Personal Lolcows - Lolcows in your personal life.

[Welsh Catgirl Enjoyer]

Pissed off because I tried to help this person. So let's vent here.

I have a personal lolcow I've known for many years now. I tentatively consider them a mate though that is very strained considering how often I argue with them and they freak out at me. I know they got problems and so I try to be reasonable, but jesus christ, sometimes it's just not worth it.

• Excessive hypersexuality, literally, that is their personality. They will talk about sex, porn, hentai, any of that stuff daily without fail
• Obsessed over their OC who is apparently the most powerful person ever, "so mysterious" and "so cool". This OC also ties into the previous point as they make them equally hypersexual, and because they can take different forms, the latest fetish is projected onto them
• Opinions. My god they have some of the craziest really strong opinions, and often with really weird or no backing. For example, they're very homophobic but fundimentally the reason why is because they're obsessed with femboys and them fucking women.
• Narcissism. No joke, this person is absolutely fucking narcissistic. They genuinely believe they are the most intellegent and wise person, and that they see through some kind of mass retardedness that affects the rest of the population.

I don't fancy being too mean, so I will blur out names and shit like that. But here's some discord logs to show what we're dealing with here.

Spoiler: Hot Takes

Probably get cancelled for that one tbh, but it's weird because if you mention homosexuality in any context, this is the response

Also, here's one I found really fucking funny for some reason. Maybe the idea of a game about fucking sentient hamburgers and talking about which characters are porking eachother (pun entirely intended)

Spoiler: Superiority Complex/Narcissism

Some pseudo-philosophy for you

Here's a funny one. They have acted like they are a video game consultant many times, like they work with developers to improve the game. Yet this is the extent of their involvement. They argue with random strangers on Steam Forums and call them retarded

I wish I could give more on the OC side. Because it's fucking hilarious, but it takes time to find that shit again. But it ultimately comes down to "this is my OC they have space-bending reality-bending powers and are super horny and founded this league of awesome and strong people but they're so cool and mysterious and have a tragic story".

Literally, if this person ever went more public and had more eyes on them, I could easily see a full-fledged thread here.

 

[slightly smashed corolla]

Introducing...
royalofthebunch / royalofthebunchx / royalofthebunchxx / royalnesscrowned / Jasper
W.I.P. (mods feel free to move or delete this if this doesn't fit here)

Powerlevel

D.O.B November-December 2002
Location: North Carolina, U.S. Fairmont?
Education: Douglas Bird High School, Fayetteville, N.C.


This person's account has become a personal lolcow of mine these past few days. I've been debating whether or not to make a thread of them in PG but I still have some more content to archive.

In the meanwhile lo and behold their most popular video (now deleted)

In the meanwhile they're on TikTok and claim to not be black their social media posts tell a different story.

Spoiler: Accounts (As of 2022-05-24)

Main TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@royalofthebunch (archive)
First account: https://www.tiktok.com/@royalofthebunchx (BANNED)
Second Account: https://www.tiktok.com/@royalofthebunchxx (archive)
Third Account: https://www.tiktok.com/@royalme26 (archive)
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/royalofthebunch (archive)
Second Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/royalofthebunchx/ (archive)
Instagram Backup: https://www.instagram.com/royalnesscrowned (archive)

link (archive)
Here they are with an ex-boyfriend with a caption that kind of explains their approach to gender identities

link (archive)

I'll make sure I put more of their bizarreness on here as I archive their content, but simply put I think this person is worthy of lowcow because they are a self-hating black person using trans terms to make themselves sound special and rudely turning down the help of those trying to be kind to them.

They're porky thoughts about gender

It seems that asking them questions is tantamount to poking an angry bear which in response leads to some sperg outs.

Spoiler

In response to asking what her what she's "mixed" with

She claims to be immune to being called the gamerword

much more to be added soon, I just have to organize all my screenshots

But why their single still seems to be a mystery to them

They may be single currently but they decided to make another TikTok showing their entire dating history.

link (archive)

And as they state their page is not satire

link (archive)

Do you guys think this is thread worthy?

