Trashfire 5/23/2022 Gunt Goes to Portugal 2 - The Double Pounder

[ANiggaNamedElmo]

You're right and he already did that last night. My theory hinges on Stu egging him on. If he's on his own he won't do shit.

I anticipate, no, await the moment we get that. A Stew Peters and Gunt stream would be glorious.

 

[Weeb Slinger]

The virgin (literally I would imagine) Jonathan Yaniv gets bottom surgery then immediately mislays his clitoris. Meanwhile, the enterprising chad transsexual, Ethan Ralph, is so steeped in oestrogen that he grows a distended vagina on his belly, along with the beginnings of an auxiliary arsehole on his back. If you asked scientists to speculate on the body type of a human being who had evolved to be the perpetual bottom in a bathhouse gangbang, I don't think Ralph would be that far off the mark.

 

[SaidNoOneEver]

He's already posted pictures of being on the plane, so Ralphs seething about pressing charges was all fake and gay

Nah, he'll say they ran away. Fled like bitches. He's still there. Unafraid. Winning. Five star days!

 

[smellybutthole]

He's already posted pictures of being on the plane, so Ralphs seething about pressing charges was all fake and gay

Can you even press charges anywhere in Europe? Ralph seems to think this is all a felony in both Portogo and the UK. I don't think the UK even has something called a felony in a legal sense.

 

[Big Brown Schlub]

From what I've heard from people on /int/, despite the perception of being "Ugly Americans" abroad, American tourist are usually polite and have this peculiar ritual of "tipping" which involves leaving free money around. We're no worse than the stereotype of Japanese tourist who visit America and constantly take pictures.

The Brits on the other hand are known for getting piss drunk and cause all sorts of problems. The Portuguese officials were probably more surprised that the disgusting fat and pale man was American, instead of the usual chav from Birmingham.

Pretty much, though American tourists are either fat obnoxious hollering retards like Ralph or mild-mannered and polite, there is no middle ground. The former type of American tourist is a minority thankfully.

 

[Armadillo]

I'm now fully convinced that if Ralph goes through with his threat of going to Jim's house he will end up beat up again. But it won't be Jim doing the ass wooping, it'll be Jade and she will fucking wreck him. She will give Jim the laugh of his life when he sees this live on his front door.

It's gonna be this but with an angry Asian woman and a cast-iron wok.

 

[FuckedOffToff]

This is what you get
This is what you get
This is what you get, for messing with us...

You do it to yourself, you do, and that's why it really hurts,
You do it to yourself...

 

[timewave0]

I'm now fully convinced that if Ralph goes through with his threat of going to Jim's house he will end up beat up again. But it won't be Jim doing the ass wooping, it'll be Jade and she will fucking wreck him. She will give Jim the laugh of his life when he sees this live on his front door.

There’s a decent chance he could get taken down by a woman, no doubt. All you have to do is give him a little shove and humpty gunty is sure to fall down. Will all the king’s men be able to put him back together again?

 

[Fastest Hand In The East]

Lemme guntguard for a moment.
If I understand correctly two knuckleheads Cog and Dan learned that Ralph goes to Portugal, after that they immedietly went after him, spending no expanses.
In Portugal they stalked him for some time, then they alledge that he confronted them, barraged them with insults and attacked them. Which they took as a perfect opportunity to make a scene and keep rousing him instead of trying to de-escalate with dignity (key words are "trying" and "with dignity" since every attempt at peace may be seen as weakness by Ralph).
I know that Mr. Gunt is a very naughty man. But if I understood the story correctly these Cog and Dan are insane stalkers in their own right.
The only somewhat acceptable reason might have been that they were 101% sure that Mr. Gunt is after underage gipsy prostitutes and they wanted to film him in the act. But even then its going to insane lenghs.

 

[Style]

And the Darwin award of 2022 goes to... ETHAN RALPH!

 

[FuckedOffToff]

Apparently cog is leaving Portogo today. Looks like it's past noon already there so maybe he's already back in the UK

I'd literally pay money for a pay per view of Gunt following cog back to UK and getting his skull caved in by a bunch of beer gunted mancs.

