DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell: General Discussion #2

[BPD Gunt Rider]

Reminder that Rich UNIRONICALLY thinks DSP isn’t a bad guy. Lolcows stick together I guess?

Rich used to be the King of E-Begging before Phil took his throne, so not surprising.

 

[Iron Father]

Phil: ‘Derich says his favorite character just died.’

Surely it’s because Derich loved the character’s extensively developed personality and definitely nothing else…

Spoiler: The actor playing the character

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"Eww I don't wanna fucking look at boobs all day long!"

 

[GunnlaugurSassoon]

In all seriousness it’s almost a certainty something is wrong with him; he has the emotional age of a teenager, if not younger.

Im about 70% convinced he’s autistic as that would explain a lot.
He’s definitely a narcissist as others have pitched before, but to me that’s either separate or a symptom of something else.
That wouldn’t explain why he’s wearing teenagers T-shirts, is so bad with money and responsibilities, dresses in silly hats, does the ‘I know, but I’m not allowed to tell you!’ shtick little kids do, etc.

DSPs entire worldview is literally shaped by 80s movies and WWE. He did nothing but spend time with his mom and play Street Fighter and the fake life he invented for himself is based entirely off of shitty movie and WWE tropes. He definitely has arrested development but that level of delusion about reality definitely comes from some sort of 'tism, too. Plus the swaying.

 

[SauceRyuKen]

There is absolutely no correlation between Phil's wife ballooning up to 400lbs and him suddenly deciding he hates sexy vidya women and that every spare cent he has going on pictures of oily naked men...

PhatKat was the final nail in the coffin of Phil's already thinly veiled homosexuality.

I mean let's face it, if your 40 year old husband wears a Pikachu hat and gold embellished waistcoat to be financially propped up by literal mongs, you'd comfort eat yourself into oblivion too. You can only soak up so many tears with Taco Bell napkins.

I think Kat kept him on a short leash even before the FatKattening because she knew just how little she brought to the table. 3/10 looks, absolutely no hotness to her at all, needs to do a little Super Saiyan ki charge just to go for a peck on the cheek... That said and as one of the biggest defenders of "No, REALLY, Phil is actually a closet queen, you guys, source: trust me bro." I think Kat's still gonna do that shit purely out of habit. Cheaters tend to be jealous, if nothing else because they know what's up.

Insecure, fat, benzo'd out, bad at sex, bad at life, unemployed gold digging cheaters? You can bet your ass Phil can't even so much as look in another woman's direction without FatKat foaming at the mouth. Which is why still, to this day, one of the best ways to get Phil to respond to something sharpish is to tweet at him under a believable female profile. Again, this is a couple that cleeeearly don't fuck. I have never, ever seen anyone, not even the most religious zealots ever PUCKER KISS for their wedding kiss photo. Just Phil and Kat. They haven't had sex. Maybe the one time to get it out of the way, but that's it. Couples who fuck do not pucker kiss.

Spoiler: Phil and Kat's sexless, loveless marriage, and a touch of Pandalee

What Phil said the one time is true. He must have read it somewhere, but you do start taking sex for pretty much granted at some point in your long term relationship. Not that you'd give up sex entirely, or that it loses it's appeal, but you certainly don't always and every time pull out all the stops to just initiate sex with your partner. Sex with a long term couple takes like 5 to 10 minutes and just undressing them is enough to get people ready. Pavlovian conditioning and all that. Of course some couples just don't act intimate in public situations, but there are some things that don't just go away if you're fucking frequently. If you're fucking with someone, going for a kiss is entirely trivial. You do take that for absolutely granted. You're comfortable in each other's personal space. You don't mind bumping into them. I mean, you've most likely put their genitals in your mouth. Sometimes when they haven't had a shower in a couple days. We know Phil in particular showers once a week, the day his hair is puffy as opposed to a disgusting oily rag.

And here is Kat, going for a lightning fast peck on the cheek like it's a charged kamehameha. Girl needed time, preparation and a heads up, and Phil sat there with a shit-eating grin like "Oh yeah, look at this and weep, you fucking losers. I'm not an incel. I'm better than all of you." He HAD to sell them as a flex. He HAD to make himself superior to dent and detractor alike. Only for both flexes to blow up in his face in spectacular fashion. Panda was craving a good dicking and posted about this online, making him look like an omega male who legit went the distance to groom a nympho FOR COOKING AND CLEANING. And swimsuit mahdel Kat is now a dead inside, missing in action great big fat blob.

