Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[Bulk Bogan]

I think the prequels can be described as somewhat mediocre movies with glimpses of greatness, that can be enjoyed as "so bad it's good" movies. There's just enough cheesy moments and genuinely decent action to be entertained.

They're movies you watch with a bunch of friends and alcohol. Drink whenever Padme is visibly wet for a psycho murderer! Don't actually do that, you'll die.

If anything, the prequels are frustrating cause they weren't off the mark by much. Add a little here, cut back on the childish nonsense here and you might get really great movies.

Here's where I'll have to disagree. In my opinion radical changes are necessary, the entire structure of the trilogy needed to be reworked. Best example of this is the entirety of EpI, since if you skip it you miss... pretty much just the fact that Annie is from desert hell and loves his mommy, which could have been covered in flashback.

Meanwhile, the sequels are just insultingly terrible and while the action is good, everything else is just so terrible, even the action scens can't make up for that. There is nothing salvageable here. Nothing worth keeping about them. You'd have to delcare them non-canon and start from scratch, cause they are off the mark every single time.

Of course with this nothing you said was wrong and everything you said, especially that last sentence, is 100% correct. The only way out for Disney is to slash literally all of their new canon and beg forgiveness with an accurate adaptation of the Thrawn trilogy. You know, what they should have done from the start.

As for the action, the prequel fights have a tendency to just go on and on and on, especially when lightsabers are involved. I like me some clone Vietnam, but lightsaber fights are kinda dull.

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

Here's where I'll have to disagree. In my opinion radical changes are necessary, the entire structure of the trilogy needed to be reworked. Best example of this is the entirety of EpI, since if you skip it you miss... pretty much just the fact that Annie is from desert hell and loves his mommy, which could have been covered in flashback.

Well, can't argue with that. You can't save every individual movie by changing little things, but you can take what's good from every movie in the entire PT and then make a new trilogy based on the accumulated set of ideas and concepts.

Episode 1 indeed could be a 15 minute segment at the start of a movie, the most important bit is the relationship between Qui Gon Jin and Obiwan Kenobi and how that plays into the relationship between Obiwan and Anakin later on... but that could and should have been handled way better. It's never a good sign when an entire movie in your trilogy could be cut without losing much that couldn't just be tacked on to one of the other movies in a few minutes of flashback.

And just cause I love to raise this point:
The sequels take this issue to a whole new level, where you can not only skip the second movie without losing anything, the movies are such a clusterfuck of retreading ground, you could watch the trilogy in any random order and it would change nothing. At worst, you might have to rewrite a few lines in the opening text crawl.

 

[Bulk Bogan]

And just cause I love to raise this point:
The sequels take this issue to a whole new level, where you can not only skip the second movie without losing anything, the movies are such a clusterfuck of retreading ground, you could watch the trilogy in any random order and it would change nothing. At worst, you might have to rewrite a few lines in the opening text crawl.

The dead speak! When Disney isn't ransacking the EU for content it can butcher it's coming up with original ideas that boggle the mind, like having a critical plot point for the capstone film take place exclusively in the hit children's game Fortnite.

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

The dead speak! When Disney isn't ransacking the EU for content it can butcher it's coming up with original ideas that boggle the mind, like having a critical plot point for the capstone film take place exclusively in the hit children's game Fortnite.

I can't help but picture a couple of soulless, joyless Disney executives sitting in a room, brainstorming on how to overcome the massive drop in popularity after TLJ pissed off so many people.

These jokers are people that need a focus group to tell them what is or isn't entertaining, cause these people devoid of any creativity or hobbies even remotely related to modern media simply don't understand the appeal of the media that they work in.
So they have a talk, someone suggests an event at a venue that's hip with the kids, so they brainstorm some more to figure out if that's gonna be on MTV or if they should be really bold and make it a Facebook thing until someone goes "Well, I have a son and he plays Fortnite" so they all nod their heads and decide to market their next movie via a digital event on Fortnite.

It's just icing on the cake that the event itself was just a 5 second clip of Palpatine going "lol, you faggots thought I was dead, PSYKE!".
Like, this big event setting up their last movie still fails to explain anything. I genuinely do not understand how people can look at this clusterfuck of a trilogy and simply accept that it has no narrative connection to the previous movies. The old trilogy ends with the Empire being defeated, the new trilogy starts with ... pretty much the same situation we were in at the start of ANH without an explanation in the movies how any of this happened or how it connects to the end of the old saga. It boggles the mind.