Beating up the Gunt : Portugal's new growth industry?

 

[FamicomGorby]

Gunt is a ex-con, he is unable to own firearms unless he gets them illegally from a hood nigger, which is not unlikely considering the area he lives in is a shithole full of crime, but this could get him in trouble before he even reaches Gym's house.

He could just get horse wife to straw purchase one for him. She's dumb enough to do it.

 

[Quiritium]

There’s a decent chance he could get taken down by a woman, no doubt. All you have to do is give him a little shove and humpty gunty is sure to fall down. Will all the king’s men be able to put him back together again?

Jade didn't look like a frail girl in photos from the GG days, and she probably got tougher from caring and bathing the sick boomer. Compared to Ralph she must be an unstoppable force, and he's no immovable object.

 

[Terra Pax]

When a person who is low IQ, low impulse control like Ralph has been utterly humiliated in the public space has become a cornered rat. I don't think he enjoys his life at all anymore and has realized that from now on everywhere he goes there's the potential of someone coming up to him and beating the living shit out of him for the entertainment of tens of thousands of people.

I think his white nigger predisposition puts him at 5/10 from the word go. If he had a weapon during that altercation yesterday he would 100% pull it out. Now that he's been dragged bloody through the streets of Lisbon I'd put him at at 7/10. If he joins forces with that lunatic Stu and they go out to look for Cog and Dan, I reckon that there's a 30% chance someone ends up in a pack.

I'm inclined to agree. If you said on here years ago that Chris Chan would end with him raping his mom you'd have been called a histrionic alog too.

Ralph's brain is fucked. He's almost profoundly impulsive - why is he even in Portugal in the first place? It was him who instigated the physical part of the confrontation last night.
He's burning through what-ever money he has left. It all really can't go on forever and it keeps escalating. He's already been to prison for trying to fight a policewoman and that was years ago.

And your point here was very good I think. If Ethan did have any kind of weapon at this point, would he have brought it out and tried to use it? Almost certainly. He seems almost unphased by these constant physical brawls he's in because he's living in a delusional fantasy world. Unlike Feuntes or other LARPers I believe Ralph is being 100 % sincere when he says things about how he actual won, and how he's a king, etc.

If any of these losers have a capacity to snap bad then Ethan would be my bet.

 

[XxTardWranglerxX]

The only person who's going to get in trouble is the one who hit the woman, and it looked like it was Dan. Anything else is cope.

 

[Expendable Zaku]

Beating up the Gunt : Portugal's new growth industry?

Creating a market for beating up fat, alcoholic retards is certainly an interesting, if speculative, venture.

Then again… this has happened twice to one individual in less than six months time. Could this be expanded upon?

 

[smellybutthole]

The Brits on the other hand are known for getting piss drunk and cause all sorts of problems. The Portuguese officials were probably more surprised that the disgusting fat and pale man was American, instead of the usual chav from Birmingham.

I think you're leaving out some finer detail:
Lots of burgerland tourists have very little social intelligence. i.e. reading social cues about whether the place you are in is suitable for loudly talking about the 5 dudes you banged off tinder. They have no idea that they are being obnoxious.

On the other hand tourist traps like Portogo aren't advertised as cultured getaways for those used to the finer things in life.
They explicitly advertise to the lower rungs of society with cheap flights and cheap booze.

 

[byuu]

Cog needs to be charged with releasing revenge porn.
This is some hardcore ABDL masochist fetish shit where the big bratty baby gets punished.

 

[Spez]

 

[fuck whales]

Can you even press charges anywhere in Europe? Ralph seems to think this is all a felony in both Portogo and the UK. I don't think the UK even has something called a felony in a legal sense.

No we don't, neither does Portugal.

And no, were not States, if you rang the UK police and said "I'm a fat faggot who started a fight but someone else finished it" they'd just go "what's that got to do with us, it was in Portugal"