DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell: General Discussion #2

[TheGreatWhiteNorth]

Phil should record himself curling 12 packs of pop to prove how strong he is.

Or two gallons of gin.

 

[Ultrapenguin]

Someone said they did that in a mall and Phil just ignored them.

The only way someone would get Philburt to talk to them in real life would be to treat him like his idealized image: an average 9 to 5 blue collar working man worthy of mutual respect as a happily married mature adult. At least if you could get him into conversation, he's probably like a terrified marmot constantly glancing around ready to have a panic attack at any given moment, in fact I wouldn't be surprised if he actually tried to run away.

It's the new "I can lift up a gallon of milk." therefore, I'm in decent shape. arc all over again. I mean, Christ on a cracker, Phil! Most people consider themselves in good shape by running a mile in 5 minutes, however, what the fuck do I know?

Edit: What's next, Phil? Gonna tell everyone during your bodybuilding days your squat max was 385? Your PR on incline bench is 285? Your flat bench was 300?

To be fair in the online world a man being an openly straight white guy in a monogamous relationship (if you can call it that) able to lift up a gallon of milk is probably worthy of some kind of praise.

And yes Philburt is straight I won't hear otherwise. He wrestles constantly with his lust for videogame waifus which turns into rage and frustration at their power over him, like an old timey priest scolding a scantily dressed woman in the street for leading him into temptation. Phillip is a pious and mature man. He won't suffer unclean thoughts.

 

[Freshtodeath]

I assume its rare for a man to get a cut at a salon unless he's gay. The women at Curls and twirls must think phil is a beard or something. What dude would not go to a fucking barber shop? lmao. I want to be in an out as fast as possible. I dont give a fuck about getting my hair washed and color.

 

[Filthy Greenskin]

Holy shit the actual apex of physical health.

https://youtube.com/clip/Ugkx_LEVYA-XwMe1zE8uKzPBBfgTpMSKSh_w

The laughable 'exercise' aside, the fact an interesting point of Phil's day is walking to the mailbox lets you know just how fucking tiresome his existance really is when he isn't rocking infront of a camera.

 

[Pisstrooper]

in fact I wouldn't be surprised if he actually tried to run away.

waddle*

 

[PenskeMaterial]

in fact I wouldn't be surprised if he actually tried to run away.

He'd power walk away.

I assume its rare for a man to get a cut at a salon unless he's gay. The women at Curls and twirls must think phil is a beard or something. What dude would not go to a fucking barber shop? lmao. I want to be in an out as fast as possible. I dont give a fuck about getting my hair washed and color.

Probably feels more comfortable around them because he also has tits and high estrogen.

In all seriousness, the women there won't say anything about his hair and simply cut it and make fun of him behind his back. A barber will straight up tell him about the state of his hair.

 

[RougeRed]

I assume its rare for a man to get a cut at a salon unless he's gay. The women at Curls and twirls must think phil is a beard or something. What dude would not go to a fucking barber shop? lmao. I want to be in an out as fast as possible. I dont give a fuck about getting my hair washed and color.

I think it is just more adult LARPing. Just another thing he does because he thinks that is what adults do. Normally, I would assume someone would figure it out when they realized they were the only non-affeminate man that is ever there, but.....it's Phil.

 

[The Wicked Mitch]

Holy shit the actual apex of physical health.

https://youtube.com/clip/Ugkx_LEVYA-XwMe1zE8uKzPBBfgTpMSKSh_w

Barely even winded him.

Same guy that did 25 pushups in 25 seconds btw

 

[DZoomer]

I've been away from the vortex for some time, recently watched some videos that suggested that 1MM's tips are fake tips from Phil.

Did I miss some revelation? Or is this just a conspiracy theory from mentally ill mouth-drooling morons, with no basis?

 

[KKKrèmebrûlée]

I've been away from the vortex for some time, recently watched some videos that suggested that 1MM's tips are fake tips from Phil.

Did I miss some revelation? Or is this just a conspiracy theory from mentally ill mouth-drooling morons, with no basis?

Conspiracy theory. Doesn't make much sense why he would fake them either.

 

[WolverineGuy22]

I assume its rare for a man to get a cut at a salon unless he's gay. The women at Curls and twirls must think phil is a beard or something. What dude would not go to a fucking barber shop? lmao. I want to be in an out as fast as possible. I dont give a fuck about getting my hair washed and color.

Phil's mom used to drag him to the salon with her, 101%. And the nice old ladies would give him suckers some times.

Now, it's just another coddling moment that brings him back to his happy place, like so many other weird things he does currently.

I've been away from the vortex for some time, recently watched some videos that suggested that 1MM's tips are fake tips from Phil.

Did I miss some revelation? Or is this just a conspiracy theory from mentally ill mouth-drooling morons, with no basis?

conspiracy theory from mentally ill mouth-drooling morons, with no basis?...but actually

 

[Piece of Peace]

Did I miss some revelation? Or is this just a conspiracy theory from mentally ill mouth-drooling morons, with no basis?

