What would you do if you were paid to be a bodyguard?

[Skitarii]

I would probably scam my life insurance ngl

 

[Breadbassket]

use it as an excuse to shove paparazzi around and get paid to do it

 

[Shidoen]

I wouldn’t do Jack shit for celebrities that’s for sure.

 

[MrTroll]

Steal stuff from my VIP's hotel rooms, then blame it on hoodlums. Nobody ever expects a crooked bodyguard.

 

[Testacles Maximus]

Guard bodies.

 

[Red Hood]

Steal the rims off of my VIP's car.

 

[Russian Bot]

Take the paycheque until I was required to do literally anything, then quit rather than face violence for some rich dude.

 

[Sage In All Fields]

I would shut up and do my job

 

[malleusmaleficarum]

I'm a night security guard and I get paid to jerk off every night.
Yep you read that right. I jerk off every night I'm on shift. My supervisor will check in over the walkie sometimes which sucks. He has done so right as I'm about to cum and ruined it for me which sucks but being paid a living wage while jerking off is worth being blue balled occasionally.

Once a night in the camera room where I'm stationed I pull out me dick and pull up some porn on my phone and go to town. I always stop by a coffee stand on the way to work so I usually cum in the coffee cup then put the lid back on and throw it out. After doing this job for years the company has probably paid me thousands to jerk off at this point. That makes every orgasm even sweeter. Just last night I shot ropes so hard in that cup thinking about how great my life is that I get paid to cum.

Edit: Thanks for the love and support guys. I'm gonna crank extra hard while on shift tonight just for you all. Keep on rockin'

 

[Wine em Dine em 69 em]

I’d choreograph some badass moves and join Public Enemy.

 

[The Gifted Kid]

First day on the job I'd show up in a wheel chair just to see the reaction I'd get.

 

[Uncle Phil]

I'm a night security guard and I get paid to jerk off every night.
Yep you read that right. I jerk off every night I'm on shift.

I did a security gig for two years in uni. You're doing it wrong.

Talk to me when you spend your overnight hitting chicks up on dating sites and having them drive over and suck your cock in the security office.

 

[malleusmaleficarum]

I did a security gig for two years in uni. You're doing it wrong.

Talk to me when you spend your overnight hitting chicks up on dating sites and having them drive over and suck your cock in the security office.

why are you trying to one-up a copypasta? I bet the chicks were ugly as shit too nigger

 

[Skitarii]

why are you trying to one-up a copypasta? I bet the chicks were ugly as shit too nigger

Those chicks were probably sheboons

Or filipinas

Or both