Ralph's Health & Mental Health - Ethan Ralph is allegedly in a coma according to some career a-log.

[The Big Dream]

When the gunt finally hatches like a scene from Alien, the Chris Chan curse will escape to find a new host.

Careful ye a-loggers — don't be around when it does, lest you be dragged into a living nightmare.

 

[Monchey]

I honestly don't understand why Ralph doesn't make money off of getting healthy. It would be so easy to do this in a couple of steps.

1) get a physical and reveal the results in a stream. This is to generate buzz from the haters, some sympathy from others, and to motivate Ralph to try and get his shit together.

2) get some health nut YouTuber to move into his house. The payoff is the internet cred for saving an obese idiots life.

3) live stream every single workout and meal, with the text to speech on full blast. Make a shitload of money and use it as motivation.

He would completely fail but for the first couple of days, he would have crazy numbers and make bank in super chats.

Ralph would probably do what WingsOfRedemption did for FPS bootcamp, except instead of a couple of days of training he would do none of it and still take the credit. Ralph probably doesn't want to stop taking pills, doing coke, drinking, or even eating shit from girls assholes even if its for his own good.

 

[The Littlest Shitlord]

Yes, the shiny hairless patches of skin on the shins are a classic symptom of peripheral artery disease. It is probably giving him pain in the shins after walking a short distance. But technically, he could have peripheral artery disease for other reasons besides being a diabetic. For example, if he has a massive clostridia bacterial colony, fueled to monstrous proportions by excess carnitine and choline from too much meat, festering away in his grotesque garbage gut. That would result in not only cardiovascular damage from trimethylamine oxide (TMAO), but would also poison his cerebellum with excess propionic acid causing lack of empathy, emotional meltdowns, and social dysfunction. (Clostridia overgrowth is also found in people with autism, unsurprisingly, as well as in some cases of irritable bowel syndrome.) Of course if he has that in addition to diabetes he's even more fucked than with diabetes alone.

I'd suggest treatment consisting of arginine (to improve circulation; it also counteracts the constipation that clostridia is notorious for), olive leaf extract (to kill clostridia), taurine (to produce bile salts for bacteriostatic action against clostridia and other gut pathogens he undoubtedly has; alcoholism causes gut dysbiosis), and actually getting off his 300 pound ass (the one in back, not the one in front) and walking for 30 minutes a day. But we all know that the booze and/or drugs will kill him first by liver failure, DUI, or heart attack.

I don't usually quote myself, but I belatedly realized something disturbing about Ralph's gut bacteria: his habit of eating shit from mentally ill women's assholes is a really good way to pick up whatever gut microbes they have. And it's not just autism, but many mental illnesses, including schizophrenia, are associated with a disturbed gut microbiome. It's like he's mega manning mental illnesses. But he's not smart enough to understand what he's doing, and if he did, he (probably) wouldn't be self-destructive enough to do it. It's a literally demonic urge. He's literally possessed, or at least strongly demonically influenced.

 

[gang weeder]

I honestly don't understand why Ralph doesn't make money off of getting healthy. It would be so easy to do this in a couple of steps.

1) get a physical and reveal the results in a stream. This is to generate buzz from the haters, some sympathy from others, and to motivate Ralph to try and get his shit together.

2) get some health nut YouTuber to move into his house. The payoff is the internet cred for saving an obese idiots life.

3) live stream every single workout and meal, with the text to speech on full blast. Make a shitload of money and use it as motivation.

He would completely fail but for the first couple of days, he would have crazy numbers and make bank in super chats.

I was gonna point out how impossible this is until I got to the bottom of your post and saw that you're saying he could make some bank even from just doing this for 2 days. That is true and a lot more realistic than Ralph ever actually getting fit at all. However the thing is, with people who are in the middle of spiraling substance abuse addictions, they can't go even a single day without the drugs and be able to function. If he doesn't get his cocktail of pills/liquor/coke he likely suffers debilitating withdrawals that put him on his ass, in a lot of pain, and hollerin' for relief. I'm not memeing or exaggerating either severe alcoholics can actually die from the withdrawal if they quit cold turkey.

