Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Gentlebastard]

“Wow. What a statement!” Jack is in awe, but it’s not due to religious zeal motivating him towards a path of righteousness.

Nah, I interpret this as a lightbulb going off in what’s left of his mind, specifically the “The Spirit allows me to sin all I want” part. He’s found a sin loophole where he can *consciously* disobey God all he wants and still be forgiven with open arms. We may be getting closer to Jack leaving Tammy to go back to CA to pursue his true sexual desires after shoving them down for just over two decades.

Don’t worry, Jack! Get you apartment in The Castro*, start wearing vibrant colors and really short shorts, and live your best life…because Jesus is totes cool with it now! Get you sex swing. Get you Bad Dragon collection. Get you gift-giver at bug chasing party. Live it up before you hit the ground for the final time and your last thoughts are regret over how you wasted your life by not expressing your true identity as a FABULOUS gay man.


*Based on Jack’s broke-ass financial insolvency, he’d probably have to find an arrangement where he functions as a live-in fistpig for some deviant who fetishizes cripples, in exchange for shelter. CA prices are high, and it’s not like he wouldn’t be homeless if he had to fend for himself in TN.

>Implying Jack can buy even a bus ticket to downtown Hendersonville without Big T's financial, logistic, and physical support

 

[OctoChef]

Someone should introduce Jack to 'Mett', i.e raw ground beef on bread with onions. He'd find a way to make it even more hazardous to eat.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mett

 

[Skwisgaar Skwigelf]

I just keep waking up at my computer with the video editor open and these videos are there PLEASE HELP!

 

[AnOminous]

Someone should introduce Jack to 'Mett', i.e raw ground beef on bread with onions. He'd find a way to make it even more hazardous to eat.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mett

I thought it was usually pork. The most autistic way to eat it is literally to form a mound of it into a hedgehog shape and stick other autistic stuff into it. You can also make a neat sausage out of it and smoke and cure that if the whole eating raw pork thing is too far.

 

[Gentlebastard]

Someone should introduce Jack to 'Mett', i.e raw ground beef on bread with onions. He'd find a way to make it even more hazardous to eat.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mett

Chicken Mett would be the obvious choice for the Salmonella Suzerain. With unnecessarily added pepper, to guarantee Tammy won't even consider taking a bite.

 

[Bassomatic]

Someone should introduce Jack to 'Mett', i.e raw ground beef on bread with onions. He'd find a way to make it even more hazardous to eat.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mett

Mett is fucking boss. It's not easiest to get as an American, and I'm in an area that was/is settled by Germans.

I fucking love it, it's like pig butter, and we all know how good bread and butter go Mettbrötchen mit zwiebel is a huge treat for me. Mrs Basso won't kiss me after it, so that's a mixed blessing.

Mett is pork, if you mean ground beef, that's tartar, another thing I love. I also eat cooked meat, I'm just genetically a kraut, I'm not a wendigo. (that's exactly what a skin walker would say.....)

 

[Aaway]

 

[DontEatThat]

View attachment 3237845

The turkeys are enacting revenge against Jack for his crime against poultry.

Even the wild animals that live around Jack hate him and troll him.

 

[Blasterisk]

View attachment 3237845

50% chance Jack tried to catch them, but gave up after realizing they weren't sufficiently undercooked.

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

50% chance Jack tried to catch them, but gave up after realizing they weren't sufficiently undercooked.

Nah he probably lumbered after them, they laughed in his face and kept just out of reach and then when he stopped and stood there huffing and puffing they turned to attack and he waddled back home in terror.

 

[ZipDisk]

I can never find the video where the turkeys are attacking his screen door and he just whines at them.

 

[Pig Cups]

View attachment 3237845

Surprised he didn’t say “LoOK gUiyZ tHe jEhOVah’S wiTnESs tUrKEyS aRE bAck.”

ETA:
Here’s the video, @ZipDisk.

