Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

[Mr Moonface]

Every now and then I have to purposely induce the douche chills on myself, just to feel something.

If you want to really feel it, here is the computer that he writes on while sitting at the bar.

Spoiler: WARNING - EXTREME DOUCHE CHILLS AHEAD

 

[Meriasek]

If you want to really feel it, here is the computer that he writes on while sitting at the bar.

Spoiler: WARNING - EXTREME DOUCHE CHILLS AHEAD

View attachment 3310514View attachment 3310515

Yeah, it's just... Everything. A shitty computer with garbage keyboard for professional writing. Actually writing "This machine kills fascists" on it. Putting "I voted" stickers on it, and calling them "kill marks". And calling the whole thing a "deck".
He's seriously the (incredibly fat) embodiment of a consoomer turned author.

/edit:
Oh, I guess he uses the Surface and its crappy little kiddykeyboard because Virgin Fatrick is scared of annoying the other barflys. A proper Chad author would bring the Surface, but use a 122 key terminal keyboard with the loudest buckling springs you could find to type on. Have the modern comfort of electronic writing paired with the retro chic and coolness of a loud fucking typewriter.
Not to mention that a 122 key battleship keyboard can work as a great weapon in a barfight. Not that Fatnig would know anything about that.

 

[Windows 10 Upgrade]

Yeah, it's just... Everything. A shitty computer with garbage keyboard for professional writing. Actually writing "This machine kills fascists" on it. Putting "I voted" stickers on it, and calling them "kill marks". And calling the whole thing a "deck".
He's seriously the (incredibly fat) embodiment of a consoomer turned author.

/edit:
Oh, I guess he uses the Surface and its crappy little kiddykeyboard because Virgin Fatrick is scared of annoying the other barflys. A proper Chad author would bring the Surface, but use a 122 key terminal keyboard with the loudest buckling springs you could find to type on. Have the modern comfort of electronic writing paired with the retro chic and coolness of a loud fucking typewriter.
Not to mention that a 122 key battleship keyboard can work as a great weapon in a barfight. Not that Fatnig would know anything about that.

Should have bought one of these Model F Reproductions, and you can even get a solenoid to strike the metal case every time you hit a key

 

[Stafford Beer Bong]

I think it's most evident in his cargo cult attempt at being a 'tough guy'. Pat doesn't understand what masculinity is, what it means to be manly, so he just imitates, or lies, about the things he's been told are manly. A motorcycle, a Mustang, guns, a local bar where they know your name - all more 'man points'.

Here’s a ‘man point’ Fatrick hasn’t considered… Raise your fucking kid.

And do it responsibly and without looking for a reward.

 

[Meriasek]

Should have bought one of these Model F Reproductions, and you can even get a solenoid to strike the metal case every time you hit a key

Good stuff. Alternatively, a Unicomp keyboard.

https://www.pckeyboard.com/mm5/merchant.mvc?Screen=CTGY&Category_Code=PC122

More keys, more pussy.

 

[Battlecruiser3000ad]

 

[RazorBackBacon]

If you want to really feel it, here is the computer that he writes on while sitting at the bar.

Spoiler: WARNING - EXTREME DOUCHE CHILLS AHEAD

View attachment 3310514View attachment 3310515

Fucking hell. If you see something like this at your favorite watering hole, you are legally required to start a fight with the laptop's owner. Sorry, I don't make the rules.

 

[Starscreams Cape]

He wants to have the air of the troubled alcoholic genius author who writes in a seedy bar because it's his muse due to his dark past, brooding at the bar where the other patrons leave him in peace as they know he's not to be disturbed when writing his next masterpiece. He clearly wants the attention and the dark reputation, so he writes at the bar instead of in a booth where he would have his peace and quiet. He just doesn't realize he's a nobody without any reputation, and that writing at the fucking bar is gonna invite people to bother you.
In reality he's just a hipster writing a "screenplay" at Starbucks, except with liver damage and obesity instead of veganism and ironic mustaches.
He's a cargo cultist of writing and intellectual endeavours. He sees famous authors writing in weird places, so he does that, without really understanding why. He sees authors writing ironic sequels of beloved classics, so he does that without really understanding why (and that the fad is over). He sees authors being drunk and moody, and he doesn't even need that as a motivation because he's a weak-willed fat idiot and would have been a shitty drunk either way.
The embodiment of Dunning-Kruger midwitism. And also the embodiment of lard.