 

[Fungible penis]

Erika Meyer is my personal schizocow, and I have been mean to start a thread for a while, but this kind of took the wind out of my sails.

She's 100% serious.

 

[Edwardsullen]

Brandon Padgett aka metal doomer or doomerpolitics/doomermedia is a bisexual, lolbertarian, alt right YouTuber and pedo hunter with alot of skeletons in his closet.
His channels:

https://youtube.com/c/doomermedia

https://youtube.com/channel/UCr2yOGjDgMXkSCc4vhEZeFA

He got exposed for exchanging nudes with and dating a minor.





He Posted lolicon:

Spoiler: WTF

>When people started finding about his creepy behavior he deleted most of his videos on both of his channels.
>Got excommunicated from the pedo-hunting community but is still promoted by intactifags and the alt-right.

 

[Berwick]

Bell has started quoting herself for her motivational quotes now, as if her narcissism wasn't already obvious enough.
View attachment 3312239
Also normally when she starts tweeting about how much she doesn't care about what other people think about her and calling everyone else attention whores, it usually means another screeching chimpout is afoot. I look forward to it.
View attachment 3312250
Yeah she's not too happy no one is signing up for her zine due to her reputation as a deranged womanchild with a love of lolis.
Also a testimony from one of her ex friends who unprivated their account recently.
View attachment 3312263
View attachment 3312265 (archive)
Assuming none of this has been embellished at all then wow bell, that was kind of cunty of you.
Also her art has regressed. Badly.
View attachment 3312292
Y'know it's weird, on the rare occasions she puts effort into her art it's actually not half bad. But lately you've just had nothing but ugly garbage like this. This looks like a grimey old toy you would find in a desperate dumpster dive and immediately discard.

At this point, the main post of yours about this person (that I couldn't quote) is ripe enough for a thread. You could save everyone the trouble by starting a thread here. Please do, this bitch is fucking hilarious. I can't be bothered with rewriting your entire post.

 

[ekstatikk]

Hardly personal, not deserving of a thread, but still worthy of mention is /vp/'s "Library-Chan !Ry.6oDqO1Q"
Around the time Pokemon Sun and Moon popped up, so did this girl who immediately began to shit up threads while talking like this:

Spoiler

She's called Library-Chan because she often posted pictures of herself jackin' in a public library while making these posts. Any time a thread is made on /vp/ that has any relevance to some of the newer male characters, she causes the them to crash and burn in record time. Perhaps the worst was when a musical video was released from the main Pokemon channel concerning one of the newer Pokemon team villians, Guzma. A /vp/ thread fired up about people trying to figure out who the actor was because everyone was a thirsty fuck. When the male model was found, almost immediately he was bombarded by messages from Library-chan requesting private dances. There's also the time that she molested a male cosplayer, but I'd rather not dig for it.
For those curious what she looks like https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nzvl2JoMwKc

Is that confirmed Library-chan because that's odd. It's almost confirmed she's TamashiiHiroka/Tama Hero. And she's been plagueing vp for me too for years.

 

[thejackal]

"leader of CHOP" making a spectacle of herself on social media everyday now. This is a mother of a 4 year old out getting hammered every night and having "panic attacks" out and around town. Some people you really can't help but think are awful people that do a lot of harm in their community and deserve to be mocked and ridiculed . Jaiden Grayson is one of them. All she does is take, a social vampire. ebegging for fancy music equipment and wigs while she spends your white guilt money on booze and partying.

 

[Coochie Concoction]

At this point, the main post of yours about this person (that I couldn't quote) is ripe enough for a thread. You could save everyone the trouble by starting a thread here. Please do, this bitch is fucking hilarious. I can't be bothered with rewriting your entire post.

Alrighty, ask and you shall receive. I did my damnest to compress all my previous posts about this chick into one. Again, i'm not exactly confident in my OP writing skills but I sincerely hope this is sufficient enough for the farms because this chick is hilarious. I hope that you and many others enjoy.

