Plagued Consoomers / Consoomer Culture - Because if it has a recogniseable brand on it, I’d buy it!

[Gar For Archer]

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This has got to be a troll, right?

 

[Elysian]

This has got to be a troll, right?

I very much hope so, but hippy dippy women who are super into ~natural birth~ and other such new age bullshit are wacky enough that it could be real.
EDIT: We have a thread on them.

 

[Pissmaster]

This has got to be a troll, right?

If you consider that the person posting it thinks of Disney as a religion without realizing she does, it all makes sense

 

[Space Retard]

What you saw before was a consoomer's normal state.
Then, it was sponsored content and #sponcon, a consoomer who advertises without working for the company directly.
And this is to go even further beyond! Customers advertising for companies for free! For but the hope of free products and affiliate income!

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I can smell her fat breath through my screen.

 

[malapropism]

It's astonishing how popular and successful the MCU is with this demographic compared to the utter failure of modern Star Wars. I don't think I know a single person who saw TRoS in cinema.

Despite LucasArts taking new lows for mass merchandise from the 80-to the modern era, Star Wars spin-offs and supplementary media contained some distilled spirit of the original movies and enough freedom to have the author(s) implant into the derivative works. In short, not every licensed product or book series was for everyone. The X-wing books and games were for nerds who liked flight sims and military strategy, there was a kids focused series that transported Goosebumps into outer space, they had novels which were strict political dramas or edgy origin stories (the Darth Maul books). Everything made since 2015 carrying the Star Wars brand is designed to hit too many target demographics on a checklist and they all immensely suffer for it.

 

[moocow]

This thread got me curious about what a modern video game collectors edition looks like. For $110 more than the standard edition you too can be the proud owner of this landfill bait. A light smatter big of Acrylic, enamel, and cardboard for the low low price of $150. All to celebrate a cartridge that houses some roms.

This reminded me of the Juggernog Edition of Call of Duty: Black Ops 3. It was a special edition of BO3 that came with a bunch of the usual garbage of steel books, coasters, art, and shit like that. The collection was around $200 USD... Why? Because it came with a Juggernog themed minifridge!
edit:
fucked up the price, googled it and completely ignored the price in the top right of the image lmao, google gave me $280 in new zealand dollars

Do these "collector's editions" include a copy of the actual game?

Because starting a few years ago publishers have been scamming consoomers even harder by producing "collector's editions" of their games ... that don't actually include a copy of the game. Examples include Battlefield 1, Resident Evil 7, Red Dead Redemption 2, and so on.

And I don't mean "no physical copy but they include a download code." I mean "lol you don't get the game by buying this collector's edition at all, period."

Fucking brass balls on these people.

 

[PuffyGroundCloud]

Do these "collector's editions" include a copy of the actual game?

Because starting a few years ago publishers have been scamming consoomers even harder by producing "collector's editions" of their games ... that don't actually include a copy of the game. Examples include Battlefield 1, Resident Evil 7, Red Dead Redemption 2, and so on.

And I don't mean "no physical copy but they include a download code." I mean "lol you don't get the game by buying this collector's edition at all, period."

Fucking brass balls on these people.

I think EA started it with Mass Effect Andromeda
When they market the Mako RC as a special edition and put a tiny text that says “Game is not included”

 

[a very special boy]

Everything made since 2015 carrying the Star Wars brand is designed to hit too many target demographics on a checklist and they all immensely suffer for it.

It seems to be a recurring thing - death of a franchise by committee. Star Wars is such a basic fucking story, with basic characters, in a basic world. It's such a simple formula, you just need likable characters, a simple journey and an obvious villain. Kids don't need 13 new 'cute' alien designs to buy toys, they already think Luke Skywalker and his laser sword are cool. What kid wants a Zorri Bliss, or a Hux toy?


Even something like the original Star Trek, never needed to cater to specific demographics and still was hugely popular and sold a load of merchandise. Though Trek seems to have a similar problem with its modern shows. I don't know anyone watching Discover or Picard other than out of morbid curiosity. It feels like the "hype" around these shows is completely manufactured.

 

[Andrew Neiman]

You really have to shed a tear for whatever poor bastard is in charge of writing copy for products like this. "Okay, your next assignment is to write words to go on front of a Star Wars-themed fridge."

 

[a very special boy]

Minor autism, but since we're on the topic of Star Wars, I think Boba Fett might be the prime example of a consoom character. Before his own show and appearance in Mandalorian, the character has about 5 minutes of screen time over 3 movies. He doesn't even do anything except stand next to Darth Vader and die. Why is such a unimportant character so popular? His figures and toys are some of the best selling of any character in the whole franchise. Is it just because he has a cool design and his FunkoPop will look good on your reddit shelf?

 

[Free the Pedos]

Minor autism, but since we're on the topic of Star Wars, I think Boba Fett might be the prime example of a consoom character. Before his own show and appearance in Mandalorian, the character has about 5 minutes of screen time over 3 movies. He doesn't even do anything except stand next to Darth Vader and die. Why is such a unimportant character so popular? His figures and toys are some of the best selling of any character in the whole franchise. Is it just because he has a cool design and his FunkoPop will look good on your reddit shelf?

I think the accepted reason is that 1) he has a cool design 2) a cool ship 3) Lucas rolled those into cool toys.

 

[Myrtle the Turtle]

It seems to be a recurring thing - death of a franchise by committee. Star Wars is such a basic fucking story, with basic characters, in a basic world. It's such a simple formula, you just need likable characters, a simple journey and an obvious villain. Kids don't need 13 new 'cute' alien designs to buy toys, they already think Luke Skywalker and his laser sword are cool. What kid wants a Zorri Bliss, or a Hux toy?
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Even something like the original Star Trek, never needed to cater to specific demographics and still was hugely popular and sold a load of merchandise. Though Trek seems to have a similar problem with its modern shows. I don't know anyone watching Discover or Picard other than out of morbid curiosity. It feels like the "hype" around these shows is completely manufactured.