 

[marvlouslie]

Shill can't understand why I called him a paid shill and continues to defend milady's (lack of) honor.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

I can't help but picture a couple of soulless, joyless Disney executives sitting in a room, brainstorming on how to overcome the massive drop in popularity after TLJ pissed off so many people.

These jokers are people that need a focus group to tell them what is or isn't entertaining, cause these people devoid of any creativity or hobbies even remotely related to modern media simply don't understand the appeal of the media that they work in.
So they have a talk, someone suggests an event at a venue that's hip with the kids, so they brainstorm some more to figure out if that's gonna be on MTV or if they should be really bold and make it a Facebook thing until someone goes "Well, I have a son and he plays Fortnite" so they all nod their heads and decide to market their next movie via a digital event on Fortnite.

It's just icing on the cake that the event itself was just a 5 second clip of Palpatine going "lol, you faggots thought I was dead, PSYKE!".
Like, this big event setting up their last movie still fails to explain anything. I genuinely do not understand how people can look at this clusterfuck of a trilogy and simply accept that it has no narrative connection to the previous movies. The old trilogy ends with the Empire being defeated, the new trilogy starts with ... pretty much the same situation we were in at the start of ANH without an explanation in the movies how any of this happened or how it connects to the end of the old saga. It boggles the mind.

It doesn't help that the Sequel Trilogy suffers from too groups.

The Disney Executives who try really hard to play it safe so rejected Lucas' ideas and put too much trust in Kennedy and Lucasfilm since they think that it would work out for itself like with the MCU.

Kennedy for prioritizing her weird ass agenda and the directors for either setting up too many mystery boxes or not understanding that they are making a sequel.

 

[Midwit]

The one thing I'm not going to give Star Wars shit for is shooting scenes on Earth.

At this point I want them to film a scene in the old BBC Quarry, if you're going to film in cheap real world locations you better pay homage to the king of cheapo sci-fi settings.

implying no trade at all

That was just a plot contrivance to justify the podrace, there's a million and one reasons why Watto not accepting Republic currency is idiotic and to say that there would be no trade is ridiculous, and if anything the lack of currency exchange probably means that Tatooine works off a barter economony, or at least prefers real commodities over fiat currency as a means of exchange.

Shill can't understand why I called him a paid shill and continues to defend milady's (lack of) honor.

What a repuslive PFP.

 

[TheAmbiguousLurker]

@The handsome tard

Its very fucking clear who the bad guys were in the OT. In the PT...the lines are kind of blurred

Where? All the villains in the PT are pretty damn clear. Their greater qualities are either vaguely alluded to or saved for the content outside of the movies and none of them stop you from clearly seeing who the villain is.

 

[The Ugly One]

At this point I want them to film a scene in the old BBC Quarry, if you're going to film in cheap real world locations you better pay homage to the king of cheapo sci-fi settings.

Unironically agree. The world is full of deserts, abandoned quarries, weird-looking trees, and ruined industrial hellscapes to film in.

 

[Calandrino]

Nah man. The prequels were hated even before the whole trilogy was released. I remember the biggest Star Wars fanboy in my circle of friends making excuses for the second movie and expressing hope that the third one would be better. A bit later, he tried to convince us others that the third movie wasn't as bad, but the general idea at that time amongst everyone not a complete SW fanboy was that the prequels sucked. This was half a decade before the Plinkett review.

Some people like to pretend that the PT is decent and that somehow magically RLM brainwashed people into hating it for no good reason, when the PT was beloved and respected when it came out. That's complete nonsense. The PT was always seen as lackluster and poorly made with terrible dialogues and worse acting.

The PT always had a cult of defenders and in the end they had the last laugh. Maybe Jar Jar wasn't the greatest but he didn't destroy the setting and retroactively ruin the previous movies now did he? Plus you're a racist if you do like him instead of being a racist if you don't like him. Give Jar Jar some credit, it's the racist thing to do.

 

[Godzilla@1989]

Wow, didn’t know Star Wars and Marvel killed Tron 3. I mean, I’m not a bit Tron guy but it’s sad to see Disney trying to go the last route with buying third party IPs instead of trying to work on their own in-house content.

 

[Captain Autism69]

There were some interesting story elements in the PT, but they were buried under an avalanche of bad writing, bad dialogue, bad scenery, overdone special effects, and unfocused direction. Those latter things make the PT a trilogy of bad movies. Blaming a popular YouTube video for how atrociously bad the writing was in the ST is silly, as though KK's girlboss crap, JJ's mystery boxes, and Rian Johnson's subversion of your expectations would have been something other than a platter of hot shit otherwise.