 

[Fungible penis]

Erika being convinced her cat is being tortured by piezoelectric implants is kind of taking the fun out of laughing at her paranoid schizophrenia, ngl.

 

[Bubble Ba'ath]

They arent quite interesting enough yet to have their own thread...but my personal lolcows who I follow is the Heene Family of Fort Collins Colorado. If anyone remembers them, they were subject of a massive news freakout in 2009 when the then very little son was thought to be on a hot air balloon that floated away. He was known as the Balloon Boy. It became an even bigger news story when it turned out the whole thing was a hoax. You can find a post about the fame chasing family patriarch on this very site, albeit a brief one, here.

Now have a terrible music video from 2015:

But while the story was a flash in a pan, the strange antics didn't end there. Ever since then, the family has sought public attention by engaging in various attempts to become viral that produce bizarre and cringey results. The kids are now part of a band/;reality show on youtube that gets...not very high hits and produces very strange videos. My...."favorite" of which is this:

 

[Edwardsullen]

Fauxskin/Animutiddylover/Tyler Robert Austin


View attachment 3164252
Name: Tyler Robert Austin
Birthdate: 9/14/1990
Mother's name: Shari Jean Austin
Dox: 6641 Guinevere Dr, Columbus, 43229 Ohio

This man is a really unhinged intactiloon that I had come across online. He is a grown man that is so obsessed with circumcision that he will glorify terroristic acts and make violent threats just for the sake of Dunking on people that he doesn't agree with.

Here he is glorifying columbine and even encouraging other intactiloons to shoot people that circumcise their children:
View attachment 3160394
Here he is on Reddit saying he wants to buy a gun to shoot doctors and mohels that perform circumcisions:
View attachment 3164190
More threats towards others:
View attachment 3164192

View attachment 3164194
He made a creepy Rick and Morty comic about Morty trying to restore his foreskin

Spoiler: Disgusting

View attachment 3167251

Here are some more of his hilariously sad and cringe-y posts:
View attachment 3180303
View attachment 3180304
View attachment 3180305

Here's a cringe worthy video of him violating a chicken:
View attachment 3184536

The dick obsessed freak is back at it again and this time he's justifying what school shooters do because they were circumcised.

Also the lack of self awareness with this guy is crazy. Here he is calling people who support circumcision pedophiles when he literally made CP of an underage character and collects photos and videos of naked babies getting circumcised.

He also made a cryptic threat to a doctor that does circumcisions:

Archive Original tweet
Full image of the message he posted for more context:

 

[LetterlandMafia]

One person I'm watching closely is Merlin Missingham aka DHSComix who, since 2004, has pumped out comics like a machine. She currently has 14 comics on the go and 6 complete ones. Updates are daily. On the one hand I have to give her credit when so many webcomic artists drag their feet for ages and whine when they get asked to work, on the other the quality is...pretty meh:

Here's a page from 2010 (one of the earliest I can find on the site):

And here's a page from June 2022:

So despite drawing daily for 12 years the quality has not changed one jot. Clearly the speed at which these comics come out and the unchanging quality on show suggests to me these are one-and-done jobs, drawn to a first draft then published immediately. It's not CWC quality at least, yet clearly there's room for improvement that despite a decade of constant drawing has not been achieved.

According to this site her website got 14k views in April 2022, though given the average visit time is apparently three seconds I assume most of those are web crawlers.

Her comics have a forum, which is completely dead.

As for Merlin herself, not much is known about her. She has a twitter account but doesn't divulge too much personal info, other than that she's a troon (I believe her handle used to be MissyMerlin but times change) and a furry.

The only picture I could find of her is this one, posted by her mother Roxanne.

