Crossover 8/27/2022 Andy Warski vs. Salt Papi - Ethan Ralph bitched out of the fight blaming Jim and a-logs, "Salt Papi" enters the ring at the O2 Arena in London

[Slimy Time]

Im contacting PPP to get them to talk to Street Beefs promoter today for the fight for a contract. Wish me luck kiwis.

Street beefs is great. Might entice Gunt since it reminds him of the swamplands.

 

[Weeb Slinger]

Warksi is like Conner McCloud in the battle between rival Scottish clans at the beginning of Highlander, where nobody will fight him.

I'm not sure who the Kurgan is in this metaphor - Sam Hyde, perhaps.

The Ethan Ralph training montage will be epic:

Ralph sawing through an overdone, unseasoned steak like it's a cross-section of tree trunk!

Ralph unintentionally performing a couple of unsatisfactory sit ups as he attempts to raise himself off his sharting couch!

Ralph on his front porch, hurling a box of diapers at the taillights of a car, like an angry cyclops!

Ralph trapped in his own sweater, wearing it half on / half off around his shoulders like a yoke, as pumps his tiny arms and thrashes about from side in an attempt to get free!

 

[Mr E. Grifter]

The ranting about claiming he was going to take it seriously is delusional. Ralph hasn't done actual exercise in decades, I would say most likely since he was a child.

Someone like Ralph would need months just to be able to get to the state where they can run for thirty minutes in one go. That's if and only if he doesn't pick up injuries. Yet he will, he has atrophied muscles, he's morbidly obese, has addictions and is inactive, so he will need to be very careful when he is getting fit to avoid injury. This will drastically slow down his ability to raise his level of fitness.

Consider boxing training, amateurs will usually keep good fitness all the time but if they are serious they will enter a 6-8 week camp before the fight. During this time, they will diet strictly, avoid smoking and alcohol. Their fitness will at minimum include a morning run and a boxing/sparring session later in the day, with two days for recovery. Final week tends to just be running.

Unless Ralph massively drops the weight prior to the camp, he will not be able to complete it. Running will cause him injuries, and the strain of repetitive punching of bags will fuck his atrophied arms up.

 

[Cheeseburger Picnic]

 

[Radical Cadre]

I wonder if Ralph is going to use the same guy that Tonka used to fake his blood work.

 

[Mr E. Grifter]

I wonder if Ralph is going to use the same guy that Tonka used to fake his blood work.

On that, didn't it turn out that Tonka was a meth addict?

It was obvious he was going to duck the fight from early on, but I wonder if that was the real reason he avoided having his bloods done.

 

[JoseRaulChupacabra]

There's gonna be some kind of snag around here. This shit never pulls through. Andy might just get another IBS Championship while Ralph buys himself a belt and declare himself kang.

You think he ever rides Neigh? Ralph gets out of breath talking. Let's face it she is a horse that is never mounted.

stallion who gunts the world.

 

[Radical Cadre]

On that, didn't it turn out that Tonka was a meth addict?

It was obvious he was going to duck the fight from early on, but I wonder if that was the real reason he avoided having his bloods done.

Here's the refresher course:

 

[Jebu Nagazi]

We genuinely need to bring back straight up gladiator death matches, lions and chariots and all. I would love to see Ralph crammed into one of these
View attachment 3226657

Imagine a LION swallowing Ralph just to die of a deadly Cholesterol overdose!

 

[Puck]

We're gonna get a fight, Ralph's entire personality is based around being a tough street wigger, if he backs out at least half of his dozen remaining paypigs will bail

 

[6MillionCoofs]

Imagine a LION swallowing Ralph just to die of a deadly Cholesterol overdose!

Lion swallows Ralph.
Andy jumps in sfterwatds, not to save Ralph but to save the lion.

 

[Wine em Dine em 69 em]

Let’s cut out all the fake gay BS and settle it tonight with naked jumping jacks, man to man.
I’m not giving up the dream.

 

[State Champ]

Ralph would never accept the fight because Warski isn't a woman.

 

[Mask_de_SMITH]

This fight is never gonna fucking happen. And even if it does the only person who'll end up winning this fight is Null because this whole autistic bullshit started with him making a Children of the Corn joke. Warski and Ralph are both faggots and I don't care who "wins", I'm just here for the lmaos.

 

[Don'tAnalizeMeBro!]

The part that made me howl with laughter on Sunrise Productions' "Warski vs Ralph IRL Fight Announced / Ralph Responds to Getting a Wellness Check" is when Ralph says maybe MMA vs. Warski would be better because of endurance.

Edit: 15:40 is where he says he was thinking MMA might be better from an endurance standpoint. I don't know WTF he's talking about. It must be a product of his drug-addled, damaged from an alleged beatdown in Portugal brain.

Ralph as someone who has watched MMA off and on since UFC 1 YOU DO NOT WANT A FIGHT VS. WARSKI TO BE UNDER MMA RULES! Why? Because your legs cannot take more than one or two solid kicks and the gloves would be the smaller MMA gloves which will allow your opponent to use his or her palm and grab you as well as their punches having much less padding than with a boxing glove.

Ralph's beast case scenario would be a'la UFC3's Keith Hackney vs. Emmanuel Yarborough, where Hackney won the fight but had to bow out of the rest of the tournament because he hurt his wrist.

If anyone's curious:

IMHO Ralph will want:
- Boxing rules
- Headgear
- Bigger than the usual regulation boxing gloves
- No drug tests
- Both of Warski's hands tied behind his back.

Ralph is ALL talk NO walk.

 

[DumbDude42]

We're gonna get a fight, Ralph's entire personality is based around being a tough street wigger, if he backs out at least half of his dozen remaining paypigs will bail

his paypigs are dumb as shit, he'll present some bullshit argument about how it's all warskis fault and they'll eat it up and call him based

 

[Mr E. Grifter]

Here's the refresher course:

Typo, meant he wasn't going to fight.

 

[Max Free]

Can't wait for the Gunt to throw steroids into the mix of alcohol, cocaine and xanax. Genuinely excited for the results of this cocktail.

 

[AncientPhosphur]

We're gonna get a fight, Ralph's entire personality is based around being a tough street wigger, if he backs out at least half of his dozen remaining paypigs will bail

Ralph won’t make medical. He’s already had a heart attack. They’ll require him to get follow ups with a cardiologist before getting signed off. Ralph will refuse because he’s a poor broke wigger, but show up to the fight anyway high as fuck hollering how they should let him fight and how actually they’re the cowards for not letting him fight.

 

[Stiles]

Street beefs is great. Might entice Gunt since it reminds him of the swamplands.

Shout out to Arizona dealing with the Tunnel Fire
Shout out to Antarctic icecaps being ravaged by climate change
Shout out to Singapore dealing with authoritarian lockdowns by the CCP for being the center of anti-xi senitment in China
Shout out to Elon musk getting dragged by fags on twitter
Shout out to Colorado State Rep. David Williams attempt to be placed on the ballot as "Let's Go Brandon"
Shout out to my girl Rachael