Trashfire 5/23/2022 Gunt Goes to Portugal 2 - The Double Pounder

[JohnnyText]

But he's not a sorcerer, because sorcerers are cool.

And he hasn't murdered anybody, yet.

 

[Capt. Jean Luc Ritard]

So is Ralph just trying to pretend his "Faith, I'm throwing up black ooze! I'm gonna die soon, Faith! Suck my dick before I die of vomiting up black ooze, Faith!" texts didn't happen?

Yes because he was lying to get attention. Classic badass Don Draper move.

 

[Gravityqueen4life]

New oinking hot off the twinkie rack
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https://twitter.com/TheRalphRetort/status/1531000605556228099?cxt=HHwWhoCy0Y28mr8qAAAA

i still remember the message ralph sent to faith wishing JoRo would die in his sleep.

i would like to comment on the fight for a bit. when ralph got his ass beat, he looked a bit confused at first. like he didn't understand what was going on while he was getting beat on. he looked like a child after saying something bad to his mother and suddenly, getting slapped or, a person with dementia not understanding what's going on.

he didn't even try to defend himself. after a few seconds. i dont know if its because he got tired or had no idea how to (maybe a bit of both) but he just stopped caring while being punched on with no resistance. than as soon as Dan leaves and ralph gets up, its like he forgot what even happened a few seconds earlier and tries to fight Dan again.

im glad Keem cancelled the fight since it would last less than a few seconds.

 

[Odogaron_big_red_dog]

there are people that donate money to Ethan Ralph and Nick Fuentes. Because they actually look up to these idiots. Like holy shit.

What about troll donos? Probably the only thing I'd agree with the rage pig on, its a very special kind of cuck simpery to pay someone money to insult them.

 

[Catboys the Musical]

Yes because he was lying to get attention. Classic badass Don Draper move.

It goes to show how totally based and uber badass his "say anything to women to get sex" strategy is. If you grovel and beg and tell a woman that you're dying and vomiting up black ooze to get her in bed, it's totally based and alpha male.

 

[Blue Miaplacidus]

It goes to show how totally based and uber badass his "say anything to women to get sex" strategy is. If you grovel and beg and tell a woman that you're dying and vomiting up black ooze to get her in bed, it's totally based and alpha male.

at least it's cheaper than buying her the whole switch game catalog and her amazon wishlist

 

[Crass_and_Champ]

We really need to try and con him into a visit to the more cultural areas of Napoli, too.

Hell, anywhere in Napoli would kick Ralph's ass. They'd beat him up in Vomero and roll him down the funicular tracks like a bowling ball.

 

[Wine em Dine em 69 em]

I’d like to point out that we’ve had a confirmed tornado and 4 earthquakes in central Virginia since Ralph abandoned his ReRoll Spite Family to fend for themselves in the Southside ghetto RSO neighborhood.
Coincidentally it’s also the Covid hotspot du jour thanks to McGuire Hospital being down the skreet, where the poors are dumped off. Much like Ralph’s dead Momma. Struggling to walk to dialysis in the ghetto under a blazing son while her deadbeat son sleeps off his pill hangover.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Of course Ralph has to make a pilgrimage to the place that’s an anagram of I am fat. It’s like it was built just for him!

 

[Deborah "Debbie" Grayson]

Revelation 21:8 "But for the cowardly and unbelieving and abominable and murderers and immoral persons and sorcerers and idolaters and all liars, their part will be in the lake that burns with fire and brimstone, which is the second death.”
Ralph is an idolater, immoral, liar, abominable, and a coward. A royal flush at being a piece of shit in life.

I think he might be a sorcerer, too.

 

[MeganDodgedABullet]

We really need to try and con him into a visit to the more cultural areas of Napoli, too.

Yeah.I've been to a few nights out there - would be interesting to see how Gunt reacts to the kind offers from the local yoot to "look after your car" for a couple of euros while you're partying it up.