Exactly.

He thinks he's part of the "counter-culture", but is so fat and stupid that he thinks that term still means the same thing it did back in the late 50's and 60's. He doesn't even realize that he's the kind of intractable lemming that the hepcat authors he's trying to emulate would have dismissed with derision.

 

[ZipDisk]

Also stole his wife's voting sticker.
I know it's old, but that woman at the bar was not interacting with him at all. He invented the "should I kill this annoying bitch" scenario in his head.
And it's still better than fucking Tiny Tim fanfic, which he's going to try and sell.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

This is one of those "the last photo taken of Jane doe when Patrick (right) murder and had sex with her dead body" pictures on Wikipedia

Agreed. I also don’t believe for a second that this woman was bothering him as he claims. Her body is completely turned away from him. I wish she’d caught him taking her picture and introduced his forehead to the bar.

 

[Wasted Potential]

At most this poor woman was probably being polite and asked if anyone was already sitting there. Pat, who lacks any sort of social graces took it as a personal affront. No one wants to talk to you, don't flatter yourself.

 

[CatboyCumDump]

https://new.onaforums.net/threads/patrick-claims-that-nambla-is-conspiring-to-attack-the-sfwa-seriously.15476/

This one is a great read, teaser:

 

[SixPennyWalnut]

The rascals are consistently brilliant, this little exchange in particular keeps making me laugh.

 

[Ophelia]

Also stole his wife's voting sticker.

I think they’re from the two times he voted against Trump.

I know it's old, but that woman at the bar was not interacting with him at all. He invented the "should I kill this annoying bitch" scenario in his head.

If he was smart, he would try making a $0.99 kindle book about all his bar fantasies. Just a bunch of short outlandish fictions. I’m not saying it would sell well, but people do randomly buy those cheap shorts. It would sell better than his other junk.

 

[Starscreams Cape]

Agreed. I also don’t believe for a second that this woman was bothering him as he claims. Her body is completely turned away from him. I wish she’d caught him taking her picture and introduced his forehead to the bar.

View attachment 3311067

Guys like Bukowski would have taken her home, fucked her for two days, found out she was crazy and then written an entertaining yarn about it all.

This lardass needs to surreptitiously take her picture and make an insecure quip for the approval of the 9 people that will see it.

What a badass trailblazer.

 

[AnOminous]

Reminder that he posted this the night of Annabelle's 4th birthday, perhaps the most repulsive of his 165k tweets, gloating about ditching his daughter on her fucking birthday.

Why the fuck does this fat evil bastard think of all the people in the world, his own despicable actions should be the ones beyond scrutiny? This piece of shit will rot in Hell.

Agreed. I also don’t believe for a second that this woman was bothering him as he claims.

The thought of heterosexual intercourse absolutely repulses him. He could have spent that time eating a cheeseburger.

Just a bunch of short outlandish fictions.

Short stories are actually difficult to write. It's beyond Fatty's ability. He is unable not to bloviate at endless length about things he knows absolutely nothing about.

 

[TollBoothWilly]

If you want to really feel it, here is the computer that he writes on while sitting at the bar.

Spoiler: WARNING - EXTREME DOUCHE CHILLS AHEAD

View attachment 3310514View attachment 3310515

"This machine kills fascists" Jesus Christ. Woody Guthrie wrote that on his guitar back in the 40s or something. Every douchebag thing fatso does is stolen from someone else.

 

[AnOminous]

"This machine kills fascists" Jesus Christ. Woody Guthrie wrote that on his guitar back in the 40s or something. Every douchebag thing fatso does is stolen from someone else. View attachment 3311249

Woody was also talking about actual Fascists, and while they included the domestic, they were mostly foreign in 1943 or so when he was specifically talking about Hitler's Nazis and Mussolini's Fascists and supporting the war effort against them, like all good Commies did back in the day.

 

[breadandcircuses]

If you want to really feel it, here is the computer that he writes on while sitting at the bar.

Spoiler: WARNING - EXTREME DOUCHE CHILLS AHEAD

View attachment 3310514View attachment 3310515

The only time This Machine wasn't completely cringe was when Woody Guthrie did it.

 

[AnOminous]

The only time This Machine wasn't completely cringe was when Woody Guthrie did it.

This Machine Grinds Negro Children Into Pepperoni.