🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

How long will this relationship last?

  • About a month.

    Votes: 45 44.1%

  • Half a year.

    Votes: 11 10.8%

  • A year or more.

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • He will marry her and impregnate her, hater! This is Eternal love.

    Votes: 46 45.1%
  • Total voters
    102
Daddy Gym has given Cog the signal boost, I expect an Internet tough guy meltdown from Ralph within the hour.
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He's having a fucking meltdown on twitter. It's incredible.
Hey Ralph I believe your friends with baked Alaska who maces innocent people. You aren't innocent and you got rekt by a nobody britbong so stop the moralfagging
 
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NicoFountaine said:
Oh boy how right were you.

Ralph, the problem is it doesn't really take much to stop you.
Click to expand...
>Be Gunt
>Drive your fat gunted ass to Minnesota
>Drive to Metocare's neighborhood
>Start streaming
>See a sign on a light post
>"Warning: Sex offending pig may be loose in the area"
>Comments in stream are roasting your ass
>Find Jim's front door
>Waddle your fat ass up to it
>Knock
>"Get you and your greasy Korean whore out here right now!"
>Hear no response
>Knock some more
>Finally hear an all too familiar voice on the other side
>"Suuuuueeey!"
>Furiously pound the door
>"Get your ass out here right now!"
>"Nope, not interested."
>Look into your camera
>"Well I guess James Augustin really is a coward who won't meet me face to face. Maybe if I get his Korean whore leaving the house I can..."
>See a message in the chat
>"He's behind you"
>Turn around
>See some sperg wearing a red shirt, a black hat, and a white ski mask
>Walk up on him
>Get gunt to gunt with him
>Tilt your head up so you can see him eye to eye
>"You think I'm scared of you bitch?"
>The sperg pushes you down
>Land on your fat ass
>Give him the finger while on your ass
>"You think I'm scared?! I don't scare!"
>The sperg points behind you
>Turn your cartoonishly large head
>Your pig slit eyes go wide
>There are twenty more Jim spergs behind you
>Hear spergs randomly holler
>"Suuuueeeeeeyyyy!"
>"Here hoggy hoggy!"
>They silently walk towards you
>Get scared
>They're standing between you and your truck
>Make a break for it
>They pull out socks filled with corn cobs
>They beat you as you run through them
>Trip and fall
>The Jim spergs continue hitting you with corn
>Get up and continue running
>Squeal as you jump into your front seat
>Start the ignition
>Peel out as you haul ass like you've never hauled ass before
>Think you're safe
>Check your rearview
>A Jim sperg is sitting in the back of your truck
>He's staring at you through your window
>Swerve like you just downed your third bottle of Maker's Mark
>The Jim sperg braces himself
>Run into a light pole
>Look around
>More Jim spergs appear
>Your vision goes hazy
>Black out
>Wake up in a hospital
>Doctor shows up
>He asks how you managed to shove twenty one corn cobs up your ass
>"It wasn't me, it was the ayylawgs!"
>Doctor doesn't believe you
>Local news station is covering your accident
>They say a drunk Virginia man crashed his truck into a light post and proceeded to sodomize himself repeatedly with corn cobs
>Police don't even charge you
>They pity you enough to give you a Greyhound bus ticket back to Virginia
>Check your Kiwi Farms thread
>Every page is plastered with shit covered corn cobs
>Go back home and proceed to holler
>Because hollerin, hollerin never changes
 
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