I’m writing this just as the thoughts come to my head so sorry if I ramble at all.
Just thought I’d readdress some things I’ve talked about before, and in turn, current events. The elephant in the room, I had bigoted humor, and some very privileged and bigoted views before Youtube. Point blank. I’ve talked openly about how YouTube changed me for the better, going from a very sheltered life to talking to people from all over the world, from different cultures and countries and communities. This is something I don’t mind talking about at all because I think growth is important, and that acknowledging that having done racist things, or other things of that nature, doesn’t make you racist. It’s your actions after knowing that what you did was racist or offensive that defines you. making sure you never do those things again, and recognizing that they’re gross, and completely unacceptable. that is what defines how you are as a person. Whether it’s a full blown racist ass “meme”, or just a micro aggression against a marginalized community. Recognizing it was wrong, and moving forward knowing that.
Some people grow up surrounded by only love & kindness & understanding and don’t realize how blessed they are to have been fed the things they were on social media, and things they were taught in school, from their parents, their friends, their local government, who all their role models were. Everyone has a different upbringing, and until you get out in the world and you meet people, you’re always a lot more ignorant. I didn’t have a twitter until 2018/19, a facebook, an Instagram, or any social media. Being able to talk to people in an instant, and have people not afraid to challenge my view point, or that didn’t have the exact same views as my friends or my family or my city, was something completely new to me. Something that at first I rejected completely, and didn’t try and LISTEN. I would listen just to know how to argue back, not to try and actually understand. Once I learned that there’s more to listening than just hearing what someone’s saying, I matured a lot and slowly but surely I met more and more awesome people and feel like a completely completely different person to even just 3 years ago when I had no social media at all.
Everything that people have been bringing up recently are things that are from videos that I deleted while I was learning and growing. There’s a reason you’re viewing it on the way back machine, and not my channel, and that they’ve been deleted since early 2020 or even 2019.
I’ve talked to fans of mine from all kinds of places and cultures and plenty of times that’s resulted in me deciding to take a video down, even if it was only one person I had a discussion with in private. A lot of my “humor” came from the YouTubers I watched growing up, and so knowing that, I’ve always strived to make sure my content is as friendly to people around the world as it possibly can be. No matter who it is. I feel like it’s my responsibility. I don’t want a kid to end up being accidentally hateful because it’s something that I made them feel like was okay. I’m not their parent, but sometimes creators can have more of an influence on someone’s heart than even their parents. I only want that to be positive.
It is upsetting seeing clips that I have removed long ago being brought up, because obviously they were removed for a reason. But like I’ve also talked about many times before, that’s going to unfortunately happen. When people see stuff like that, they will want some reassurance that you don’t hold those views, or that you were uninformed or being ignorant. but the fact is, that’s not always the case. Sometimes, you were just being racist. You can be being both ignorant and racist at the same time.
I’ve done racist things. I’ve done bigoted things. I’ve never done anything with the intent to harm someone, but I have definitely harmed groups of people without caring, or without understanding the effect my words or actions could have on that group. What struggles they have to deal with on a daily basis, and how me as a teenager didn’t care enough to understand that or realize that I was adding to hatefulness in the world. It sucks, it sucked, and I’m sorry.
It’s heartbreaking to see long since deleted clips resurface, because it’s paraded as if these are my current jokes, or my current positions, or that I am a horrible bigot, and when that happens, the hurt that my past self inflicted on probably a very small audience, now gets brought up again and amplified to hurt more people. It breaks my heart because I’ve always learned from my mistakes, and part of that has opened me up to being a lot more empathetic. It hurts seeing some of the random memes or jokes that I made growing up, because now I understand that they weren’t just jokes, they were harmful and they had real impact on those around me, even if I didn’t know it. People don’t need to see idiotic gross things that I did at a young age, or while growing up and finding myself as a person. that being said, I don’t want to just brush it off, because I feel like everything I’m saying here is important for you guys to hear, and it doesn’t matter how long ago something was, it’s bound to pop up at some point.
So I’ll just finish this by saying that I have nothing but love for everybody out there, I don’t care who you are, if you hate me or love me, where you’re from, or anything about you. you have value and worth, and you deserve to be listened to and understood. I’ll always do my best to learn and grow from my past mistakes, and listen to people when I make new ones, because I will. I ask that everyone judge me by my current content, my current character, and who I am now as a person, because that’s all I have to offer, and the best anyone can do. I’ll do my best to always be the best version of myself possible.
I’ll make a lot more mistakes, and I’m sure write a lot more apologies, but I’ll listen, learn and grow and I hope my audience will always make an effort to do the same. I’m sorry to anyone that I’ve hurt with some of the disgusting jokes or memes or opinions that I’ve posted in the past. This applies to anybody that I’ve ever offended, related to race, religion, sex, culture, or anything I’ve been ignorant about at all. I’m sure there’s a whole bunch, and it’s the internet, it’s all out there. I’ll always do my best to acknowledge when I’ve fucked up and make it clear to my audience, that way we can lead a better future generation of people thatve grown up on YouTube and make sure they don’t make the same mistakes that me, and many other people made growing up with the internet. All love, acceptance, and community. listening to everyone from anywhere and everywhere.
See you soon - Dream
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