DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell: General Discussion #2

[Surly Muppet]

Why is he downloading Bassmasters?

"For shits and giggles" was the only reasoning he gave.
Just another one of those 'jokes' that he takes way too far, while refusing to have a sense of humor about anything else.

 

[SomeBoyo]

Why is he downloading Bassmasters?

Guy fucking loved fishing in minecraft, was very chill.
Edit:
Day slow, night absolutely GOD AWFUL. Aborted into qna and gamepass browsing. You shitty members can't be trusted to vote for proper games so the master is taking over again, might replay original Mirrors Edge or you know, Bassmaster. Slayer keeps getting cucked. Knew that today would be on the slower side, still hit double beg, just can't help it.

Spoiler: The Daily Wrap: April 27, 2022 - Super Thanks, LEGO Fun, YL2 Dud and Gamepass Exploration!

 

[LostMy1stAccount]

Why is he downloading Bassmasters?

I think he is throwing shit at the wall in hope that some will stick.
It only takes one autist in his chat being interested in some obscure game and he will try to milk it to eternity.

 

[PieceofShet]

Anyone captured him talking about grabbing balls and stuff. He was smiling. Looked happy. Not gay btw.

 

[capefear56]

Does anyone else get the sense that we're approaching the end? Yeah yeah I know, "the end is nigh" is a meme on here, but I genuinely get the sense that it's 1-2 whales desperately trying to fill the void left by so many banned dolphins and whales that aren't as prominent anymore (Jaxx, Slayer, Rahb, etc).

If he can't find new dents soon, I think this downward trend will continue.

 

[you_get_snu snu]

So I may be late on this but i take it the daily 1MM tithes are actual recurring payments. I cant officially confirm this of course but it seems likely.

 

[GotchaNowScumbag]

Does anyone else get the sense that we're approaching the end? Yeah yeah I know, "the end is nigh" is a meme on here, but I genuinely get the sense that it's 1-2 whales desperately trying to fill the void left by so many banned dolphins and whales that aren't as prominent anymore (Jaxx, Slayer, Rahb, etc).

If he can't find new dents soon, I think this downward trend will continue.

No.

 

[PhilsCamelToe]

Does anyone else get the sense that we're approaching the end? Yeah yeah I know, "the end is nigh" is a meme on here, but I genuinely get the sense that it's 1-2 whales desperately trying to fill the void left by so many banned dolphins and whales that aren't as prominent anymore (Jaxx, Slayer, Rahb, etc).

If he can't find new dents soon, I think this downward trend will continue.

The ending to the story of Phillip Burnell will not be a scenario where he loses his whales, it will be when he either drops dead on stream or drops dead during his "break" or between streams. No way he's dying on his off day. He'll brute force the health culprit and opt to die on the following day.

 

[Funko Pops NFT collector]

it's very very rare, but a couple times phil has said something that got a laugh out of me, though it's usually instantly ruined by him carrying on more and more with the same joke

Phil has never made me laugh, and I don't say that just because I'm a sick in the head detractor and think he is super dented, Phil is the only case I have experienced of a guy that creates content on the internet, who I have watched for countless hours and have followed for years for which I can't name a single moment where he said something intelligent,interesting or funny in any way. This dude is like a black hole of entertainment, in my opinion this is because a combination of many factors:

1-Narcissism: he is in a constant state of butthurt always ready to explode in anger, he can't take a single joke at his expense or admit in any way he is not perfect, this makes him very unfunny since he can't laugh at himself and he is always being toxic and angry. He also laughs at his own jokes with a fake laugh(one of the worst things you can do) which I mentioned under narcissism because I assume it's an habit that comes out of insecurity and being manipulative ("did you hear my joke right? you need to laugh that's why I'm laughing, so you understand that you need to laugh too haha").

2-Lack of culture: Phil is a literal boomer, he is an e-hermit that thinks memes are dumb even though he creates gaming content on the internet so he doesn't keep up with current internet trends, therefore he can't joke about it because he doesn't know anything about the topic, he also has no culture regarding real life stuff because he is an ignoramus that thought Spartans are from Rome, he doesn't know anything about the real world and therefore his ability to make jokes is severely limited because of it since he can't make commentary or references to anything, it's hard to be funny when you know as much as a 14 year old.

3-Low IQ: this is self explanatory, Phil is a little slow in the head so he can't be witty at all.

4-Autism: this is also self explanatory, Phil is like a 4/10 in the autism scale which makes him incapable of understand humor properly, and also he does things that kill comedy like pronouncing words wrong, doing weird movements, weird cadence when speaking,etc.

When Phil is trying to be funny he is terrible, it's like this year or last year when he had to interrupt the stream to go to the door because his Xbox or PS5 arrived and Phil said something along the lines of: "so...I just went to get my (console)....and...you won't believe what happened...there were....two elephants....in the drive way...and they were spraying me with water!!! they were running around causing chaos!!". I added the "..." because he took a 2 or 3 second pause every couple of words when telling his hilarious story.

