I can't watch Hololive anymore
I don't know if this kind of post is allowed here. If it isn't, I'll delete it.
Don't get me wrong. Hololive is great. Full of hardworking people, amazing content and an awesome community. I am the problem. I am officialy diagnosed with a severe OCD. And where does Hololive join the scene? My OCD makes me want to know everything, watch everything, keep up with everything. And that's impossible.
Some months ago, I had finished listening and sorting all Hololive songs (covers and originals), and was trying to keep up with everyone (Holostars included). But then I had 4 thousand videos on Watch Later, and as I was trying to get rid of all this stuff, new songs/streams were happening and I was missing. And I needed to see every single thing. More and more stuff kept getting accumulated.
Eventually I stopped watching Holostars, to reduce the number of channels I had to see. It was a difficult decision, but honestly Holostars wasn't really a priority to me. I tried to reduce the number of Hololive channels too, but I love almost all the girls and I couldn't pick only a few channels to watch.
I know many people in the community have the same issue of accumulating videos and wanting to know everything. But it's different when you have OCD. I need to see and catalog every single video and it's an absolute nightmare. I can never relax. And I was also taking my driver license, I have my studies, my anime list, etc, etc. A lot of stuff simultaneously, which makes it truly impossible. r/HoloNews helped me gather information about every member and all events, but after some time, I was also accumulating HoloNews articles.
Anyway, I accumulated a lot of stuff and there are dozens of new videos/news every single day, so it's literally humanly impossible to keep up with everything.
In the end, I can't really watch Hololive anymore. Just one random stream every now and then. That I can never fully enjoy, because I keep thinking about all the other stuff that I didn't watch. I simply can't do it anymore. I've already missed many things, and I keep missing more and more because I can't organize myself and choose what to see.
I love Hololive, I love this community, but I am truly in pain. I don't want to stop watching the girls, but technically, I already did. My brain forced me to. I'm not giving up now, but it's getting harder and harder and I feel I'm just missing out everything. I couldn't check any new song released in the past 8 months or so. I missed hundreds of streams. I couldn't really get to know HoloX or HoloID gen 3...
I am sorry. I don't even know what was my intention with this post. I think I just needed to vent (sus
). I'm sorry if this post isn't allowed. I just had to get it off my chest. I don't know what I will do from now on. I hope I don't need to leave Hololive in the past, but sometimes I wonder it this is the only path I can take.
