Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

[artilleryfroth]

Patrick isn't as retarded as you guys think he is, he has read the fish and chips page on Wikipedia after all. He is referring to a fish kettle, a type of pan used for frying fish.
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That being said it would be very unwieldy to attack someone with, even when not filled with boiling oil, and wouldn't contain fish and chips at the same time.

Those were for poaching whole fish, not deep-frying battered or crumbed fillets. Fish and chips are deep fried.

 

[Oliver Onions]

It's going to be amazing for all the wrong reasons. Patrick knows he's too retarded to actually properly research anything about London, let alone victorian London. He'll throw out a few tidbits he took from reddit onto twitter to make it appear like he's doing something, but in practice he will be constantly reverting back to the broadest stereotypes imaginable, and then occasionally crowbarring in a bunch of exposition to explain the more "obscure" references he randomly chooses to include. He's going to miss sooooo many fucking anachronisms.

Forgive the TMI, but it's relevant: I once tried to write a story set in London, and it didn't get past the first chapter because I quickly realised I had no fucking idea what London was like. Even now, having been to London, I still don't. It's something you never really think of til you actually try to write something set in a real place, but you can't just go 'I jumped into a taxi outside my London flat on London Street and asked him to take me to London police station, via the London hospital'.

That's what I'm looking forward to most in Pat's garbage story: him trying to come up with increasingly contrived ways to get around having zero geographical knowledge of London, modern or historical. I 100% expect him to just use the streets from Monopoly and call it a day.

 

[Gay Mouth]

Probably fattier than what we call “chips” in the US. Across the pond, french fries are “chips.”

Chips is Patrick’s nickname for chips of niggeroni

If one thing is clear about Pat's writing style it's that he has the subtlety of a sledgehammer. He'll be flip-flopping between dumb parody and period authenticity on a word by word basis and I can't fucking wait. Its going to be the worst thing he's ever written.

You know what Pat could do to figure out how to write in the Dickensian style? Read some Dickens. Perhaps, A Christmas Carol. Fatbrain isn’t fond of reading, but I promise it’s good! And maybe his “jokes” and “references” would be more punchy if they weren’t just “Tom and Jerry go to London”. I guess I’ll give FatRick Duncelinson the cliffnotes: A Muppet Christmas Carol is quite good as well.

 

[RussianParasite]

Those were for poaching whole fish, not deep-frying battered or crumbed fillets. Fish and chips are deep fried.

Yeah but how many deep fried fish, chips, and light beers does one need to consume to become as overweight as Patrick Tomlinson?

 

[artilleryfroth]

That's what I'm looking forward to most in Pat's garbage story: him trying to come up with increasingly contrived ways to get around having zero geographical knowledge of London, modern or historical. I 100% expect him to just use the streets from Monopoly and call it a day.

I can’t fucking wait for his stupid novel, just so we can all shit on him for his stupidity about what he thinks London was like. It would be just like me writing a novel set in Iraq and getting all my “local info” from a fucking Frederick Forsyth novel.

 

[Roccosmoderndeath1]

Forgive the TMI, but it's relevant: I once tried to write a story set in London, and it didn't get past the first chapter because I quickly realised I had no fucking idea what London was like. Even now, having been to London, I still don't. It's something you never really think of til you actually try to write something set in a real place, but you can't just go 'I jumped into a taxi outside my London flat on London Street and asked him to take me to London police station, via the London hospital'.

That's what I'm looking forward to most in Pat's garbage story: him trying to come up with increasingly contrived ways to get around having zero geographical knowledge of London, modern or historical. I 100% expect him to just use the streets from Monopoly and call it a day.

There's a reason why it takes people years to pass the test to drive a black cab in London. Even someone who grew up in London would likely need to do heavy research if they want anything accurate, especially when it comes to historical fiction.

A fat, below 2.0 gpa yank that's too lazy to raise his own child would probably make London feel like Milwaukee, if I had to guess.

 

[kcbbq]

They aren’t even quite the same as French fries. A distinction that would escape someone who is fat and thinks chips are cooked in a kettle.

We all know that britbongs only cooking method is boiling food into mush.