And yes, there is way too much walking around in front of green screen in TPM, and droid/Gungan battle looked cartoonish and corny at the time; I don't know how TPM's overuse of CG was "disproved."

If the PT had a better script then it could have been ok...the ideas were sound, dialogue like 'sand' and yoda jumping around like a rabbit were not.

 

[Godzilla@1989]

I just got this poster for my apartment. It’s a great poster that shows both eras.

 

[Drag-on Knight 91873]

That was just a plot contrivance to justify the podrace, there's a million and one reasons why Watto not accepting Republic currency is idiotic and to say that there would be no trade is ridiculous, and if anything the lack of currency exchange probably means that Tatooine works off a barter economony, or at least prefers real commodities over fiat currency as a means of exchange.

I mean no trade between the Hutts and the Republic, meaning that these two economies are completely separate from each other. In TPM, the Republic is clearly a declining power while the Trade Federation is growing, hence why they were confident assassinating the Jedi envoys was a good idea as well as sending a blockade to a Republic planet. I guess normies could say corporations don't act like governments, but as any 7-11 store clerk can tell you, corporations sure love telling people what to think, what to wear, what to say, and whether you can be armed or not.

Alex Jones was right, these movies do make sense to an inquisitive mind. If you're lazy, they aren't and that's why the Sequel trilogy overcorrected by removing politics from the equation.

 

[The handsome tard]

@Mr. Zed da Robot Poon Fed

Honestly, I prefer Tron remain as it is

Untouched, uncorrupted, with Tron Legacy being left as the underrated gem that it is.

I legit dont want the rat to EVER touch it...

Tron 3 would be great to me (loved the OG and legacy even back then) but I know that the chances of it to be good would be a little to none.

Yeah, I do considering RLM both crystallized general hate towards the Prequels and indirectly provided suggestions to JJ and crew that led to the practical effects meme in TFA. The too much CGI claim came from them and we know that's it's false in TPM. Those guys are caught up in how "bad" the CGI is when CGI in the early 2000s was in its infancy and it does require experimentation to perfect new methods of filmmaking. They also ignored how utterly reductive their own criticism of the PT was, which led to no politics at all in the Sequels which led to massive confusion. Call Rian a Roundhead all you want; it's easy to confuse the Resistance with the Rebel Alliance given how TFA depicted them.

Unlike many here, I still LIKE RLM (dont love them tho) and I will be the first one to say that there are wrong/misguided a lot of the times and they didnt exactly have always the best influence of internet culture. They are peak boomer at its boomerness, hell, they are more trekkies than star wars fans.

I legit think the prequels were just an easy target for ridicule and early internet culture was always (and still is in a way) all about easy targets and just milk the shit out of that (hell, look at the Snyderverse for a more modern example). They were different and with some legit, altho very exaggerated, flaws so they went all for it.

@The handsome tard

Where? All the villains in the PT are pretty damn clear. Their greater qualities are either vaguely alluded to or saved for the content outside of the movies and none of them stop you from clearly seeing who the villain is.

I have meant is that we can say that the CIS are the bad guys but, think about it, outside of Sideous' obvious manipulation, what they were asking by itself was pretty reasonable.

Doesnt help we see that the Republic is dripping with corruption and bureaucracy, the senate being mostly composed of bickering selfish cowards who only want whats best for themselves. The system clearly wasnt doing its job. The CIS was, in theory, a reasonable response for a system that was falling apart.

We know Palpatine is the ultimate villain but in temrs of factions, both werent in the wrong nor right fully and thats the type of moral ambiguity Sideous was taking advantage upon. He knew what buttons to push on a societal level. Sideous took advantage of a cause that would otherwise be kind of well intended if we didnt know who was behind it.

The Republic did really horrible things during the war, hell, the clone army is a logistics nightmare if we apply IRL logic to it. At least the CIS are using lifeless droids to do the fighting but the republic is more than okay in throwing sentient life into the war grinder. Dont even get me started on how shaddy the clone army being around conveniently when the "other side" had an army of its own in the works (and no one questioned...apparently).

We know The Empire was bad from even an ideological level and yada yada but the PT at least tried some idealogical ambiguity.

Instead of centuries of low to medium level conflicts, Palpy ripped the bandages off and reformed the Republic by fixing the root causes of the Republic's shittiness. He brought about his own problems, but that's always the trade-off in politics.