I searched but elephant in pigpiggo to see if I find it but gave up at page 8, although I found another example of Phil making a joke about elephants,this is Phil when he is trying to be funny,
https://youtube.com/clip/UgkxII6Dc9wO8zZJ_QAW15i1JjsdS2MCKpwc

So this video randomly pooped up in my recommended feed.

But how is such a thing possible when Elden Ring is full of bad design and broken hitboxes, because Frahmsoft don't know what the fuck they're doing?

This is another thing that I find hilarious and that Phil never addresses like the narcissist he is, if games are really broken and the only reason he loses is because they are poorly made then why are there videos of people in youtube speedrunning the game taking zero damage? I know Phil would just deflect and say that they are able to do that because they play that game all day unlike him, but even if he said that it's not a valid answer because his initial claim was that he only loses because the game is broken, if he then deflected into "I can't play all day until I'm good enough" then he is tacitly admitting that he is not good enough and that the game is not broken.

In any case don't superchat trying to catch him contradicting himself because he is just going to give you a non-sense answer, LIMB you and move on as if nothing happened.

i didn't really have a point for this post. i was only ever here for phil suckin' dick at games and he hasn't done that in so long. not like the good old days. honestly i'm still around because i need to see how the story of the fat boy ends.

but god some of you make the wait unbearable.

In my opinion Phil narcissism, lies, manipulation ,autism and his dented fans are more funny than him being shit at games, him being special in the head and saying that things he crashes against in racing games are invisible and materialized out of thin air is funny, but the things I mentioned are more entertaining for me.

 

[Beverly Sutphin]

Does anyone else get the sense that we're approaching the end? Yeah yeah I know, "the end is nigh" is a meme on here, but I genuinely get the sense that it's 1-2 whales desperately trying to fill the void left by so many banned dolphins and whales that aren't as prominent anymore (Jaxx, Slayer, Rahb, etc).

If he can't find new dents soon, I think this downward trend will continue.

I wouldn't say "the end" per se, but DEFINITELY reality is here and it's slamming on his door wanting it's payment. Phil NOW knows this and he's SCARED shitless! He's going to try to throw spaghetti at the WALL, hoping and PRAYING ANYTHING sticks! Phil is terrified of the future and he doesn't know what to do!

He got lucky with the bankruptcy, he got LUCKY with the vest streak, etc...but the bank leaks and him losing his partnership was the beginning of his new reality. He's LIVED so long in this comfortable reality, he doesn't know how to function in the reality that awaits him - the thought of getting a REAL job, which he KNOWS he unhirable unless it's a LOW skill gig, him streaming 2-3 times a week, and him NOT streaming 6 days a week, Kat having to get a full-time job and not a per diem or part-time retail job, no more spending $50 a meal on DoorDash, and most of all, no more WWE Champions, terrifies the ever loving SHIT out of him.

If Phil is smart (Hah!), I'd say "You know what? The game is up! It's been fun, but I can't keep doing this." I'd call my mom and dad, be HONEST about everything and tell them the DEEP shit I'm in, and BE on my knee's BEGGING them to "come get me, I need to come back home.": SELL the WAKhando, liquidate everything in it, pay off the remaining balance of the WAKhando, and what's left of of everything that has been liquated, go back to CT.

I honestly think the thought of going back to that ghetto TERRIFIES Phil. However, that may be his new reality. He can't get a middle manager gig that pays what he's used to, business degree or not! He's been out of the job market for 13 years!!! He'd be lucky if I he could get a job as a supervisor at a fast food joint, but even then, he'd probably get fired and claim he "did nothing wrong!"

Phil, I know you're reading this...welcome to your new reality. To quote the almighty one: "Take a sip, you slezzy asshole."

Hi, Phil!

 

[JimiHendrix]

@Funko Pops NFT collector

for some reason i can not quote or directly reply to your post, only yours, so i don't know what jew magic you used but none the less.

"In my opinion Phil narcissism, lies, manipulation ,autism and his dented fans are more funny than him being shit at games"

that shit just never interested me since, yeah, phil's a fat stupid fuck who lies. i've known to never believe a single word he says since he lied about that reporter all those years ago. he doesn't lie in inventive ways, he doesn't concoct these grand manipulations, he just "nah, that didn't happen". that's boring as fuck.

i want to see the fat boy fuck up in games because he DOES fuck up in new inventive ways. I never foresaw him getting stuck in a graveyard for 8 fucking minutes unable to find the door. god damn.

even though phil's gameplay is boring these days i can not imagine tuning into his prestreams, listening to that shit for 2 hours and then tuning out. you kids are gonna get straight fuckin' brain rot.

but hey, if that's how you enjoy the fat boy. feel free. i just miss the days of fuckin' motorstorm apocalypse, seeing phil go off a ramp, sailing through the air straight into the god damn abyss as he screams the entire way. kinda how his careers goin', innit?

 

[Xavier Renegade Angel]

wonder if derich, emil or OIC will drop the biggest chunk of change on snort yet, when he does this BS down the rabbit hole stream

He's gonna be review tech USA with a schedule. With support this low he'll have too.

 

[Funko Pops NFT collector]

@Funko Pops NFT collector

for some reason i can not quote or directly reply to your post, only yours, so i don't know what jew magic you used but none the less.