Spoiler: Warning: Malnutrition

Roxanne is listed as a librarian at the Australian National University in Canberra, and Merlin has mentioned Canberra a few times in her twitter posts; additionally 'Ngunnawal Land' is southern NSW and ACT so it's fair to say that's the area she lives in. I have an inkling on what her dox might be, but I don't know for certain so I'm not going to include it.

So yeah, a troon furry who for almost two decades has pumped out shitty comics that nobody reads on a daily basis all the while cultivating zero audience whatsoever.

 

[Weed Eater]

Introducing...
royalofthebunch / royalofthebunchx / royalofthebunchxx / royalnesscrowned / Jasper
W.I.P. (mods feel free to move or delete this if this doesn't fit here)
View attachment 3319820

Powerlevel

D.O.B November-December 2002
Location: North Carolina, U.S. Fairmont?
Education: Douglas Bird High School, Fayetteville, N.C.


This person's account has become a personal lolcow of mine these past few days. I've been debating whether or not to make a thread of them in PG but I still have some more content to archive.

In the meanwhile lo and behold their most popular video (now deleted)
View attachment 3319463

In the meanwhile they're on TikTok and claim to not be black their social media posts tell a different story.

Spoiler: Accounts (As of 2022-05-24)

Main TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@royalofthebunch (archive)
First account: https://www.tiktok.com/@royalofthebunchx (BANNED)
Second Account: https://www.tiktok.com/@royalofthebunchxx (archive)
Third Account: https://www.tiktok.com/@royalme26 (archive)
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/royalofthebunch (archive)
Second Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/royalofthebunchx/ (archive)
Instagram Backup: https://www.instagram.com/royalnesscrowned (archive)

View attachment 3319506
link (archive)
Here they are with an ex-boyfriend with a caption that kind of explains their approach to gender identities
View attachment 3320301View attachment 3319597
link (archive)

I'll make sure I put more of their bizarreness on here as I archive their content, but simply put I think this person is worthy of lowcow because they are a self-hating black person using trans terms to make themselves sound special and rudely turning down the help of those trying to be kind to them.

They're porky thoughts about gender
View attachment 3319801
It seems that asking them questions is tantamount to poking an angry bear which in response leads to some sperg outs.

Spoiler

View attachment 3319808
View attachment 3319806
In response to asking what her what she's "mixed" with
View attachment 3319845

She claims to be immune to being called the gamerword
View attachment 3319846
View attachment 3319847

much more to be added soon, I just have to organize all my screenshots

But why their single still seems to be a mystery to them
View attachment 3319629

They may be single currently but they decided to make another TikTok showing their entire dating history.
View attachment 3319719
link (archive)

And as they state their page is not satire
View attachment 3319659
link (archive)

Do you guys think this is thread worthy?

This person entertains me to no end.

 

[slightly smashed corolla]

This person entertains me to no end.

I've managed to get more info on them but I'm not sure if it's even prospering grounds material yet... Time will tell with this one

 

[M3xus]

We have a particular coworker that only one, maybe two people can put up with. He's in his 40s and lives alone, and keeps going on about all his "girlfriends" he keeps getting, showing us pictures and the like.

He never, ever sees them in person, they're all online. Mysteriously, his bank account keeps getting hacked and he has to keep fighting his bank to get the stolen money back. He's had three banks I know of just refuse to keep him because of this.

There's two things that make this extra infuriating. One, he doesn't fall for every girl that starts e-flirting with him. Because of this, he thinks he's able to filter out the scammers and "real" girls, despite evidence to the contrary. For two, he gets really mad and defensive when you tell him he should stop doing all his flirting online. Even the janitors, one of which is a sweet, but literal retard, has told him this, and he blows up about how we "don't know anything about online dating" and "you never catch anything if you don't put a line out".

At least it's something we can all laugh about when he's not around.