Which brings me to the realization that he could still pull off something similar to what you suggest, but it would have to be "getting sober" and going to rehab first before it could be "getting healthy." However this is impossible because Ralph's wigger pride would never allow him to admit to the haters that he has substance problems and needs help to the point of going to rehab, not even as a stunt for views and money. And so he remains trapped and unable to change, the drugs stop him from getting healthy, the wigger pride stops him from getting sober, it's all a vicious spiraling cycle bringing us the greatest lolcow khantent since Chris-chan.

It also brings me to something which I feel like I've probably said before but, going back to jail for at least a year (but maybe even longer) would actually be the best thing that could happen to Ralph long term. Because it's the only possible way that he could actually sober up and then be forced to reflect on his life a bit without being constantly distracted by the need to holler at the haydurs and aylawgs from fan fiction farms.

 

[Slimy Time]

It's incredibly easy to throw those scales off. Notice how far in front of him he's holding his phone. He's likely leaning on something to reduce the weight. I tested with mine and just holding onto the door handle I dropped almost 30 pounds off.

His self weigh ins are bullshit.

Regardless of whether he's bullshitting, he's trying to use 252lbs at 5'1 as a flex over Boogie in the health department.

 

[Wine em Dine em 69 em]

I was gonna point out how impossible this is until I got to the bottom of your post and saw that you're saying he could make some bank even from just doing this for 2 days. That is true and a lot more realistic than Ralph ever actually getting fit at all. However the thing is, with people who are in the middle of spiraling substance abuse addictions, they can't go even a single day without the drugs and be able to function. If he doesn't get his cocktail of pills/liquor/coke he likely suffers debilitating withdrawals that put him on his ass, in a lot of pain, and hollerin' for relief. I'm not memeing or exaggerating either severe alcoholics can actually die from the withdrawal if they quit cold turkey.

Which brings me to the realization that he could still pull off something similar to what you suggest, but it would have to be "getting sober" and going to rehab first before it could be "getting healthy." However this is impossible because Ralph's wigger pride would never allow him to admit to the haters that he has substance problems and needs help to the point of going to rehab, not even as a stunt for views and money. And so he remains trapped and unable to change, the drugs stop him from getting healthy, the wigger pride stops him from getting sober, it's all a vicious spiraling cycle bringing us the greatest lolcow khantent since Chris-chan.

It also brings me to something which I feel like I've probably said before but, going back to jail for at least a year (but maybe even longer) would actually be the best thing that could happen to Ralph long term. Because it's the only possible way that he could actually sober up and then be forced to reflect on his life a bit without being constantly distracted by the need to holler at the haydurs and aylawgs from fan fiction farms.

Agree with all you said.
When Ralph avoided jail in January, he chose the path to an earlier death.

 

[NetVet]

Pink shirt comparison
...
Clearly that pink shirt is under extreme stress.

My sides....dear lawd.

I think I first saw Full Size Ralph during the livestream on Jan 6th. I think he was doing the livestream for El Jefe Nino De La Raza Bianca, they were openly buddying over Twitter at that time, which was based and optical as everything AF related is, and the wignats were seething as they usually do.

He really looked like a fucking disgusting trailer trash, and I hate that stereotype because Shlomo uses it in movies to make fun of Da Whitey, but then again I saw that livestream and saw how he bumbles around like a fat pig, cackling around, gruesome visions. And a true trailer trash indeed, with no self-respect whatsoever.

