Trashfire 5/23/2022 Gunt Goes to Portugal 2 - The Double Pounder

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What will happen?

  • Nothing but 5-star days, a-logs BTFO stay mad.

    Votes: 272 24.9%
  • Beaten by another pimp of underage hookers. Purse and zirconia ring stolen.

    Votes: 251 23.0%
  • Monkeypox from gay pride parade.

    Votes: 143 13.1%
  • Arrested.

    Votes: 142 13.0%
  • Return to find out that his horse galloped away with ReRollRozy.

    Votes: 119 10.9%
  • 2-5.

    Votes: 164 15.0%

  • Total voters
    1,091
  • Poll closed .
My money is that one of his screaming fits will cause his heart to explode and he drops to the floor like a sack of potatoes.
Is Ralph heading for some Final Destination shit? He survived the car crash, Vegas heart attack, freezing to death on some back road, and both the Portugal beat downs.

This will probably end with Ralph impaled by his bowling trophy, unable to get help because May has muted the stream to feed the baby.
 
I voted for nothing happening because what were the odds of lightning striking twice, as it were?

Welp.

So basically this, but metaphorically.
View attachment 3325126
I think I believe in The Merge now.
There is only one merge Ralph is praying for right now....
ungunt.png
 
What about the bifurcated gunt? I think it may have even bifurcated again if you look at him wallowing around and flailing like a retard as he helplessly gets his punk ass kicked. That would be a full EIGHT BITCH TITS. Like rows of tits, like an actual pig would have.

I think that's somewhat interesting.
I hope the script writers for the new season see this, but what I really want is for a leaked tape of someone fucking the Gunt. Guntgina. Whatever you want to call it. I'm sure Fuentes would enjoy sticking his dainty girlcock in there.
Put that on pay-per-view.

Portugal.
I like the aesthetic that Portugal is giving as a backdrop to all of this. It's very Porco Rosso.
 
This thread has devolved into a shit feedback loop of retards that can't be assed to read shit so they repost things said 10 times, moral fagging, hot tips on what societies they've never encountered are like and speculative lawyering from absolute mongoloids who don't know shit about the law. Very disappointing.
And a lot of it from 2021 accounts with less than 10 posts, really activates the acorns.
 
This is Ralph we're talking about, he's probably in hiding until the police give him a head pat and tell him he's a good piggy.
I want the Police to send Ralph around to every precinct in Lisbon to file his report so that the rest of his trip is nothing but a merry go round of wasting hours in police station waiting rooms while cops giggle and point around the corner at the obese dumb wimpy American that is crying about a little street scuffle.
 
The real question is whether or not he's going back for a 3rd time.
Ralph wen to Lisbon in hopes of having things go better this time
spend good time in portugal and build good memories to erase the bad ones from the last trip
it's a usual coping mechanism for people with trauma to try to reproduce the same experiences
and see if hey can get a different outcome.
Sadly God hates him.

so you know Portugal 3 isn't out of the question
 
Why are people arguing who is in the right here?

Aren't we just supposed to laugh at the Gunt getting his ass kicked again?
This.

Who ever is taking this scuffle seriously needs to get their heads checked.

This is an activity as old as time. Two members of a tribe (the internet e drama tride) spar against each other to establish their place on the hierarchy and entertain the rest of the tribe. Cog moved up the totem pole gaining notoriety, and Ralph moved down because got caught in 4k being a bitch.
 
Two Lolcows got into a weird scrap, how is KF responsible? How is Jim Metokur responsible? Stop acting like everyone is a boogyman of sorts and blame Ralph for burning so many bridges that it is not safe for him to be in an announced public space unsupervised.
Cope, seethe, cog isn't a farms user he's an eceleb. You can't give Ralph "wins" or "losses" because he literally makes shit up, so just enjoy the fact that he's 2:2 on Lisbon beatdowns.

I genuinely can't even use this thread to find out if he's done anything else in Lisbon. Can we split this thread into something else for retarded "I am a random user and I think actually Ralph won here" replies?
To be fair, there were people in chat tracking Ralph and updating Cog on his location as it went down. Cog would have found him eventually even without that, but the farms did engage in some neghole pozloading.
 
He probably will own the haters. Also, he should defiantly stop wearing the man's purse because at this point it's just a giant beacon telling thieves to rob him.
*gameshow host voice*
Will 3rd time be the charm for Mr Ethan Ralph and he will finally be able to go to Portugal unmolested.
OR
Will the haters and a-logs win again and leave the gunt battered, bruised, and bifurcated again.
Find out next time on the Incredible Dumpster Fire Ethan Ralph Experience!
 
I'm five pages behind in this thread before posting, but I'll say this:

Americans are shocked by this because, in the US, if you hurt somebody (even just their feelings) you can be sued in court for unlimited amounts of money. This idea stops many adults from pummeling people they don't like in the steets. To us, the fact this even happened makes the story insane.

Next, the jurisdiction is completely up in the air. Sure, the USA has no law enforcement jurisdiction in Portugal. But, keep in mind, people have successfully sued people for human rights abuses in US courts that occured in third countries that have nothing to do with the US. Did you get beat up by a police officer in Saddam's Iraq in the year 2000? Well, you too can become a millionaire in US federal court. It's not out of bounds that Ralph could use the same tactics.

It's insane that a British person beat up an American person. Sure, a black guy from Britain could always beat up a black guy from the US, but seeing a white person beat up a white person is very jarring because it's unheard of for a British person to beat up an American. The US is now 2-1 against the UK after previously being undefeated.

When he was on the ground flipping double middle fingers, I had such a strong urge to kick him in the face and head until he couldn't gesture anymore. Human nature is very straightforward and it's no wonder he got beaten so bad the first time. One small man who has been through a lot could have brought Ralph to that level of beating.

Lastly, I do feel bad for him. You'd think these fights would be to the death, but his suffering continues on after the fights. He somehow thinks he won. I worry he'll never be humbled before God.
I’m not sure what America you guys live in but fights happen all the time with no legal intervention - criminal or civil. The one thing that does result in less fist fights here than in Europe is guns. You have to size up if the guy you are beefing with is going to freak out and pull out a gun because he feels threatened.

I’ve had to slow the flow on friends visiting here getting into heated exchanges by reminding them any any psycho in a bar or on the road might be packing, so take it back a few notches.

As for civil legal matters? The only way a fight gets taken to court is if one or both of the combatants have money/assets worth going after.

The reason Ralph is always so fast to start yelling about cops and lawyers is because he’s a fat white trash dirtbag who was raised around ppl who’s only chance at having more than a few hundred bucks to their name was via a shady lawsuit settlements. Car crash, slip and fall, fake animal part in your cheeseburger, etc…white trash think of lawsuits like lottery winnings. Ralph is always stewing that angle in his head, but he would have needed Pewdiepie to kick his ass, not Cog, for that grift to work.

As for snitching to the cops? The weakest white trash always try to get the police to solve their disputes and punish ppl for them.
 
Surpass Chris? Nah. He's definitely trying his hardest to be a close 2nd to Chris, though. That's no small feat.
Chris has decades on Ralph but Ralph is accelerating at a crazy pace. Giving enough time even Chris will be overtaken but it all depends on when Ralph will completely burn out. Like Icarus, Ralph flew too close to the star that is Chris's lolcowdom. It's only a matter of time until the wax melts and every day he get higher and closer to Chris, but that will only make his fall that much harder.
 
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