Personal Lolcows - Lolcows in your personal life.

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We have a guy who used to be in our city’s local cosplay community (I will get to why it is “used to” in a moment). His cosplays are laughably bad. The wigs look like he just threw them in a drawer when we was done and his makeup is just smeared on. Crack whores look better than this dude. He always does female cosplays. He says he is “gay and autistic”, but honestly that is just insulting to actual gay and autistic people. He got banned from a convention for following MINORS into the bathroom and just overall being a huge creep. He is also banned from most cosplay events and is banned from the local cosplay community’s Facebook group. He does “drag” now because the cosplay community wants nothing to do with him. He uses the excuse that he is autistic to diddle kids, which is stupid and disgusting. I have photos and videos of this person if anyone is interested.
 
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This is a fucking dick called chapter, he's a skinhead schizophrenic from London who spends all of his time lurking on discord hunting for pedophiles, he'll sit in a call I'm in with another friend for hours in the middle of the night with his mic muted and not interacting at all. In nearly every group we create for voice chat he fills it with random people who have no idea why they're there.
Generally though the people he gets involved with are even more peculiar, one time he asked us to help raid some edgy 40k /pol/ larp server, the owner was called emperor pyro, who chapter managed to completely catfish ("Elizabeth") in the span of a week, without ever voice chatting or sending pictures. First of all he managed to get a mirror picture (below), and during their discussions pyro confessed to a lot of fucked up shit, including; being a pedophile who tried to groom a 13 y/o, having a massive lactation/femdom fetish, and being brazilian while doing aryan larp
eventually he gave him admin and chapter gave me and others admin to brick his server with spam bots while he was asleep
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This guy named Sissy Alexa (but he also goes by Binky). I wish I could post more info but all of the videos of him pouring shit on himself and picking up dog poop to play in later are on a private discord server which I sadly got banned from. I'll try to make an alt and retrieve the files. This is the only picture of him on the web that's public. Make of that what you will.

EDIT: Managed to get into the server. Apparently it got nuked. I only found one other image of him and one video.
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I mentioned my personal lolcow back in January at work. Man oh man has she provided me with 5 months of lolmilk. It’s like having to work with a combo of Ana Mardoll and Becky Gerber with some Brianna Wu thrown in.

  • First of all, like many lolcows on here, she has a myriad of self diagnosed mental illnesses that she has no problem sharing with everyone and anyone on all of internal forum channels. She is autistic, has ADHD, is allegedly immunocompromised (more on that later), is depressed, and has PTSD from Slack being implemented in the office (lol).

  • She spends her day spamming all of our company wide channels with a myriad of complaints, usually about whatever is trending on Twitter. She had an absolute meltdown over Roe v. Wade, changing her profile pic to a keep abortion legal icon and reeeeeeing all over Slack. She spammed an article that had incorrect information about our company and our reaction to it, and when publicly confronted about it by a SVP of Communications, she told her to pound sand and that she trusted the fake news more.

  • As I mentioned she claims to be immunocompromised. Our company dropped the vaccine mandate, mandatory masks and testing at all offices (it is voluntary now). She went batshit insane claiming the company just wants her to die and how she can never leave her house again lest she get a cough because MUH immunocompromises. When someone asked what she did before Covid she went livid, claiming she was only being picked on because she’s a woman (lol) and said she had to take a week off because her mental health was being affected.

  • Her complaints are usually that the company isn’t doing enough about her problems and how triggered she is by it. For example, after the roe v wade leak, our company said that they would pay for relocation if they were in an affected state, and/or they would pay for travel to go out of state to get an abortion, which is pretty generous. Of course this wasn’t enough and she tried getting a STRONGLY WORDED PETITION to get the company to make a STRONGLY WORDED STATEMENT to achieve….I’m not really sure what. When this was ignored she cried and said it was another example of the company wanting her to die (she lives in a very liberal city in a blue state so she’s fine, also it would do her good to get laid so she’d shut up).

  • Trying to help her with her myriad problems and complaints is a fools errand. Good luck trying to explain that the company is doing a lot and if she is really that triggered by it, she’s more than welcome to leave. This caused her to flip her shit again screaming about toxic positivity and that her feelings weren’t being validated. Which is hilarious because when the vaccine mandate was implemented and several people said that was unfair, she told them the exact same thing.

  • If you do try to get at it whatever it is she wants, you realize she doesn’t even know what she wants. For example, with the abortion debate, when someone used her SJW speak to try to get to the root of the issue, she couldn’t come up with what she wanted to accomplish and what she wanted the company to do, so she flounced and went to go complain about gun control instead.
 