 

[bryz7]

Damn some of you saying 2/3 years, I’m gonna say 15-20 years. You’d be surprised how many of these alcoholics/drug addicts live into their 50s/60s but it isn’t enjoyable for them

 

[Retrodogkiller]

Damn some of you saying 2/3 years, I’m gonna say 15-20 years. You’d be surprised how many of these alcoholics/drug addicts live into their 50s/60s but it isn’t enjoyable for them

I'm just saying 2-3 years because he's had a heart attack already and is obviously suffering from a kidney or heart condition or both. Not to mention his BMI of 50+. Yes angry alcoholic drug addicts can live long lives, but most of them aren't fat fucks like Ralph.

 

[Jack Awful]

I honestly don't understand why Ralph doesn't make money off of getting healthy. It would be so easy to do this in a couple of steps.

1) get a physical and reveal the results in a stream. This is to generate buzz from the haters, some sympathy from others, and to motivate Ralph to try and get his shit together.

2) get some health nut YouTuber to move into his house. The payoff is the internet cred for saving an obese idiots life.

3) live stream every single workout and meal, with the text to speech on full blast. Make a shitload of money and use it as motivation.

He would completely fail but for the first couple of days, he would have crazy numbers and make bank in super chats.

That would require delaying the instant gratification of food, drugs, and lazing around, which he could never do.

 

[Blue Miaplacidus]

Like I said before 252 is a believable number because of his odd shaped atrophied bitch body. He has no muscle and he's very short. I mean legitimately none look at his arms, calves, traps etc no definition at all, nothing hiding under the fat. Muscle weighs more than fat, and he has none. His legs are tiny stick figures, he's built like a california raisin. He has an alcoholic's body 100%.

He might have actually lost a little bit of weight recently but it's going to bite him in the ass. When you first lose weight for whatever reason, change in diet, cutting down booze, actually working out (not in ralph's case) you drop the first 20-30lbs super quickly and easily, but anything past that is hard work. He will never be able to have to self control to stick with a strict diet and workout routine to lose further weight. He will decide his body is a-logging him and quickly gain back anything he lost plus more.

At ralph's non-meme actual height of 5'3'' he should be anywhere between 107-140lbs to be considered normal and healthy, he's more than 100lbs overweight and deep into the morbidly obese category. The only way ralph will reach those numbers is when the worms do all the work for him 6 feet deep in a pinebox.

 

[Braphamut]

I would guess he doesnt eat rugulary, so the effects of chronic alcoholism will be much worse in him than in normal drinkers.

Inclined to agree. He seems to take a photograph whenever he consumes meat or anything meal worthy. As comical as these grey mounds are he probably has a pretty low protein intake overall. Alcohol and sugar are metabolic nightmares. Working class people have frequent burgers and BBQs but they can convert that into some muscle mass because they move around doing things most days. Fat laborer is a lot more solid than a squishy alky.

Ralph sits around all day terminally online except for his drug runs and three or four events a year, which are still 90% sitting on your ass and being online (driving and shows).

 

[Wine em Dine em 69 em]

What’s that thing called when you sit on your ass most of your life, Pulmonary embolism?
How does that sound Ralph buddy?

 

[Polyboros2]

I don't usually quote myself, but I belatedly realized something disturbing about Ralph's gut bacteria: his habit of eating shit from mentally ill women's assholes is a really good way to pick up whatever gut microbes they have. And it's not just autism, but many mental illnesses, including schizophrenia, are associated with a disturbed gut microbiome. It's like he's mega manning mental illnesses. But he's not smart enough to understand what he's doing, and if he did, he (probably) wouldn't be self-destructive enough to do it. It's a literally demonic urge. He's literally possessed, or at least strongly demonically influenced.

Jesus Christ, it was15 years ago when I first started hearing this corpophilic nonsense that what ever ails you could be fixed by eating other people's shit. I never would of believed I'd still hear people passing along this snake oil nonsense.

Ralph isn't getting mental conditions from eating shit, he eats shit cause he has mental conditions.