People also don't need to be bashed over the head with some moral woke message like the new Star Wars movies tried to do. I watch entertainment to enjoy a brief reprieve from clown world not to confronted with societies problems, real or imagined. Kids don't care for it either.

Also you know your character is poorly written or a token cast when even consoomers won't gobble it up after it sinks to the depths of the Wal-Mart bargain bin.

 

[Andrew Neiman]

Minor autism, but since we're on the topic of Star Wars, I think Boba Fett might be the prime example of a consoom character. Before his own show and appearance in Mandalorian, the character has about 5 minutes of screen time over 3 movies. He doesn't even do anything except stand next to Darth Vader and die. Why is such a unimportant character so popular? His figures and toys are some of the best selling of any character in the whole franchise. Is it just because he has a cool design and his FunkoPop will look good on your reddit shelf?

Were you never a child?

 

[Jonah Hill poster]

I sometimes do get a kick out of the rabid Star Wars consumers that liked Rey’s character so much, yet the action figures for her are always still propped on the shelves never touched or opened.

Say what you want, but I remember the days when people wanted Darth Maul, Darth Vader and Stormtrooper figurines as nice collectibles. It’s kind of insane how these new age Star Wars fans went down on a downward spiral only collecting things for collection’s sake, but not caring about the new characters introduced in the franchise.

Not even the most hated character Jar-Jar Binks was remotely comparable to Rey, as far as action figures are concerned.

 

[Zbk3VmLfujjzjxBd43tL]

Minor autism, but since we're on the topic of Star Wars, I think Boba Fett might be the prime example of a consoom character. Before his own show and appearance in Mandalorian, the character has about 5 minutes of screen time over 3 movies. He doesn't even do anything except stand next to Darth Vader and die. Why is such a unimportant character so popular? His figures and toys are some of the best selling of any character in the whole franchise. Is it just because he has a cool design and his FunkoPop will look good on your reddit shelf?

Because he has objectively good character design and writing in Empire Strikes Back given what his character and role in the story is supposed to be. He has badass armor, a badass ship, and is introduced with the line "NO DISINTEGRATIONS" which leaves it to the audience's imagination as to just what this guy has done in the past while making you think "oh shit, Han's in some trouble if this guy finds him", which he does in the next scene where Han's brilliant escape plan is foiled by Boba Fett being a smart enough dude to see through it.

It might be a total of one minute, but that's all the audience needs when they're given something so cool and compelling.

Not even the most hated character Jar-Jar Binks was remotely comparable to Rey, as far as action figures are concerned.

I had a Jar Jar action figure when I was a kid. I wonder how much some manchild consoomer would've bought it for if I still owned it?

 

[Jimjamflimflam]

Minor autism, but since we're on the topic of Star Wars, I think Boba Fett might be the prime example of a consoom character. Before his own show and appearance in Mandalorian, the character has about 5 minutes of screen time over 3 movies. He doesn't even do anything except stand next to Darth Vader and die. Why is such a unimportant character so popular? His figures and toys are some of the best selling of any character in the whole franchise. Is it just because he has a cool design and his FunkoPop will look good on your reddit shelf?

Want to show your love of Boba Fett even more? Then get this 120k watch with a Boba Fett piece in the middle like a tacky kids watch.

https://hypebeast.com/2022/5/kross-studio-celebrates-may-the-fourth-120000-usd-boba-fett-collector-set-tourbillon

 

[The Gifted Kid]

Minor autism, but since we're on the topic of Star Wars, I think Boba Fett might be the prime example of a consoom character. Before his own show and appearance in Mandalorian, the character has about 5 minutes of screen time over 3 movies. He doesn't even do anything except stand next to Darth Vader and die. Why is such a unimportant character so popular? His figures and toys are some of the best selling of any character in the whole franchise. Is it just because he has a cool design and his FunkoPop will look good on your reddit shelf?

Characters with full face masks work well for toys and games because they act a vessel for you to project yourself onto. I remember I had a Boba Fett toy as a kid and I would pretend it was me under the helmet and ignore the movie canon. This is also the reason why characters like Spider-man, Ironman and the like are so popular.

 

[KMFDM Sucks]

You really have to shed a tear for whatever poor bastard is in charge of writing copy for products like this. "Okay, your next assignment is to write words to go on front of a Star Wars-themed fridge."

I knew someone who majored in "Industrial Design" aka designing shitty packages. They are all consoomers and live to be able to construct branded cardboard garbage.

 

[Pissmaster]

You really have to shed a tear for whatever poor bastard is in charge of writing copy for products like this. "Okay, your next assignment is to write words to go on front of a Star Wars-themed fridge."

I'd have fun with it, slipping in the slightest digs I could get away with aimed at the consoomers buying the products, something like "Your life is now finally complete with the Power of the Force GE Efficient™ refrigerator, a special edition fridge capable of feeding even the most ravenous Hutts™, Wookies™, and yourself."

 

[PuffyGroundCloud]

You really have to shed a tear for whatever poor bastard is in charge of writing copy for products like this. "Okay, your next assignment is to write words to go on front of a Star Wars-themed fridge."

Why cry when I can stealth-shitpost and get paid at the same time?

Enjoy the fresh, crisp lettuce that has been touched by the Force
Together, the Force is <insert relevant shit here>

I'll take $20, Dole
and Happy May 4th?