Open Window Maniac
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Oct 15, 2021
That's what happens when you pop pills and neglect your children.
Inactive Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka - Deadbeat (emphasis on "Dead") founder of Something Awful, forced out of his own community, on his second divorce, stuck his dick in crazy, "Birth Giver"
- Thread starter Spunt
- Start date
- Joined
- Jan 25, 2018
There is no motivation at this point to seriously change the site. The site is largely dead in terms of outside value, its user base is made up of some of the biggest retards on the planet, and any change that is attempted will just lead to more complaints down the road.
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
I'm going with pomegranates. Just so he can have a callback to SA's first real "troll": Mark "Keep It Real" Pomerantz aka Poopy Marc
- Joined
- Jan 28, 2018
I heard if u say mangosteen into the mirror three times at midnight, lowtax' ghost appears behind u
does anyone else enjoy beating the dead horse that's lowtax as much as I do?
does anyone else enjoy beating the dead horse that's lowtax as much as I do?
- Joined
- Sep 26, 2019
Yes! Because he was the most arrogant asshole on the planet and would ban people on a lark, essentially robbing them, whilst living a life of opulence. Later on, he had a hysterical downfall complete with rapid aging, and a picture of him rubbing a woman's foot on his face. He ended up committing suicide at 45, not even outliving the politician/murderer he named himself after.
There wasn't a single shred of Lowtax's being that wasn't contemptable. He was an awful person all around, and the handful of scattered goons that paid respects and acted sad were people he knew at least 20 years ago, that he hadn't had the opportunity to screw over.
There are SO MANY different stories about horrible people pulling shit and just getting away with it, or winding up with completely unsatisfying punishments, only to go right back to doing what they do. KF has countless examples. But Lowtax? Lowtax is a perfect tale. He finally killed himself. He's gone for good. We finally got a satisfying tale of comeuppance for a genuinely horrible person. And that situation is so fucking rare that we're still relishing in it 7 months later. He was so maligned, his suicide brought people together across political and cultural bounds, at the most contentious time of our lives, to dance on his grave.
It's just too bad he didn't shoot himself on livestream. If I knew for sure he was gonna kill himself, I'd have fully expected a livestream.
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
Lowtax is one of the few suicides with a thread here who there's at least a tortured argument for blaming on the Farms. But nobody would, because the propaganda value would be zero.
People would say "the Farms killed Richard Kyanka, one of the visionaries of Web 1.0."
And anyone who even knew who Kyanka was would nod sagely and say "Good."
- Joined
- May 28, 2020
Don't count me out! I hope this thread stays open until November 11, 2022, when I'll figure out some way to pour out 40oz of mangosteen juice and commemorate Lowtax's useless existence. Couldn't have happened to a "better" guy.
There once was a man from Missouri
Whose forum got large in a hurry
So he beat up his wife
And fucked trannies in spite
Then melted his brains into purée.
There once was a man from Missouri
Whose spine was crumbled like a slurry
Popping Ambien and wine
"Online and Feeling Fine"
Then he blew off his face, wasn't sorry
There once was a man from Missouri
Who couldn't keep his DVs hush-hush,
Richart said that he'd lose
And Tax growled "FUCKING GOONS!"
Then blasted his skull into mush.
- Joined
- Jan 4, 2020
This thread makes me hopeful that after Chris's death there will be active forums about him. Six months since Novemeber.
- Joined
- Jan 16, 2017
This thread, unlike both Rich and SA, is not dead.
It is gay though, ngl.
It is gay though, ngl.
Aramis
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Apr 22, 2020
There'll be plenty of Chris threads after he dies. Threads about calls to the hospital, threads about calls to the coroner, threads about calls to the funeral home, threads about visiting his grave, threads about defacing his grave, threads about digging him up, threads about putting him back, threads about trying to find his new grave, threads about people getting arrested for digging him up, it'll be a very exciting time.
- Joined
- Jan 4, 2020
Excited for the "First Troll to Molest Chris's Dead Body" thread after one ween takes it too far and tries to heal him back to life.
- Joined
- May 28, 2020
And while we're on the subject of Lowtax parodies... this goes to the tune of Hotel California.
