Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

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ManiacalChrisBenoit said:
Gothie would have brought better content out of Cobes.
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She was dumb drama within the first 24hrs, Josh was interested but Gothie's bipolar disorder ment she had a hair trigger. Which Josh was smart enough to pick up on this and made a good effort to not talk about her. Obviously he wasn't 100% on his commitment to stop talking about her but he certain knew she was pointless.
 
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Potion_Time said:
I vehemently disagree.
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Hate this whore with a burning passion. any cunt that tries to get internet fame/money from a lolcow is even lower than a lolcow.
Arealsomalipirate said:
Clints

That nigger is an animal abuser . 0 sympathy for his troglodyte ass. This is not MATI, I just have never found anything about him and cobies interactions enjoyable. The gothie saga on the other hand, was gone to soon.
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Tbh hate cool taste too. He’s as sensitive as cobra and abuse animals (just like cobra). I swear Casper needs to be nuked or something. Jeffery Star, Dick Chaney: Nothing good comes from casper.
 
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ManiacalChrisBenoit said:
He just went for a dream Cobes vacation then went home. Any sane person could probably only take one or two Cobra encounters before going mad.
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Ah! I was under the impression Homeboy Matt either lived close by or was another semi-permanent character entering the Cobraverse.

What we need, is like a lolcow bootcamp of some kind. Something akin to the weight loss camp/regime that FPSRussia set up for Wings (the one he chickened out of) where these lolcows are sent to be reconditioned.

Activities include but are not limited to:

  1. The Trial of the Physical - Having to complete a full course of learning how to be self sufficient. Starting with intro to preventing salmonella and how to make your future partner a meal without killing them, right through to relearning to socialise in a non creepy and in an obviously town-guard fury inducing cringe way.
  2. The Trial of Pain Enduring constant physical assault courses - the stuff of nightmare fuel. The lolcows are pitted against commando-crawl courses, laden with guts and spewing gunfire. There's no tire too big to flip over, no climbing frame too high; these guys need to be broken down and rebuilt again.
  3. The Trial of the Flesh - At this point, the lolcow in question's progress should be rigorously vetted. Inanimate objects like a sonic action figure, a wand, things of a weirdly childish nature are put infront of them. Should the lolcow pick up these objects and start lecturing the assessor without prompt, then the lolcow is kicked out with a signed letter confirming their damnation and consignment to oblivion. Should a lolcow however remain defiant and disciplined, they will go on to be given a test where a date is set up with a member of their dating preference. This is risky folks, there is a lot riding on this, but should the lolcow somehow, in our wildest dreams, manage to pass this trial by holding a conversation that doesn't spill into incoherent rambling; then we will have achieved success.
  4. The Trial of the Spirit - The final test. Here the lolcow must confront an actual effigy of themselves, surrounded by objects that the lolcow held in high regard prior to their arrival. Faced with such enormous triggers and lolcow energy, together with an observer cosplaying the lolcow in question, the spirit will be shocked and forced to face itself. This is a life or death situation - the lolcow can emerge either unscathed and a rehabilitated member of society, or a drooling mess, whose begging for more handouts can only be outmatched by the meteoric reeeeee that now undercoats their voice.
We could have like a sobriety coin or something....
 
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ManiacalChrisBenoit said:
Gothie would have brought better content out of Cobes. He'd actually have something to talk about like he did back when he was dating Steph, or working at Wendys.
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Nah, she's from the Cyraxx "community", and if you ever watch those streams, you know the only interesting thing about that is that Cyraxx screams about everything, all the time, with the smallest amount of effort. She wouldn't have known how to draw any reaction out of a sexy goth stud like Cobes.
 
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Grift Garrison said:
I'm surprised Gothie can shit that much with all the meth smoking. As a lifetime fat fuck, I've only had a few shits in my life that were in the same realm as the Gothie video and she's talking like its business as usual.
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I would be having a heart to heart with Jesus if I was shitting like that and for her this is just another tuesday.
 
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ManiacalChrisBenoit said:
Gothie would have brought better content out of Cobes. He'd actually have something to talk about like he did back when he was dating Steph, or working at Wendys.
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No, Adrienne wouldn't have. It would have been a clash of two regards who can't function unless they get all the attention, and Cobes wins that battle because he has the subs and the potential money, along with Adrienne being such an utterly detestable person.
 
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BPD Gunt Rider said:
No, Adrienne wouldn't have. It would have been a clash of two regards who can't function unless they get all the attention, and Cobes wins that battle because he has the subs and the potential money, along with Adrienne being such an utterly detestable person.
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It ain't fair. Gothie was an incredible addition; a buttfuckingly insane, DUMB, deluded mutant... except she couldn't stop deleting her already unwatchable 18-24 hour streams. I completely agree that she is a scummy human, especially knowing that she was disingenuously floating around between Cyraxx, Cobra, and Ritchie for views. I'm still sour over it.
EDIT: Few times have I laughed as hard when seeing her casually blow her asshole out on stream.
 
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StoicMoose said:
Jorq kicking himself that he didn't realize Gothie would have been his fart fetish queen
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Two peas in a pod I suppose, Josh used to point his camera at the bathroom whenever he went and sometimes you'd hear him rip straight ass and complain about how bad it hurts. There's a video of him doing that, yelling "Welp, time to drop the Cosby kids off at the pool" followed by some comedically loud assrippings.

Seizure knows the one, wish I remembered which one it was.
 
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