 

[Watching]

Met this guy in college, he added me on facebook and now I only keep him around to laugh. He is suuuuuuuuuuuuper gay and suuuuuuuuuuuper disabled. Obviously that means that everything is some kind of personal slight against him and, obviously, he's constantly posting about it on facebook. He posts his grindr conversations because the other guy says something mildly shitty to him (on grindr, shocking I know). Someone got annoyed that it takes forever to load his wheelchair onto the city bus a couple weeks ago, so he posted her photo and called the police for her verbally accosting him.
God and he posts like a million of those cartoon filter selfies of himself. In the past seven days, he has posted 47 of them.

His latest saga is e-begging people to pay for his birthday. Here's some of those those posts:

Spoiler: First Post

I am putting feelers out, my birthday is in a couple months. I have dreamed of visiting Disney for my birthday for a long while... would there be friends out there willing to maybe help me achieve that dream? I hat the idea of asking for help for something like this, but I am hoping it wouldn't come to that - zero likes, zero comments

Spoiler: Second Post (next day)

What you are about to read, please don't feel obligated to contribute to; I know my birthday isn't for months, but fuck it, I am going to ask friends. I would love to go to Disney World for my birthday during their 50th Anniversary celebration. It would be a fantastic gift!
If you were going to contribute to this gift, what would make you feel most comfortable. A go fund me type of situation or donating the money directly to me. If everyone on my friend's list donated a dollar combined with my own financials, I could book it.
Comment below what method would make you feel most comfortable, and I will set it up in a few days. - zero likes, one comment (telling him to use GFM)

Spoiler: Third Post (two weeks later)

So [musical] will be in [town a couple hours away] on my birthday. Please comment if you’d be willing to donate to a go fund me as my birthday present to help me afford a nice dinner/hotel/tickets/merch for my birthday! Going to get a check on how people feel about this so I can dream but also plan accordingly - this post got 1 like, zero comments

 

[Welsh Catgirl Enjoyer]

Personal lolcow just started talking about porn again, out of the blue, on Discord and admitted that their brain "flatlines" if they don't cum twice a day, and claimed it's not an addiction, but a necessity.

...Then immediately started deleting my comments as soon as I pointed out that what they are describing is the textbook definition of an addiction and being unable to think unless you indulge the addiction is a withdrawal symptom.

Fucking coomers man.

 

[veeeeeeeee]

The only picture I could find of her is this one, posted by her mother Roxanne.

Spoiler: Warning: Malnutrition

View attachment 3350709

lookit that goofy-ass overbite. if you didn't explicitly tell me she was Australian I would've been making "oi mate wanna go out for some fish n chippies luv" jokes

 

[A Warm Cup of Covfefe]

Here's someone I've been following forever now and finally managed to post on here.
John aka attheendofyourdream is a gay thirst trap Instagrammer who is one of the biggest munchies I've ever seen. Loves posting shirtless pics but then gets disappointed when no one cares about his woe-is-me diattribes.
Him:

Spoiler: Shirtless Pic Beware

He gets frustrated when no one pays attention to his stories:

What are his stories like?

Spoiler: Wall of Text

My favorite aspect is he is a total Munchie. COVID Obsessed (self-admits he never leaves the house, yet still got it lmao) and constantly measuring his heart rate/blood pressure.

Spoiler: COVID Obsessed

 

[PipTheAlchemist]

Here's someone I've been following forever now and finally managed to post on here.
John aka attheendofyourdream is a gay thirst trap Instagrammer who is one of the biggest munchies I've ever seen. Loves posting shirtless pics but then gets disappointed when no one cares about his woe-is-me diattribes.
Him:

Spoiler: Shirtless Pic Beware

View attachment 3358484

He gets frustrated when no one pays attention to his stories:
View attachment 3358492

What are his stories like?

Spoiler: Wall of Text

View attachment 3358494
View attachment 3358495
View attachment 3358503
View attachment 3358504

My favorite aspect is he is a total Munchie. COVID Obsessed (self-admits he never leaves the house, yet still got it lmao) and constantly measuring his heart rate/blood pressure.

Spoiler: COVID Obsessed

View attachment 3358510
View attachment 3358511
View attachment 3358517

His one nipple is higher than the other