In the dim, dark beforetimes
Before Twitter and Twitch
Was an internet forum
Where they made you their bitch
10 bucks for an account
Unless it was a gift
And you'd just get banned anyway, what's the point
T'was a wonderful grift
Twenty years he did nothing
While making thousands apiece
2020 rolled over
And he disturbed the peace
When the goons found out about
His abuse and DVs
They jumped ship, left him behind
With his spine and broke knees
Lowtax, you're a druggie deadbeat addict
Your life was meaningless (Meaningless)
And you died penniless
If you told me back in '02 "Señor Lowtax"
Would die a broken mess
I would never guess
He went from writing at Doom sites,
To running SA for years
I think we all know what happened
He preyed on our worst fears
Then he hired a dumbass
Code monkey named Radium
Who broke the search even worse
I didn't know it could happen then
He sued Ashli in '20,
"Get my superlawyer here",
And lo and behold R. Scott Richart did appear
But on November 11th ('21)
Richart said he'd lose instead
And he had nothing left to do
But purée his own head
Lowtax, you're a goddamn Ambien junkie,
Popping all those pills (popping all those pills)
Catching all those skills (catching all those skills)
Twenty years of running the SA forums,
Yet you need Wordpress
Your skills ain't the best
His brains painted the ceiling
His corpse got packed in ice
His life ended, a footnote
Of the early 'Net times
Then his wages were garnished
Ashes put in an urn
His mom died a few months later
I guess she felt the burn
"Catch you all on the flip side"
Were his last words, indeed
For the once mighty Lowtax
Was an emblem of greed
Because when it was serious
When his lies were revealed
He could never face the music
He would never be healed
Before Twitter and Twitch
Was an internet forum
Where they made you their bitch
10 bucks for an account
Unless it was a gift
And you'd just get banned anyway, what's the point
T'was a wonderful grift
Twenty years he did nothing
While making thousands apiece
2020 rolled over
And he disturbed the peace
When the goons found out about
His abuse and DVs
They jumped ship, left him behind
With his spine and broke knees
Lowtax, you're a druggie deadbeat addict
Your life was meaningless (Meaningless)
And you died penniless
If you told me back in '02 "Señor Lowtax"
Would die a broken mess
I would never guess
He went from writing at Doom sites,
To running SA for years
I think we all know what happened
He preyed on our worst fears
Then he hired a dumbass
Code monkey named Radium
Who broke the search even worse
I didn't know it could happen then
He sued Ashli in '20,
"Get my superlawyer here",
And lo and behold R. Scott Richart did appear
But on November 11th ('21)
Richart said he'd lose instead
And he had nothing left to do
But purée his own head
Lowtax, you're a goddamn Ambien junkie,
Popping all those pills (popping all those pills)
Catching all those skills (catching all those skills)
Twenty years of running the SA forums,
Yet you need Wordpress
Your skills ain't the best
His brains painted the ceiling
His corpse got packed in ice
His life ended, a footnote
Of the early 'Net times
Then his wages were garnished
Ashes put in an urn
His mom died a few months later
I guess she felt the burn
"Catch you all on the flip side"
Were his last words, indeed
For the once mighty Lowtax
Was an emblem of greed
Because when it was serious
When his lies were revealed
He could never face the music
He would never be healed
Last edited:
- Joined
- May 28, 2020
Watching all 6 1/2 hours of his last stream. Remember when he was so drunk he said "smooth as a bovine" and nearly puked, again? Ah, good times.
Also found a new contender for the Photoshopped photos of his gun. I'd do it myself but I suck at Photoshop.
That's some bright light. And what was the song he played at the very beginning of the stream, anyway?
Also found a new contender for the Photoshopped photos of his gun. I'd do it myself but I suck at Photoshop.
That's some bright light. And what was the song he played at the very beginning of the stream, anyway?
- Joined
- Dec 10, 2014
Do you have a dump of the full stream? It got pulled from his YouTube channel because he watched a movie
Open Window Maniac
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Oct 15, 2021
It's not gay if the posts don't touch.
Robust User
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Apr 19, 2022
I've got a dump on a glass coffee table.
- Joined
- Sep 20, 2018
Say what you will about Rich, the man had good taste in boomer fuel. Rockstar lemonade is pretty good.
- Joined
- May 28, 2020
- Joined
- Apr 22, 2015
A couple years ago Lowtax tried to stream with Lauren. At one point he leaves to get something and Lauren has to entertain the viewers. When he come back he starts to have an emotional breakdown about a co-worker who was an addict that died. Here's a post with a breakdown and timestamps.
Gaming Garbage Live FUNdraiser: 03/24/19!
Hello, now with Lauren!https://www.patreon.com/GamingGarbagewww.youtube.com
Was this the final stream with Lauren?
- Joined
- Feb 21, 2020
Still dead and gay?