A Kiwi Farms game of FATAL: Abandon all hope, ye who enter here

Burned Man said:
I'd imagine the bandits might have some interesting items. I'll head that way.
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ActualKiwi said:
Glaukon follows the little girl, turning his horse and cart to follow hers. Knowing (I guess?) that there are bandits, he keeps his maul ready for action... [[We're going to get raped...I just know it]]
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The dungeon is a couple of hours away guys calm down.

Dynastia said:
I hit the guard with my whip.
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Alright, your whip does nothing to the guard's metal armor. Great planning. The guard rolls Graphic Gore on you. Despite the fact that you're standing in front of him, the table dictates that his spear impales your head from behind, piercing one of your eyes. You die instantly.

Dynastia is dead!
 
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Glaukon feels happy for some completely unknown reason.
 
Gregek Kuruhulurk follows the gang on their way to this rape bandit dungeon, feeling somethow disheartened he didn't enslave the kobold wench when he had the chance.
 
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After several hours, all of you are now standing outside of the bandits' cave. They're all hidden inside the cave though. There's no door or anything, it's just a cave that you can descend down into.
 
Splendid Meat Sticks said:
After several hours, all of you are now standing outside of the bandits' cave. They're all hidden inside the cave though. There's no door or anything, it's just a cave that you can descend down into.
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Glaukon gets off his cart, sending the wolves bounding into the cave, they're expendable and rapeable. He shoulders his maul and waits for the others
 
Gregek takes out his morningstar and begins walking into the cave following the doggies.
 
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Sybil double checks her chastity belt is still locked, cracks her knuckles and proceeds to follow Gregek.
 
ActualKiwi said:
Glaukon gets off his cart, sending the wolves bounding into the cave, they're expendable and rapeable. He shoulders his maul and waits for the others
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The dogs dissappear into the cave. After a few minutes, you can't hear their barking anymore.
Azazel said:
Gregek takes out his morningstar and begins walking into the cave following the doggies.
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Ok.
Randall Fragg said:
I'm going to oil myself up and prepair to light myself on fire.
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Alright, you're olied up. You now have a 100% chance of catching on fire if exposed to any source of fire or just too much heat.
Burned Man said:
Sybil double checks her chastity belt is still locked, cracks her knuckles and proceeds to follow Gregek.
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Ok.

The bandits now know that you are here because of the wolves. When you guys enter the cave, you see four bandits. They're all wearing a full suit of chain mail and carrying daggers and shortswords.
 
I'm going to set myself on fire with the flint and steel and start screaming my head off. I'll hoist my mace ax and begin advancing towards them.
 
Gregek gets out of the way of the flaming zombie and then looks to see if any of the bandits aren't paying attention to him so he can swing at them
 
Splendid Meat Sticks said:
@Azazel The bandits are aware of everyone's presence already.
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I think @Azazel was more wondering whether they'd be distracted from him by the flaming idiot.
Glaukon hurls one of his few remaining molotovs at the nearest bandit and follows it up by charging at him and taking a swing with his maul (holding at a fulcrum of 50, if that even matters).
 
ActualKiwi said:
I think @Azazel was more wondering whether they'd be distracted from him by the flaming idiot.
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Yea, this. I figured some dude on fire charging at them would be a little distracting. Oh well.

Gregek holds his morning start at fulcrum point 60 and charges at whatever bandits aren't already being charged at and takes a swing.
 
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