 

[Symalsa]

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Why does Ralph keep buying these purses? If he has extra shit to carry around he could easily get a small backpack. Ffs a Fanny Pack looks less gay.

What’s he carrying that he needs a small bag? Cigars? They make decent hard cases for holding cigars that would fit in most pockets.

I’m seriously asking. Has anyone seen what’s stashed in his purse? When his purse got stolen last time I don’t remember him mentioning anything valuable he lost as a result.

 

[whogoesthere]

Lol, I love that he’s now including May’s account, that he runs, in his tweets. I’m now totally convinced they are a happy couple since Ralph has miraculously remembered his baby mama exists after he finally noticed KF discussing him abandoning her in a rage pig fit.

I’m sure May is concocting the dream itinerary for her beloved to enjoy, all by himself, without her. She’s so happy to be home alone in the ghetto with Rozie giving Ralph travel tips. In fact it was probably her that told him to go to Lisbon again!

You know you jest, but I would not be surprised if she is somewhat glad he is gone. No more rage outs, or smashing shit, or his screaming fits. Imagine that gunt, waddling into the bedroom, stinking of piss and whiskey, falling into bed, then roughly showing his filthy, tobacco stained trotters all over her panties in his attempt to coax out a pity fuck.

Some women need years of therapy for that type of experience, she (even with a kid I have my doubts) choose it.

 

[Pork Packer]

I think he might be a sorcerer, too.

I hear this sorcerer made an entire buffet table disappear

Twice

 

[EyeGuy]

On his way back from Fatima, Ralph passes an even more significant pilgrimage site:

 

[Chiridion]

I think he might be a sorcerer, too.

I think Nicki's the sorcerer-- a cum sorcerer.

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

I hope each country Ralph travels to. Someone beats his ass.

 

[HotdogWater]

What’s he carrying that he needs a small bag? Cigars? They make decent hard cases for holding cigars that would fit in most pockets.

I’m seriously asking. Has anyone seen what’s stashed in his purse?

Trash burgers. You could probably fit 10-12 if you really crammed them. That's why he held the $25 Nike women's purse so tightly when Dan the Gunt Hunter was pummeling him. Precious cargo!

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

You know you jest, but I would not be surprised if she is somewhat glad he is gone. No more rage outs, or smashing shit, or his screaming fits. Imagine that gunt, waddling into the bedroom, stinking of piss and whiskey, falling into bed, then roughly showing his filthy, tobacco stained trotters all over her panties in his attempt to coax out a pity fuck.

Some women need years of therapy for that type of experience, she (even with a kid I have my doubts) choose it.

I’m sure it’s much easier for her when Ralph is gone.

Ralph just made his rage vacay obvious by not even being able to conjure an adequate lie about his two week transatlantic departure better than “no particular reason”.

No particular reason, directly translates to I won’t discuss why I booked a transatlantic flight away from my baby mama and child during to cap off my four day rage fit meltdown. But to be fair coming up with any reason that doesn’t make him look terrible is damn near impossible.

No particular reason, however, only works for a trip to the park, an afternoon drive down to the coast, or a weekend getaway - not a two week transatlantic trip.

I imagine Ralph thinks the explanation works because he watched soap operas with Sandra and that’s the kind of things those actors did in between medical emergencies and cocktails.

 

[Butwhythough]

Dear Ralph, if you were an actual Christian who read the Bible you would know that God and Jesus don't look too kindly on those that pray for them to smite their enemies. "Revenge is mine sayth the Lord." That means only God is allowed to have revenge, not you Ralph.

In Psalms there are several prayers where David asked God for help against his enemies. The difference here is that David was humble, even after his affair with Bathsheba and having her husband Uriah killed on the front lines, God humbled David by killing his first born son. The difference between David doing it and Ralph doing it is humbleness. Ralph is prideful and no matter how many opportunities there are to humble him, he doesn't learn. I'm no catholic, but I do know that according to the seven deadly sins pride is the worst sin, because that was the sin of Lucifer. But I don't believe any sin to God is better or worse it is all sin.