Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

[instythot]

However, I don't get the pure idiocy of acting like people complaining about you ruining the entire board with hundreds of identical shitposts is somehow much worse than you posting hundreds of identical shitposts because you've decided someone is ruining the board by having a podcast which you were all in favor of three weeks ago and can easily ignore at any time. Ridiculously tedious faggotry. Just call the fat dumb guy fat and dumb.

I get what your saying to be honest witcha, but have you seen what that guy on /r/all texts Pat? They're just applying that tactic inwards

 

[Next Task]

100+ rejection letters, turned into book format, would be kinda interesting to read. Sadly for Pat, this is a famous author concept and not a KF famous one. Imagine reading the rejection letters of JK Rowling, George R. R. Martin on how their book sucks, then it turns into a billion dollar enterprise.

It's a fun idea because the reader already knows the conclusion of the "story," but gets to laugh at the people's lack of foresight.

There's been things like that, but as you say, they're only about successful people. Like a book collection of every negative review The Rolling Stones ever had, or Steven Spielberg's response to the Hollywood suit that wanted to change the title of Back to the Future, or the screentest of Fred Astaire that came back with the notes, 'Can't act, can't sing, can dance a little'.

But a collection of rejections of a Pat book wouldn't have you appreciating that schadenfreude, because anyone who didn't publish his work dodged a bullet. From what I can tell, Pat isn't as offensively bad an author like Chuck 'herkily-jerkily' Wendig, he's just dully subpar to the point where 'workmanlike' would be a compliment. The true humour lies in his delusions of being an unsung genius, when his idea of genius is a trans space crab crowbarred into a boring story for woke points.

His submission letters are probably where the real crazy lies, as opposed to the bunch of form letters he got from bored publishing house peons who have to go through the slush pile. Comparing what he claims to have written to what he actually wrote would be ... well, it would be a predictable gulf, but Pat lives in that gulf between 'dogshit' and 'how Pat thinks he actually appears'.

 

[Trayvon Fartin]

He's almost certainly just making up a wild number to have the highest number in the thread. But him not realizing that padding your rejection number doesn't make the quality of your writing look good is some prime Tomlinson

You think he’s exaggerating when he says 120 people thought his shit sucks? Sure man.

 

[Maude Snew]

There is no rejection letter as big as his book sales numbers. A big fat fuck you truly worthy of big fat Rick S. Thomas.

 

[instythot]

You think he’s exaggerating when he says 120 people thought his shit sucks? Sure man.

I think he's lying when Fat Rick, a man too lazy to use spell check or clean dirt off of his driveway without a pressure washer, says he tried doing something 120 times without giving up

 

[Nod Flenders]

Dear Pat,

Your manuscript doesn’t meet our standards. It was covered in grease stains and you misspelled “good” three different ways.

However, your homemade pepperoni was delicious. We, here at Special Ed Publishing, think you have a bright future as an amateur pizza chef and should focus on that instead.

Best regards,
Special Ed Publishing

Patrick's response? Calling the publishing house "child". Also, Patrick is still fat.

 

[Satan McAllister]

Meanwhile, publishers and agents just became John Does 61-180.

 

[Somerville Dan]

Yeah, I saw the repost and I agree with most of what he said. Sadly the O&A board is so full of faggotry I guess I'm done lurking there. Have seen posters literally saying stuff like "I like anything that offends regular posters" as if that doesn't automatically make you a fucking loser. "OMG people complain when the same five faggots spam the same contrarian shit ad nauseam!!! So lame!!" Just stop going there then, you fucking cunt.

Buncha fat fedora wearing, neckbeard having edgelord faggots over there.

I don't disagree with you. Slow times lead to massive amounts of faggotry over there. The next big event should be the mid June appeal case for Quasi. There's still a lot going on with that story. Stay tuned.

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

"Nothing like my book has ever been written" either indicates that you, like Pat, are a narcissist who doesn't like to read, and thus are as unfit to be an author as a man deaf since birth is to compose music, or you are a lunatic sending your crazy person's manifesto. Neither one is saleable.

Hey now. Plenty of deaf musicians and composers exist. They had a gift for music that transcended their disability. Patrick has a gift for grinding little black boys into pepperoni that somehow transcends both his fat and profound mental retardation.

Also, rate me late if it's been mentioned already, but Patrick Tomlinson is fat. Bloated, like a beached whale, though I've never seen one as big as Patrick.

 

[TollBoothWilly]

Most agents/managers won't talk to you if you don't have an MFA, so ol' 1.7 would normally have no chance. He only got an agent because of his disingenuous abortion tweet that got him 80k followers or whatever, which may be the most infuriating part of all of this. He was handed exactly what he wanted, based on a fluke and the perception of Twitter having more social importance than it really does, then failed so spectacularly just by being an awful person that Tor said, "you know, don't bother with that third book, we're good here."

Think how disappointed they were. "This guy's a white man, sure, but he's got 80k Twitter followers where he says all the good boy things, that's got to mean at least 8k in sales, give him a shot."