"In my opinion Phil narcissism, lies, manipulation ,autism and his dented fans are more funny than him being shit at games"

that shit just never interested me since, yeah, phil's a fat stupid fuck who lies. i've known to never believe a single word he says since he lied about that reporter all those years ago. he doesn't lie in inventive ways, he doesn't concoct these grand manipulations, he just "nah, that didn't happen". that's boring as fuck.

i want to see the fat boy fuck up in games because he DOES fuck up in new inventive ways. I never foresaw him getting stuck in a graveyard for 8 fucking minutes unable to find the door. god damn.

even though phil's gameplay is boring these days i can not imagine tuning into his prestreams, listening to that shit for 2 hours and then tuning out. you kids are gonna get straight fuckin' brain rot.

but hey, if that's how you enjoy the fat boy. feel free. i just miss the days of fuckin' motorstorm apocalypse, seeing phil go off a ramp, sailing through the air straight into the god damn abyss as he screams the entire way. kinda how his careers goin', innit?

Yes, his lies are stupid and amount to "nuhu,didn't happen" , but isn't that funny in some absurd kind of way? To give an example, I remember watching a cops reality show made in the US, at one point the police detains a gentleman of color, handcuffs him and makes him lay on his stomach on the ground, after doing this the police officer starts feeling aroud the guy to check if he has something on him and finds a pistol, after grabbing the pistol the police officer asks him about it and the nibba says "That's not my gun!!!", the officer replies "You had it on you!" and the nibba replies "That's not mine!!!", in a way that's comedy gold isn't it? being caught red handed and lying so blatantly like a complete retard is funny.

This is what Phil does, he lies all the time about everything and his lies are terrible, they are so bad that only literal autistic and retarded people will believe them(and sometimes not even they believe him) it's also entertaining in a way too see how low he will go, I find it funny when he does things like claiming he didn't hit the tips goal because someone donated a number ending in .99 so Phil rounded it up to 99/100 and proceeded to beg for donations to hit the tips goal.

He is complete shameless manipulative liar narcissist with autism and low IQ that just keeps sinking lower and lower and he keeps coping about his situation(which causes him to say ridiculous things), and to add to that you have a ton of other characteristics like being extremely lazy, having terrible health,financial irresponsibility, etc. You don't consider those things funny in a way? I guess that I find it funny because watching lolcows for me is about watching circus shows where the attraction is a person who is a mess.

Also since you mentioned watching his pre-streams, I find these things funny but at least I can't watch him raw for more than 10 minutes since it's torture, I think most people get their dose of Phil from indirect sources like this subforum or twitter, and when they listen to Phil stream they are using a re-streamer as a buffer.

P.D: You might not be able to reply to me but as long as you and others can give me those sweet ratings for dopamine hits I guess it's not too important, winners help me the most right now and it goes straight to my reaction score.

 

[JimiHendrix]

You don't consider those things funny in a way? I guess that I find it funny because watching lolcows for me is about watching circus shows where the attraction is a person who is a mess.

i've been watching phil for i think around 12 years. all the stuff you find amusing about him kinda lost it's luster around year 10, honestly.

but maybe it's just me...the majority seem to be here for the prestreams and nothing else these days.

 

[Zappin’ And Spazzin’]

The ending to the story of Phillip Burnell will not be a scenario where he loses his whales, it will be when he either drops dead on stream or drops dead during his "break" or between streams. No way he's dying on his off day. He'll brute force the health culprit and opt to die on the following day.

The Incident WAS the ending of Darksydephil. That was our climax and when everything began to spiral downhill. Leanna walking out on his ass was the last arc.
What we've been left with since is a husk who knows nothing beyond "Get money, spend money". Anyone expecting more than a slow burn from here on out is probably someone who joined during the bankruptcy arc.

 

[HippoX]

Can I get the in and out of how ordering food and such to a gated neighborhood works. Paid for 100 percent.

 

[iNEEDthatMoney]

You would need to report him with a lot of bots for YT to do anything about it. Or rally a lot of people to report him at the same time. YT is fully automated, the reports need to trigger the algorithm.

I hope everybody is doing their part!

 

[Iron Father]

...his snorts and head shakes make me want to cause him physical harm

For me it's his throat clears, they're so sharp into the mic it's like being stabbed in the ears.

 

[snort inquisition]

Can I get the in and out of how ordering food and such to a gated neighborhood works. Paid for 100 percent.

in the notes for the order when you place it there's fields for things like gate codes, special instructions, etc, so he can probably put his gate code there and say "leave the food at the door" (classic introvert move)

 

[Fartsyde Dill]

Why is he downloading Bassmasters?

Derich recommended it, he didn't notice the B at the start.

EDIT ***New Derich stalker arc incoming***
Firstly: what in the living fuck could he have done to this poor porngirl that necessitated a public apology? I'm getting actual spine shivers just considering the options.

Secondly: he pronounces the ch as in church??? Who knew? I thought the whole "Derisch" thing was just because of how Phil's sloppy mouth pronounced it.

Making the apology video while wearing a jizz-stained t-shirt is a nice touch, by the way.