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started with these mongos kat and "sakura in cyrillic"
they sperged out about misgendering just cuz i shared a babylon bee joke post about lorenz being lorenz
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highlight: Bright brings up Ian Brandon Anderson's troon grift, gets called an asshole

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Fishka calls it as it is, cyrillic sakura now needs anal cream
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Not-so-Bright cuz he entertained this mongery further causing more sperging: "chris never had dysphoria"
Mike the Mong: "who cares therefore my point is correct"
long story short: I have cancer thanks to this
 
Steven J. Barendregt/Skillz/Baron Van Wyk
DOB: May 30, 1988
Mother: Joan Barendregt
Father: Arie Barendregt
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What happens when a lonely, pathetic man becomes so obsessed with circumcision that he becomes a Neo Nazi lolcow? That's basically the story of Steven Barendregt.

He thinks that Jews deserved to be gassed because of circumcision:
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His obsession with circumcision has caused his family members to avoid him and ruin his dating life:1614191000126.jpeg
He thinks circumcision is child rape:
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Is a Neo-Nazi:
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Is an incel that knows that all he can get is a sex doll and a surrogate:
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Is a closeted bisexual that was asking for muscle pics from another man and is rumored to like trannies :
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Allegedly raped some girl he went on a date with:
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Had a bitch fit at pro circumcision protestors:
 

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Edwardsullen said:
Steven J. Barendregt/Skillz/Baron Van Wyk
DOB: May 30, 1988
Mother: Joan Barendregt
Father: Arie Barendregt
View attachment 3380185
What happens when a lonely, pathetic man becomes so obsessed with circumcision that he becomes a Neo Nazi lolcow? That's basically the story of Steven Barendregt.

He thinks that Jews deserved to be gassed because of circumcision:
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His obsession with circumcision has caused his family members to avoid him and ruin his dating life:View attachment 3382592
He thinks circumcision is child rape:
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Is a Neo-Nazi:
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Is an incel that knows that all he can get is a sex doll and a surrogate:
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Is a closeted bisexual that was asking for muscle pics from another man and is rumored to like trannies :
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Allegedly raped some girl he went on a date with:
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Had a bitch fit at pro circumcision protestors:
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the first pic he looks like a tranny who hasn't gotten his top surgery yet
 
Another day, another tale of some psycho bitch I know about, an acquaintance of an acquaintance. This one, let's call her Susan, is quite the crazy bitch!

First of all, Susan is mordibly obese. Not merely chubby or just fat, I've had the misfortune of bumping into her once and she's literally bigger than a fucking hippo, one could be excused for mistaking her for that Octomom that was on the news back in the 2000's as her belly was that fucking large! She also loves to shit on thin women and makes all sorts of excuses to say she's healthy despite being unable to cross a street without panting!

Now, apart from being a bizarre sight, there's nothing wrong with Susan, right? Well, considering I'm writing about her here, guess what, she is the precise opposite of a jolly fat girl. Susan is a deeply miserable bitch, as I mentioned before. Seeing her in public was like watching an angry hippo who somehow developed a conscience deciding to be a complete asshole to everyone around it. Susan had two moods: Believing she was the hottest woman alive and acting all entitled over it, asking for free meals and gifts, and tard raging when people didn't treat her like a princess. The angriest moment I witnessed of her was when she got scammed by a guy she sent a nude for in exchange for a fast food order, guy created a fake account on one those apps and all that, sent her a photoshopped screenshot and the actual order that came by was to be paid on arrival. To say she was pissed about this was an understatement, she went literally red with anger and sent him death threats, and of course fucking nothing came of it lol!

Susan's deeply severe narcissism is what makes her hilarious to me. We are talking about a 36 years old obese woman who thinks she is, coming from her own words, "A Goddess", who literally won't go a week without begging for food from complete strangers and thinks sending nudes to random guys in exchange for cash transfers qualifies her as a "professional model", she is nearly 40 and acts like a fucking womanbaby whose pastime is complaining about not being treated with the "respect she deserves" and insulting random younger girls saying they don't come close to her beauty. She is so fucking pathetic that she would be frankly unforgivable if her self-inflicted misery wasn't so funny lol!
 
Edwardsullen said:
I think that's because he probably has low testosterone. That explains why he chimps out about circumcision.
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But everyone knows it's impossible for a circumcised man to maintain a normal level of T. In fact, every problem he has can certainly be attributed to his male genital mutilation. HE IS A VICTIM DAMMIT

I'm conceptually opposed to it myself but these guys who are so activist about it that they ruin family relationships and their social life are clearly taking a good idea way too far.
 
My personal lolcow is a relative who seems like a cartoon or a caricature of a budding incel

He's 25, never even kissed a girl, is obsessed with guns, Warhammer, and anime, and can't read social cues.

The most recent arc was him managing to talk to a female co-worker and get her number only to spam her with texts and get ghosted. She didn't show up for work for like 2 weeks and when she came back he had a freak out when he got home that night and gave in his two week notice the next day. During the entirety of the arc his sisters were telling him to chill out and keep it casual.