Someone pointed it out already so I'm not the one who first said this, but fatshits abortion tweet is not an original idea like he tells everyone it is. He even koolaid man's into other peoples threads to ask for credit when someone else uses his stupid argument. But there has been a debate about the morality of throwing out fertilized embryos since IV fertilization was becoming more common in the 90s. People have written academic papers asking whether it's better to save a thousand embryos or one live baby. Stem cell research brought the issue up again in the early 2000s. I don't want to link to a .pdf but I googled fatso's question and found a paper from 2007 asking the exact thing fat said in his tweet in 2017.
So fatshits big moment is another lie.
I looked for the original post that someone made but I can't find it. I think it might have been on the OnA forums? Digging through 100 pages of well thought out criticism of Dan and his podcast seems like a good time but I'm not doing that. But thanks to whoever it was. I think it's important people know that even that small accomplishment was another Tomlinsonian lie.

 

[Piggy Higuera]

Someone pointed it out already so I'm not the one who first said this, but fatshits abortion tweet is not an original idea like he tells everyone it is. He even koolaid man's into other peoples threads to ask for credit when someone else uses his stupid argument. But there has been a debate about the morality of throwing out fertilized embryos since IV fertilization was becoming more common in the 90s. People have written academic papers asking whether it's better to save a thousand embryos or one live baby. Stem cell research brought the issue up again in the early 2000s. I don't want to link to a .pdf but I googled fatso's question and found a paper from 2007 asking the exact thing fat said in his tweet in 2017.
So fatshits big moment is another lie.
I looked for the original post that someone made but I can't find it. I think it might have been on the OnA forums? Digging through 100 pages of well thought out criticism of Dan and his podcast seems like a good time but I'm not doing that. But thanks to whoever it was. I think it's important people know that even that small accomplishment was another Tomlinsonian lie.

He only graduated high school because his mother worked there, his 1st, better wife's father got him a job selling scam insurance to old people, and he got his publishing deal due to a tweet which was a stolen idea. It's hard to find someone so arrogant who earned absolutely nothing himself.

Is he a public figure who can be used as a character in a self-published book based on a beloved 19th century literary character?

 

[get-tar manajerk]

It's been explained in thorough detail in this thread but the embryos might not make it to be a healthy baby. IVF doesn't work a lot of the time. By bringing them out of the burning clinic, they'll probably get fucked up anyway by not being stored properly. His biggest achievement of which he is most proud is a tweet flaunting obvious false equivalency as some supreme genius take.

This is some Algebra II, which I know that fat piece of shit failed, but here goes.

There are a finite number of publishers, represented by x. When your rejection count is at least 2x, this could mean:

1. You are a shitty liar
2. You are a shitty writer
3. You should consider a new career path, preferably involving quick service fried food or discount retail
4. You are exceptionally fat

Damn I didn't think about this. I wonder how many publishing houses even exist in America?.

Plenty of deaf musicians and composers exist. They had a gift for music that transcended their disability.

I was always under the impression they weren't born deaf they became deaf. If that's true that you can be born never hearing sounds and still somehow come up with beautiful music, that's impressive.

Almost as impressive as a non-artic/non-marine mammal having a thick layer of insulating blubber.

Are there any other fat pokemon? Funny to imagine him as snorlax but that's already reserved for everyones favourite dementia riddled rape victim.

 

[AnOminous]

Are there any other fat pokemon?

You never heard of Snorlax?

 

[get-tar manajerk]

You never heard of Snorlax?

I know all about snorlax and what Chris Chan did to her. I guess we could have more than one snorlax but I feel barb earned that title.

Maybe Patrick is more like Mr.Mime because he looks like a faggot and just mimes whatever he thinks people who actually have testosterone behave (the cargo cult example a few pages back was perfect).

 

[AnOminous]

I know all about snorlax and what Chris Chan did to her. I guess we could have more than one snorlax but I feel barb earned that title.

Maybe Patrick is more like Mr.Mime because he looks like a faggot and just mimes whatever he thinks people who actually have testosterone behave (the cargo cult example a few pages back was perfect).

Jynx is pretty fat. There's also Miltank which is a cow, like Patrick himself.

 

[get-tar manajerk]

Jynx is pretty fat. There's also Miltank which is a cow, like Patrick himself.

Good call. I need to find a totally legal copy of photoshop that works so I can put Fatricks face on miltank. The thing is miltank can fit in a pokeball. They'd need to make custom ones for piggy fatlips.

 

[thismanlies]

I know all about snorlax and what Chris Chan did to her. I guess we could have more than one snorlax but I feel barb earned that title.

Maybe Patrick is more like Mr.Mime because he looks like a faggot and just mimes whatever he thinks people who actually have testosterone behave (the cargo cult example a few pages back was perfect).

That’s a tough one. I can’t think of any pokemon who are fat, stupid, and angry. Then again, I stopped playing the games after gen 3 so maybe Nintendo came up with something.

 

[Plaintiff is fat]

You never heard of Snorlax?

Snorlax is not fat in any medical sense, child. It has beer and brat fat on it's face from living in Kanto during the winter, and is broader in the chest and shoulders than most Pokémon.

 

[Rustled Jimmies]

I know all about snorlax and what Chris Chan did to her. I guess we could have more than one snorlax but I feel barb earned that title.

Maybe Patrick is more like Mr.Mime because he looks like a faggot and just mimes whatever he thinks people who actually have testosterone behave (the cargo cult example a few pages back was perfect).

Fatrick does look like Mr Mime
The smarmy, fat-faced version from the live-action movie

 

[Cold Root Beer]

Good call. I need to find a totally legal copy of photoshop that works so I can put Fatricks face on miltank. The thing is miltank can fit in a pokeball. They'd need to make custom ones for piggy fatlips.

Photopea is a free in-browser program that works pretty good as a PS alternative.