 

[gang weeder]

Like I said before 252 is a believable number because of his odd shaped atrophied bitch body. He has no muscle and he's very short. I mean legitimately none look at his arms, calves, traps etc no definition at all, nothing hiding under the fat. Muscle weighs more than fat, and he has none. His legs are tiny stick figures, he's built like a california raisin. He has an alcoholic's body 100%.

He might have actually lost a little bit of weight recently but it's going to bite him in the ass. When you first lose weight for whatever reason, change in diet, cutting down booze, actually working out (not in ralph's case) you drop the first 20-30lbs super quickly and easily, but anything past that is hard work. He will never be able to have to self control to stick with a strict diet and workout routine to lose further weight. He will decide his body is a-logging him and quickly gain back anything he lost plus more.

At ralph's non-meme actual height of 5'3'' he should be anywhere between 107-140lbs to be considered normal and healthy, he's more than 100lbs overweight and deep into the morbidly obese category. The only way ralph will reach those numbers is when the worms do all the work for him 6 feet deep in a pinebox.

View attachment 3239097View attachment 3239119View attachment 3239236

Yea I'm 5'4" and 126 so right in the middle of that, and people usually consider me on the skinny side if anything (though not excessively so). He's literally 2 of me and the second copy is probably pure gunt lard.

 

[Blue Miaplacidus]

Yea I'm 5'4" and 126 so right in the middle of that, and people usually consider me on the skinny side if anything (though not excessively so). He's literally 2 of me and the second copy is probably pure gunt lard.

it's really odd considering how skinny his arms and legs are.

 

[gang weeder]

it's really odd considering how skinny his arms and legs are.

It's literally all in his torso. He has a ball of grease and lard the size of me, an entire small person, packed in there. This is actually consistent with how men store fat to a degree, we tend to accumulate around the inner organs compared to women where fat spreads out more evenly across the body.

 

[Daily Affirmation]

Ralph retweeted this guy who took a screenshot of him on his show without the sunglasses. Boy is he looking rough and OLD. He is aging so rapidly from the alcohol and drug abuse, he legit looks 60 years old in this. No wonder he is always wearing the sunglasses now.

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View attachment 3236621
this is some fucking scary and rapid decline

Same energy.

 

[GaryGrey]

Not context of when or how bad but it is confirmed by Ralph that he has had a seizure.

Known health

• 36 years old
• Morbidly obese 39.5 BMI currently ~252 lbs May 2022 max weight 330 lbs
• Not taller than 5'7" (self admitted on the grill stream April 30th, 2022)
• Seizure
• Heart event (claims it was not a heart attack on one of the Vegas trips 2021)
• Fractured orbital resulting in a lazy eye (Portugal 2022)
• Pill addict
• Alcohol addict
• Gambling addict
• Smoker

Likely adverse health

• Cushing's Syndrome
• Several personality disorders

Imagine having been obese for over 25 years means there are a lot of conditions that have gone undiagnosed. The confirmed list alone should be a history that takes 65-75 years to accumulate and Ralph has managed to do it in half the time.

 

[Monchey]

Not context of when or how bad but it is confirmed by Ralph that he has had a seizure.

View attachment 3243661

Known health

• 36 years old
• Morbidly obese 39.5 BMI currently ~252 lbs May 2022 max weight 330 lbs
• Not taller than 5'7" (self admitted on the grill stream April 30th, 2022)
• Seizure
• Heart event (claims it was not a heart attack on one of the Vegas trips 2021)
• Fractured orbital resulting in a lazy eye (Portugal 2022)
• Pill addict
• Alcohol addict
• Gambling addict
• Smoker

Likely adverse health

• Cushing's Syndrome
• Several personality disorders

Imagine having been obese for over 25 years means there are a lot of conditions that have gone undiagnosed. The confirmed list alone should be a history that takes 65-75 years to accumulate and Ralph has managed to do it in half the time.

Don't forget Ralph also admitting to being a "Cokehead." I mean for all those times he called Warski a coke addict he straight up admitted to it when defending the fecal consuming allegation.