Again, this attitude kinda fucked him over. Had he been humble about Leanna and Kat, people would see them as positives. All he had to say was "Hey guys, look, if I can bag a decently hot, much younger woman... Well there's just hope for everyone. Yes, even you, little Derich." Then he could have sold Kat's ballooning with a simple "Well, I love her at any size, guys. Our relationship is not purely based on the physical aspects of it. She stuck with me, I'm older and less attractive, so I think we're past something so superficial."

Conversely, all of this relationship shit feeds (pun intended) back into itself. My wife's a gold digger, so I'm wasting literally every last cent on gacha. Take that, trolls! My husband just has literally 0 interest in fucking me, so I'm gonna balloon up and stop giving a fuck. Hey, I'm only here for the free ride anyway. And if he doesn't like it he can find a better beard. Well, no, actually, I'm not gonna let him. I love being HERE. With DOT DOT DOT Phil.

Just the way she said it was so damning. She does love being there. With...... Phil... Yeah... Ey, at least it's not sucking cock out of a van for breadsticks and salad dressing and taking kool-aid baths.

Phil really is a self loathing closeted gay man. Now, two things: First, I don't think he'd ever have the balls to suck cock and own it, but it's just what he's attracted to the most. Second, he's just not that into sex at all.

He's very quick complimenting men on their appearance and he specifically prefers muscular men. Never do the "Sir"s come out faster than when he's talking to a jacked dude. The one time it sounded like he had something similar to respect and appreciation for his father was when he described him being a bodybuilder. Phil is still really into wrestling. You can just see him basically crushing like a teenage girl whenever there's a hot, cut dude in proximity. He fucking described LTG as "A sexy man". Straight men do not call other straight men sexy. Good looking and or strong, maybe, but not sexy. Also, straight men do not constantly make gay jokes and references to analingus and anal sex.

Not all men are insatiable horndogs, obviously, but by god, a woman like Pandalee would have absolutely no problem getting a satisfactory amount of dick from 90% of normal men. Her approach wasn't particularly subtle, just get within sight and start presenting, but for most long term couples, that is normal and acceptably hot. And despite that, has he ever described Pandalee as sexy? Fuck no. Has he ever described Kat as sexy? He came close the one time but couldn't bring himself to do it. She "Could be a swimsuit mahdel" and "Has a rahcking bahdy."

Panda was young, hot and always willing. It seemed like she knew she was high libido and was willing to work around a more average person's limits, even, making herself available at convenient times. People have different love languages and all, but intimacy tends to be a big and fairly common one. Specially with younger people, like Panda was. The fact that she felt so neglected she went on the sims forum to whine about it is pretty damning. I'm not saying if you have a young nympho you should be splitting that 24/7, or that you're obliged to do it, but most men would think that's a plus in the relationship.

Let's be real, if you're in a long term relationship with a girl who was 18 when you started, nympho or not, she's not gonna have had that many lovers yet. You're probably gonna be the best she had if only because you'll get to practice more than the rest. Phil picked himself an easymode trophy wife and still somehow managed to fuck it up. The way she aggressively flirted with him only for him to immediately fold, shrivel and try to uncomfortably change the subject makes me think Phil never worked very well in bed. Might be a health issue, might be that he was just closeted, but in the end facts are he barely even touched Panda.

On the other hand, Kat is clearly uncomfortable in Phil's proximity, and Phil frequently slips and calls her mham. Phil considers a male's sexual peak is when they're around 12. I think anyone could just ask him which wrestlers he thinks are hot and he's just straight up answer without missing a beat. He never flirted with Anony or any of the other gay mahds he had, although he had a couple sus moments with Kekon and straight up dates with Aireaidlord. Not to mention he comes across as a spurned lover when he talks about Rambo.

The lack of hygiene, intimacy and comfort in each other's presence clearly tells the tale of a distant relationship between two autistic weirdos who have never put the ponos in the vagoo. Phil probably prefers it that way, but the thing is... You can't flex a marriage of convenience on anyone, Phil. Just not how shit works. This is making no one jealous. Not even Derich.

TL;DR: FatKat mentally checked out gold digger, Panda unsatisfied and undicked, therefore Phil gay and marriage of convenience, good night.

 

[Dona Morte]

Phil: ‘Derich says his favorite character just died.’