 

[Catch The Rainbow]

More vacation pics, new selfie of piggy with his sow:

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Some jews were kicked off a plane, piggy takes those dirty kikes to task for not masking:

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He debates with some normies in the replies (1.7 GPA btw):

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Piggy trots out a couple of his old Drumph nicknames, they didn't go viral years ago and looks like they wont now:

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Patrick "Kill the Kikes child" Tomlinson arguing for the collective German punishment of Jews despite a few of them doing anything wrong because a few of the rest were engaged in wrongthink? I knew intellectually how anti semitic he was but seeing it laid out for me is horrific.

His hatred for Jews extends to Israel where he renames the Iron Dome because he cannot stand to use a name coined by Jews:

The only thing that's uglier than his hatred of minorities is his taste in art:

those eyes are haunting but not as haunting as a professional writer forgetting a space and placing a comma where there shouldn't be one.

 

[CatboyCumDump]

More vacation pics, new selfie of piggy with his sow:

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Some jews were kicked off a plane, piggy takes those dirty kikes to task for not masking:

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He debates with some normies in the replies (1.7 GPA btw):

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Piggy trots out a couple of his old Drumph nicknames, they didn't go viral years ago and looks like they wont now:

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I think Patrick is using an angle here to look thinner than he really is. Hey @John Andrews Stan do you think you could provide a more accurate version of this photo?

 

[Caverlock]

Flashback: Drunken, obese, daughter abandoning delinquent judgement debtor who barely graduated high school with a 1.78 GPA (1.2, discounting his Gym credits) mocks doctor's professorship


(A, L)

Mr. Tomlinson seems to think that an "assistant professor" is like a teacher's aide or something.

Update: In the two and a half years since the above exchange was archived, Dr. Plugh has become an associate professor! Well done! And...wh-what's this? TWO non-abandoned children!? Oh, now you're just showing off, Mike!

 

[artilleryfroth]

We all know that britbongs only cooking method is boiling food into mush.

Congratulations on knowing as much about English food as Fatrick knows. Maybe you should write a novel or two?

Flashback: Drunken, obese, daughter abandoning delinquent judgement debtor who barely graduated high school with a 1.78 GPA (1.2, discounting his Gym credits) mocks doctor's professorship

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Mr. Tomlinson seems to think that an "assistant professor" is like a teacher's aide or something.

Update: In the two and a half years since the above exchange was archived, Dr. Plugh has become an associate professor! Well done! And...wh-what's this? TWO non-abandoned children!? Oh, now you're just showing off, Mike!
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Imagine if this fat fuck had trooned out and Patricia had become a professor of philosophy.

 

[An Sionnach Seang]

maybe he thinks they get ye olde deep fried in a cauldron, like an absolute fucking boob

Edit: actually looks like that's kinda how they did it. they filled a cauldron with cooking fat and dropped the fish in. maybe the chips too?

yes, but in a separate pan - you don't want fish-flavoured chips (beef dripping is the best fat for frying chips)

also, in the 1860s, fish and chips would have been very rare outside of seaside resorts - before the days of freezers (and a distributed electricity supply, which didn't happen until the late 1890s), it was very difficult to keep a stock of fresh fish on hand without it going bad, and in the pre-wagon era, moving stocks of fresh fish a significant distance inland was a very slow process
if you ate fish caught anywhere near London - the few of them that survived going that far down the Thames! - you'd most likely catch cholera from all the shit in the water, and also come down with heavy metal poisoning from all the industrial pollution

They aren’t even quite the same as French fries. A distinction that would escape someone who is fat and thinks chips are cooked in a kettle.

yeah, they're quite a bit thicker, more Belgian/Dutch style than French

 

[kcbbq]

Congratulations on knowing as much about English food as Fatrick knows. Maybe you should write a novel or two?

I know all I need to know about English food from my English grandmother's house permanently reeking of over-boiled rutabagas, thank you very much.

 

[r00]

Forgive the TMI, but it's relevant: I once tried to write a story set in London, and it didn't get past the first chapter because I quickly realised I had no fucking idea what London was like. Even now, having been to London, I still don't. It's something you never really think of til you actually try to write something set in a real place, but you can't just go 'I jumped into a taxi outside my London flat on London Street and asked him to take me to London police station, via the London hospital'.