The second one.

 

[Pisstrooper]

Phil's mom used to drag him to the salon with her, 101%. And the nice old ladies would give him suckers some times.

Now, it's just another coddling moment that brings him back to his happy place, like so many other weird things he does currently.

I'm a successful content creator who has to appear infront of dozens of people on a daily basis, ok? I know you might not be machoor enough to understand this yet, but as you get older, and develop as a business owner, its important how you present yourself to the uhhh... umm.. *SNORT* viewing public, right? make sense? So that's why I pay $150 every two weeks to have my hair dyed this special, custom uhhh shoe polish-- I mean hair dye, why did I say shoe polish ACK ACK ACK, I meant hair dye. They make it special for me, its definitely not that crappy out of the box stuff, I definitely didn't "fall for the marketing gimmick" or whatever morahnic rumor those mentally ill sickos are peddling this week. They don't understand that I have a business to run, and I'm too busy to do things like shower every day, or change out of my pajamas, so I have to try and make sure I'm presentable in other ways like this. It's called COMPROMISE idiots, look it up! That's what life is like for people with legitimate, uhhh... facutal careers. Ok? Fair enough?

 

[capefear56]

Holy shit the actual apex of physical health.

https://youtube.com/clip/Ugkx_LEVYA-XwMe1zE8uKzPBBfgTpMSKSh_w

How could someone do that to their own body? It's not like he has a disability and can't physically take care of himself - he's literally just allowing his body to fall apart of his own volition. And the sad part is that it's not even that uncommon. Most fucking people just let their bodies break down as they age.

 

[Brother Wind]

I assume its rare for a man to get a cut at a salon unless he's gay. The women at Curls and twirls must think phil is a beard or something. What dude would not go to a fucking barber shop? lmao. I want to be in an out as fast as possible. I dont give a fuck about getting my hair washed and color.

This is only because I'm being defensive, but there are places with only Salons. Real tiny towns. Which you know. Phil lives in. Because he did the sensible thing and took his huge income, and found a cheap place to live because he knew the gravy train would end. And found a house he could pretty much outright. And so he doesn't live just outside of one of the biggest and most expensive cities in America. This also justifies him getting a hotel in the city. Sure, a hotel 2-3 hours away seems maybe a bit wasteful, but it allows you to get in a whole day of seeing the sights, and enjoying the night life. Really with all this sterling decision making, one wonders why he has a thread on Kiwifarms.

Holy shit the actual apex of physical health.

https://youtube.com/clip/Ugkx_LEVYA-XwMe1zE8uKzPBBfgTpMSKSh_w

Holy shit Phil. Never, in all my years, has walking ever made me winded and short of breath.

 

[Beverly Sutphin]

See, everyone????? Phil is in top notch shape!!! Just look at those non existence triceps!! See how his delts fold over? Perfection! Okay, I can't keep up this bullshit anymore....

 

[unapologetic weeaboo]

Literally a couple of replies below my OP.

Its not troll shielding to have a personal preference of "I don't think it would be wise to swat this guy or run up on him and deck him" if you wanna do those things go right ahead I won't stop you but I will laugh as your dragged away by the police.

Both of these sound hilarious, but I doubt that anyone will do anything remotely close to a swatting. Decking anyone will bring you more trouble than it’s worth lmao doesn’t have to necessarily be DSP.

 

[Local Degenerate]

I assume its rare for a man to get a cut at a salon unless he's gay. The women at Curls and twirls must think phil is a beard or something. What dude would not go to a fucking barber shop?

I used to go to a salon all the time. Convient locations, decent prices, and I'd rather have tits on my shoulder than a dick on my elbow.

Then I wised up, decided the whole affair was fucking stupid, and started buzzing myself.

Edit for shitty phone keyboards.

 

[TomBradysVagina]

Yeah thay BMW that he doesn't have anymore, fucking retard pay attention

I guess I didn't make it obvious enough. My bad.

He really did sound like he felt accomplished for not dying while GETTING HIS MAIL. Holy shit. What'd he go for one 30 minute power walk and he thinks that leveled up his fitness or something? Hilarious.

 

[Mr.PiggyOinkOinkOinkOink]

wow, he really has a hate boner for digital women.

Meets Serana, his entire mannerism becomes agressive
Gives her a sarcastic response right off the bat, cause you know pixels can hear you.
Then to shit talk a FICTIONAL CHARACTER he goes on this single digit iq rant about how she makes no sense cause a vampire's legs would have atrophied.

Centuries old undead blood drinking creatures of the night who can turn into bats or mist that have mind control powers in a world with magic, zombies, rats of unusual size, elves, ye older robots, teleportation, magic shouting, tree spirits and dragons it's hard to believe that they wouldn't rot away hybirnating for centuries.

sure phil, sure...

Gotta go with Phil on this one, he’s got to have first hand experience with leg atrophy