That is a spectacularly shaped woman.
On another note has Dave ever been asked what is his favorite thing about Khet?
I mean I know she put on weight but if I was asked (and was trying not to be rude to people in person) I would say the quality of her teeth and how well she puts herself together.

So looping back to the weight.
The weight tells me she must be in heavy depression.
What would Khet say about her favorite thing?
I mean aside from the money?
He is not funny, not rich, not smart. He has no interesting hobbies.

As a partner DSP truly sucks.

 

[Iron Father]

DSPs entire worldview is literally shaped by 80s movies and WWE. He did nothing but spend time with his mom and play Street Fighter and the fake life he invented for himself is based entirely off of shitty movie and WWE tropes. He definitely has arrested development but that level of delusion about reality definitely comes from some sort of 'tism, too. Plus the swaying.

Don't forget all the stuff he stole from South Park, Family Guy etc.

 

[Iron Hamster]

DSPs entire worldview is literally shaped by 80s movies and WWE. He did nothing but spend time with his mom and play Street Fighter and the fake life he invented for himself is based entirely off of shitty movie and WWE tropes. He definitely has arrested development but that level of delusion about reality definitely comes from some sort of 'tism, too. Plus the swaying.

You left off Teletubbies

 

[Kosher Dill]

What would Khet say about her favorite thing?
I mean aside from the money?
He is not funny, not rich, not smart.

Have you considered that Phil very possibly is smart compared to Kat?
I bet if you asked her, she'd say something like "He always knows what to do".

 

[Iron Hamster]

Have you considered that Phil very possibly is smart compared to Kat?

You're not giving anyone much to work with

 

[Iron Father]

Have you considered that Phil very possibly is smart compared to Kat?
I bet if you asked her, she'd say something like "He always knows what to do".

She's the one gaming Phil, not the other way around.

What does he get out of this marriage? Even the common idea that he gets Mature Adult™ optics is flimsy because the Internet never gets to see her nor any evidence that his marriage is functional. She barely even cooks anymore. She's the one with all the gains (lol) not him.

 

[Sicko Hunter]

" I have never, ever seen anyone, not even the most religious zealots ever PUCKER KISS for their wedding kiss photo. Just Phil and Kat. They haven't had sex. Maybe the one time to get it out of the way, but that's it. Couples who fuck do not pucker kiss."

@SauceRyuKen

Completely agree. All of their behavior on stream and in photos point to them never having been more intimate then kissing. Phil probably played WWE Champions on their wedding night while Kat stared at a wall or something. They come off as almost scared of intimacy with each other. It goes beyond being just shy. Kat just doesn't seem to want to be around Phil (shocker I know). Mormons give off a stronger sexual vibe then Kat and Phil.

 

[KKKrèmebrûlée]

Phil probably played WWE Champions on their wedding night while Kat stared at a wall or something.

Phil argued with trolls all night.

 

[PieceofShet]

Phil argued with trolls all night.

You remember why? I mean I remember the troll part but not sure why.

 

[BPD Gunt Rider]

You remember why? I mean I remember the troll part but not sure why.

People were calling Phil out for being a scammer because he begged for a few grand to fly to his parents and for taxes (which I think he said his parents both paid for everything, who knows) and he kept replying all wedding night and into the next day.

 

[Wasabi Panda]

so he's playing this shitty collection no one plays looking for "top tier players" but runs away from fightcade like it's gay thoughts about Rambo.

phil, are you retarded?

 

[sentrandeti]

so he's playing this shitty collection no one plays looking for "top tier players" but runs away from fightcade like it's gay thoughts about Rambo.

phil, are you retarded?

hes afraid of turbo controllers or whatever

 

[capefear56]

Wtf is happening in the chat right now?

 

[Exceptional Chimp]

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Wtf is happening in the chat right now?

Autism. Pure unadulterated autism. With a touch of the 'tardation to give it flavor.

 

[Bill Elliot]

But Kat is used to spending hours on her feet at work extra pounds or not. So of course a walk to the condo mail room doesn't wind her as much as Phil (who sweats if his AC isn't turned up high enough just playing games)

I don't think after Kat quit working at the Fred Meyers she got another job. I think he's been saying she's working but I doubt she's worked in years. She just gorges herself on Doordash listening to Phil beg in the other room.

 

[Iron Father]

I don't think after Kat quit working at the Fred Meyers she got another job. I think he's been saying she's working but I doubt she's worked in years. She just gorges herself on Doordash listening to Phil beg in the other room.

*Skyrim sounds*