Some of my personal favorite moments:

Bringing a sword to work (to show off not as a threat) and getting sent home and a written warning

Spending literally hundreds on Ubers too and from work because he's afraid of public transport

Buying lingerie for a girl he knew as a child that he hadn't seen and barely talked to in years and trying to give it to her infront of a group of mutual friends and some relatives

Sulking for a few days because the $3,000 gaming computer his sister and parents got him didn't have the right graphics card
 

I know this guy in real life. He's a pathological liar and anime degenerate. He had childhood melanoma and still receives social security disability for it. That's his monthly tugboat. He still lives with his parents, yet he's such a nuisance to his parents and they want him to move out, so he pays around $250 a month out his tugboat for rent (utilities and groceries included). His entire youtube channel is essentially fights with his parents. He even submits tips to the police against his parents for horrible criminal offenses like "intimidation" and "elder abuse" (he doesn't understand the term lmao). The police have even shown up to tell him to knock it off but does that stop him? Nope! The guy is incredibly strange and spends all most all day in his room.

Here's his tik tok and a few videos from it:



I'm not so worried about doxing him because he posts his private information literally everywhere. You can find all his other accounts with 1 search lol. I can expand on this and share more videos from his channel. Check it out if you want, and you can definitely see why I consider him a personal lolcow. Just go to any video with "mom" or "dad" in the title.
 
coomer mcgee said:

I know this guy in real life. He's a pathological liar and anime degenerate. He had childhood melanoma and still receives social security disability for it. That's his monthly tugboat. He still lives with his parents, yet he's such a nuisance to his parents and they want him to move out, so he pays around $250 a month out his tugboat for rent (utilities and groceries included). His entire youtube channel is essentially fights with his parents. He even submits tips to the police against his parents for horrible criminal offenses like "intimidation" and "elder abuse" (he doesn't understand the term lmao). The police have even shown up to tell him to knock it off but does that stop him? Nope! The guy is incredibly strange and spends all most all day in his room.

Here's his tik tok and a few videos from it:

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I'm not so worried about doxing him because he posts his private information literally everywhere. You can find all his other accounts with 1 search lol. I can expand on this and share more videos from his channel. Check it out if you want, and you can definitely see why I consider him a personal lolcow. Just go to any video with "mom" or "dad" in the title.
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How old is he
 
Stumbled across my current personal favourite lolcow by essentially following another potential lolcow into a Discord server, and oooooh boy. Wish I could post evidence, but its a tiny server and I have no doubts that chickie Googles herself. Anyway, some of the highlights are:
  • Munchie to the extreme. Most of the server is pretty open about mental/physical health shit, and everything someone mentions, she's apparently got the worst form of it. We literally watched the crazy bitch start fake gagging and then disappear to 'vomit' when somebody brought up having GERD in a VC. Shit was wild.
  • Allegedly anorexic, but constantly posting pics of food she's making and eats constantly in VC. By my count, she eats at least 4 full meals a day.
  • Attention whore. The least of her crimes, but she'll hijack literally any conversation to turn it to herself, or just continually vague-post about fucked up shit until people pay attention to her. She also likes to get topless on video in VCs and do yoga whenever she wants attention.
  • Fakes being full-on Asian. She's clearly the whitest chick you've ever seen (like redhead-with-freckles white), but calls herself a "white-passing full blood Asian lady". At the most generous, I'd maybe give her a great-grandparent being Asian but that's about it.
I could go on about all the ridiculous shit she claims, but I think that'll do for now.
 
shank said:
Stumbled across my current personal favourite lolcow by essentially following another potential lolcow into a Discord server, and oooooh boy. Wish I could post evidence, but its a tiny server and I have no doubts that chickie Googles herself. Anyway, some of the highlights are:
  • Munchie to the extreme. Most of the server is pretty open about mental/physical health shit, and everything someone mentions, she's apparently got the worst form of it. We literally watched the crazy bitch start fake gagging and then disappear to 'vomit' when somebody brought up having GERD in a VC. Shit was wild.
  • Allegedly anorexic, but constantly posting pics of food she's making and eats constantly in VC. By my count, she eats at least 4 full meals a day.
  • Attention whore. The least of her crimes, but she'll hijack literally any conversation to turn it to herself, or just continually vague-post about fucked up shit until people pay attention to her. She also likes to get topless on video in VCs and do yoga whenever she wants attention.
  • Fakes being full-on Asian. She's clearly the whitest chick you've ever seen (like redhead-with-freckles white), but calls herself a "white-passing full blood Asian lady". At the most generous, I'd maybe give her a great-grandparent being Asian but that's about it.
I could go on about all the ridiculous shit she claims, but I think that'll do for now.
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Reggers aren't white
 
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