Trashfire 5/23/2022 Gunt Goes to Portugal 2 - The Double Pounder

[Polyboros2]

Will do absolutely anything to not be near his newborn.

I think a thread counting the days Ralph had spent with his daughter versus out of town would be amusing, but I'm not autistic enough for it

 

[Lance Private Drop Off]

I bet either medical or legal unfinished business, I can't see any other reasons for him to go back.

 

[Idiot Asshole]

I want to say that he's running away from a) the fight with Warski and b) having to take care of Meigh and the baby, but that would imply he's physically capable of running.
In all seriousness is he doing this for any good reason? Or is he just trying to "prove" that he can actually wander around Portugal for 24 hours and not get the shit beaten out of him as though it's some kind of accomplishment?

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

Ralph rather take his chances and get his ass kick again then spend other minute with Meigh and Rozy.

I mean Ralph has had to passively sit upstairs and listen to May care for a newborn 24/7 for the past sixty days. The man needed a vacation.

Is May going to be there when he gets back? He obviously left to escape his crying baby mama and daughter so maybe she will finally take the hint and gtfo. Honestly if May started packing her bags a year ago Ralph might have suicide baited, but now I figure he’d book a vacation just to rub it in and ensure she’d actually leave.

He’s been doing his utmost to get rid of her but I think it reached the boiling point this week. Between his recent behavior in DC where he was trying to hit up strip clubs with Sisco, May sabotaging said trip by removing his weed card, his ape like “dirty whore bitch” misogyny ranting and now taking a sudden vacay? I think things have gotten really ugly at home with Neigh.

May hasn’t had more than three hours sleep at a time in two months so I doubt she’s been sympathetic to the struggles of poor Ralphamale. Dirty whore is making him hold his own solo pity parties.

Maybe Harry or May’s mom are on their way to Richmond to get May and Rozie? I could see Gunt crossing the ocean to avoid Harry.

 

[NoonmanR]

Someone didn't learn themselves a lesson i see. Ethan Ralph must lie awake at night going AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH WHERE'S MY PURSEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

 

[Wine em Dine em 69 em]

The only way this would reflect positively on him is if he somehow finds the people who checked his ass and beats them to reclaim his beloved purse.

 

[draggs]

Someone didn't learn themselves a lesson i see. Ethan Ralph must lie awake at night going AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH WHERE'S MY PURSEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

The Ralphamale is a 'man' with a very certain set of 'skills.' These skills - guzzling booze, gulping down and snorting pills and blow, and bong rips - won't help him get his murse back, but they will help him lose another one

 

[CringeMomma]

No worries, Ralph, she doesn't know you- she isn't missing you. Get wrecked you massive sack of shit

 

[Andre Richardson]

I guess Ralph wants a second helping of “generosity” from the good Portuguese citizens.

But seriously, all of this trouble again for a fucking purse? He’s gonna be really disappointed by the end of this.

 

[Near]

This doesn't make you look like you're not scared of getting punched, Ralph. This looks like you're looking for your stolen purse. Little bitch lol

 

[Hüftpriester]

Nothing says "I'm having a great time in Lisbon" like sitting at a café by yourself and seething on twitter about how the aylwags have spent more on Xander than you have. Ralphamale wins again!

 

[TitchBitties]

ONLY 5-STAR DAYS LET'S GO PURSE QUEST

 

[Buck Breaker of BUcha]

WHY?!?

He obviously couldn't resist the cheap and consequence free drugs and those underaged prostitutes. This is going to be good.

 

[Kup]

Hope the locals roll out the welcome wagon for this honoured guest, he’s a journalist, bowling pro, father, IBS god, “entertainer” and child prostitute-enthusiast. Better show some respect Portugal.

Here’s a reference sheet for any pimps, gotta even those eyes out.

 

[Lone MacReady]

Hope the locals roll out the welcome wagon for this honoured guest.
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Here’s a reference sheet for any pimps, gotta even those eyes out.

I get the feeling the locals hate the gunt in the same way I hate imported foreigners walking around my hometown.

 

[Trench]

Nothing says "I'm having a great time in Lisbon" like sitting at a café by yourself and seething on twitter about how the aylwags have spent more on Xander than you have. Ralphamale wins again!
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He wanted to send a 1 year old a framed picture of his mother?
Yeah, Ethan, your mother would be thrown away for a second third fourth time in her life.

 

[Zab McMann]

So the prevailing narratives so far are

A) Running from Warski
B) Partaking in underage shenanigans
C) Trouble at the household due to newborn
D) Medical problems from round 1
E) All the above

You'd think he'd fix problems at home, but then again he wouldn't be doing half the shit he's been doing if he actually cared for anything other than the bottom of the bottle.

 

[Magic Sun Daddy]

Nothing says "I'm having a great time in Lisbon" like sitting at a café by yourself and seething on twitter about how the aylwags have spent more on Xander than you have. Ralphamale wins again!
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Ralph's Haters: Several hundred dollars worth of toys and books.

Ralph, the Biological Father: A photo of his mom, housed in the most expensive frame he could find at Dollar General.

 

[CRINGETOP1A]

Ralph just can't help himself, he is addicted to underage sex trafficking victims and there's a fresh batch of Ukrainians he has to try. hopefully INTERPOL is notified.

 

[Null]

OFF TO A LAND FAR, FAR AWAY FROM MY NEWBORN DAUGHTER