That's what I'm looking forward to most in Pat's garbage story: him trying to come up with increasingly contrived ways to get around having zero geographical knowledge of London, modern or historical. I 100% expect him to just use the streets from Monopoly and call it a day.

London is a fucking complicated, ever changing city with an insanely rich literary, historical, linguistic and sociopolitical background. He could've just quietly written a dumb book about some fictional cartoon London that only exists in the minds of fat Midwestern idiots, but no. He had to start flapping his gums about all the pointless "research" he's sort of half-doing.

 

[NotFatChild]

Flashback: Drunken, obese, daughter abandoning delinquent judgement debtor who barely graduated high school with a 1.78 GPA (1.2, discounting his Gym credits) mocks doctor's professorship

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View attachment 3273909(A, L)

Mr. Tomlinson seems to think that an "assistant professor" is like a teacher's aide or something.

Update: In the two and a half years since the above exchange was archived, Dr. Plugh has become an associate professor! Well done! And...wh-what's this? TWO non-abandoned children!? Oh, now you're just showing off, Mike!
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Nowhere near as prestigious as a best-selling scifi novelist, child.

 

[Associate Rick]

Imagine if this fat fuck had trooned out and Patricia had become a professor of philosophy.

Patricia would be a leader in the HAES movement.

 

[AnOminous]

Mr. Tomlinson seems to think that an "assistant professor" is like a teacher's aide or something.

Being a retard who got a pity diploma, he doesn't understand terms relating to tenure track.

Update: In the two and a half years since the above exchange was archived, Dr. Plugh has become an associate professor! Well done! And...wh-what's this? TWO non-abandoned children!? Oh, now you're just showing off, Mike!

Wow that's his real name. I'd thought it was a pseudo and he was a Gen-X/Boomer making a Zork reference.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

The real reason Pat went to LA was to deliver an unsolicited lecture to studio executives about the lack of POC in Hollywood’s portrayal of the smoked meats manufacturing process. He only got as far as the paid studio tour and did not take the rejection well.



I wish he’d stop taking close up selfies of Big Niki. Pretty sure she’s not thrilled he’s putting photos of her mustache on the internet. It’s a shitty thing to do to your wife. Passive Aggressive Pat, too cowardly to handle disputes with his wife like a man, strikes again.

 

[Spunt]

London is a fucking complicated, ever changing city with an insanely rich literary, historical, linguistic and sociopolitical background. He could've just quietly written a dumb book about some fictional cartoon London that only exists in the minds of fat Midwestern idiots, but no. He had to start flapping his gums about all the pointless "research" he's sort of half-doing.

I lived in New York for a year but if I wrote a book set there it would probably be a less accurate portrayal of the city than Home Alone 2. Let alone setting it 150+ years ago. I lived in London for over a decade and it's not so much a city as a collection of villages mushed into each other that's like 30 miles across with no real sense of identity or culture for many reasons too long to go into here. Understanding even modern London is incredibly difficult even for people who live there. Historic London even less so. I'm looking forward to Pat's view of what London is/was like. Haven't had a good laugh in ages.

The "treat" working class food in Victorian London (especially East London where the "cockney" accent and stereotype arose and where Dickens set many of his novels) would be pie and mash with parsley sauce (known as "liquor" for some reason). Not fish and chips. Cod or Haddock would have to be imported from some way off because the Thames was polluted beyond sustaining life and smelled so bad that parliament had to be evacuated in 1858 in an event known as the "Great Stink". It only got a proper sewer system in the 1860s as a result. Chips would have been rare too, because cooking oil was too rare and expensive to deep-fry things as a rule whereas coal was cheap. Most fish that did arrive (by train) would therefore be poached, pickled or steamed, and potatoes would be roasted or boiled.

The only fish that did survive in the Thames were eels, which were usually preserved in gelatin to extend their shelf life, and "jellied eels" are still a stereotypical London food (though only hardcore cockney weirdos and tourists actually eat that shit, everyone eats kebabs, curry and fried chicken these days).

 

[Pat's Pointer Finger]

I hope all of that is made up so Patrick takes it and is made of a fool of. Otherwise you're giving him too much interesting material