I guess if Palpatine truly was as benevolent as he tried to make himself to be, The Empire might have been the preferable option between that and a decaying republic.

I guess normies could say corporations don't act like governments, but as any 7-11 store clerk can tell you, corporations sure love telling people what to think, what to wear, what to say, and whether you can be armed or not.

Good thing companies controlling the route of politics is truly something only for the realms of fiction.................................................................

Alex Jones was right, these movies do make sense to an inquisitive mind. If you're lazy, they aren't and that's why the Sequel trilogy overcorrected by removing politics from the equation.

I feel like the former can look beyond the mediocre stuff and look at the grander narrative being told and see the frightening paralels between fiction and the real world.

The latter is like "yoo, this shit is boring as fuk, where is my lightsaber fights?! This isnt Star Wars"

 

[Uranus Pink]

@The handsome tard

I guess if Palpatine truly was as benevolent as he tried to make himself to be, The Empire might have been the preferable option between that and a decaying republic.

Palpatine for most of the Empire just needed to be "not good, not terrible" for the people to be okay with the new status quo.

 

[Chris Mclean]

Obi-Wan Kenobi Head Writer Addresses Apparent Inquisitor Plot-Hole

The Obi-Wan Kenobi series excited many fans of Star Wars Rebels by bringing that show's season 1 villain, the Grand Inquisitor, into live-action.

www.superherohype.com

Headwriter for the Kenobi show:

NO ONE IS EVER REALLY GONE! Furloni gets to resurrect another one of his stale ass characters.

 

[TinCan Wizard]

The Grand Inquisitor died in Kenobi. The one from Rebels was The Graand Inquisitor.

 

[Creep3r]

Speaking of Filoni.

@5t3n0g0ph3r if its not too much trouble, would it be possible to add this video to the OP too since Filoni is the only Lucasfilm executive that I didn't cover? And this video does a better job of explaining his role and actions than any minibio I could write.

It doesn't help that the Sequel Trilogy suffers from too groups.

The Disney Executives who try really hard to play it safe so rejected Lucas' ideas and put too much trust in Kennedy and Lucasfilm since they think that it would work out for itself like with the MCU.

Kennedy for prioritizing her weird ass agenda and the directors for either setting up too many mystery boxes or not understanding that they are making a sequel.

True, but even Kennedy's agenda felt mostly artificial and not of her own original ideas (much like with most Hollywood scumbags). It was clear from the start that it was a marketing ploy mostly conceived by Bob Iger, Alan Horn and to a degree Zenia Mucha (Public Relations Officer) which Kennedy only went along with and adopted because she is a greedy Hollywood opportunist who just wants to slap her name on everything. Iger and Horn from the get-go were the biggest fuckups which can be attested to in Iger's autobiography.

Obi-Wan Kenobi Head Writer Addresses Apparent Inquisitor Plot-Hole

The Obi-Wan Kenobi series excited many fans of Star Wars Rebels by bringing that show's season 1 villain, the Grand Inquisitor, into live-action.

www.superherohype.com

Headwriter for the Kenobi show:
View attachment 3359331
NO ONE IS EVER REALLY GONE! Furloni gets to resurrect another one of his stale ass characters.

Even then this discussion shows that they really have no idea what's going on. They're trying to adopt from the Rian and JJ school of bad directing by relying on mystery boxes and shock value to move the plot along regardless if it makes sense or achieves anything. The show even implies that the grand fagquisitor's position is now up for grabs which means he's dead or he fucked up so badly they no longer respect him to keep his position. I mean ffs the guy trained to hunt down jedi got bested by one of his underlings ffs.

Also of course Filoni is going to milk this nameless gourd head and probably revive him, he's had him around since Filoni Wars according to a 2015 interview which was probably some retroactive retcon.

The gay new Vader comics also has the bald sith wannabe running around as Vader's ghost slave so they can milk him more and have him haunting Luke, but they'll probably retcon that to bring him completely to life.

 

[UselessPieceOfShit]

It still doesn't explain why would Vader keep GI around, considering that he is a bitch ass pussy, who can't do his job right and gets stubbed by Reva like a loser. In the cartoon, he chooses to commit sudoku, rather to face Vader's anger. But after this fucky whacky he goes away like nothing happened. Mkay.
It also doesn't explain how he maneges to keep his position as the leader of Inquisitors, who are established to be power-hungry assholes waiting for a moment to take the rank of GI. If he is so easily taken by surprise, how nobody killed him before or after that?