it’s also an ARCADE like when we were kids, so we can play awesome VIDEO GAMES, without dumb kids bothering us. speaking of which megan and i have finally decided to tie the knot- literally -we’re both getting snipped tomorrow at the hospital, that way we can save money to spent more on ourselves and our FURBABIES. i’m fuckin JACKED man, i’m gonna SLAM this craft beer and pop open another one!!!

 

[dilettante]

Turns out it has a name, it's called "Global Village Coffehouse". I'm not gonna go explain its background or the themes it tries to convey, you can look it up yourself. What I'm thinking of is: sure, it looks more appealing than Alegria, but is it really so, or it is just my nostalgia speaking?
What do you think?

Apple is going for a modern version of this art style. Theres the squiggly line motifs and weird human proportions. Its like anything in art and fashion these days: it looks similar to the 80s-00s but has our own modern spin.
Whether its better than the 90s style doesn't matter, I'm sure in another 20 years we'll look back on Alegria and all its variants and love it because nostalgia is very powerful.

 

[FAQnews Correspondent]

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This art dystopia makes me want to die.

Look at those human larvae with smiley faces

It's the npc meme but with a smile.

 

[Dick Justice]

It's the npc meme but with a smile.
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SSL added and removed here! :^)

 

[Kari Kamiya]

It's almost 2000s in its look, but the small heads on big bodies and tiny feet are so laughably bad.

 

[GoysGoneWild]

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It's almost 2000s in its look, but the small heads on big bodies and tiny feet are so laughably bad.

This is just subliminal fat acceptance.

 

[Nigger Respecter]

I'm guessing this is some sort of critique on "late stage capitalism" but it seems mighty coincidental that the popular art style that's currently being used by every single internet megacorp plus every single startup is also the cheapest, easiest one to produce content for. There's a million Pajeets on fiverr who promise to crank this shit out in less than 24 hours for $20. Now your new app that turns normal pictures into hilarious shareable GIFs (and delicious shareable data for our investors in China) can look just like a REAL app!

Speaking of fiverr, it should as no surprise that they've fully embraced this shit

 

[Haffhart]

The Jewish guy means it might be fake, still an example of this style though. The lower case "white" even in the title is the cherry on top.

 

[Nigger Respecter]

It's a little too perfect but I do appreciate the time and attention to detail that went into it, especially the two Jewish authors

 

[ellroy]

Apple is going for a modern version of this art style. Theres the squiggly line motifs and weird human proportions. Its like anything in art and fashion these days: it looks similar to the 80s-00s but has our own modern spin.
Whether its better than the 90s style doesn't matter, I'm sure in another 20 years we'll look back on Alegria and all its variants and love it because nostalgia is very powerful.

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Currently on Apple's MacOS Monterey page:

Fucking horrendous for a company that in 1984 had their employee Susan Kare draw this:

So it can be used in an advertisement with this guy:

Bad art needs to die.

 

[ducktales4gameboy]

Susan Kare is forever my hero and macos 1 shipping with a set of proto-emojis in a consistent style that didn't have any particular meaning is still one of my favorite cultural computer things. That Monterey page looks even worse than Allegria, It's like a horrible melange of it and calarts.

Are there any modern apps that use monochrome design or negative space? I can remember a few early web3.0 apps that swung that direction and abandoned it for Google's material style when it became a thing.

 

[Drain Todger]

Some Alegria art design sheets:

Alegria

alegria, facebook, colorful, characters

www.behance.net

Spoiler: Oh God No

Yes, literally everything about this art style is done that way on purpose, shockingly.

This is probably old news to most at this point, but one of the actual illustrators at Buck who came up with Alegria was Xoana Herrera:

https://eyeondesign.aiga.org/dont-worry-these-gangley-armed-cartoons-are-here-to-protect-you-from-big-tech/

The political predicament the Alegria style faces has less to do with the aesthetic itself than it does with the harmful corporations for which it has become the happy, kinetic face. The style appears to serve as the illustrative arm of an intentional deployment of cheerful minimalism to mask the insidiousness of multinational tech corporations with friendliness and approachability. Lindsay Ballant, art director of The Baffler, connects the style’s ascension with trends in global politics at the time.

“If you look at it globally, there were a bunch of austerity measures happening in 2014 in particular, and a lot of these repercussions of neoliberalism sort of hit globally then,” says Ballant. “It just seemed like there was a real concerted effort to mask that sort of stuff.”

https://www.xoanaherrera.com/

Yes, some retarded lady from Argentina helped come up with this eye rape.

The New World Order will be as patronizing and infantilizing as it possibly can, because it cannot survive scrutiny, otherwise.

 

[Nigger Respecter]

You can tell that woman is an actual artist who knows how to use color, shape, etc., versus the countless imitators who have no eye for visual design. Just endless copies of copies of copies etc

 

[Kari Kamiya]

Don't think anyone's brought this particular horror up yet even though the style has been featured here.


Has shown up in a recent NYT article.

 

[wtfNeedSignUp]

Is it me or this looks like auto-fellatio?

 

[Kari Kamiya]

This blog must've been created by an actual AI, what the shit.




Only found the site with just a simple search of "yeah" and came across these blocks, which only showed up in one article:

 

[ToroidalBoat]

[wat]

I thought those characters' heads and necks were blasted off for a moment.

The wokespeak of "Black body" can take on a whole morbid new meaning then.

(Clown World is such a freakishly insane and ugly place)

 

[ellroy]

Even the geeks at JetBrains aren’t immune to this shit.

 

[Discourteous Discourse]

Even the geeks at JetBrains aren’t immune to this shit.

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How hideous and sad. Remember when arcade cabinets were a glorious peek into the adventure you were about to have? Even Food Fight's cabinet art had more soul than the freak with the broken wrist. Whoever drew that fighting character with their thumb tucked in is an unforgivable retard.

 

[Timaeus Testified]

Bizarre advert I got opening a new tab in Brave recently. Internxt appears to be some Dropbox alternative that prides itself on privacy and security? But the way they're advertising their cloud service is by implying that shady corporations are selling young "eastern" men that make six-figure salaries sex reassignment surgery through glancing at their files? Though, I would actually like to know how much each person's "data" is worth to these corporations. Better yet, I want a tracker that tells me how much that I, personally, have cost marketing companies by using adblock.