“The Jehovah’s Witness turkeys…Look, I’m a Christian…”

This really is Jack at some of his dumbest- trying to make a funny, but coming off as detestable. Towards the end, he waddles up to the door, making dog (pig?) noises to scare them away, before admitting that he’s afraid to go outside because of a possible turkey attack.

 

[captkrisma]

Bunch of news articles today in Nashville about Apple airtags being used by criminals to stalk victims. Be a real shame if HOPE somehow went missing because of this happening!

 

[Eljudnir]

Surprised he didn’t say “LoOK gUiyZ tHe jEhOVah’S wiTnESs tUrKEyS aRE bAck.”

ETA:
Here’s the video, @ZipDisk.
“The Jehovah’s Witness turkeys…Look, I’m a Christian…”

This really is Jack at some of his dumbest-trying to make a funny, but coming off as detestable. Towards the end, he waddles up to the door, making dog (pig?) noises to scare them away, before admitting that he’s afraid to go outside because of a possible turkey attack.

Holy shit he actually shows us his lack of object permanence. The camera is on the turkeys the entire time but when they both get blocked by the post he goes "where'd they go?" followed by "oh there they are" when they peek out past the pillar.

 

[Aunt Myrna]

View attachment 3237845

Sounds like he's gearing up to call the cops on these dangerous vandals. Replace turkey with your choice of race/slur and it sounds just as natural coming out of his fat mouth.

"Just got a picture of these Mexicans in my neighborhood. What is the world coming to? OBJ OBJ"

 

[ZipDisk]

I love how the turkeys look like they want to fight him, and he knows they could take him. [OBJ] [OBJ]

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

Surprised he didn’t say “LoOK gUiyZ tHe jEhOVah’S wiTnESs tUrKEyS aRE bAck.”

ETA:
Here’s the video, @ZipDisk.
View attachment 3238967
“The Jehovah’s Witness turkeys…Look, I’m a Christian…”

This really is Jack at some of his dumbest-trying to make a funny, but coming off as detestable. Towards the end, he waddles up to the door, making dog (pig?) noises to scare them away, before admitting that he’s afraid to go outside because of a possible turkey attack.

So does Mushbrain not understand that Jehovah's Witnesses are also Christians or at least identify as such? Or is he one of those that thinks that Protestants are only the true Christians? I know he has weird beliefs but how much of that is him and how much of it is the church he belongs to?

I love how the turkeys look like they want to fight him, and he knows they could take him. [OBJ] [OBJ]

Why do you think he hid behind the door?

 

[Hungry Homeless Handjob]

The [OBJ] thing happens because Jack never updates the OS on his laptop or phone. There's a vein of Boomers/Gen Xers who think that downloading updates for your devices will make them stop working or something. So they just never, ever update their stuff until it all breaks,

Or maybe OBJ OBJ OBJ is the sound Jack makes when horking down another cheesy meat pile and it's leaking into his social media posts like an electronic poltergeist.

EDIT: Don’t want to double post but Jack is so brain dead he probably thinks this account is real. Pay you student loan.

 

[Spasticus Autisticus]

The [OBJ] thing happens because Jack never updates the OS on his laptop or phone. There's a vein of Boomers/Gen Xers who think that downloading updates for your devices will make them stop working or something. So they just never, ever update their stuff until it all breaks,

Or maybe OBJ OBJ OBJ is the sound Jack makes when horking down another cheesy meat pile and it's leaking into his social media posts like an electronic poltergeist.

EDIT: Don’t want to double post but Jack is so brain dead he probably thinks this account is real. Pay you student loan.

View attachment 3239367

No, Jack was just showing off the auto-OCR feature in iOS 15. He might have some custom emoji pack that he uses without realizing that nobody else can see them.

 

[Altera]

The turkeys are enacting revenge against Jack for his crime against poultry.

Even the wild animals that live around Jack hate him and troll him.

Wild turkey are scavenger animals and can sense impending death of heard animals. I suspect Jack's final heart attack will be coming any day now. Those turkey will be FAT after that.